Love

029: Social Media Is Optional Not Mandatory with Alexandra Franzen

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Alexandra Franzen is a freelancing copywriter and author who I’ve been following for years. I love her because she runs her own business in such a unique and individual way, she steers clear of social media and writes the best newsletters in the world. If you’ve ever wondered what having a newsletter can do for you .. this is a great one to listen to. Alex is a true artist and a beautiful human being on a mission to create meaning with her life.

Welcome to On Purpose.

In This Episode You’ll Learn: 

  • How to be self aware enough to decide if social media is worth your time
  • The importance of having a high quality newsletter
  • How to balance creativity and business
  • Why Alexandra deleted all of her social media accounts
  • The unbelievable story of how her book came to life
  • & so much more

Resources:

Find Alexandra:
Website: www.alexandrafranzen.com

Spark a conversation! Leave a comment below or say hello @alexbeadon on Instagram.

Transcript Available Below

Alex Beadon 0:00
You’re listening to episode number 30 with author and professional copywriter Alexandra Franzen. This episode is called social media is optional, not mandatory. And in this episode we speak about Alex’s love for living a meaningful life. Why she decided to give up on social media and how she’s living life and doing business her way. Do you ever feel like you’re trying to balance it all, nourishing your health while growing your business and living a life well lift and no matter how hard you try, sometimes you slip from purpose driven into autopilot. Take a deep breath, relax, and let’s get you back to where you belong. On purpose.

Alexandra Franzen is a freelancing copywriter and author who I’ve been following for years. I love her because she runs her own business in such a unique and individual way. She steers clear of social media and legit writes the best newsletters in the world. If you’ve ever wondered what having a newsletter can do for you, if you’ve ever wondered if taking a break from social media would actually do you some good. This is a great one to listen to. Alex is a true artist and a beautiful human being on a mission to create meaning with her life. Welcome to on purpose. Alex, thank you so much for being here on the show with me today.

Alexandra Franzen 1:33
Nice. Thanks, I legs. Party, Alex is all around.

Alex Beadon 1:40
And like I just told you before we pressed record, you’re the second Alex that I’m having on the show. So it’s like just Alex is everywhere. It’s also

Alexandra Franzen 1:48
the Alex show. And we people named Alex about that idea. It’s actually be so funny, because you could interview all kinds of Alex’s There are

Alex Beadon 1:57
many kinds of good Alex is out there in the world. Okay, so I’m gonna start the conversation by just asking you a question that I ask every single person who comes on the show, and that is what is most nourishing about having your own business.

Alexandra Franzen 2:13
So I have a confession. I totally listened to a couple episodes before we met today. And I’m so glad I did that I can anticipate this question because I probably otherwise would have been like to her. But I actually thought about it a little bit. And, you know, there’s so many things, of course. But I think the biggest thing is that I’m I’m the type of person where I hate wasting time. Meaning like, I don’t want to do busy work. I don’t want to be sitting in a meaningless departmental meeting. I don’t want I don’t want my day to be filled with things when I’m just like, oh, like, why are we doing this. And when I used to have a more kind of like traditional corporate cubically job, there was so much of that. And what I love about being self employed being you know, an entrepreneur being a freelancer is that, you know, for the most part, I can really strip all that out of my workday and just work on tasks and projects and clients and activities that are actually meaningful, and where I’m actually producing or creating something, and that just makes my whole day feel so much more rich and exciting and alive. So yeah, not wasting time is very nourishing to me.

Alex Beadon 3:37
That is so, so onpoint with the entire conversation that I know we’re gonna have today. So okay, I have to update everyone. Alex is about to release her book. Actually, by the time this podcast goes live, it will have just been released into the world because it’s October 15. Right? That is so exciting. So it’s called. So this is the end a love story. And I will tell you, I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t read the entire thing. But it’s really because it just came to me very recently, and I’m in the middle of laundry. So I’ve been super busy. But I will tell you, the hour before this call, I was like, Okay, I’m going to read as much as I can in an hour. And I started reading it. And I’m not someone who’s like a big fiction reader. Right? So I wasn’t sure how I was going to enjoy it. And I really like it was so I couldn’t stop wanting to read more and more and more and more. And when I saw the hour was almost up, I was like no, this is. The premise is that there is this woman who dies and she had, there’s basically this, I’m probably going to butcher your entire story but I’m going to do my best to explain where I’m at so far. And basically she dies and she has an opportunity. There’s this thing on earth where you have a chance to get like an extra 24 hours of life and you can decide to buy it for yourself or not and so she decides to buy it She wakes up and it’s like her last 24 hours on planet Earth. And you follow her throughout her day. And I got to our number nine. And I was like, Oh my gosh, just reading this story. It’s making me think about things in I think about death every day if I’m being honest, but written in perspective, is just so powerful. So I’m so excited to keep reading it.

