#012 – Becoming a Business Bada$$, the Health of your Wealth & How to say YES when others say NO with Gala Darling [EXPLICIT]

Yes, unicorns exist. And yes, they do make you happy.

Ask Gala Darling, the author of the “Unicorn Cleanse”, a #1 Mover & Shaker on Her mission is to empower women to become the badass version of themselves. An avid speaker, coach and writer, Gala is determined to set you free and shares with us her own personal experiences of becoming independent.

Hint: It isn’t always filled with rainbows and butterflies.

Get acquainted with Gala as she discusses her trials and tribulations, what makes her tick and why she thinks entrepreneurs have unlimited potential.

“Manifesting is not about calling in what you want, it’s about attracting what you are.”

In this Podcast you’ll learn:

  • The rewards of finding the right audience
  • Overcoming rejection and dealing with hurdles
  • How lifestyles can make or break your business
  • The benefits of “me time”
  • The truth behind money and freedom

Become a Darling:
IG: @galadarling

Loved this and want more? Check out our other episodes here.

Spark a conversation! Leave a comment below or say hello @alexbeadon on Instagram.

Transcript Available Below

Alex Beadon 0:00
In today’s episode, I speak to gala darling whose mission is to empower women to become the badass version of themselves. We talk about becoming a business badass, the health of your wealth, and how to say yes when others say no. Welcome to on purpose. Do you ever feel like you’re trying to balance it all, nourishing your health while growing your business and living a life well lived. And no matter how hard you try, sometimes you slip from purpose driven into autopilot. Take a deep breath, relax, and let’s get you back to where you belong. On purpose

this is episode number 12 of on purpose with Alex speedin. And today’s interview is one of my personal favorite guys. gala darling is an author, a blogger and a huge proponent of radical self love. I personally adore her because she absolutely prioritizes good vibes only. And she truly walks the talk of what it means to live a life fully expressed and fully committed to your fulfillment and happiness. Plus, she’s an entrepreneur I really look up to this episode is uplifting, high vibe, and probably exactly what you need today. So take a listen and let me know what you think on Instagram. Enjoy. gala darling, welcome to the podcast. I’m so excited to have you here with us. Thank you for joining us.

Gala Darling 1:34
It is my absolute pleasure.

Alex Beadon 1:36
So the first question that I’ve been asking everyone is what do you find most nourishing about having your own business?

Gala Darling 1:45
Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom.

Alex Beadon 1:50
And tell me about the freedoms like what kinds of like which freedoms are most exciting you right now? How about that?

Gala Darling 1:57
It’s the freedom to create anything I want. It’s the idea that I can have an idea in the morning, and have it live by midday and instantly be getting feedback on it. I don’t need anybody’s approval, I don’t need to ask someone like, do you

Alex Beadon 2:15
think I should do this,

Gala Darling 2:18
which is not just about freedom within I have my own business, but freedom within my own creative self, that I have the confidence and the passion and the knowledge of who my people are that I can do that. And there’s no fear around it. You know, I can’t remember the last time that I created something for my people, and they didn’t go for it. Because I’ve been doing this for so long. I really know what they want. And I really know how to help them. And I really know how to serve them. And so it’s this really delicious thing. And it also is like it’s all on me. So if I want to, you know, take two weeks off, which is what I’m doing right now. I just got to LA last night. That’s awesome. Do that. And and I don’t have to fucking work for two weeks if I don’t want to.

Alex Beadon 3:07
Yeah, for sure. Okay, cool. So I feel like you’re different from many online entrepreneurs, because I don’t think you came into this thinking, Oh, I’m going to start an online business. Like you were just being creative from the beginning. So I would love for you to just like share your entrepreneurial journey with us, like, how did you get started? How did it transform into what it is now?

Gala Darling 3:30
So you’re sort of right, and you’re sort of not right?

Alex Beadon 3:34
Tell me more correct me. Okay,

Gala Darling 3:36
so I started Gala., in 2006. Because I had just moved to Australia, I couldn’t get a job. And I was like, I always wanted to start a magazine, but I don’t have the money. I’ll start online, and I’ll see what happens. Right? The idea was always that it would make money. But it was a really old model. It was a model of like, I’m gonna start a blog and try and make money that way. It wasn’t like I’m gonna be a life coach, or I’m gonna sell digital products like this is way before all of

Alex Beadon 4:05
that was it through blog advertising.

Gala Darling 4:07
It was originally like the first time I ever got paid off my blog, was having American Apparel buy an ad on my website. That’s so cool. Which is totally like such a picture of what the time was, like, that’s such a time capsule of a moment. But the thing is that I had been creating online spaces, web pages. You know, honing my online persona, which sounds weird, but really is an art form. Since 1996. Like I got an internet connection. When I was 13 years old, I learned HTML I coded everything by hand and I was like, off to the races like it was my favorite thing to do. And so I always feel like there’s a lot of power and thinking like what did I love doing when I was a kid? You probably still love that shit. And we live in such an amazing time now where you can make money from that if you’re smart. Yeah. And that’s amazing. Like that is like what a time to be alive. Seriously, I think that all the time.

Alex Beadon 5:12
It’s so it’s one of those things where it’s like, we it’s so easy to take for granted. But when you actually stopped to even think about our parents, like our parents didn’t even have these opportunities. So yeah, you’re totally right. Mind blowing. Yeah, but you got started. And then because Okay, so you started off with like, fashion. You had the idea of mind for this magazine, getting big companies to pay for advertising on your blog. What was the next like, transition point for you?

Gala Darling 5:39
So I was like, Oh, my God, yes, I’m making it I’m getting asked American Apparel. This is only gonna get better. And then I moved to New York City in 2008. And the economy crashed. And people were like, we’re not buying vlog advertising. Are you fucking crazy? I was like, Oh, shit. And I was living in New York. I had a sublet and the West Village, it was three. No, it was $2,500 a month, which is a lot of money. For me at the time. It’s still a lot of money, like, yeah, so a lot of money. And I was like, wow, I need to figure out how to pay my rent, because I really don’t want to be homeless in New York, that would suck. And I got on the phone with my friend Mike Dooley, who runs notes from the universe and is an author, an amazing man. And I said, what, what do I do? Like, how do I make this happen? And he said that he used to walk around his house with a Dictaphone, recording his thoughts, and then he would sell those on CD to his audience. And I thought, That’s a great idea. But my audience is not going to listen to a CD because we’re modern. And I wasn’t that confident speaking yet. So I thought, I will write a book. And I will write one chapter a month, and I will record myself reading it aloud. And I will sell it as a serial. I remember you doing

Alex Beadon 7:00
this? doing that. Okay, keep going.

Gala Darling 7:05
Right. And it was called Love and sequence. And every month was a different topic. So it might be like love and relationships or friendships, or I don’t even remember what the other topics were. And every month, I would go to a cafe and I would sit down and I would write like 20,000 words would write a chapter for caught it and send it out to the people who had bought it. And it was amazing. I was so nervous about putting that out into the world, I was worried that my audience would think I was a sellout or that they would be offended that I was asking for compensation for what I was doing. But what I realized is that when people love what you do, they’re happy to pay for more of it, if they believe the value is there, and the quality is there. They’re thrilled to give you money for that. Yeah. And that was like the first my first foray into digital products. And, you know, it was like a PDF. And people bought things using a Pay Pal button was like, unbelievably simple. And I

Alex Beadon 8:01
didn’t have Yeah.

Gala Darling 8:05
I didn’t even have a mailing list. So when people would buy them, I’d send them out by hand, one by one in Gmail. And I would stand out, like, you know, 200, and then they would block my account because they thought I was spamming people. And it was, there were a lot of growing pains. Like I was really just like, trying to figure it the fuck out. Yeah. And, but I made $100,000 off of that book. Oh, that’s amazing.

Alex Beadon 8:29
And then I realized for you at the time, that must have been like, firstly, you were kind of cornered, because you, you, you were forced to evolve. And then I think that’s so beautiful. I like that challenge. This is great for the listeners have like, a challenge. I could have knocked you off your horse and been like, oh, well, like, no one’s paying me to advertise on my blog anymore. Like I’m over. You evolve. So I love that.

Gala Darling 8:52
Absolutely. And, you know, by that point, I had been blogging, you know, full time for, I guess, two years or a year and a half. And I loved it so much. There was no fucking way that I was gonna quit. Yeah, like once you had a well, at least for me, you know, once I had had a taste of working for myself and doing things my own way. I would soon uh, jump off the roof and go and work for somebody else. I’m not made for it. I am not and every time I ever do one of those, like ridiculous personality tests, they’re like, You need to work by yourself. Yeah, I do. I do. Thankfully, boss to myself. So Right.

Alex Beadon 9:33
So you did that you then started selling chapters of your book, which then didn’t turn into the book?

Gala Darling 9:39
Yes, it did. So plot twist plot does. I’ve been used the bones of that, right. The manuscript for my first book, radical self love, which I shopped around for a while, you know, had meetings with like the big five publishers and I would get in the room with them. they’d be like, we don’t get this. Well, then why am I in the room with you? Yeah, it doesn’t make any sense. So that was really hard because I really believed like I was ready to publish this. And it was the right time. And there was such a need for it, like it was just the full body positivity really took off. So it was just a little bit ahead of the curve. And then when I kind of like, pulled myself together again and had the strength to like, send it out again and see publishers again, my agent was like, I can’t sell this right now. And I thought, You know what technology has changed, I am going to self publish this shit. And I used Amazon Createspace. And I hired my best friend who’s my graphic designer to design the cover and the interior and I hired my favorite photographers to shoot the cover. And I hired a girl to illustrate the chapters and put it on presale became a number one mover and shaker on Amazon, it was a number one new release in motivational self help. And as I did that, I got an email from Hay House, and they were like, how do we bring you into the family?

Alex Beadon 11:04
Wow, that’s awesome. Okay, before we jump away from that chapter, when you were in between, like trying to find a publisher, because you said that there was like a space where you kind of stopped and then you were like, Okay, I’m gonna keep trying, you’re your agent was it was like, now we’re not doing this. And then you’d like to Self Publish? How long was that period of like, you had the book, but it just nothing was happening.

Gala Darling 11:28
I think it was probably three years or something, maybe three years, it was a long time, I was really surprised by how much being turned down by traditional publishers would really like kick me, right. And I took that really, really hard because I believed so much in what I was doing. And I literally couldn’t understand why

Alex Beadon 11:50
no one was taking it. Want to do that? Yeah, wow. Three years. And then what changed?

Gala Darling 11:57
Well, I think I just, you know, I kept doing what I was doing, and my confidence grew and my knowledge grew. And I got more tools, I got more techniques. And now when I look back on that, I always feel like life is happening for us and not to us. And when I look back at that, I think I’m so glad I didn’t publish that book when I was 25 years old, because I didn’t know enough to really make it the book of it is now Yeah, and it’s a book now that I meet therapists, and they tell me they make their clients read it. And, you know, it’s a book that I think has some gravity to it. And, and part of the pain of me not getting it published at the time, you know, strengthens that book. It made me more determined it made it a better book. Yeah, I think that’s there’s such a lesson and when things don’t work out for us, it’s like, okay, how can you utilize that? Rather than, you know, playing like the victim or being sad or whatever, and you’re totally entitled to do that. I felt sad for two fucking years about that shit. You know, I eventually hold it together and and used it for a higher purpose.

Alex Beadon 13:15
Yeah. So for anyone listening who’s like, Okay, how do I tell the difference between I should just like wallow in my pain, and just kind of feel sad about it and like, let time pass? And like, no, it’s time to transform this into something bigger and better. What would your advice be?

Gala Darling 13:32
Well, there’s always like that period where you’re not sure. And maybe it feels bad. And you’re kind of like, I don’t really know what my next move is? And what do I do? And that’s a good time to, like, look at your life and assess what you’re doing, and how do you feel about it. And maybe if this project isn’t working, maybe there’s something in your life that you should be paying attention to instead, or, you know, maybe that kind of lull will allow you to build the desire so that when you really go for it, it’ll be super rocket fuels, you know, I think we can get really hyper focused on one thing and feel like if this isn’t working, my whole life is a failure. And that is never the case. And it’s important for us to like, maintain perspective. You know,

Alex Beadon 14:22
I love what you just said about like, if you’re going through something to feel stop and like take note of everything that’s happened and be like really awake and conscious about the decisions that you’re making and how you’re living your life. That’s beautiful. I love it. Right? Okay.

Gala Darling 14:35
You know, I think we would be very short sighted to think that everything else in our life isn’t affecting our creativity, our business, our bucking lust for life, like your relationships, the place your living, how tidy your workspace is, what you’re eating, how you’re sleeping, whether you’re exercising, your friendships, your spirituality, everything is connected and when pazza If your life is suffering, then they have a knock on effect, they ricochet through your entire existence. Yeah, we have to really keep an eye on everything. Like, for people who are type A, we’re achievers, we want to create great things. We want to make lots of money, we want to live a great lifestyle, we can really get fixated on my business, my business, my business, or whatever. And then everything else kind of falls apart around us. And then we’re like, okay, but I’m just gonna keep focusing on my business. And if I put all my energy into this, it’ll work. You’re kidding yourself.

Alex Beadon 15:35
Yeah, so what you’re saying is, like, half perspective, like, look at the big picture, don’t just get like hyper focused or obsessed over that one thing that’s not working. And I think also just like trust, like just trusting that when the time is right, the puzzle pieces will fall together, and that exactly what you said, everything is happening for you and not to you.

Gala Darling 15:56
And when you’re living in that state of flow, where you do trust, and crucially that you have appreciation for the rest of the things in your life, everything works. It truly works. And you will find yourself experiencing synchronicity all the time. Coincidences all the time. You know, I, I was thinking about this yesterday, I was thinking about how manifesting is not about calling in what you want. It’s about attracting what you are. So what’s your vibration? Where are you operating from? are you operating from a place of my boyfriend’s a dick, he didn’t do this to me, and I wish I was making more money, and I’m jealous of this person, and I hate my body. If you’re in that place, you are gonna attract more of that stuff, stuff that’s at that vibration and at that level. So it’s really important that we do whatever we have to do to raise our vibes all the time and raising your vibes. I’m in LA, like, it’s the most la sentence I’ve ever added.

Alex Beadon 17:04
It is so true.

Gala Darling 17:07
Really important that we make ourselves feel good every single day. And if you have no other goal, make yourself feel good first. And everything else will make sense. From there, you’ll figure it out. Like shit, and you’re like dragging yourself from goal to goal. Man, you could work your ass off, and it’s not going to feel good. And you’re not going to get there.

Alex Beadon 17:30
Yeah, for sure. Okay, we have to dive into that, because I feel like we’ve done something really epic. So you see what you just said, like, if there’s one thing that you’re going to focus on, like focus on feeling good. There’s such a balance between like focusing on feeling good, and really making sure that you’re in that high vibe place, and then maybe taking that too far, where like, you’re almost using it as like, an a way to procrastinate, or whatever. So I love to hear you on that.

Gala Darling 17:59
That’s absolutely true. And I think that there’s a balance to everything. And there are going to be days where you’re like, I just want to feel good, and you’ll stay in bed all day. And, you know, recently I have done so much self development, I’ve been to classes and courses and weekend retreats and stuff. And I’ve been exhausted, like I’ve made it to sleep. And I also have things to do, but I know that if I’m not sleeping, I’m not gonna get my things done. So I’m just allowing myself to sleep. And honestly, you know, when you’re just fucking around, or when you’re genuinely doing something that is going to make your life better or that you know what I mean? Like, I can give you all the guidance. But we truly know, I think

Alex Beadon 18:47
it’s also or at least from my own experience, it’s like from experiencing it you you find that contrast and the more that you just work on feeling good, the more you’ll realize, like when you’re feeling good, and it’s productive, and when you’re working on feeling good, and it’s not productive.

Gala Darling 19:04
Right. Well, there’s a kind of a wait, there’s a there’s a method of feeling good. That also feels icky. Mm hmm. Yeah, to my which, you know, like even saying that, like, I know that you know what I mean, when I say that, like, some days eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream and watching six in the city in bed feels amazing. And some days it feels gross. Yeah. And we have to be tuned into where it’s falling on the spectrum

Alex Beadon 19:35
are tuned in because like you need to know yourself to tune in. So what is what advice would you give to people who don’t think that they’re necessarily very good at tuning in?

Gala Darling 19:47
My best advice is to spend more time by yourself. And when I say time by yourself, I don’t mean looking at your phone, scrolling through Instagram, listening to a podcast Nothing I mean, like, go for a walk, leave your phone at home. Yeah. Or book out fucking weekend away somewhere by yourself. People might think you’re gonna be crazy and go live in a cabin in the woods forever if you get this, but it’s okay. They can think what they like, it’s so important that we get that time to ourselves. And meditation is a part of that as well, you know, really giving ourselves a space to investigate our own thoughts, rather than, you know, what is Instagram telling me? What is the television telling me? What are my friends telling me? What is my partner telling me? Yeah, you know, it’s really important that we have a curiosity about our own thoughts. And if we don’t give ourselves space, then we will never really dive into them. I love traveling by myself, because I get so much time to myself. I’m in an Uber by myself, I’m in an airport by myself, I’m on an airplane by myself, I’m in a hotel room by myself. And it’s in those moments where I’m just like, putting my makeup on, or I’m, you know, like unpacking my suitcase, where I just have these ideas. And these things come to me. And, you know, I love my boyfriend more than anything, but when he’s around, I don’t have as many of those moments because he’s talking or we’re listening to music or whatever, you know, it’s a very different experience. We have to spend time by ourselves.

Alex Beadon 21:25
So I’m curious how has spending time by yourself affected your business and your creativity?

Gala Darling 21:34
Well, I couldn’t do what I do. If I didn’t spend time by myself. I’m an only child. So I have a bit of an advantage there. I’m very comfortable being by myself. And I’m great at entertaining myself. Like I’m never bored. I’m never lonely. i There’s always something. Yeah, in my mind. You know. I watched an interview between RuPaul and Oprah the other day, which was I was like moms and oppressed it to rue what is the biggest sacrifice you’ve had to make in your life. Bruce said, you know, I’m by myself a lot. And in order to do really important work, you have to be alone. You know, Rue is married to a man, they’ve been together for 20 years, who lives here in Hollywood and his partner lives on a ranch and Montana, I think. And, you know, they see each other when they see each other. And, you know, Rue has a life that has a lot of space in it, because an audit to create and evolve and even percolate on your own thoughts and where you want to go, you kind of be by yourself. Yeah. You know, when I, when I lived with my ex husband, I had an office in our apartment, and I would just be in there and close the door all the time. And I needed that space, like a space where I could decorate it the way I wanted it, I could play the music I wanted, I could just be in there. And even if I wasn’t walking, I would just like look out the window, and be with myself.

Alex Beadon 23:12
I love what you said about creating that space. Because that’s so important. If you want to invite things into your life, whether it’s you know, you want to sell this much of your product, or you want to create a new product or whatever it is in your business or your life, having the space to make that happen. physical space, emotional space, that energetic space, like is so so important. I love everything you just said that was so good. So I’d love for you to talk to us about any practices that you have. Because you mentioned meditation. And I know like the obvious ones would be meditation, journaling, you know, moving your body. But is there anything that you’ve discovered recently that you’re super excited about that you could share with us?

Gala Darling 23:57
Yes, and I’m so glad that you asked. Okay, so I met this girl about maybe a year and a half ago, I think last January, I met this girl named Alexandria roxo. She lives here in LA lover, beautiful, mystical healer, wonderful woman. And we started to develop a friendship even though we’re on opposite coasts by recording gratitude lists, via voice memo and sending them to each other in the morning. So my morning practice for a really long time, would be to wake up. As I walked my dog, I would listen to Abraham Hicks, which I was loving, like on a massive trip over and then I would make a gratitude list for Alexandra and texted to her and when she woke up, she would listen to mine and text me how’s back. That was our joint morning practice for probably six months or so. And now we are experimenting with new formats and my new format is this. Okay? My new format is, and it’s all via voice memo, which I love, because it’s really nice to share it with someone, and you kind of become spiritual running buddies. Right? So you know. Yeah. But you know that they’re waiting for your voice memo. So you have to do you don’t want to let them go right? It’s better than just journaling, because your journal doesn’t really care if you’re there or not. Yeah. So my new practice is I get on the voice memo, I do some gratitude. It’s typically like three or four things. And I really, rather than just like rattling off a list, I like to really get in there and really feel it, as I’m saying, it makes it so much more real and more delicious. And then there’s two other things that I do, I state, a desire that I have for today. So something either want to create experience feel today, and then a desire that I want for the future, quote, unquote, because the future can be in like five minutes, but it’s like a bigger picture desire. Now the key is with these two desires, I state them as if they’ve already happened, right? I love so I’ll say like, so I’ll say my gratitude. And then I’ll be like, and for desire, I had the most beautiful day to day, I did this, I saw this person, I felt this way, blah, blah, blah. And same goes for the future, quote, unquote, desire, I stayed it as if it’s already happened. And as I’m doing it, I, you know, when I did my gratitude list, and it was just a gratitude list, I would walk along the street, and I would be slightly distracted. Now, when I do this practice, I’m really sitting in it, and I’m visualizing as strongly as I can. I’m really feeling it. And I’m really luxuriating in the image. And I turned the image up, like I make the image even more colorful, more bright, more exciting. And it feels amazing. And it’s also a really good manifestation tactic. So like, really, it works. Every time I’ve done this, I’ve experienced what I wanted to experience. And it just feels really good.

Alex Beadon 27:05
That’s awesome. That’s really good share. I like it.

Gala Darling 27:08
It’s also it’s really funny. It’s a thing that I’ve been doing for a really long time. So as an only child, again, love to walk around talking to myself. And I’ve found that I would often just out loud randomly This is so we started conducting an interview with myself where somebody was asking me like, how did you achieve that amazing thing? Or like, how did you do that thing? And I would talk back to them, as if I had already done it like, well, you know, I had a little problem here. But then I did this, and I tried this, and bla bla bla and I’m so happy with the result. And I’ve been doing that since I was a kid. And I don’t know where I got that idea from. But it’s working for you. But man, it works.

Alex Beadon 27:54
Okay, cool. So there’s so many places that I want want to go with this conversation. But there’s two really big things that I want to cover on and I want to make sure we get to them. Okay, so the first thing is, your offerings have really evolved over your entire career. Right. So you started off doing the online magazine, then you moved into the emails, then you have the book and then you did was it called Blog blog Academy? While yes, blog Atomy blog Academy, I always want to call it blog Academy. All right, blog Academy, which you did with two of your best friends. Then you you’re now doing like many courses, because I just signed up for one I signed up for the money one, what’s it called? The money amount of medical

Gala Darling 28:37
rituals, abundance? Yes. So that’s an amazing cost. You know, how many people have made $100,000 In two weeks doing this class? I was like, wow,

Alex Beadon 28:47
I know. Every time you share about it on Instagram, it makes me so freakin happy. Yes. And now a

Gala Darling 28:56
thing and like giving women the freedom to have money means you don’t have to answer to anyone, you get to do whatever the fuck you like. And so this is like a radical feminist act is to up your earning capacity and to be able to manifest money. You’re fucking unstoppable. Yeah. Especially for when many people stay in bad relationships or bad jobs because like they need the money, or they don’t have any money. Imagine if that was not a limitation for you anymore. You’d be like peace out, motherfucker. I’m gone.

Alex Beadon 29:30
Yeah, for sure. It’s just giving people the power to make the decisions that they really want to make. Yeah. And I love as well that it’s helping people who may not even be entrepreneurial, but people who are just, you know, in average, nine to five jobs who are able to bring in, it’s awesome, but Okay, my question is, how do you come up with the ideas for your courses? How do you go about launching your course because I saw that you launched that one. And there was a while there where you were promoting at camera with a promotion. Why? But I was wondering, I’m like, is this planned? Or is this like just very in the moment? So tell me a little bit about your process, your creative process.

Gala Darling 30:07
Um, my creative process is sporadic. Honestly, I’m not a big planner, I, I like to have an idea and just hit the fucking button and see what happens. Like, that’s really fun to me. And even when I was blogging all the time, I really resisted having like an editorial calendar even though I knew it would make my life easier because I was like, this is boring. I don’t want to do this offends me and so I’m okay, how do I come up with the idea to my classes, I really I look at like, where I’m struggling or where I’m having trouble or something that I hear from people all the time and I then create something around it. My latest class is called metaphysical matchmaker. And

Alex Beadon 30:51
how am I not heard of this?

Gala Darling 30:54
I’ve literally only shed one thing on Instagram stories about it. And I’m about to launch a five day challenge so people can try that out before they go into the program. Metaphysical Matchmaker is about cleaning up your vibration around love and, and relationships, and then channeling your essence into your online dating. So like Okay, now that you feel good about yourself, what kind of photos should you take for Tinder? And what do you write in your profile so that you can attract someone that really gets you?

Alex Beadon 31:23
I love that so much, which I’m so excited about. I

Gala Darling 31:26
was originally going to call this class Tinder which and then I was like, they will totally certainly slash give me a cease and desist. Let’s say totally make it. Let’s make it more broad. So metaphysical matchmaker it is which is kind of like I love it, because it’s like Millionaire Matchmaker. Yes, yes. It’s so

Alex Beadon 31:43
good. Okay, so for something like that, okay. I always find myself my, if I look back at like my career of selling online products, I feel like I’ve always kind of leaned to being very by the book. So like, they always say, like, focus on one thing, and be known for that one thing, and like to it right? And if I look at you, especially right now, in this chapter of your career, you’re like, Okay, we’re gonna talk about money. And then we’re going to talk about your life. And then we’re going to talk about romance. And then we’re gonna talk about this. And it just seems like super broad. And actually, the one core thing that like, ties it all together is you. Right? And so I’m curious, like, what your thoughts are on that when it comes to like, really? niching? Down? So yeah, buy with me on that for a bit.

Gala Darling 32:28
Yes. niching down can be amazing. I really admire Marie Forleo. I think she’s the fucking shit. But I could never do what she does, because I would be crawling out of my skin with boredom. I just can’t do that. I can’t keep doing the same thing over and over again. Yeah. Like, you’re probably getting a really clear message from me through this interview that my whole shit is freedom. It’s like literally the first word. I said, Yeah. I need it. I need it so badly. And, you know, there was a time when I was like, radical self love, radical self love, radical self love. And it was great. And I believe in it. And it’s a huge passion of mine. But after a while, I was like, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m fucking sick of it. I can’t, and I can’t fake my passion or my enthusiasm. And I don’t want to bullshit my people. And if I want to experiment with something else, then I’m going to do it. Yeah. And the way that I, I mean, this was kind of my thinking about my blog as well. People would say, like, oh, you know, you write about so many different things. And most people just have like a fashion blog, or like a mommy blog, or whatever. And how do you? How do you make sense of the way that you do it? And I would always think about it like, like a magazine. Cosmopolitan doesn’t just write about clothes. They know who their customer is. And then they write about the things that their customer is interested in. And I do the same thing. I know who my person is. She’s a fucking badass. She doesn’t take any shit from anyone. She’s really creative or wants to be more creative. She wants to live by her own roles, and she wants to live an amazing, extraordinary exceptional life. She wants to wear wigs and go on vacations and have a hot sex life and feel free. I know who she is like, so anything that I create, I know she’s gonna be like, fuck, yes, I want that. Mm hmm. And for me, like, that’s really fun. And you know, I did my radical self love. Coven was a class where I had guest teachers and we taught you know, Tarot and astrology and all these things. And now I’ve moved away from that a little bit. And, you know, it’s like, I think it’s fine to evolve and move on. And there are times when things are really beneficial to you in your life. And then there’s times where you have like other techniques that are serving you better in the moment. So you use those. Yeah, and I think it’s really important to honor your own evolution throughout your business, like you might be known for teaching yoga, and maybe you’ve been doing it for 20 years. And now you’re like, if I have to do another downward dog, I’m gonna, whatever put my pants was, like, run away.

Alex Beadon 35:17
You seem to just live your life like following your excitement and your curiosity like End of story. And I love that about you. It’s so rare.

Gala Darling 35:27
No, that’s absolutely what I do. And I can’t like I just cannot walk. Okay? If you’re an entrepreneur, you can literally do anything that you want. Anything. Yeah, you can start a TV station, you can have a new brand of bottled water. You can do like a Sylvester Stallone’s mother does. Os readings. So like a palm reading, but you’re off. You have to photocopy your buttcheeks and send it to her and she will give you a reading of your death. So it’s like using her as an example to show you that you can make money and serve your people a million ways. And if you are going to your work, or you’re opening up your laptop, dreading what you’re doing, something’s wrong. How to do something else. Stop bullshitting yourself, you know, all your excuses, or your reasons are just that they’re excuses. Do something else, send out an email, tell your coaching clients, hey, I’m not doing this anymore, do you want a refund, or refer them to someone else or close down your group program that you fucking hate looking at the Facebook group of or whatever, like, yeah, get rid of the dread in your life, it’s just gonna make you sick and tired. And you’re gonna need way more concealer and just like save the money, do something you really want to do.

Alex Beadon 36:58
That was the best sentence ever. Okay. So the next thing that I really wanted to talk to you about was your sense of self. I think of anyone that I can think of online, you are like the queen when it comes to really owning your sense of self, you know, and, and I feel like lately, especially I would say over the past few months, you really like stepped into you. And that’s why I was kind of happy. Because I started filming our sorry, recording podcast episodes a really long time ago, and I waited to talk to you. And I’m so glad that I waited because like, I just feel like I’m meant to talk to you now. But I feel like what’s so powerful about your business and why it works so well is because you are so yourself and like you. I mean, it’s visual, it’s inside outside. It’s everything. So I love for you to talk to us about how to cultivate that sense of self? And if and how much you believe that that has really been like your differentiating factors like how you you’ve been?

Gala Darling 38:00
That’s a really interesting question. I love that because I have to think about that. So I agree that I am more on myself now than I’ve ever been. And it feels so amazing. And the interesting thing about it is that the reason that I’m so myself is because I have been viciously uprooting all my old beliefs, all my old limitations, all my old stories and saying, fuck that no more. And I’ve been literally, like really, truly pushing myself out of my comfort zone multiple times a week, like every day, trying to do different things, trying to be a better person trying to change how I see myself. And it’s been an amazing, terrifying hair raising wonderful experience. And that’s the only way that you get to like the gritty, 60 Juicy center of yourself is by looking at your shit. Yeah. And people kind of don’t want to hear that. I think they feel like they want a shortcut to it. And

Alex Beadon 39:11
much yeah, they want like the easy route. They do.

Gala Darling 39:15
And it’s really intense. You know, I’ve been trying all these new techniques and going to all these seminars and you know, like, the last month I think, I have like screamed and cried in public. Both of those things, screaming in public and crying in public more than I ever thought possible. And, you know, I’ve danced naked in public in the last like two weeks and I didn’t know that that was going to happen. It was part of a class I was in like, it’s been really challenging. And I am doing things where like, you know, have a story around like, Oh, I’m not good at this thing. So I’ve been taking classes in that thing. And then I’ve been like, practicing that thing in front of people I love and respect and, and hoping that they won’t be like, you suck at that. And you know, and even, like practicing that thing, and then being them being like, yeah, you’re not really doing that, right? It’s like, it’s like an arrow in the fucking hearts. But if you don’t do it, you don’t get better. You don’t learn about yourself, nothing changes, you stay stagnant. I don’t want to stay stagnant anymore. And I’m realizing like the places where I really seriously have to up my game. Like, it’s ironic that radical self love is my shit. Because firstly, I came from a place where I really didn’t love myself at all. And then I moved into radical self love, and I’m so in it. And so like, I’m independent, I’m doing my thing, blah, blah, blah, that it has like atrophied my ability to relate to people, and to be compassionate, and to listen with my heart rather than my head and to really be with someone and have empathy and understand them. Like, I’m really working on those skills right now, because I’m not great at that. And it’s fucking hard. And like, being vulnerable, and dropping my old bullshit, it’s not easy. And, and at the same time, every time I do that, and I feel myself grow. It’s like a little celebration. And so again, I’m like, more on myself. Like, I love myself more, I love my body more. I’m like wearing colorful wigs and like, having a great life and wearing you know, silver sequined jumpsuits on stage and stuff like that. I’m like, really vibing my shit. But only because I’m putting the walk in. Goes

Alex Beadon 41:52
for someone listening. And they’re like, Okay, like, I know, I need to work on myself. What would you say? Because you just said like, You got really fed up of your own shit, right? And you realize that I had to stop, you had to like change your ways, and really be become the better person through letting all that stuff go. How do you get to that point? What is something that you recommend? Like? What’s a resource that you can recommend? Or like, how, what is the first step for someone who’s like, I know what it is, I’m terrified. And like, I can’t seem to

Gala Darling 42:25
leap. Okay, so here’s what I would say you do, you get out a piece of paper, and you divide it into four sections. And you pick an area of your life that you’re not happy with. Maybe it’s your body, maybe it’s your relationships, maybe it’s your business, spirituality, whatever. And I want you to write down, like what it is right now. How’s it feel, be totally honest, if your relationship sucks, write down, like we’re not having sex, or, you know, like, my partner is not kind to me, or I’m not kind to my partner or whatever. Write down everything that’s going on. And then, actually, it’s only two sections, it’s just, let’s just keep it simple. Mostly, you’re gonna write down like how it is. And you’re going to be totally honest with yourself, because if you can’t face it, you can’t deal with it. And then I want you to write down how you want it to be. And I want you to dream as big as possible, I want you to have a beautiful vision for yourself in that arena, and make it fantastic. And then see what the difference is and be like, What would I have to do to close this gap? How do I get from this to this, and the amazing, wonderful, great thing is that the world and especially the internet is full of programs to help you get from there to here.