Alexandra Franzen 5:24
That’s so so amazing. And yeah, your synopsis synopsis that synopsis synopsis of the book was was right on, that’s exactly right. She she dies, she has an opportunity to come back only for 24 hours. So yeah, the whole premise of the book, the central question is, you know, if you had just 24 hours to live, what would you do with your time, and the main character of the book is, is kind of wrestling with that, especially at the beginning and trying to figure out, you know, what should I do? Should it should I go visit my mom, should I go eat a cheeseburger? Should I go watch the sunset? Should I dance like nobody’s watching? Should I you know, what should I do? This is it. This is the end. And then I don’t know if you’re at this part of the book yet. I don’t want to give too much away. But she ends up falling in love. She meets the love of her life, very last day of her life. And then that brings up a whole other set of complications and questions. And

Alex Beadon 6:23
I’m so excited. I’m actually I’m going away this weekend. And I can’t wait to keep reading. And hopefully finish it because it really has me like totally enraptured in the story. I absolutely love it. And I love that. Your answer just now so well. So clearly, like you prioritize meaning, which is something that I think you and I have in common. And something that I think is so magnetic about you, is that everything that you do seems to be dripping in meaning for you. And I absolutely love that about you. Okay, so before we kind of dive into that question, which is my next question, I would love for you to just do a quick intro of who you are, and what you do in your business for anyone who may not have heard of you

Alexandra Franzen 7:08
as yet. Yeah, of course. So I’m a writer. I’ve been self employed now for about eight or nine years, eight years, little over eight years. And I do a variety of things. I do copywriting, I do ghost writing, I do editing services. Most of the time, my clients are companies that are in kind of like the health and wellness and medicine and personal growth, make your life body mind more awesome field. And people hire me to help them write and develop podcasts and websites and video scripts, and sometimes speeches and proposals and pitches and book proposals and books and all kinds of things. So I love that kind of work because I get to work on so many different kinds of projects. And they they pull me in as a writer, you know, often I’m working among some kind of team where there’ll be like a designer or an audio engineer and things like that, which is really fun. I also teach creative writing, I teach writing retreats, mostly in Hawaii, but sometimes other places too. And I do a little bit of coaching. Sometimes people hire me for writing coaching, like if they want to write a book, but they’re feeling really stuck. And they want me to like lovingly nudge them and push them and help them map it out and keep moving forward. And then I have my own body of work separate from client stuff, which is I write articles, and I write books. I’ve written both nonfiction and fiction, I’ve done self publishing, as well as traditional publishing. I do. Soon I’ll be starting my own podcast. Oh my gosh, really excited. Oh, my gosh, that’s

awesome. I have kind

of my own little body of work of my own art projects, if you will, including my newsletter, which I really consider to be an art project. And that’s what I do.

Alex Beadon 9:02
That’s amazing. And just to kind of give everyone who’s listening a little bit of my history with you. I can’t remember how I found you online. But I know it was definitely years ago because I’ve been obsessed with your newsletters for the longest time. Like your newsletters are the one that like, you know, I’m subscribed to a lot of newsletters that are just kind of there. I don’t read them, they kind of come in and out. And actually recently, Laura who works with me, she made me unsubscribe to all of them. But yours is like the Holy Grail of newsletters. Like I just love listening to what you’re up to you. You share a variety of different topics. And I love that it’s like a personal thing for you. Like, like you said, it’s like an art project for you as well. And I just love that not only do you have your client work and the work that you get paid to do, but you’re also doing work for your own enjoyment and just to express yourself. Yeah,