Alex Beadon 43:49
So true. So

Gala Darling 43:51
find someone that has a class and something that you want. If you don’t like how your bank balance is looking then sign up for my abundance class. But like your relationships, Tony Robbins has an amazing relationship series that you can take, like, there are so many courses and classes at our disposal. But here’s the key. You have to actually do them. So when the email comes in, you do the exercise. Like I’ve been listening to this relationship program that’s blowing my mind. It’s 10 days worth of audio. I listened to it the first time with like my eyes, just like sauces, I couldn’t believe it. And then I went back to the beginning. I grabbed a sketchbook In fact, I can show you I mean your your audience can’t see. But I grabbed a sketchbook and I started making on everything that I was hearing and doing assignments. And it’s like the second time listening to it making notes and then taking the skills picking one and applying it every day for a week and seeing what happens like we really have to be active in this process, you can’t think your way to change have to act your way there. So find someone who is a leader in what you want, and do what they say, do what they say.

Alex Beadon 45:13

Gala Darling 45:14
it’s like really simple.

Alex Beadon 45:16
But it’s so powerful. Because everything that you said, are things that are so easy to be to skip over and to be like, Oh, no, I’ll get to it. I’ll get to it. I’ll get through it and create change.

Gala Darling 45:26
That’s the thing is like people who are successful leave a trail behind them. Yeah, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Just follow their breadcrumbs do what they did. Yeah. And the even better thing is, most people who are successful have written about what they did, and also written about what didn’t work. So you can like cut out the middleman. You don’t have to do the stuff that sucks. Just do the shit that works. You have to actually do it. Yeah, you have to do it. And you have to want it. It’s about hunger. It’s about passion. And sometimes if you don’t have the hunger, it’s because your vision for what it could be isn’t compelling enough.

Alex Beadon 46:03
Yeah. Clear?

Gala Darling 46:06
Or isn’t clear exactly what you can’t get there. If you don’t know what you want.

Alex Beadon 46:10
That’s always like my first question. I’m like, so what do you want? Like, what are you trying to create and the amount of people who are like, I’m like, no good to hear.

Gala Darling 46:20
And to bring it back to my morning practice. Every morning sitting, my desire and my gratitude, even sitting my desire for the day, and then my desire for the future forces me to be like, What do I want? And honestly, the first couple of times I did it, I really was like, huh, Mmm hmm. And I was like, I can’t believe I don’t even like immediately know it. Yeah. And the more that you practice, like stepping into your desire, the easier it becomes, and when you know what you want, it’s so easy to get that. Yeah, you have to know what it is. And crucially, sometimes when there’s like something we want, there, it’s like a an issue. And there’s, it’s a stick and there’s two ends of the stick one end of it is like the thing that you want, and it’s juicy and beautiful. But the other end of the stick is like the lack of it and focusing on what you don’t have around it. So you have to be able to see it as like, already done feeling really good. And giving you all these beautiful sensations rather than like, I want this thing, but why don’t I have it? And what did I do wrong? And why am I never getting what I want? And why am I not worthy? I have to rewire how we think about these things. And it just takes

Alex Beadon 47:34
practice. Yeah, and

Gala Darling 47:36
nobody is yes. And nobody is automatically great at this. Like it’s a skill that you learn. But you only learn it if you make it a priority to practice it. So we have to be real with ourselves and not believe that we can think our way into change. We can’t we have to act our way there and we have to make it a practice.

Alex Beadon 47:57
This is so good. I love okay, we’re going to end on that note. But before we wrap up, I have four questions. Maybe five that I asked everyone at the end so what is one thing you do that has been a non negotiable in the success of your business?

Gala Darling 48:19
Having fun. I if something comes my way, and it doesn’t sound fun. I don’t do it. Amen. Okay, great. No matter what the money is, like, I always say no.

Alex Beadon 48:33
Share one mindset shift that made the biggest difference in your life as an entrepreneur.

Gala Darling 48:45
One of them was that people are looking to me to live an inspired, exciting, beautiful, sexy life. And if I’m not living that, then what the fuck am I doing? And realizing like I really have to. If people if I want people to look up to what I’m doing and be inspired by it, then I have to be an even bigger version of that. Which means I have to push myself out of my comfort zone. I have to try new things. I have to be the one who was the wigs like I have to really go for it in order for people to feel like they can make the smallest change.

Alex Beadon 49:28
That’s awesome. That’s such a good one. Like I feel like that hit me really hard. Okay. Fill in the blank, the world would be a better place if more people knew blank.

Gala Darling 49:40
how amazing they are. We are all operating under this delusion that we just suck and we’re not creative and we’re not clever and we’re not lovable and we’re not sexy. And it’s all bullshit. Every single piece of that is about your story you tell yourself and you are all of those things, but you’re just telling yourself some old bullshit that you learned really young. And you hold on to because like, it’s safer to be there. Nobody wants to risk it and like, maybe be proven wrong or, you know, they don’t want to be too big and have their friends be like, You think you’re so great.

Alex Beadon 50:18
Yeah, that’s such a big one. That is such a big one. Okay, the book that changed my life was

Gala Darling 50:29
changed my life. I don’t know if a book has changed my life, actually.

Alex Beadon 50:37
Fair enough. Yeah. Cool. The last thing, which is one of my favorites is every time I interview someone, I asked them to challenge our audience to do something this week, or to focus on something to take some sort of action. So what is it that you would like to challenge our audience to do?

Gala Darling 50:57
I want you to adopt my morning practice for a week, every day, I want you to open up the voice memo on your phone, I want you to record a like two or three things you’re grateful for. Something you want to do today, phrased as if it’s already been done. And something you want for the future phrase is, if it’s already been done, I want you to visualize it really clearly. And like get high on how good it feels. Once those things are done. And then I want you to send it to a friend. And the first time that you do it, you may not know who will be down for this. So send it to like five people. And at the beginning of the voice message be like, here’s the thing I’m trying I would love for you to do the same thing. Explain what you’re doing and say send me one back and see who wants to play ball. Do it for a week. Instagram, DM me or comment on my shit and tell me how it feels? Because I promise you it’ll feel so so good.

Alex Beadon 51:48
Thank you so much. I feel so great about this conversation. It was so inspiring. So much, Carla, and before you leave, can you let everyone know where they can find you online?

Gala Darling 52:03
Yes, I’m a gala. I am at gala darling on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, all those places, but Instagrams still the most fun one.

Alex Beadon 52:17
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. If you enjoyed it, I would love for you to give me a shout out on your Instagram story or anywhere. Just letting me know what your biggest takeaway was. You guys have no idea how helpful and useful it is for me. When you message me telling me what your aha moments were telling me what it is that you took away from the podcast. It helps me understand what is most valuable to you. And it helps me understand how I can be of the highest service to you. So if you could take two minutes to do that I would really appreciate it. Thank you guys so much for watching. I hope to hear from you over on Instagram. You can find me at Alex beaten and I will talk to you again very soon. Bye

Oh my gosh you guys look how amazing this shrimp serata cocktail looks meet Beatrice an avid Instagram Stories user and visionary to her followers. I can’t wait till you guys try this out. Yes, I’m talking to all three of you. Um, all two of you. Well, I guess I’m just here by myself now. Why don’t be a basic Beatrice on Instagram. Keep your audience wanting more by learning how to edit your Instagram stories like a pro. Visit www dot gram- and learn these simple free tips that will have your friends impressed with your Instagram Stories for years to come.

#006 – Why Social Media Numbers Don’t Matter, How To Have High Quality Friendships, and Focusing on Vulnerability and Empowerment with JuVan Langford

In a world where millions of likes, follows and subscriptions are the ultimate goal, having less than 100 may actually be more than you think.

In a society that values productivity over health, your business is sick whenever you are.    

In times of challenge and conflict, sometimes your best display of strength is vulnerability.  

These are but some of the unconventional truths that have shaped our next guest, JuVan Langford, a lifestyle entrepreneur, business coach and global speaker on men’s empowerment.

“If you are not happy with people around you—it’s not your people.”

Sharing his nuggets of wisdom from social media to social living, learn how the founder of “The MENtour” lives, breathes and thinks about his purpose every single day.

In this Podcast you’ll learn:

  • Juvan’s core value in life and entrepreneurship.
  • What’s *really* holding people back from achieving their goals.
  • Why he does not care about his social media numbers, and what he focuses on instead.
  • How he maintains high quality friendships in his life.
  • The most important thing you should be taking care of as an entrepreneur (yourself).  
Nourish your Inner Child:

IG: @Juvanlangford
YouTube: JuVan Langford
Facebook: JuVan Langford
Twitter: @Juvanlangford

Loved this and want more? Check out our other episodes here.

Spark a conversation! Leave a comment below or say hello @alexbeadon on Instagram.

Transcript Available Below

Alex Beadon 0:00
Today I am so excited to introduce you to JuVan Langford JuVan Langford is a lifestyle entrepreneur, business coach and global speaker who supports men empowerment. And in this episode, we’re going to be talking about his core value in life and entrepreneurship, what’s really holding people back from achieving their goals, why he doesn’t care about his social media numbers at all and what he focuses on instead, we’re going to talk about how he maintains high quality relationships in his life. And we’re going to talk about the most important thing you should be taken care of as an entrepreneur. Welcome to on purpose. Do you ever feel like you’re trying to balance it all, nourishing your health while growing your business and living a life well lived? And no matter how hard you try, sometimes you slip from purpose driven into autopilot. Take a deep breath, relax, and let’s get you back to where you belong. On purpose.

Ron, I’m so happy to have you here on the podcast with me. Thank you for making time. Absolutely. Happy to be here. So my first question for you is where we I also have to just celebrate for a second, it just hit me that you’re the first man that I’m interviewing for my podcast, which is awesome. No way. Yeah. So this is really cool. Awesome. Okay. So first question, what do you find most nourishing about having your own business?

JuVan Langford 1:37
Wow. Well, I think the biggest thing for me, that comes to mind is core values. My number one core value is autonomy. Very important to me to be able to come and go as I pleased to be able to have flexibility and time and experience and relationships. And so I really enjoy the ability to be able to come to a country that I know nobody and to build a community, I appreciate being able to wake up when I’m done sleeping, I appreciate being able to walk in a room and to have the tools, tips and techniques on how to develop relationships because of going to, you know, weekend events and experiential weekends and doing workshops and online trainings and cultures. Time, Freedom has been a huge factor. And something I celebrate, I do not take for granted whatsoever. Because it’s very important to me. So being a business owner and entrepreneur, owning several businesses and the foundation and traveling globally, I really appreciate being able to have autonomy in my life, both personally and professionally.

Alex Beadon 2:41
And Did you always know that that was one of your core values? Like how did you come to that conclusion that you were like, Oh, this is what I should do?

JuVan Langford 2:48
Yes, I can give you the blanketed version, or I can give you like, we can go real deep real quick.

Alex Beadon 2:53
Yeah, let’s go real deep. Let’s

JuVan Langford 2:55
do it. So I’ll give you give you some broad strokes on my story. I’m from the East Coast of the US, USA. I was born in Bedford, Massachusetts, I was born to a teenage mother, my mother was 16 Share pregnant with me. I’m the oldest of five kids, I’m the only boy. So I’m used to being the only guy or the first guy. position. But as the story goes, I lost my dad when I was three. And my dad passed me a leukemia, he was 29 years old. Last week, I just celebrated my 30th birthday just a few days ago. So it was a big deal for me, not just because of the age, but because of my story. And my dad passed and so I my mother turned to drugs and alcohol, unfortunately, at that point, and I was raised in foster care in that experience of being raised in foster care. I experienced abuse, sexual abuse. And there’s something that happens for a lot of men and women, when you go through an experience such that that the depths of that is so many layers, textures and colors. But for me, I created this really dynamic relationship with authority. And I have an issue with authority, I still do something I’m still working through today. So I don’t like to be told what to do. I don’t like to be told I have to do anything, be anywhere. And so autonomy very early became something that I desired and craved. And you know, even working at jobs, I found myself just frustrated having to be there and having to stay I would get my work done and very efficient and time. Management is something I really believe in. And so I would get knocked things out that I had at jobs. And they were like, well, you have to say oh six, I’m done at 430 Can I have what? You want me just to sit here and just because of you know, it didn’t make sense. So I had a lot of resistance early on to to authority. And I realized that the only way I was going to be able to shift the dynamics of that was to be able to own my own business to be on my own time. So it was a really colorful transition for me what happened and I had some really phenomenal mentors and some some guideposts that supported me on that transition,

Alex Beadon 5:11
that seems to be something really big for you is the fact that you have like these mentors, like people who guide the way and really encourage you and inspire you to choose a path that that feels right for you. Can you tell me more about like, how did you attract those people into your life? Because a lot of people don’t

JuVan Langford 5:29
have that? Yeah. Yeah. You know, mentorship is everything. To me. Work for me is a no matter what I call them, no matter what says someone who can show for you, at times, and under circumstances where perhaps your life doesn’t make much sense. Just incredible, I can’t temporary angels that come into my life, and they just kind of swoop in and hear me the few dollars that I need, or give me that nugget of wisdom or pat me on the back in order to support me in the capacity which I need to be supported. And I think I’ve attracted them, because I’ve realized the importance of them. And one thing that was taught to me by one of my first mentors, he said, When you meet someone JuVan, make it a point to find something fascinating about everybody in me, there’s something to learn from every human experience, I’ll never forget that. And so I kind of made it kind of like a challenge, almost, when I meet people, whether I’m in this lane line at Starbucks, or I’m at a convention, or I’m walking down the street, I make it a point to connect. And most people men specifically don’t have the ability to connect, because most men, I work with men start relationships with their weapons raised, and they are defensive, and they don’t have the ability to be present with some kind of falling for a moment. And so I think for me, it’s it’s really practicing that presence and people feeling heard and seen by me and me, being very verbal, and very forthcoming and saying, you know, I feel there’s a lot for me to learn from you. And this is what I believe that I can learn, this is what I’m willing to do for that for that time. And I’m willing to support you in whatever capacity you need. And what I can guarantee. And what you can count on from me is that I’m going to take action on the information that you provide to me, period. And when you say that to somebody, something shifts inside of them. They’re like, wow, this is somebody that I think I cannot learn from as well. And I think I’ve learned how to, you know, attract, build and cultivate, you know, five star relationships. And so it’s something that I not only have developed with myself, but I take these tools and teach them all around the world. I love that

Alex Beadon 7:41
so much. Okay, so there’s two main things I want to dive into from listening to all of that first, can you take us down the path of your entrepreneurial journey? Like, where did you start? What kind of led you in that direction? And how did you end up picking up