Alexandra Franzen 9:53
thank you for saying that. And it’s interesting because I started my newsletter about maybe seven or eight years ago and there was a time in my career where, you know, I was reading a lot of articles about how to run a successful business. And everyone was saying, you know, like focus, find your niche, find your ideal client be specific do well, and, and I think there’s so much power in that. But I also felt like, that’s just not me. Like, I don’t, I don’t want to have a newsletter, where I’m writing about just one topic, or I’m speaking to just one kind of person, like, I just don’t want to do that, at least not with this particular newsletter. So I have kept it kind of broad like one newsletter, I might share an inspiring true story about an incredible person I met that month who, you know, did something amazing, and it really inspired me. And then another week, I might share, you know, writing or productivity tips. And another week, I might share, like an audio pep talk, where I’m trying to give encouragement and motivation. And so I mixed it up, but it’s overall, you know, my goal is always I want to leave my reader in better condition than I found them, I want to uplift their day, and I want to serve, you know, some kind of inspiration, encouragement and motivation. A spirit of you can do this, you’re gonna be okay, today is not over yet. You’re gonna make it is kind of the the overall message that I try to drip into those newsletters. So I’m so happy that you read it. And also, I will never be offended if you unsubscribe because that is okay. And decluttering your inbox is super awesome.

Alex Beadon 11:34
I totally agree. But I just love your newsletters. I love everything that you write, I love how your offerings, they just seem to be so from the heart. And I think what everything that you just said, is really going to hit home with so many people, I have so many clients who I work with who tell me, you know, I feel like I have to talk about one thing, do I really have to just be known for this one thing? And I’m like, No, I feel like we’ll want to get to know the people that they’re following on a really personal level. And I think things are changing in that regard where it’s like we It depends on your brand, obviously. But many times it’s really nice to know the whole person and to to know like that they’re dynamic, and that they have all of these different things that they want to share and bring to the table. And so I think it really does add value. And we’re beginning to see a shift in that way, which is super interesting to kind of just witness.

Alexandra Franzen 12:23
Yeah. So are there any I’m curious, are there any other newsletters that you still receive? Like, what are some that you think are really wonderful, or if not newsletters and like blogs or any other things that you follow? I really

Alex Beadon 12:38
the only newsletter that I really enjoy is yours, like anytime. I know, it’s like a really big statement to say, but for the most part, I can’t think of anyone else’s off the top of my head who when their name pops up, I’m like, oh, I should really click on that. Because for the most for the most part, people just pop up in my inbox like, man. I don’t really need to open that right now. I’ve got a million other things. Whereas with yours, I really even if I come back to it a few days later, I know that I’m going to get something from it. I feel like it’s really valuable, which is something that I really appreciate.

Alexandra Franzen 13:10
Interesting. What about like podcasts? Because you recently started this podcast, you’re rocking along? Are there any podcasts either in the business world or totally outside of business that you really enjoy?

Alex Beadon 13:22
I’m loving two podcasts right now. One is called the daily, you may have heard of it. It’s like a news podcast. Oh, I don’t know that one. It’s so good. I just love it. Because it’s such like an unbiased source of American news, which is weird, because I’m not in America. And I’m not an American. But I feel like American news affects the world. So I like to keep up to date. And like, I don’t like watching the actual news. So to me, it feels like a really good place to just go and get what I need in a really quick bursts and then walk away without having to like get all that I find. I don’t know, when I watch the news. It just makes me feel so bad. Whereas when I listened to this podcast, it’s like, I feel like I’m getting the facts. I’m getting what I need to know. And then that’s it. Yeah, you’re getting my emotional day. And then the other podcast that I’m really enjoying right now, let me find it because I cannot remember the name of it. Oh, it’s called Am I allowed to like anything? It’s so good. It’s just kind of like talking about culture and life and just, it covers so many different things. And I think that kind of goes back to what you were saying I’ve really kind of fallen out of, I think when I was first starting my business I was so into, like listening to everything about business that I possibly could. And like now I’m more about like exploring other aspects of life that are totally out of the industry and not necessarily having to read every single thing or listen to every single business podcast because I don’t know, it’s like I have more of a trust in myself as a business person now and I know that like I can use my own creativity and I have the strategies in mind that I can kind of play around with Do you ever feel that way too?