JuVan Langford 7:54
steam? Wow, well, I started working at 16. Okay, right before my 16th birthday, and I was working at this insurance company, I walked into this insurance company one day, it was on my way, my route to school, and walked in one day, and there was a friend of the family. It was this guy, an older African American gentleman. And he’s just one of those guys that will just walk together always had a suit and tie very clean, bright white teeth, just a really smooth guy. And I walked in and I told him, I said, I’m looking for a job. And he says, Well, you know, we’re hiring. And I said, Well, I want to work. So I’ll do whatever it takes. He said, I like that attitude. He sat me down in his office, and he basically told me, I’m gonna have you do, I’m gonna have you registered people’s plates. So they have me taking the slips and going to the DMV and sending in lives on behalf of people. That was one of my first jobs. And I really enjoyed that. Because he gave me a lot of freedom, even though it was a job, he really gave me a lot of freedom to come down, make sure you handle this by the end of the day, and you’re good to go. So I like the autonomy. I like the like the flexibility that I had within that job. And then, you know, some finished school and I think my my next job after that I did a lot of production jobs. I came to California in 2009. And I was working for MGM and CAA and as an intern, vary which was a 180. From the flexibility that I had there because we were in an office I had to wear a suit and tie. You had to use certain language in the office, certain people you couldn’t connect with you had to be in a room and it was just so much structure and I felt a lot of resistance to that. But I have had every job under the sun from work in Africa, Zambia, and Fitch at the door of my shirt off to painting our Washington porches in the summer times to do tutoring to being a coach basketball, soccer football coach, to being an Uber driver to working in production as a creative director as a PA I’ve done personal assisting. I mean, I have done probably every job under the sun. I can name all of them. But it really wasn’t until Probably the last five years, maybe six years, I moved to California in 2010. And when I got here, I had a few realizations that production was something that I got to have some autonomy within as well. Because you get to work, you go from project to project. So I loved the ability to, you know, to jump back and forth. Again, flexibility is important to me. So, but I’d say, working in production, I worked at this multimedia company called Maker Studios, and I was one of the first of the 20 or 30 employees of this company. And we walked in to the office, they offered me a job to be a part of the company and the company grew, we grew a team from 30 was to 450 employees within like two years, whoa. office in London, and it kind of expanded in the company, what we did is we branded new and existing online influencers, a lot of YouTube stars, celebrities, athletes, and kind of pair them with bigger brands to broaden their audience and to bring money into their, you know, to their dreams and goals. And it was great, but the company isn’t being sold to Disney for a billion dollars. Whoa, I left there. Yeah, it was pretty crazy experience to be a part of that. And I left there started my own company, those 2013 and 2012 2013, and started my own talent, talent creative agency, which was great, and started a nonprofit organization. And let me tell you how it ended though. At the end of this entrepreneurial journey, I was in the office one day, and that my boss’s boss came up to me to say, hey, take a walk with me real quick. And I say, Sure. I said, what’s going on? And he said, I’m actually walking you to the HR office right now. And I said to the where, for what Nico’s work, today’s your last day. And I said, What do you mean? So when I got to grab my stuff from my desk, but wait, what is happening right now, I was so confused. It was a long walk. It’s a long flight. Wow. I get to the HR office and I walk in and as this white room, it’s a small, maybe 10 by 10 room, in the back of the building. And I walked in the room, they said, just please just work with this piece. I’ll make a big deal out of this Javan, you’ve been a wonderful asset to the company. But this is just how things work. And I walk into the room is this lady sitting at the desk and she says Hi, Mr. Lankford and shakes my hand Have a seat. And in the room, I sit down and she’s talking to me, she’s reading me my rights, right? Because it’s just like, let me go. And about 10 seconds and I blacked out. Right, I looked left Alex and on the wall and Blackstone two letters, read this said, Work Hard, Be humble. I didn’t hear anything. She said. I remember signing the paper. I walked out and that just stuck in my head. And I realized, wow, this is way bigger than what I thought you know, I was ready for this. I’d asked for this. I had prayed for this. I had thought about this. I had wondered and imagine what this would look like when I would when I would step out. And I walked out the office. And you know, it was a bittersweet experience tears of bawling my eyes of course, because I was being pulled from something that wasn’t I hadn’t made the choice to leave from just yet. But something was being made for me. And I remember sitting in my car, and looking in the rearview mirror and I said I will never work for anyone another day in my life I will only work with people will only work with people I looked at the last little bit of check that they gave me a little severance and a little bonus that they had given me to, to check my kick me out of what I had been a part of. And I hadn’t I haven’t worked for anyone since that day. And that was May 13 2013. Wow. And it’s been an incredible journey. Since then. It has been so many layers, textures and colors. This experience I have worked with so many incredible people I have traveled extensively to four or five continents. I’ve built clean water wells, and I’ve helped children in Dominican Republic and clothed and fed them that built schools in Guatemala and I haven’t met so many incredible people. I’ve launched workshops, online trainings. And what I’ll say to the people who are listening, I think this would be valuable is that on a journey to finding art forever, the thing that we want to do forever. However, on that pursuit, there are these things called for nouns. You may be working at a plumbing company and working on your bio and your website, seven to midnight at night for now you may be unemployed and be beating yourself up and killing yourself everyday. For now you may be single, and designing a relationship for now you may be in the midst of one of the most challenging points of your journey, but it’s temporary. It’s only ever always temporary. And if you could just stay focused on the end game and keep your eyes on the prize. You’ll begin to attract the people you’ll pull them in you’ll metal magnetic the resources and relationships will find you if If you choose to stay focused, and I think what has separated me from a lot of friends of mine who wanted to pursue his entrepreneurial journey is that some people have a strong will. But most have a strong wall. They won’t do what it takes Alex to, to stay to keep your head in the game to stay focused to do it anyways, I don’t have the money, we’ll do it anyways, I don’t know the next step, we’ll do it anyways, I don’t know where to go, we’ll go any just just any way. A little delusional in that way where it’s like, the alternative is working for somebody. And I know it doesn’t work for me. I put myself in a position where I kind of burned all the bridges and cut all sources of retreat, and have stuck to it despite and it’s been tuna fish and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at some point. And it’s boats and helicopters and private jets at other points. So it’s flawlessness, there’s no through line here, other than willing, being willing that having the will to stick to it no matter what.

Alex Beadon 16:05
I love that so much. Okay. So talk to me about your offerings, because everyone’s probably wondering, at this point, what does this guy do? What does he offer? Talk to us more about that?

JuVan Langford 16:16
Absolutely. So my, my focus right now is, is this probably to two legs here. One is I traveled globally to Australia, to Canada, to Africa, to India, and throughout the US Continental, facilitating two day experiential events, it’s very important that I’m able to teach people how to do three things, this is my focus, teach you how to self educate, so that you can self heal, and ultimately self generate, it’s about the self, me, myself and I, if you can really understand your story and your experiences, you can manipulate them so that they work for you and your favorite, and you can produce desirable results. So that’s what my weekend is all about. So it’s about diving deep, and providing people with men and women with tools, tips and techniques. Now, the difference between me and most people is that I separate men and women. So I do men’s only events, and a woman only events are very dynamic. Why? Because the conversations that come up in a woman’s only event in a men’s only event, I can’t say that people are willing to go well, when they are not in a woman and worried about comparing themselves to the opposite sex for worrying about how they’re going to be received by the men or the A woman is powerful. There’s so many dynamic breakthroughs that happen in those rooms.

Alex Beadon 17:34
So can I ask you a question before you move on? What is the main difference between when you have an event with women? And when you have an event with men? Like what’s the core difference between both?

JuVan Langford 17:46
Absolutely, I think let me tell you, let me tell you the similarities first. What men and women are both attempting to do or on the pursuit of are making peace with their pieces. We’ve all been, quote unquote, broken in some way. We’ve had an experience and event or an encounter that has shifted our perspective and caused us to limit the way we think what’s available to us. Right? It’s a lot of men are cause because of that, because experiences they go through feelings of inadequacy. They have what I call impostor syndrome, they only feel significance, but when they’re in power, they have an inability to receive state, they don’t know how to be alone, right? And all because they have an inability to access their emotions, they don’t know how to access the emotions, many of the experiences that life calls into, because fourth causes fourth into requires that component. And when it comes to women, women have access to emotions, but they don’t always have the ability to think logically or linearly. And so they operate from the emotions. So what men do what women do, externally, men do internally, right? So this is why there’s so many, you know, in my experience, so many disconnects in the communication between the two sexes. So it’s really powerful that women are willing to be emotional, but not take a step back and look at the bigger picture when men are back away from the solutions that they can’t even see what’s available to them. That makes sense. Yeah,

Alex Beadon 19:18
that’s super interesting. I love it. Okay, cool. So we kind of deviated so that’s the first part of what you do. The second part is,

JuVan Langford 19:26
the second part is I have an online academy. So I have an academy where I do business and life coaching and supporting entrepreneurs and really getting clear on one man’s story. I think there you know, entrepreneurship is something that is broadening the pool has been become saturated. Everybody wants the autonomy, everybody wants the flexibility. Everybody wants this luxury lifestyle, doing all these things, and it’s great. However, what differentiates Alex from JuVan and JuVan from Michael and Michael from Sarah is to our stories, most people but don’t know how to effectively communicate your story and their experiences and sharing the parts that count, right? everything that counts can be counted. And so a big part of my online account, and entrepreneurs get clear on this story. Because when you’re clear on your story, then you can deliver value people can see value or when the value is communicated people pay whatever they whatever you want for your services that do that, and then they get clear on their legacy. What’s the what’s your end game? What is it here that you’ve come to leave behind most people think of legacy as something that you leave behind. But my focus is living your legacy, you know, I’m doing I get to experience the legacy that I’m creating, versus doing all these things, wait until I’m 50, or 60, to create a nonprofit, but I’ve been able to be a part of that for the experience. And so those are the main focuses of the academy. And then I dive into the finances and dive into the relationship building and the resource development. So it’s a pretty, pretty pretty, it’s like a, I say, a fast, fast start, deep dive kind of bootcamp, if you will, for those for those who may just be beginning, but those who are in the midst of building a business and have hit a hit a wall, and don’t know how to really effectively communicate what they’re offering us.

Alex Beadon 21:14
Yeah, and connect with why they’re doing it in the first place. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so the next thing that I want to ask you is a excuse or something that I hear a lot from people as to why they can’t seem to find the right clients. And so I’m really curious as to what your take on this is because as someone who works with a lot of men, on getting in touch with their emotions, when a lot of men don’t even know that they’re not in touch with their emotions, because they’re so far removed from their emotions. I’m curious as to what the marketing process is like for you, in finding the right men to work with?

JuVan Langford 21:51
Well, I believe that we attract who we are. Because most people don’t know who they are. In this moment, when the client does arrive, they know not how to communicate, they know how to connect, they know how to be able to garner a relationship. You know, I think most men that I work with, you know, it’s Australian men, English men, American men, African men, Indian men, most men don’t have the capacity to connect. It takes a lot of presence, a powerful presence requires that you be powerfully present. And most people are so focused on the money. And so focused on the end game, the transaction, that they missed the transformational experience that’s available between you and the other person. So I don’t talk about money until the last probably 90 seconds of the conversation because the money will come, money will always come. And if you focus on the money, you miss the people, people the money comes what I’ve what’s what’s changed from me, is I, I’ve really been driven by the movement, to teaching people how to build movements out of their message. And I don’t have companies I have movements, I have several movements, I have, you know, my elevation effect with men, and that’s, that’s a movement and I have bravery with women. And that’s a movement, I have the mentor with my young boys that we teach leadership and development, character development skills, you know, once a month, 500 kids, five minute boys, no teens, that’s a movement is all movements. And my movements have momentum. Why? Because I have learned how to enroll people into my vision. Why? Because I know my story. Of that. And I think a lot of it begins with the story.

Alex Beadon 23:43
That’s so much. Okay, so you used to work with influencers, you said, or the company that you worked with us to work with influencers and pairing them up with, with brands. So obviously, you know a lot about the social media landscape, and just social media in general and communicating online. So I’m really curious to have this conversation with you. Because what has fascinated me about you so much, is that it’s exactly what you just said, you were so deeply rooted in your message and in who you are, and what you’re about and what you bring to the world. That every time I see you online, it just feels powerful. Right? It’s like I don’t I don’t really feel like I see anything that is inefficient or something that doesn’t get a strong message across. And what was interesting is the first time I found you, I was like, Look at this guy he has like, I just checked 10,000 followers on Instagram, 3000 Facebook fans, 1800 subscribers on YouTube, which isn’t a lot compared to many other people out there. And yet, you’re out there and you’re doing your work and like you’re still making things happen for yourself and not letting like the numbers slow you down like you’re clearly unaffected by the numbers. Right? So I would love to hear you talk about that. Your relationship with social media, and just how you feel about everything I just said, yeah, if

JuVan Langford 25:05
I can speak, speak candidly, for a moment. I’m so over social media. And I say that with with so much love, because social media has really been a huge support it as far as the expansion of my business, a lot of people find me through social media. But I’m not enrolled in this agenda that is build, build, build more, more and more, you made a post about this recently that I saw, because I’ve watched you as well, you did a video and he was talking about quality over quantity. Quality is so much more important. And I realized, you know, when I first started being an entrepreneur, one of the things that was told to me is find your core 100. Find your core 100. And I was like, Okay, well, what does that mean? Find 100 People who are ranting and raving fans of your work. And so my focus has been to develop that core 100. I’ve been working on that. And I did that with my men. And when I hit that 100 It was 150 when I hit that that number, and I mean when I say that number 150 150 men in an online community on Facebook group that I’m nurturing and supporting and loving on and asking questions and inquiring and sending surveys and I want to know these men, well, I know these men’s wife and other children’s name, I know where they’re from another vision, their goals. I know what they’re up to in the world. No one. I know a lot about them. Right? Because I focus on this community. People because I love on them. And I nurture them, they bring more people. This is something that I intend on doing Alex for the rest of my life. Yeah. If that’s the case, I’m in no rush to build that I’ll hit a million at some point. I’ll be on Oprah. I’ll do all those things. I’m not in a rush. And I don’t feel like I’m competing with anybody. Yeah, more as a person who finds what works, and makes it work for more people. So I’m playing the long game here. I’m not playing the short game of all let me hit 5k. Let me hit 10k. I played that at one point. And then I realized this is exhausting. Track I’m losing sight of why I’m doing this in the first place. And I’m being coming disappointed and creating this resentment around this vision that once I was on fire for now, I’m losing the flame. I’m losing the spark. Why is that? Because I’m focusing on something I can’t control. All I’m focused on something that it doesn’t make a difference. If I do or not the people who see my content, I get messages all the time, Alex JuVan, I was this was maybe two years ago, this guy messaged me on on Facebook, it wasn’t like a huge threat, maybe six or seven paragraphs. And it said, Thank you. Thank you so much. I was walking on my way from leaving home this afternoon from school. And I’ve been going through a lot with my mother and my father passed away. And I realized I didn’t have much to live for. And as I was walking to the bridge to take my life, your video came up on my phone, and I sat my back against the bridge. When tears I just wanted to let you know that you saved my life today. When you get messages like that, Alex, I give I have full body chills right now. It’s like, excuse my French before the numbers. Yeah, you’re about the numbers. I care about the people. And stepping into this entrepreneurial journey, focusing on the people. Money has always done its way to me, I’ve always been I’ve never wanted for anything during this entrepreneur journey, because I’ve been committed to the game. When you commit to the game, the game will take care of you, when you commit to the vision that vision will provide for you. When you commit to something bigger than you. You cannot lose you will only ever always be protected. And so I’m a little delusional if you think about it like that, you know, doesn’t make sense. Well, how do you do it? If I Why don’t you just stick to it? And I think the biggest groupings, community, community, community community I have been all trust selective. Most people select I’m selective when it comes to the community people I’m around. So big thing because those people influenced the way I think and the way I feel about myself. If someone is around me, and I feel like I’m exhausted, this is not my people, find your people. It’s something I talk about a lot and I saw a video you did that as well. But finding the people you gotta find your people the reason why people aren’t winning when you transition from being an employee to entrepreneur is because you spent too much time with not your people. Yeah, Alex and I used to be so close but we’re, you know, she’s she’s she’s kind of different now. And like she’s she’s it’s got a little negative she was dating this guy, or she’s not your people anymore. He’d been moving. Okay about that. The second thing that I would say, that has been a really big opponent to my success. As of late, is self care, I guess the best way to say is like spending time with me that I didn’t know how to be alone before, like most bet. And I think the leading cause of depression and anxiety and pain and shame ego for men is, is loneliness. And I learned that being there’s difference between being alone and being with yourself learn how to loved on me, and that’s massages and manicures and pedicures and, and going to the beach and going to the gym and eating clean and like taking care of my vessel. Because when my vessel is down, my business is down as an entrepreneur, if you get sick, the business is sick. If you’re depressed, the business is depressed, it’s all affected, it’s all touching. And so taking care of me has been a big proponent to that as well. And the third thing I would say is, that has been really, really huge for me, is, you know, I do this thing every year, I call it the starting five. And I pick five people that I deepen my relationship with. You know, I’m writing a book right now. And this book is a big part of the book itself is teaching people how to become relationally wealthy. And I think if we all chose our starting five, the beginning of the year, oh free, if it’s if you’re watching, you’re listening to this, and it’s February, March or April, whenever whatever month you’re in, you can start right away. But five, five individuals, who you feel that you can learn from that there’s something available to you and go to them and tell them what you see available, acknowledge what’s available for you. And then make a commitment that you’re going to support them as much as they can to support you. And make an effort weekly or monthly to connect these people, whether it’s lunch, dinner, or a phone call and be with them and learn and grow and ask them what they’re up to and be invested in their vision as much as you desire them to be invested in yours. And those three things, I’ve been a huge proponent to my success as entrepreneur. And if you can notice, it’s all people, community development myself in my in my starting five, is this the people who have supported me. So if you’re entrepreneur, you’ve hit a wall, it’s probably because you haven’t found your people. It’s probably because you haven’t developed a relationship with yourself. You don’t know yourself. Because I know myself. I’m interesting. So people are interested. And that makes all the difference.