Alexandra Franzen 14:59
Oh, my Totally. And I think this is really common and normal. I think when you’re starting something new, any kind of project, you know, you’re trying to write a book, you’re trying to start a podcast, you’re trying to, you know, launch a business, I think it’s very natural that you’re like, well, I need to learn as much as I can. So you start researching the crazy and you, you read all the articles and read all the books and you find your mentors and your heroes and, and I think that’s what you do when you’re sort of peeling yourself off the ground and getting going. But then yeah, as the years go along, as you kind of find your footing and feel more confident in your work that I think it’s so important to start seeking inspiration outside of your industry and outside of your bubble so that you don’t get this like tunnel vision and just feel like you’re just mimicking all the people around you or bored. You know, like, I think that’s what it means to be a well rounded artist or service service provider or business owners, you’re you’re pulling inspiration from a whole variety of places and kind of, you know, re mixing it in your own way. Oh, there was a screen interview that I saw so many years ago, I think it was like a teenager at the time. And it was an interview with a ballerina like a prima ballerina. I think she was with American Ballet Theatre. I don’t remember her name. But I remember what she said, which was they asked her, you know, how do you prepare for the role of Juliet in the ballet version of Romeo and Juliet? Like, how do you get ready for that role? How do you embody the character? How do you give such an amazing performance. And what she said was, first, I research I read the play, I read every adaptation of the play, I watch videos of all the other ballerinas who have performed the role of Juliet, I study what they do and how they do it. I you know, absorb all things, Juliette. And then she said, and then I have to try to forget everything, and become my own Juliet. And I think that’s a really beautiful way of putting it, it’s like we kind of have to absorb, absorb, absorb, absorb, get all this information to sort of get us going. And then in a way you have to, you have to forget you have to kind of wipe your mind clear so that you can you can be yourself, you can be your own, that you can be your own type of business owner. And I’ve never forgotten the way that she put that I think that’s really beautiful.

Alex Beadon 17:21
That is really beautiful. So I’m curious which podcasts and newsletters Do you enjoy? Ooh, okay, so I’m excited you got

Alexandra Franzen 17:34
I love podcasts. I just love I listen to them while I’m working out. Sometimes I listen to them while I’m like puttering around my house making dinner doing laundry. I just I love them. And some that I’ve been listening to. I actually listen to a lot of comedy podcasts. I love this podcast called, why won’t you date me, which is hosted by Nicole Byers. And it’s literally a podcast, this woman she’s single, and she can’t figure out why. And so she interviews ex boyfriends, men, she’s dated in the past who didn’t want to go out with her again. And also just like random friends, and she asks them, basically, why am I single? Why won’t you date me? And then she makes them look at her Tinder profile and give them her their feedback. Like and it is I mean, it’s the it’s the funniest premise and is hilarious. And also she has this incredible confidence like she’s actually not like desperate. She She genuinely wants to know like, oh, so like, you hate that photo. Tell me why. She’s just very, she’s very upfront and funny and has just the most amazing personality. So I love Why won’t you date me? It’s hilarious. We also love this podcast. It’s a Buzzfeed podcast called thirst aid kit. Okay, kind of like first aid kit, but thirst. And thirst is a slang that because I’m an old grandpa, I didn’t know until recently, if you’re thirsty, or if you have thirst, it means like you have a crush on someone or you think they’re hot or whatever. Right? So this is a podcast where these two women basically just gush about people that they find super, super attractive. And then they but they do like this incredibly detailed breakdown of exactly why. And so like, they’ll talk about a male celebrity and they’ll break down like one scene in that one movie when he takes off his shirt almost completely, but not quite. And then, like, they go into like incredible detail and they’re both so funny. And then they write like little short, erotic stories and they read them on air and they’re both cracking up and it’s just one of the most delightful, hilarious show. Both of those, they will make you laugh, laugh laugh.

Alex Beadon 19:55
I love it. And what about newsletters?

Alexandra Franzen 19:58
So for newsletters similar to you I’ve unsubscribed from a lot of things over the years. And at this point, the only newsletters that I get regularly and read are, I usually subscribe to newsletters that are my clients. You know, if I’m working for a company or a client, I will usually get their newsletter at least for a while so that I can kind of familiarize myself with them a bit more. And then I get, I get a newsletter from booty yoga, which is a yoga company because I love their yoga classes. And these letters are pretty fun actually, they’re usually really short, but very inspiring. And I get a newsletter from my mom.