Alex Beadon 32:24
I love that. Can you talk a little bit about how you got comfortable being with yourself?

JuVan Langford 32:33
Well, I got comfortable not I realized how uncomfortable was being with myself first, I think, I think, you know, the way I think of it is I feel like we’re born into a world just oozing with all this wisdom and knowledge and self understanding. And then we enter this thing called the world that’s built, constructed and designed to cause us to forget who we are. And we get enrolled. And first it’s just an idea. And then it’s a story. And then we tell the story so many times it becomes a truth that I’m ugly, that I’m not enough that I’m overweight, that I’ll never do this, that I’ll never have this. And because we believe these things we operate as people from our truth is that we stay broke, and we stay broken. And we stay confused and conflicted because of one moment, one moment, just one moment. That became our truth. It’s so It’s so crazy how a moment turns into an identity. Shifts in entire identity. And what I’ve learned is that you can do mentorship through reading through books through coaching, is that you can shift the any any any identity. And when you go from being an employee to entrepreneur, it’s a huge identity shift. It’s kind of for me, I played basketball for 12 years, I played overseas, I played in college, I played in high school, and to let that go. And people said, what do you do? I can’t say actually, I can’t say basketball player anymore. Do I say I work for this company. You know, people don’t know what to say they don’t know who they are, because who they are. And what they do are often two different things. And I finally found myself in a place where they’d become one when it merged. And it’s a beautiful experience. But it’s gone from that tradition. It’s called Identity foreclosure, and you got to shut down who you think you already become who you’ve always been. And that’s one of the most challenging journeys and that’s why having a coach in the community is important, which is why I do the workshops. You know, for men and women. It’s why I have an online academy which is why I work one on one with clients as well. And diving deep and challenging them and being that corner man for men and women who don’t have that support that they need. It’s so in coaching is so invaluable. You know, it’s so invaluable to have someone that would be able to be a loving interruption to your life and to be able to to knock down the walls that you scratch up that you crawl that that you look at, and it just intimidates the hell out of you. Important to have those those people in your life and so I’m excited to be here, I’m excited to be able to be a contribution. And I, I don’t coach because I have all the solutions around the story that I’m very clear on that overflows of solutions. And I think if I can invite people who are listening to do, you know, a tangible, tangible, tangible tool or technique is to really develop relationship with with two people. The first is with your inner child is to really spend some time with a little boy, a little girl inside of you and really listen to them. Because that’s where you’re operating from more often than not little boy, me was filled with shame, guilt, frustration, anger, and the man was really afraid of this boy, I grew to be this sensitive man, this emotional man, we’re gonna have this angry, you know, you know, little boy inside of Mansell, teaching the boy in the man to hold hands, and finding that alignment has has made all the difference. And that came from community from spending time with myself and finding people who could really see me for who I, who I am. And the second relationship is with some with the higher power, you know, I, some people were really resistance to spirituality, it was just a religion and theology. But I think it’s very important for us to have a relationship and to be able to have a conversation with something bigger than you, whether that’s Allah, whether it’s God is Jesus, that’s Buddha, whoever that may be for you are just talking to nature, sitting in nature, at the beach, talking to the ocean, talking to trees, talking to the grass laying, we’re back down in a field somewhere and just speaking your truth, get it out, write it, speak it, you know, find people who can, will you feel are worthy of your truth, you know, maybe that’s not the starting five, maybe you just got the number one, if you pick one person and you just go a place, you’ve never gone with someone before. And the freedom that lives on the other side of that conversation, I can’t tell you how much is available there. And I feel such a sense of duty and responsibility to share this message and spread this message on every podcast, every TV show that I can, because you can’t experience this freedom that I have inside of me and not want to go all around the world and teach you know, it’s infectious.

Alex Beadon 37:27
I love enthusiasm. That’s awesome. Okay, so before we wrap up, there’s one thing I had to talk to had to talk to you about today. And it’s the topic that you brought up in your most recent video, you basically talked about how we have a tendency to fight so hard for our limitations, but not for our life. And you spoke about the importance of making space, making room for what it is that we want to bring in. And you kind of touched on it just now. But I’d love for you to just go a little bit more in depth with us on that.

JuVan Langford 38:02
Man, I could talk about this forever. I know. One of my favorite topics. Where do I begin? I’d say this, most of us are winning the losing game, for winning the losing game. And we’re not rooted in anything. So nothing’s growing. I’m gonna say that, again. Because we’re not rooted in anything. Nothing’s growing. And I think the content that I’m producing, you know, this human content, if you will, that I’m producing, is really getting people to understand that it’s not money that’s holding you back. It’s not even time that’s holding you back. And it’s not even relationships, not even the people around you that are holding you back. It’s the fact that you have been taking some time, and to be with you. And to be honest, exquisitely honest about where you are right now. But think of it like this, if you are on the corner of Maine and Fifth Ave. And you want to go wherever you call the Uber and you say, Hey, I’m on Main and eighth. The vehicle that’s intended to get you where you need to go, we’ll never arrived because you were honest about your current location. And some of our car locations aren’t pretty that’s why we can be honest about them. Broke, single, unemployed, depressed, that vocation is not so cute. So we’re not honest about that. But if you live amongst the willing, you will win. If you live amongst the will and you can be honest about where you are. Then you can begin to move things out of that space and you can create room because the only thing holding you back from stepping into entrepreneurship stepping into a relationship stepping into love stepping into the life that you desire, is that you don’t have space you don’t have room for these things. And the reason why we don’t have room is because we haven’t taken the time to be honest about where we are. And I think that’s been the biggest shift for me. And it’s the most challenging. It’ll be one of the most challenging moments of your life, to be honest about where you are. And to be honest about what you’re pretending not to know. I pretended not to know, a lot of things, you know, at the beginning of this journey that, you know that I, as far as you know, with money, I wasn’t introduced to money properly. You know, I grew up in a household, there wasn’t any money out, there wasn’t any money and money was the thing that you spent wasn’t thing that you save, it wasn’t a thing that we had. So I, when I got it, I got rid of it. I spent a lot of time realizing that I was not realizing what being honest, I wasn’t, I didn’t feel deserving of money. The money wasn’t coming, because I didn’t think I was worthy of it. And if you don’t think you’re worthy of it will come speak to money ill, it doesn’t find its way to you. And if you chase money, it’ll run. So it was like this. It was always missing me money was always missing it. I didn’t understand what they told me. I’m a phenomenal guy. And I’m, I’m present and I have this amazing dynamic of masculine feminine energy, and then I’m present in that, man, I love being around you. But where’s the money? Alex? Where’s the money? I shouldn’t be making money, like all these other guys will travel in the world. Where’s my money? Why why is it so hard? Why is it so challenging? And so when I was finally honest, and saying, Okay, I don’t think I’m worth that. And if somebody asked me how much I charge an hour, I wouldn’t know what that is. And if I did a weekend, I don’t think anybody would come. And I had to keep being honest. And I dove deeper into that. And I had some really uncomfortable conversations. And once I could be honest and say, Okay, well, what do I believe? Okay, what what is real? Okay, what do I know? And stepped into to this thing called personal responsibility, that thing that most of us dance on the threshold of? Right. And when I did that, so much shifted, that exquisite honesty has been such a, I owe so much to honesty, I owe so much to vulnerability. In fact, I joke and I say vulnerability pays my bills, in short does because I’ve just been willing to talk about things that most people most men would not. Yeah.

Alex Beadon 42:21
Oh, I love it. Okay, so to wrap up every podcast, I ask a few questions, I’m gonna ask you these questions. And I just think that was the perfect place to end it. Because I think people are gonna listen to that. And it’s going to wake them up and point them in the right direction. So I want to say thank you for that. Okay, so what is the one thing you do? And action step that you take? That has been a non negotiable in the success of your business?

JuVan Langford 42:48
That’s a good question. non negotiable. I’m a, I’m a result oriented guy. And whereas I live my life based on results, so when I set out to have 30 people in a room or a weekend, it happens, sometimes that looks like me gifting three tickets, but there’ll be 30 women or 30 men in that room. So being a man of my word is a non negotiable.

Alex Beadon 43:19
Share a mindset shift that made the biggest difference in your life as an entrepreneur.

JuVan Langford 43:26
I speak English, I speak Spanish fluently. Wow. Perhaps the best language that I’ve ever learned, is becoming fluent in Notability. And that’s the mindset shift is going in there anyways, talking about being raised in foster care, talking about sexual abuse, talking about my mother on drugs, talking about losing my dad, those are things if I could be quite frank, I don’t want to talk about things. I don’t want people to know, I’m a very private person. I’m not secretive, but I’m very private. And I am sharing those things. It’s humanized me, it’s authenticated. And people say two words that every entrepreneur really wants to hear me to JuVan mean to and it’s a connection point. And I’ve had so many incredible clients because of it by workshops, I fill one for confidence because of it. And its vulnerability has been one of the tools that I have. Always lead with, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Alex Beadon 44:23
I love it. Okay, fill in the blank, the world would be a better place if more people new

JuVan Langford 44:29
blank, got mentorship wasn’t the answer.

Alex Beadon 44:33
The book that changed my life was

JuVan Langford 44:36
all the places we will go by Dr. Seuss.

Alex Beadon 44:40
And lastly, I would love for you to challenge our audience to do one thing when they listen to this podcast. They’re going to have the rest of the week to think about it. What’s one action step that you would like for them to take?

JuVan Langford 44:58
Boy oh boy. So many of them in mind. Here’s the interesting challenge. I had a big challenge with self love. Much of my life, I hated myself up well into my 20s. And I was challenged to do this thing I’m gonna challenge everyone on whether you’re a man or woman to listen to this, I was challenged to every night when I showered or fuchsia or the morning to take five minutes to sit on the edge of my bed and to lotion my body from head to toe. And I thought that’s pretty corny. That’s wack. Guys don’t do that. I don’t even use lotion, I every excuse. But I did it for seven days. And I saw scars on my hands on my legs. I didn’t know that I had, I saw, you know, Birthmarks and I saw my hands for the first time on my feet, and my ankles and my knees and a mind body. I looked at my body for the first time ever really, you know, I played sports and I was in the gym. And I’ve been in the showers. And you know, I’ve been in the mirror plenty of times, I’ve modeled and develops things by never saw me, like me. And I grew to appreciate my body. And I was very aware of my posture and aware of my hand movements and my mannerisms because of that. And it helped me in ways that I I still don’t fully comprehend. But I grew this confidence within myself by learning how to be with myself. And I think if you don’t feel confident with your body, or you don’t know yourself, as well, as you’d like to, I think that’s a great exercise of just motioning your body from head to toe and just being with yourself. Just give yourself five minutes to be with yourself and laying your back and just be there naked, lay naked and just be with you.

Alex Beadon 46:47
I love that. JuVan. Thank you so much. This was an epic podcast.

JuVan Langford 46:52
Alex, this is a pleasure. And I really appreciate you for having me on. And I just want to thank you for giving me an opportunity to spread my message and my story. And for continue to go through this experience over and over and over again, I know the work it takes to do exactly what you’re doing. And I know that it’s not always easy. So I appreciate you for giving myself and people like me a platform to be able to spread their message because I’m extremely committed to it. And anybody who does come across this message and would love to have another conversation, they can head on over to jump on and check me out and schedule a 15 minute Skype session jam session to talk perhaps I can support you in some capacity in your personal professional life. And follow my journey and photos on Instagram would love to connect and support you I just want to say that those who have a strong will will always win those who will win. Just want to end on that note.

Alex Beadon 47:46
Thank you so much for tuning into the on purpose podcast and I really hope that you had as much of a blast as we did. If you liked what you heard and want even more, make sure you leave a review because it really helps support what I do here on the podcast. All you have to do is search the podcast app for the on purpose podcast, select it then scroll down until you see write a review and then type away. I hope you really enjoy your week and I will see you guys again next time stay on purpose.

#002 – Shannon Boodram on Growing Her YouTube Channel, Being A Sexologist and more …

Let’s face it. You know it, I know it: sex sells. But improving people’s sex lives is ten times more fulfilling—at least that’s what we know about our next guest.

Let’s get close with Shannon Boodram, a “Martha Stewart for Intimacy” whose YouTube videos have earned her millions of views, and a loyal following well over 350k on YouTube.

But it didn’t just happen overnight…

“Momentum is not doing one thing great and then everything is good…for most people momentum is like—you have to get really close to see it. It’s happening at a microscopic level. It’s slow but it is happening.”

Learn what makes her tick, finding true love within yourself and your business, and the nitty gritty truth behind getting your life on purpose.

In this Podcast you’ll learn:

  • How Shannon gained 100,000 YouTube subscribers in six months
  • How she dealt with the shame of having low numbers when she first started on YouTube
  • How Shannon discovered her life’s true passion of intimacy
  • How she overcame the industry shaming her for being a sexologist
  • Why she shies away from the word entrepreneur
  • What self care means to Shannon
  • And lots more
Binge on dat Boody!

IG: @Shanboody
YouTube: Shan Boody
Facebook: Shan Boody
Twitter: @ShanBoody

Loved this and want more? Check out our other episodes here.

Spark a conversation! Leave a comment below or say hello @alexbeadon on Instagram.

Transcript Available Below

Alex Beadon 0:02
Do you ever feel like you’re trying to balance it all, nourishing your health while growing your business and living a life well lived. And no matter how hard you try, sometimes you slip from purpose driven into autopilot. Take a deep breath, relax, and let’s get you back to where you belong on purpose

Welcome to on purpose, the podcast that helps you align your life energy with business strategy. This is your co host, Alex Beadon. Here checking in, are you ready to live your life on purpose. Today we’re going to be speaking to one of my favorite YouTubers of all time, the one the only Shannon booty. In this podcast, you will learn how Shannon gained 100,000 YouTube subscribers in six months, we’re going to talk about how she dealt with the shame of having low numbers. When she first got started on YouTube. We’ll talk about how she discovered her life’s true passion of intimacy and so much more. Now listen, before we dive into this amazing interview, I just want to let you know friendly reminder that when you’re done listening, please don’t forget to leave a review. We have a mission to reach 100 podcast reviews within our first week of launching the on purpose podcast. And that can only happen with your support. So if you really enjoy the podcast, please return the favor search for the on purpose podcast in your podcast app, scroll down and click write a review. It would seriously mean the world to me for now. Let’s dive into today’s episode. Hi, Shannon, welcome to my show.

Shannon Boodram 2:00
Hi, Alex. Thank you for having me. It’s been a long time coming.