Alex Beadon 20:41
Oh, wow. Yes, she

Alexandra Franzen 20:43
started a newsletter.

Alex Beadon 20:44
So brilliant. I gosh, where can we find your mom’s newsletter?

Alexandra Franzen 20:51
Um, so to be totally honest, I don’t know. I think she has a website. Well, I’m pretty sure she has a website now, which is deal friends and.com. She works in the performing arts. She’s currently producing a musical that’s in London right now. And she’s an amazing woman. But she’s also very, very, very tech phobic. I guess we’re all kind of just like anti technology. Like she’s, she doesn’t do any social media. Nor do I actually these days, and she kind of hates her cell phone. And she has like a various sort of sketchy relationship with email. But somehow she started a newsletter. And I don’t know if you can subscribe to it, or you just have to know her and

Alex Beadon 21:30
she’ll add one thing.

Alexandra Franzen 21:33
He sends out a newsletter, and I receive it, and it is always a delight.

Alex Beadon 21:38
I love it. I love it. That actually brings me on very nicely to what I want to talk to you about next, which is how you became the person that you are today. Because you’re someone who is very different from like the average Freelancer that you would find online. As we’ve spoken about, you have a deep desire for meaning and for creativity. And I love those two things about you. So what did you take away from your family life as a child? And how do you think it’s affected? who you are today? Yeah. Oh,

Alexandra Franzen 22:10
that’s a great question. Um, so Well, let’s talk about my mom a little bit more. My mom, who is probably my biggest hero in life, and my best friend, she, her dad died very, very suddenly. And shockingly, when she was about 15 years old. And it was just the gruesome, horrific thing where she literally, you know, found his dead body, he died from a heart disease situation. And so he died when she was 15. And her whole family was kind of thrown into chaos, she had four other siblings, her mom, you know, went into like a deep depression as as one would expect. Then shortly after that, their house burned down, there was like a freak fire, there was just like a series of calamities that happened. And as a result, my mom became at a very young age, you know, what, 1718 years old, extremely independent, the type of person who was like, you know, I need to take care of myself because nobody else will. And, and also a person with a very, very real sense of, this could be your last day, and you never know what’s coming around the corner. So you better enjoy this moment to the absolute fullest. Because this isn’t baby like this is it? This is your life. And from a very young age, she really instilled that life philosophy into me and into my brother and sister, this idea of whatever’s right in front of you right now, if if you have an opportunity to work on an amazing art project, if you have an opportunity to spend the afternoon with your family, you know, whatever’s good in your life, appreciate it and really appreciate it. And whining is not allowed, was kind of the philosophy in our family. So, yeah, I think that that has totally affected me like deep, deep, deep in my bones. And like everyone, of course, I have days and moments where I get off track and I get distracted and I get off purpose and I’m just kind of, you know, frittering away the day not particularly present or not appreciating things, but I also then it’s almost like, I hear the voice of my mom, and I’m able to kind of snap back and remember that today is meaningful and to appreciate it to the fullest. But what about you? What was your family upbringing, like and what kind of messages were sort of instilled in you?

Alex Beadon 24:44
Oh, that’s such a good question that I asked you first. Um, wow. I think for me, probably the thing that had the biggest impact on me was the fact that I moved around like, probably once every year and a half between different And country’s because of my dad’s job. So I spent my whole childhood kind of just like moving, moving, moving, settling down, making friends moving again, settling down, making friends moving again. And I think that it really helped me to, I remember when I, when I was like 1314, I started to realize that the time that we have with people is so precious for me at that time, it was because I knew I had finally gotten to the awareness that like, Oh, this isn’t going to stop, this is going to keep happening. So while I’m here, I better like really enjoy it and take a lot of pictures and soak up every moment that I possibly can. And so I think similarly, it taught me how to be super present. So everything that you just said feels like very much. It feels very, it resonates very deeply with me. And it feels like I can recognize that also in myself. And I think similarly, I had a mother who was always very, it was very important for her to remind us of the importance of living your best life, appreciating every moment for what it is, and, and really looking on the positive side of things. I think I look at my positivity, I think it really comes from my mother. So yeah, so I think that really affected me. I’m curious, how, where did your entrepreneurial side come