Alex Beadon 2:03
Oh, I know. I’m so excited to have you here. And I was trying to think today back to when it was that I first found you and I can’t for the life of me remember where it was. But I know I’ve been following you for years. I absolutely love your YouTube channel. You’re up to such epic things in the world. So I just want to say thanks so much for coming on the show.

Shannon Boodram 2:24
Thank you for having me. And thank you for all of your support. You’re one of the people whose name I saw it. I’m like, Oh my gosh, she’s stunning. Who is this? And I just always, you’ve always stood out to me. So I have never not noticed you. So whenever you came on board is probably the next day. I was like Alex is my homie.

Alex Beadon 2:40
Awesome. So let’s get this interview started. So my first question for you is, what do you find most nourishing about your career?

Shannon Boodram 2:48
how different it is how challenging it is constantly, like I’m working on the show right now for Facebook called makeup or breakup. And I only honestly love about that show is how hard it is every single week and how there’s different things are thrown at us and all these new components. And it’s a bizarre thing because I used to really hate being nervous. And I’m like, because I grew up running track and field and I was constantly nervous for every meet. And now I still have those nerves. But I almost love it. Because it’s a reminder to myself that I’m doing something outside of my comfort zone that I’m always growing and stretching and expanding my database of skill sets. So I love that my job is hard and hard is relative though I’m not in a coal mine. I am not saving lives, but just challenging mentally. Yeah,

Alex Beadon 3:31
I think that’s something that I’ve always loved about you. And something that has always drawn me to you is the fact that you always seem to want to be the best version of yourself, you’re really into challenging yourself and doing things that are going to make you a better person and that are what you do. And also you’re someone who I’ve always looked at and it feels as though your purpose has always been very aligned with your career. So I would love to hear you talk a little bit about that about your purpose and doing choosing to do things in your career that gets you closer to that.

Shannon Boodram 4:10
Yeah, and I think this is a story that my boyfriend hates to hear me tell because i You always share the story but just like it’s one of those things that I honestly believe that I knew I was meant to do intimacy and relationships and sexuality from like the age of five. I remember that my Barbies were constantly banned from being naked. I remember my first consensual sexual experience at like four or five years old and it wasn’t touching each other. It was just like, showing physical acts of like desire towards our pillows, and she went told her parents either in trouble my Barbies are banned from being naked and like a lot of my life I went to a Catholic school, like my natural curiosity for sexuality and intimacy was suppressed. So a good friend of mine, Melanie Fiona said that we often feel like we have to move forward in life that we’re moving towards our passion moving towards Finding our desire, and she’s like, I think it’s actually healthy to think about it like you’re looking back, you’re trying to find that original thing that you were drawn to that maybe you were scared away from, or maybe through a counselor, or parents, somebody told you, you know, you shouldn’t be doing that. And for me, it’s always been intimacy, I’ve always had a desire for that. So I look at my passion as not finding it, but really just going back and getting it.

Alex Beadon 5:23
Yeah. And what’s also really interesting about your story is that the passion that you’ve always had, since you’re a little girl, is something that is quite taboo and something that a lot of people frown upon, and is not to be spoken about, especially as a woman. And so I’d love to hear you talk about the struggles that you had in really stepping into this as a career for you. Because I can only imagine that must have been incredibly difficult. And even so because of the fact that it’s a taboo topic.

Shannon Boodram 5:58
Exactly, I think you’ve hit all the right nails on the head for that. And I’m very patient with people in regards to where they’re at with their comfort level with sexuality, because I feel like I’ve experienced all of them myself. So I’m never like, come on three more liberated because I looked back at, you know, 25 year old Shannon, whose book just came out, but had this still shame. You know, I had this book out in stores, I remember trying to convince them like, Please don’t call it laid, let’s call it something else. Let’s call it something softer, like, just because I was ashamed to have this book that was so obviously about sex. And it definitely took a long time, the very first time I told my parents about what I was doing. Mind you, I did it in like a sneaky way I was writing my book laid. And I really needed to collect stories, because laid was all about like, let’s all educate each one, teach one. But let’s do it in an interesting way by sharing our experiences so others can learn vicariously. And so I had to tell my story in order to collect other stories. So I put the story online, of how I lost my virginity. And it wasn’t, you know, a cautionary tale tale story. It was just, it was like exactly how I would tell a best friend, now my internet experience and end up being great. But I described the sex I describe the feelings that I have this person I described the second time that we had sex the next day. And so I sent this story and this website to my parents and said, This is what I’m doing while they were on vacation. And my mom came back like four days later, still equally as angry, I’m sure as when she first read it, and her reaction was like, boys are going to be laughing and masturbating at you, they’re going to be in groups, just reading your story and laughing and masturbating. I was like, you’ve obviously never hung out with dudes before one. But number two, like that was like the base fear that everybody would just abuse me and think down upon me and look at me as a porn star. And, you know, I carried bits of those. And obviously, that place of fear was at a place of protection. She just didn’t want to see me exact like marginalized or abused in that way. And it definitely did take me a while. And so once my at 19, I was really proud. And then around 20 to 23, when I was talking about it in college, because I went to school for journalism, I felt the shame from them when they told me that like, maybe you should change the topic that you’re writing about. Or there’s oftentimes they would say, Hey, you can’t promote your website, which was the one looking for stories. And then my book finally came out again, I was like trying to change the title to make it softer. And then after late and I finished promoting that I went to University of Toronto got my sex education counselor certification, I was working in the offices there. And about a year after that when the book died down there with all the hype died down, I was kind of like, maybe I just want to be a feminist writer, maybe I want to be a musical writer, I don’t know if I want to be a sex education writer. And so I shied away from that place for some time. And I joined this website called those girls are wild. And it was just doing general female empowerment. And it was a good time in my life. But it was, you know, kind of a last vague time. And it wasn’t until I moved to California within 2014 that I really, really embraced the role, went back to school and said, No, this is what I do for a living. No, this is what I talk about. And even in those past four years of doing that, and reclaiming this space, there’s definitely been some hiccups for me where I have felt that creep up of shame. So it’s a constant battle inside of myself. So I can only imagine people who don’t devote themselves to this topic area, how it must be a struggle for them.

Alex Beadon 9:20
And even I remember and I can’t remember the details. I remember I watched one of your videos, and you were saying how an opportunity came up. And then basically, they gave you the job found out about your YouTube channel online, and then pretty much took it back and they were like, well, you know, we can have someone who’s talking about these things representing us. How do you deal with that? Like, how do you find it inside of you to be like, I know that this is what I’m here to do and that and that this work is good and also like, because there must be a lot of self doubt and like second guessing yourself like Well, are they right? You know what I mean?

Shannon Boodram 9:58
Absolutely. And at that time I’m the because it was like they were offering $10,000. And at the time, that would have been the world to me like that would have made a massive difference between struggling to put together rent struggling to survive, and like being okay for a few months. And so it wasn’t like a job that I was like, oh, whatever I just missed out on it, it really, really did crush me. And I’m so proud of myself, like looking back with all these little moments. I’m like, I wish I could just hug you and say thank you. And I wish when I was two, three days ago, we me and my partner were walking on Sunset Boulevard. And when I first moved to LA, I moved with nothing, no job, nowhere to live. And like no idea how I was going to make it in this town. And we stayed at this place called like, the Comfort Inn, or the it was called the American inn or something. It was some motel. And I was walking every day to this restaurant called Tender Greens. And I was walking down the street a few days ago. And I’m like, I wish I could pass my past self and like, Just tell her on the way like, you’ll be fine. I wish I could just like give her a quick hug or like whisper in her ear. Like, don’t feel afraid right now, I know you’re afraid. And this is a hard thing to do. But like you’re going to it’s going to work out okay for you. But I’m just I don’t know, I’m an awesome times. And I was able to push through and even now like I I’m really good. I’m a very good stage host. I’m very good at presenting, I went to school for journalism. So I understand storytelling, I really could do PR, there’s a lot of great bass tools I think I have which makes me really good at my job as a sexual speaker and amplifier for a message. And I hosted this event last week called we gather and it was like a feminist event. And it wasn’t about sexuality. And then afterwards, producer came up to me and said, No, you really could do other stuff, you really could do other hosting. And I was like, Man, I know, I don’t want to do this. I don’t mind doing these as one offs. But I don’t want to skew my career towards being a general when I have a niche that I’m really passionate about. And now I can say that because I’m doing fine in this industry. But I think that that that took a while just to really be like, No, it’s okay, I’ll lose other jobs. I’ll say no to other things. I know where my lane is. And I’m really, really happy swimming there.

Alex Beadon 12:08
So what would you say your mission is? Or your purposes? Like, what is it that you’re trying to achieve in this lifetime, with all of the things that you’re doing and creating?

Shannon Boodram 12:18
I mean, I see it all the time in my comments. It’s just people who say things like you changed my sex life or my perspective on relationships, or because of you like I’ve gotten out of bad relationships and where I was two years ago in terms of intimacy is nowhere compared to where I am now. And even people who are like this one person tweeted, didn’t follow me. But there’s one person tweeted, I think the relationship expert sex expert role is bullshit. And the girl tweeted back to her, Do you know who Shan booty is like, you should watch this stuff. It’s not bullshit. Like, you won’t be able to help but look at your life and your romantic life in a scientific way after watching her videos, and that’s what I really want. I want for people to be like, Okay, hang on, how do I actually get good at intimacy? Because I don’t think that we often are, have the thought process that we have to get good. Most people think we just fall into it. And I actually had an experience the other day where this I went out for dinner with this girl and she was telling me her love life woes and the drama she was going through. And she was like, I don’t know why. But I fell in love with my friends would benefits. And I was like, I do know why it’s there’s a biological link that happens when people have sex together. If you’re not aware of that. It’s kind of like being like, I fell in love with pizza. And I’m not sure why. Like, there’s clear reasons why we are attracted to certain things that we interact with on a consistent basis. If you fall in love with cigarettes, you wouldn’t be like, I have no idea why I’m addicted, we have an understanding of the chemical bond that’s happening. But when it comes to love and romance, we have no clue. And so I was trying to explain to her and she was like, Oh, well, you know, I don’t like like to learn about that stuff. I just prefer to experience it. I’m like, Okay, we’ll be miserable. Like, it’s just somebody who just like, No, I don’t really want to learn. And so the people who do and who are nerds about it and want it to be a really, really powerful and controlled part of their life. Like just I think the same way with diet, there’s some people who don’t want to learn and just wanting to be like, whatever, I just eat what I want, which may work for you. But I think it’s much more empowering and magical to me to come from a position of knowledge, and to come from a position of self awareness. And so that’s what I really want for people is to have that same confidence that I know what’s going on. And I know how to make the right decisions for myself.

Alex Beadon 14:26
Yeah. So for me looking at your YouTube channel, it’s just so interesting to hear you say like, you know, what, you what is your purpose because from my perspective, I look at it and I’m like, here’s this woman who is so intelligent and so well spoken, and you speak about this subject sex and relationships and love and all that jazz, in a way that like when I tell people about your channel, they kind of give me this weird look like why would I want to look at that because they think it’s gonna be this trashy, like, you know what I mean? Like this just negative space that It is trashy because I think that’s what people’s idea of anything related to sex would be. And I’m like, no, she does it in such an educational way. And in such, just such an empowering way. And I feel like it’s so interesting to me because this is a subject that I feel like, needs a voice hasn’t been able to have a voice throughout the history of time. And now with the internet, people like you are able to come out and be like, Okay, I love this. I want to talk about it. I want to shine a light on it. And I think it’s just so empowering to see someone be like, it doesn’t have to be trashy doesn’t have to be the shameful thing. Like everyone does it everyone experiences it. So I just think it’s so beautiful, what you do.

Shannon Boodram 15:42
Thank you so much. It’s so loving. And it’s one of those things that I love. Because at this point, I have over 200 videos. So whenever someone says to me, I watched one of your videos, I just hold my breath to see like which one because there’s there are trashing ones that I’m really proud of, actually, and there are silly ones and there are hair ones like and so now this one, like whatever video you are drawn to, I mean to me says more about you and your interest and does about me. So my mom, for example, said that a doctor, she told one of her doctor friends that like oh, my daughter does this thing talks about sex and it’s obviously her channel. And the next day he approached you like, Oh, I saw one of her videos. Gemma, which one do you watch? It’s something about sexual private dancing. And, you know, he’s a good passing judgment. But as a mom, I don’t feel a way like there was 200 videos. This video he clicked on. Like of all the titles that he saw, that is the one that man was like, I’m gonna watch this one. So that says more about you than me. If that’s what you were drawn to then like so be it. That’s what I put it out there for my sexuality and I think it’s like a proud part of it. And if you watch the makeup video, great if you watch the pre come one on one video, or what does birth control do in the body? Or if you watch like, what is your love language, it doesn’t matter to me at this point, all the information is there, whatever your entry point is, I’m just glad people showed up.

Alex Beadon 16:56
It’s interesting to hear you say I have trashy videos, and I’m proud of them. Because to me, I look at all of those videos. And I’m like, I still think they’re all incredibly tastefully done. You know, like, I don’t look at any of them and think like, oh, like that’s, I don’t know. So it’s just, it’s interesting to hear you say that. And you’re right, like people are gonna watch it and take whatever it is that they take from it. But I just love that, like you own it. And it’s out there and you love it. And it’s just, it’s awesome. So I love it. Thank you. My next question for you is so I look at you as someone who’s really just gone all in, in building your personal brand, and then really figuring out how to create revenue streams from there, like how are you going to make money? But you’re always building your personal brand. I think that’s really like the core of what it is that you do. So I’m curious, would you describe yourself as an entrepreneur? Or would you say that you have your own business? Or how would you describe what it is that you do?

Shannon Boodram 17:55
I don’t know. I mean, like to describe myself as like Martha Stewart for intimacy, because I think there’s a lot of media personalities like who do what I do, like there’s Joe Rogan. And there’s Rachel Roy, who attach themselves to a lifestyle to a brand to an idea. And then they spread out on many different mediums and platforms to create a living for themselves. So Martha Stewart, for example, when you think of DIY and home decor, or maybe cooking, you think of her name and the top five. And when you do think of Martha Stewart, there’s many ways to interact with her, whether that’s buying her sheets at Kmart or it’s going through a website or purchasing her book or watching her showing VH one you’re seeing her on Comedy Central like but all that she does kind of relates back she never even when she was on Comedy Central the roast, she plugged her sheets. So I think that that type of monoculture that’s diversified in many different mediums is how I envision my career going. Is that person entrepreneur? Yeah, of course. I mean this. I answered that question as I was saying it. So yes, I do. I guess because I’m not really selling an item right now. And that’s one of the things I think I have to definitely work on. Because there’s some people who do it like Matthew Hussey, who’s a dating expert, there’s a formula that you should take if you’re going to be a digital personality, which is like, you sell seminars or you sell ebooks, and then you do this thing where you collect emails, and you give out a free gift. And then you mail them every two days. Like there’s a system in place to do it that like I don’t feel that I do particularly amazing. So I guess I shy away from the term entrepreneur because I’m not a well oiled business. But I work so yeah, I work a lot.

Alex Beadon 19:34
So it’s interesting to me to hear you say all of that, because I’ve always kind of wondered because I’m in that space like why you never ventured into that space. And then But then I see what you’re doing and you seem to be doing just fine like in your own way because I see you’re doing like sponsorships brand collaborations like you have your YouTube channel. I know you’re selling your necklace you’ve got sometimes I see you’re offering one on one coaching. You did the full screen series. Now you’ve got the Facebook show make up or break up. So like I see you doing lots of different things. And I’m curious about like, is there a strategy behind what you do? Do you ever Are you like sitting down and being like, okay, like, I need to find this project this project, like, how do you go about finding these opportunities for yourself? And what is the process for you behind being like, Okay, I need to make some money right now, what am I going to do to make it happen? Because really, and correct me if I’m wrong, it is in your hands. Right?

Shannon Boodram 20:27
Yeah, I mean, a wish. And that’s, you know, these are honestly great questions that I wish that there was like a long term strategy, I honestly feel vary day to day. And that can be problematic, because when things have momentum, I did a video once about kicking the ball and like momentum. And so if I’m in videos, yeah, and I’ve come into learning, there’s a lot in life that points back to us in there’s a lot in life that points back to us. And so it’s a catch 22. Because I do do things like YouTube, which is constantly putting out work and putting out energy into the world. Even social media is putting out energy into the world. I do my consistent one on one counseling services every single week. So I do have some consistent stuff that I work on. But no, I mean, am I creating an email database on YouTube going about from that perspective, and ensuring that even if I get no more jobs, no more opportunities, I’ve still collected, you know, 5000, like mines, that that, for me is always my base. I think that that’s a lesson I’d probably give to somebody when someone ever talks to me about wanting to build a brand or something similar to mine. I’m like, start with the business first, and then add the creative on top. Because I’m somebody who started with creative first and then was like, oh, yeah, I kind of have to make money off this. What’s that business thing. And it’s easy now. Because brand deals come to me and I’m an one of the known names in the space. And so if you’re a company who’s selling organic tampons, you’re gonna be like, Okay, let’s sell to these five, help these five influencers out or ask them to help us. But when I’m no longer in that space, or there’s new names that come up, and I’m going to have to find a way to reinvent. So that I think is the advice I would give to any person who’s in that sort of left right brain. That’s where we exist. We’re creatives, but we’re also business people start with the business first and add the creative on top. And even if you’re only having a business that’s structured around 10 People who are your audience, I mean, if that grows, you’re always going to have that base versus for me, it’s this massive catch up game. But it’s going well now, but this is a story of everybody, right? They’re doing really, really well. When they’re hot, they’re hot, and then when it’s over, they have nothing to fall back on. So I’m trying to work backwards, but that doesn’t happen to me. Right?

Alex Beadon 22:32
That’s super interesting. So do you have a team that you work with?

Shannon Boodram 22:36
It’s like I get asked, asked about bah, bah, bah. I actually like asked this question like two days ago, and I was kind of like reluctant. I do and I don’t, I have a very big management umbrella. Like there’s a lot of people in the sham booty. Percentage cut. I mean, I have a manager. I have an agency. I have a lawyer. I have a PR person. But Is anyone doing the day to day work? No.

Alex Beadon 23:03
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Shannon Boodram 23:50
Is anybody helping out with Creatives or writing stuff for me? Or working on treatments with me? Or really even for PR? Are they doing like my daily pitches or coming up with different stuff? No. They’re there for like to secure opportunities or to find things that are to catch things, I guess that it would be out of my scope. But the daily work? No, I It’s all me. That’s really

Alex Beadon 24:11
cool. Okay, so we’re gonna move into talking about YouTube now because I’m really curious to just pick your brain on what it’s like being a YouTuber. As of right now, I just checked you have 294,000 YouTube subscribers. So you’re like creeping up to that 300,000 mark, which is definitely a huge accomplishment, some accomplishment and something to be very, very proud of. But you started making YouTube videos four years ago, I think or at least that’s when your first video that I could possibly find was but I know that you had you were kind of playing around with it before your current channel. So tell us a little bit about your YouTube journey.

Shannon Boodram 24:47
Yes. And so in 2009, my book lead came out and I had no way to promote that I had no audience. I just I didn’t know how you’re supposed to launch at a publishing company. And I was under the impression that they would do it all but I think the more that you grow into these spaces, you realize, like nobody can do a lot of these jobs in terms of promoting yourself better than you. And so I started a website with a friend of mine who was on Degrassi who had a big following, which was a massive help for me, because she already had a name. And so it allowed me to create a space that was familiar to people. And I pushed my book through that we parted ways in 2011. And in 2012, I started my new my new YouTube channel, but I didn’t post on it at all. And it was kind of like a place of like feeling, because I suppose in the early wave of YouTube, where people weren’t really making a career out of it, and I’m like, What’s the point of me doing this, I might as well put all my attention on traditional media. And that’s what I did from 2012 to 2015. I only use YouTube, if you look back at like the videos I posted, they were mostly like, if I was on a TV segment, I would dump it over there. You know, if I had and the videos came up, like once every six months, or once every three months, maybe I’d post out for one month, and then I’d stopped for seven or eight. And I was really focused on trying to find a TV job that wouldn’t really allow me again, to get myself in that Martha Stewart space. And I did four pilots in LA, back to back for pilots neck, I don’t mean back to back, because how pilots work is that you shoot something you get locked up in this deal when they decide to decide if they want to pick it up or not. That means like you get one paycheck for six months. And then they say no, and then you’re back scrambling for another thing. And so I was like, basically caught up in these contracts for six months at a time. And the fourth one that happened was his MTV show, it was called unprotected text. It just felt really great to me, I knew it would be the one I’m like, this is the reason why this is why all my struggles happen. This all makes sense. Like this job was meant to save me and this will be my story. And short, and I had the worst year that year two was the most horrific year probably experienced in my life in 2015. And when that show also didn’t get picked up, I was like, what now? Like, what is my story, you know, when, and that’s one of my favorite quotes is you cannot connect the dots looking forward. And I had a really big habit of doing that. I’d be like, Oh, this goes here that goes there. And then it turns into a star and then I’m successful and life is great. And then when that doesn’t happen or come to fruition, you’re like, left devastated. And that’s where I was, and just had this thought immediately after like, how about YouTube? How about a space where the content that I put out actually get seen by people? How about a space where I’m in control how but I actually try there. And it was very difficult to try again in 2015. Because at that time, one of my friends Shameless Maya, for example, was killing it. I had a bunch of other YouTube people that I knew from over the years, or industry, people who had millions of followers or hundreds of 1000s. And so for me to start back up and make videos that were getting 1200 views, 400 views, like it was kind of embarrassing. It was a really difficult start. And I talked about this one of my videos how I bought views at that time, because I just I wouldn’t, I was so embarrassed to share, Oh, watch this video and one of my friends who like had a following to go click on it and be like, Oh, my God, she’s only getting 300 views right now. And that helped me a lot though, too, because in the first six months that I was starting YouTube, again, I was so hungry to get out of that space. I was such a hustler. And I gained 100,000 subscribers in six months, because I leveraged all of the people that I knew who had a following. And I was like, let’s collab. And I just moved and hustled, and like there’s a few times in my life, I look back, and I’m like, I’m really proud of you like writing my book was definitely one of them. And restarting YouTube, again, is another time that I’m like, I really, really, you know, did something wonderful. And I almost wish I could get back to that space. But mind you, I’ve kind of like, tapped out all my contacts, I gotta find new ones. But YouTube definitely is a wonderful vehicle. It’s a great way to teach yourself, it’s still a great way to challenge yourself. And you have to be in all positions, you got a program director, you are the marketer, you are the HR, you are the publicist, you are the camera person, the lighter the sound engineer, there’s so much learning that you can do if you want to get great at it, there’s a really great opportunity to experience a massive amount of self growth in this industry in a short span of time. I don’t know if it’s the hard thing about YouTube going forward for me is that it’s the one space that doesn’t grow with everything else. And so if you are not dedicating yourself to YouTube, YouTube does not love you. And it doesn’t matter if like no, I’m actually working on this really great show now or I got this podcasting deal or I’m writing a book right now like guys stick around, they’re like, Well, no, you’re not posting you know, every Tuesday that challenge video so we hate you. So that’s the hard thing about it is that you can’t It’s its own separate business model, which I’m trying to navigate how to balance that now as my life gets busier, but I never really want to like turn my back on YouTube again. So I’m trying to find a way to make that balance happen because again, I do really value that space.

Alex Beadon 29:52
Yeah, for sure. And how would you say that it has definitely been a vital part of it. You’re getting

Shannon Boodram 30:00

Alex Beadon 30:02
in your career from YouTube.

Shannon Boodram 30:04
Oh, girl 100,000% I 100,000% YouTube. And I think again, especially if you’re telling a unique story, I mean, if you’re telling a story of beauty or inspiration or a typical human interest story, I think there may be other ways, but because I’m telling the story of intimacy and sexuality, and there is so much curiosity of how I’m gonna tell that story, or what I’m going to say, I think YouTube really allowed me to shape and shape people’s understanding and get them comfortable with the brand. And I’ve gotten a lot of brand deals from companies who normally wouldn’t work in the sex, sex space, or the sex education space, I think because of my YouTube channel and getting comfortable with the way I deliver. So I don’t think without that, I could have gotten probably, you know, it is a launching pad for everything. And where I’m at right now, in my career, it is, it’s a launching pad. So I have I owe so much. So, so, so much to YouTube.

Alex Beadon 31:00
Yeah, it’s amazing to me. So I’ve been doing YouTube for like, I don’t know, five years. And to be honest with you, I’ve always just used it as a place to host my videos, like, I’ve never really used it as like, Oh, I’m gonna focus on like growing my audience here. It’s really just been a place where I put my videos so that I can then embed them into my blog. And what ended up happening is that so many people were finding me through YouTube, keep in mind, my audience is super small. So I just hit 30,000 subscribers, yay, congratulations, thank you. But I feel like for me,

Shannon Boodram 31:34
bigger, crazy world we live in that we say just 30,000 I know, it’s a lot of

Alex Beadon 31:39
people. But what I always tell people just 30,000 Because I’m like, there are people who have millions and millions and millions. But I think for what what I do, because it’s so niche, like, I will never be someone who has, you know, millions of subscribers, because what I do doesn’t appeal to everyone. But yet, I still find so much value from creating content, number one, because I feel like it allows me to, or at least when I first started, it really allowed me to find my voice, you know, and really learn who I am. What it is that makes me special and different and how I relate to my audience. And I think it really helped me find my people. And so I can’t remember where I heard this somewhere. In one of your videos, you were basically talking about the difference between the people who follow you, maybe on YouTube, especially in the early days, like your core audience, and then the people who you might who might find you through doing something like I know you did that show on the view, who you know, they’re not your people, they’re not your audience. So I’d love for you to talk to us a little bit about the difference between the audience that you find on YouTube and the audience that you find elsewhere. Yeah,

Shannon Boodram 32:49
I mean, it’s getting harder and harder to kind of decipher. I do know in particular times, like, my core audience is you my core audience are people who have an active interest in learning about intimacy relationships are just in building connections with people and who are like, I want this content. And they come from many different places. I think the outside audience with people who don’t want that, but somehow stumble upon me. So for example, I did a collab via with the Hodgetwins, which has done really well for me, it’s like, like 400,000 plus views, but their audience I honestly, I love the Hodgetwins they’re really really cool guys, but have you ever watched Handmaid’s Tale? Their audience are like I don’t, they’re just, they are those people who would if they had the chance, put women back in the 1800s. They are sexist, they are nasty. They are just like, I don’t just racist, bigoted, just awful people. And I always know whenever that video for whatever reason hits a spike in views, because I’ll just get a wave of abusive comments all across my channels. And it always sources back to like, oh, there’s a lot of comments happening on this videos, they’re hopping over to other stuff, and they’re just spreading. And it’s difficult, like the view was a really good a great example, again, because I can get very accustomed to talking to you talking to people who understand and who are open minded and who want to learn and who have a certain level of respect. And it’s great, but there are people who have spent a very long time repressing and building up a wall, there are people who have done a lot of work to create a negative narrative in their mind. And when someone comes challenge that they just approach that like attack. And I have to come to expect that because it’s a very sensitive area that I’m talking about that people have beliefs they have had for generations sometimes. And it’s not up to me in one video to change their mind. But that video is there for them as well to it is there for them to see a new perspective, even if they reject it right away or call me all the names in the book or meet me with so much aggression. I have to hope that a maybe a bit of that seeps into their psyche and starts a small you know, spur of change but it that’s the part of putting yourself out there Yes, you, you can’t just want your audience, you can, you know, I think your audience should be 70% Your people because otherwise, I see some people who their platform is mostly negative and mostly attacking and like, Oh, it’s too much for your soul. But it is you do have to get the other people who don’t want you who don’t want your message and who don’t like what you have to say, because that’s who needs to hear what you have to say. And that’s, that’s been something that I struggle with, because I’m definitely a I’m not like one of those, like, take it on the chin kind of people. I’m very aggressive myself. And so you’ll see me like fighting in the comments. And my partner is somebody who is constantly being like, can you stop commenting back and do not do that? Or just block them? Why are you putting this energy out there? But I’m like, No, in real life, you could never talk to me without getting a debate out of me, you could never do that. And I think one thing I learned from the view, it’s a version again, it’s like one of those versions of myself that I’m like, I’m so proud of you because like that’s not the everyday me. That’s the thing too, is that there’s a lot of parts that I’m like, There’s sometimes I do shitty things like, Oh, that’s not a true reflection of me. And there’s sometimes I do great things. I’m like, That is not who I am most of the time. So I think it’s it comes with both, like knowing that, like, I’m not my best self, I’m not my worst self. I’m somewhere in between. But I watched myself on the view and the way that I handled their negativity. I’m like, I wish I could do that all the time. Because it was with grace. And it was with understanding and it was understanding that they’re attacking from a personal place. And if I was more accepting that they were willing to mirror that slightly towards the end. And so that’s going forward how I like to address people, but for sure, I’m just as likely to call them a basement dwelling loser.

Alex Beadon 36:41
I love it. So how do you feel about being an influencer? I think, you know, you’ve been in this space for a long time, I’ve been using social media for a long time as well, way before, like being a YouTuber was ever a thing. And so for me, I’ve looked at how social media has come and I feel like it was a really sweet place. And now it has kind of turned into this hit or miss place where I’m I’m just seeing so many people use it for great things like you, I look at you. And I’m like, Yes, like you’re, you’re moving forward, you’re moving towards a purpose. And then I see other people and sometimes I’m just like, okay, but like, is this ego driven? Like, what’s the part? Like, there’s a depth, you know, so I’m curious about your thoughts on the landscape of being an influenza?

Shannon Boodram 37:25
I like it, I think that yeah, to your point, like the word kind of gets like wrapped up in flat tummy tea and hair vitamins, which I just did, actually recently. So I don’t know, I think I like it. It’s a beautiful word. It’s a really, really, if you just break it down into very honoring word. I used to do background in movies. And that’s what we were called background like, you know, like background onset. And that’s not a nice title. And when you break it down for what that means, it means like, you’re just you’re just in the background, like, we don’t want to see you, you we don’t want to experience you like, we don’t want to hear you for sure. Like we just want you to be somewhere behind. And the term influencer is really, really nice. So I mean, I feel all the things that you feel about it, but I’ve kind of come to sort of enjoy it in a way for what it is, even though it can feel a bit fruity. I don’t think it is for me, but it can feel that way. Yeah. Um,

Alex Beadon 38:18
so my next question for you is your video. My career is not a fairy tale for anyone listening. That video, I think is my favorite video that you’ve ever done, Michael, wow, not a fairy tale, I just absolutely loved how you showed up. And you were so honest. And basically, the premise of the video was that, you know, you’re not always experiencing all of the highs in your career that you wish you were experiencing. And you kind of spoke about, you know, what it really means to be successful. And you had this great analogy of like the waves and how there’s big waves and small waves. And so I would love for you to talk a little on that. Because I know there’s so many people who are dealing with rejection and who feel very discouraged that their business isn’t going the way that they wanted it to go. Their career is not going the way they wanted it to go. And I think a lot of people just give up. And what I love about you is that you always find the beauty in Okay, yeah, things aren’t going the way I want them to go. But like, I’m going to figure it out. And I’m just going to keep moving forward and kicking the ball. So talk to us a little bit about that.

Shannon Boodram 39:24
Yeah, I also think that that’s a part of our job is you have to constantly create a storyline, a narrative, and if there’s nothing happening for you, that’s something to talk about. And that’s a beautiful space about YouTube where it encourages that kind of honesty. And so there should always be something you can create whenever you’re stumped for like I have nothing to say nothing to contribute, that’s what you have to contribute. And so I think when I go to those videos, like you know, Does God hate me and I have a bunch of them that are kind of like that, that are you know how to get naked and when they’re all coming from a space of like, nothing is going good. So like let’s talk about that. Nothing is And that’s a big part of the career that we’re in. Like right now. I am on the show I’m on Facebook’s makeup or breakup. It’s my first series I’ve done so many pilots are so many one off projects, or short term, I worked for MTV as guide to series last year, which again was it was great or full screen, of course. But there’s short term series of like a month, and you shoot and it’s over. Whereas in this show is my first like, six month job like I’ve never had that before. I’m I’m on it from September to February. So for this next six months, I don’t have to feel that sense of like, what’s next, or what am I doing. But in February, I’m very likely to be like, now what because what happens is when we’re working in, we’re on projects, and we’re being productive, we feel really great and energized. But it’s not as if we are, I don’t even know Julia Roberts, where we come off one set and go to the next, if you try to book Will Smith, he’s booked for the next three years. And that’s not the truth. For most creatives, most creatives, you have these really quick spurts. And it’s like I used the analogy of kicking a ball that you’re trying to get to the other side of the field, that you just want that ball to keep rolling, because you’re carrying so much, and it’s very, very exhausting for you. And so you kick the ball and you watch it roll you like, yes, it’s gonna make the other side. And then it stops. And you’d have to pick up all of your stuff, including your pride, your baggage is your home, whatever your relationship, walk towards that ball again, and kick it again. And then you hoping it’s gonna roll this time, but it only goes one more foot, and you got to do the whole thing all over again. And that’s exhausting. But that’s a part of the work that we do. And I was saying to my friend, Ari, one of the things that I kind of realized about life in general is that we’re expecting to have these great years, and we’re expecting to have these great careers and like is really, you know, our 20s to be amazing. I’m like, it doesn’t work that way. You start off having good days, or good day. I’ve had an act 2012 I had one incredible day that year where I was booked on set, I shot this pilot for one day, it was magical. And the rest of the year sucked. No, not subdue. Of course I wasn’t, it was great. I was healthy, everything’s great. But I just mean, in terms of my career, nothing else happened. And the following year, maybe I had one good week, one good week that like of the 52 of the year that I actually felt like I was in my purpose. And then the following year after that, maybe I had three weeks, and then it was a month. And then maybe I had one good quarter. Last year, I had a good six months. And then six months, I was like, What am I doing? How am I making money? What’s my purpose. And this year, I’ve kind of had a good nine months, you know, it’s been a really full situation. Now next year, I can go back to one day, who knows how it goes. But hopefully I’m building up to having a good year and then having good years, but it took time. And part of momentum isn’t like I do one thing. And now everything is great, which for some people it is. But for a lot of people momentum is like you have to really get close to see it. It’s happening on a microscopic level. It’s not even happening in the form of a ball rolling, it’s even like it’s electrons are slowly moving forward. It’s particles that are like inch by inch. It’s cells that are building, it’s slow, but it is happening. And after some time the momentum starts to get faster. I think that if we all have in the back of our mind that we’re not owed a good year, and it could take some time and if we love the process, and it’s a lot easier to stick it through.

Alex Beadon 43:18
And was that? Did it take you a long time to learn that like was it? Did you always have like this inner knowing that it’s just something you have to accept and just keep rolling with? Or is that something you’ve really had to work on as time has gone?

Shannon Boodram 43:30
Oh, hell no. You You saw me complain. So many tears, so many complaints. And it’s like, even right now watch my partner. He is a rapper. And so his career like he’s just getting started like with labels, he writes hooks for different rappers and like has is producing and just getting his you know, those those days at this point, there’s good days happening and great meetings that happened that would nothing following up. And there’s so much sensitivity and just rawness around his career. And I almost try to be that person that I want to be for myself four years ago who whispered in my ear is going to be okay, I try and be that for him. But it goes to that point, like you really cannot connect the dots looking forward. And it’s so easy for me now to say that I make. I’m in the top five percentile of income in America. And it’s easy for me to be like oh, you know, it all will work out and just keep working. And it’s all great because I’m here so it’s easy to say that when you’re in it, it’s you cannot tell that person that you can because it’s like nice to in the back of your mind. But even when you are that person you’re like that’s going to work for you but not me because you still have that doubt and you have no idea if it will ever come together so you can tell yourself those things. It’s nice to hear and I definitely tried to create as many of those quotables for myself or little life lessons. It’s not until you’re out of it that you actually get to sit in those sayings and those mantras and know that they are our true to them. But it’s no no no no no at the time I’m all tears and everything is the worst and I’m constantly like looking for jobs in the newspaper because I think I’m never Ready to work again. That’s where I’m that usually.

Alex Beadon 45:02
I love it. And I love that in those videos, you just show up and you’re like this format is so open and honest. And I think that’s just so I just love that about you so much. How do you balance growth in business with growth in like his, from all of the videos I’ve watched, like you seem super career driven, and purpose driven. But at the same time, you have the self awareness about like, what life is all about and enjoying your relationships and being in your body and yourself. So I’m curious for what that’s like for you. How do you balance growth and business being a hustler with the flow of life?

Shannon Boodram 45:39
What’s really dope about my job is that they’re both the same. And they’re like, every time that for example, yesterday, my makeup or breakup show, and I’m, it’s my job and to what I’m doing, but it’s like, there’s some things there. A lot of that is intimacy, building and intimacy, education, I’m learning things, we had this model that I’ve never heard of before, which is child, the child child to parent and adult to adult, which is the three ways that we should interact with each other within a relationship. And there has to be a balance. I’m like, Oh, I don’t know that. I’ve never heard of that before. So I’m always learning. I’m listening to audiobooks, I’m reading content, I’m meeting amazing people and having conversations with psychologists or therapists who I’m like, You have such beautiful insight. So I know I’m, like really fortunate to be in the space of, I think, I don’t know, whenever people tell me, they wanted to follow my footsteps and do what I do. I’m like, You should. It’s incredible. It’s awesome. It’s so fulfilling. And it doesn’t just help me in my romantic relationships, it helps me when I go and buy a piece of pizza, it helps me in my interactions with my bosses. Knowing how to connect with people is an invaluable tool that has furthered my life and every single aspect. There are some things like I’m not great, I’m awful at finance. You know, I’m awful at a lot of adulting things. I don’t think about cars. So I mean, for sure, my life has not allowed me to develop in areas I think would be useful for somebody my age. But in terms of just having a pleasant life and connecting with people and working well and cooperation based society, like I owe that all to the research that I’ve done. And that happens to be what I get paid to

Alex Beadon 47:12
do. That’s so cool. So you and your partner, Jared are both go getters. And I love his music. By the way, I had him on my Spotify, I was so high on Spotify to begin with. I was like, This is so cool. But so yeah, you’re both go getters. You’re chasing your dreams, you’re trying to make things happen. How do you balance that hustler energy between the two of you with actually making quality time for each other? I’m really curious about that dynamic that you guys have.

Shannon Boodram 47:39
It’s so crazy. Because in my previous relationship, I used to hate talking about work, I hated it. I’m like, can we please talk about anything else, because we just didn’t really see eye to eye on a lot. And I had a partner at the time who was very critical. And so I just it brought a lot of arguments. And I was like, I want to work with you like it’s just like, and so I developed this notion that like an ever more romantic relationship, I really want to separate work from it, because it just doesn’t feel comfortable. And I would hear couples who work together and be like, oh, like, how do you do that that just sounds like a recipe for disaster. But when I look back might know that that that relationship was disaster, like it didn’t need any extra help or additives. It wasn’t work. It wasn’t sex, it wasn’t any one thing, it was all of it. Whereas now it’s like, it’s a natural part of me. And so I need to find a partner who like that naturally makes sense that I can share that with I think that works for both of us. Like we had, we had a guest at our house for the past week was his producer from out of town. And so we just barely got a lot of time together. And so after my show, we came home and went for dinner and like the things that we’re talking about our dreams and our goals and like what we want next for the future. And like tomorrow, let’s plan this out. And let’s do this. And so it’s kind of like it’s our both it’s both of who we are. And so I think it’s a natural extension of what we want to share with each other. And it wouldn’t work for me with a partner who didn’t, you know, come from that same space, who didn’t just want to come home and play video games, who didn’t just want to come home and turn off and not think about work, I eat, sleep and breathe. And I remember, you know, in my past relationship, I was out for dinner and I got an email and it was on my phone. And he was like, you don’t have to do that right now. Like, you don’t have to do that. You can just be in the moment. And I’m like, no, no, no, this is me being in the moment. Because like, this excites me. And I would want my partner to be excited about what excites me. It’s like not take that personal look at that as as a choice of you or that it’s like, I can take this news and share it with you and we can have another discussion and elevate the energy level between us because we’re excited about our future that we’re building and it just, it didn’t work, you know, so I think it’s a lot of I credit that to just picking somebody whom I think is a better fit for me. But for sure, I mean, there’s times it’s just knowing when the time is right. There’s times we’re just having sexy time. There’s times when you’re just turning off watching a movie. There’s times when you’re joking around with each other but a large percentage of our relationship is we are each other’s like school counselors. We are each other’s there. peers, we are each other’s managers. And I think that that’s a joyful place to our relationship, not something that we feel like we have to manage at all.

Alex Beadon 50:10
I love that. And I love you. I know you guys had a YouTube channel, and it’s kind of put on pause right now, but I just used to love looking at the videos of you guys together, it’s just so great to see two people who seem to be on the same page and who have such a deep respect for each other.

Shannon Boodram 50:27
So awesome, thank you. Well, I know you get it too. It’s it’s like, I think that’s part of it, too, is like you, there has to be a balance, you know, when you’re doing this, like what’s making a return. And for both of us were like, this is cool. But the amount of work we’re gonna have to put into this to make it something is not something that either one of us want to take away from our main things like, I want to channel that reaches 300,000. You know, I want to grow and get new projects, I want to write a book next year. And this YouTube channel, if you could help it great, but it actually needs a lot of help. And that will be time and taking away from those dreams that I have that to be honest, are bigger dreams. And so it was like an experiment to see if it would grow really quickly. And we always want to do those like, because sometimes you just you hit gold, right? And if you started doing beauty videos, they started hitting goals, like okay, let me do this. But if you start doing beauty videos, I always say to creatives to so many creatives were like I’m you know, I’m really struggling in music. I think I might try YouTubing I’m like that’s not easier. It’s not as if that there’s not an easier choice. Like if you’re struggling there, it’s going to be the same work somewhere else. So we can try it out. Like if you want to see like, Oh, what if I started rapping would I become popular in a month. And if after a month, I wasn’t popular, I’d like you know, I’ll go back to doing sex education, because that’s hard. But this is hard, too. So I think we were just trying to see if it would be something that was like a overnight success. And when we knew it wasn’t going to be we’re both like not, we’re not ready to do the work for that. And I think that that’s an important thing for creative to be able to do. You can take risks, but you have to know when to pull out and when to do that quickly. And I think that quitting and learning how to quit is something that has taken me some time to pick up and I’m actually really proud of that skill set. Oh,

Alex Beadon 52:09
I love that. You said that so much. Because so often we feel like we’re almost married to the projects that we’ve committed ourselves to. And I just love that you’re just like, Yeah, it’s cool to quit, if it’s not working, if it’s not generating whatever it was that you wanted it to like cut your losses and move on.

Shannon Boodram 52:25
I like quit all the time. I am like I’m queen quitter. I started doing podcasting, like daily podcasting in you know, a few months ago. And then like a few, two, three months later, I’m like, this is not working. And I quit. But why did you stop doing that? Because it wasn’t what I wasn’t getting the results I expected and it was like becoming a mental drain for me. And don’t get me wrong, I get that persistence and consistency and you know, investment. But I’m like I do that already on other areas. Like I don’t have any more grind in me if it was going to be easy. Great. It’s not cool. I’m done with that.

Alex Beadon 52:56
Yeah, you don’t want to spread yourself too thin. Okay, cool. Um, lastly, I really want to talk to you about how you really take care of yourself. So self care, I want to talk about any daily practices that you have that really support you and your growth. So yeah, can you talk to us a little bit about that?

Shannon Boodram 53:18
Yeah, I mean, I’m again, I’m like, really? Yesterday, we were going for dinner and walking, and Joe made some kind of comment about how hard it is and how hard this time is. And I’m like, Yeah, but we still get to because we were watching we’re walking with this restaurant called Catch and catch is like all SUVs and like fancy cars. We should go inside I’m like nah, like I’m not in the mood I wasn’t in the mood for like, do you have reservations? Or like are you drink and get turned away? It was wasn’t in that mode. And it’s like, oh man is this like this thing is like so hard so much rotate. There’s so much this and I was like, Yeah, but like we’re still going out for dinner. Like, at this time, we’re still gonna wake up tomorrow whenever we want. Like, I’m still going to be able to like work out first or do something cool or talk to Alex like, I think that self care for me is just being able to choose what I want to do shit. Whatever that is like choose when I want to shower choose when I want to chill, choose when I want to take an afternoon nap what I want to wake up. I mean, obviously, some days I don’t have that choice because I have you know, a gig to go to. But by and large like I don’t have a nine to five or, and there’s benefits nine to five, you get to go on vacation. You know, you get to come home from work and not worry about it. You got to have structure. There’s there’s two sides that I never looked down at either one because I know. I know keenly. There’s some personalities that are fit for one and not fit for the other. I’m not fit for a nine to five. Mostly because I’m not like good at being. I’m like I’m good at working with people. I’m not going to work in under people. Right? And I’m like somebody who like if you put certain hours on me I’ll just find myself feeling very tired. So I just think I don’t always think self care is self care isn’t the life that I’ve created for myself. It’s like not even necessarily because I’m I have to go out of my way to do because I’ve spent so much time creating a career that is enjoyable for me that gives me the flexibility that I want. I’ve spent time investing in learning relationships and intimacy and and being able to select a partner, who at this time brings out the best in me and has created exponential growth for me, both emotionally and like monetarily like I’ve, since we’ve been together, I’ve gone from struggling to pay for rent to like, being able to pay other people’s rent and being able to be a contributor, my family in a way that I didn’t envision before. So I think that self care is just like, I don’t know, it’s an everything that I do. I don’t do anything. I do things that I hate, like taxes and shit. But by and large, it’s like a majority of my life is doing things that I enjoy. So I don’t really have to go out of my way to say, Okay, now it’s time for Shannon, because most of my life is like things that, you know, Shannon loves. Oh, I love that

Alex Beadon 55:48
so much. You have no idea. Awesome. Thank you for sharing that. Okay, so I have a few questions that I asked everyone at the end of an interview. So let’s dive in. What is one thing you do that has been a non negotiable in keeping your career successful and on track?

Shannon Boodram 56:05
Preparation, that

Alex Beadon 56:07
share one mindset that every creative needs to succeed?

Shannon Boodram 56:12
Do not connect the dots looking forward, you can only do it looking backwards. Looking forward, you just have to believe in this quote, let me see if I’m right. No, it’s not. It’s a Steve Jobs quote. I will pull it out. Anyways, it’s a Steve Jobs quote that basically says that, like, at some point, you got to just believe in something, you have to have a vision and just go for it. Don’t expect for everything to fall into place first, before you have that thing. And so you cannot connect the dots looking forward, you can only do it looking backwards. So don’t try to assume that if you do this, that that will happen. Because it probably won’t. And you’re going to be devastated if you tell yourself that it will. I love

Alex Beadon 56:49
that so much because it also required it sparks a trust in you that this is taking you in the right direction even if you can’t see it. That’s beautiful. Um, so these are fill in the blank questions. So the world would be a better place if more people knew themselves. That’s good. The book that changed my life was

Shannon Boodram 57:10
the social animal by David Brooks.

Alex Beadon 57:13
That’s a check that one out I’ve never read it. And last question off the top of your head. Who would you like to see me interview next? Oprah thank you so much, Shannon. I love you so much. And I’m just so happy that we got to talk today. I feel like people are gonna listen to this and take so much out of it. So thank you so much.

Shannon Boodram 57:37
Congratulations on starting your podcast and all your ventures congratulations on interviewing Oprah who knows when I’m not saying the next one. But I definitely think that that’s where you’re heading. Thank you. You’re just been awesome. Such a great uplifting lights. I appreciate this interview.

Alex Beadon 57:52
Thank you so much. Have a wonderful weekend.

Shannon Boodram 57:54
Bye You too. Bye girl.

Alex Beadon 57:55
Bye bye. Thank you so much for tuning into the on purpose podcast and I really hope that you had as much of a blast as we did. If you liked what you heard and want even more, make sure you leave a review because it really helps support what I do here on the podcast. All you have to do is search the podcast app for the on purpose podcast, select it then scroll down until you see write a review and then type away at the beginning of the next episode. I will be picking one review one special review My favorite review of the week and I will be reading it out for all of you guys so you definitely don’t want to miss out on that. I hope you really enjoy your week and I will see you guys again next time stay on purpose.