Alexandra Franzen 26:21
from? That’s a great question, too. I would say again, from my family, my family I was so I know, this is not the storyline for so many people, which breaks my heart. But I was really born into a family that celebrated the arts and creativity and being different and doing your own thing and being rebellious. In fact, if anything, I was kind of like the uptight stick in the mud in my family. Like I remember being a teenager, and my mom would be like, it’s a beautiful day, you know, let’s play hooky, go to school, come to the beach. And I’d be like, Oh, my have a bathtub. You know, but my family is very, very, very entrepreneurial. My, my mom, in her own way is an entrepreneur. She’s been a performing artist most of her life and has been, you know, self employed. She’s run nonprofit organization. So she’s, she’s very entrepreneurial, and creative. My dad has a more traditional profession. He’s a lawyer, but he’s run his own practice his own firm for many, many years. My brother and sister are both very creative and entrepreneurial. So it was just kind of the sea that I grew up swimming in was an entrepreneurial place. And that is, I know, that is so rare, and I’m so lucky that that was my upbringing. But what’s funny is that even though I grew up in such a supportive environment, it’s still hard to become an entrepreneur. And I still faced all kinds of fears and insecurities when I started to make those little baby steps towards self employment. Because it’s scary No matter what, you know,

Alex Beadon 28:03
yeah. What would you say was the thing that happened for you, or the change or something, something that really prompted you to step fully into your entrepreneurial self? Like, what I’m curious is like, what made you start really feeling like, Oh, I got this, like, I understand how this how this works. Like, what advice would you have to people who are just starting out as entrepreneurs?

Alexandra Franzen 28:26
Oh, so Okay, so, to go back to the kind of the first part of your question of what what prompted me to become an entrepreneur. You know, some people when you ask people like, why did you start your business? Or why did you become an entrepreneur, they’ll say, like, I was so motivated by this, you know, this mission that I want to spread in the world, or I just want to help people and, but like to be totally frank, for me, my initial motivation was just that I hated my job so much. And I just wanted to be free. And I was almost at the time, this was like nine or 10 years ago, it almost didn’t matter what I did with my career, as long as I could be self employed and be free and not have to go to a cubicle every day. Like that was my initial motivation that kind of lit a fire under my butt to help me figure out a plan to transition out of the nine to five cubicle worlds and into being self employed. later down the line. as things progressed, then I began to connect with other motivations, like wanting to be of service and wanting to contribute to humanity and wanting to touch people’s lives and wanting to make beautiful art. But really, at the beginning, it was just like, I need to get out of here. Yeah, that was, that was my initial push. So you know, I guess my advice for someone who’s starting out would be Hmm, I guess I would say tap into your tap into your motivation. Do whatever it may be, and let it fuel you and fire you to keep taking the steps you need to take to move your career in the direction you want to go. And what I mean by that is like, right now, if you’re just motivated by, I want to quit my cubicle job, I want to save $30,000. So I’ve got a little cushion, and I want to get out of here. Like, if that’s your motivation right now, then that’s great, like, focus on that, write that down, put it on your vision board, you know, whatever. But whatever your true motivation is, focus on it and let it fuel you forward. That’s my advice.

Alex Beadon 30:34
I like that advice. It’s good advice. Okay, I really want to talk to you about your relationship with social media. Because for years, you’ve been an example. Every time people were like, do I have to have a Facebook page? I’m like, No, you don’t have to have an online presence. Just look at Alexandra Franzen. So talk to us about like the decision, because I know you don’t have a Facebook page, correct?

Alexandra Franzen 30:56
Yeah, at this point, I don’t have any social media. And you’re not on Instagram, either. No, yeah, I have my website. And I have a blog. I’m answering flutter newsletter. And that’s it. No, no worry about

Alex Beadon 31:10
that. Like, what was the decision factor behind that? Like, were you scared at first, you were like, Oh, my gosh, I have to be in these places. I would just love to hear you kind of rounds on that for a little.

Alexandra Franzen 31:21
Oh, I love talking about this topic. So as a preamble, I will say because they don’t want to get angry letters in the mail, as I have in the past. To be very clear. I am not saying that social media is that. In fact, I actually think it’s one of the most amazing inventions of our generation. And it can be used in so many beautiful ways. So if you are the person who loves using Instagram, and you love using Snapchat, and you love using Facebook, and it brings meaning and joy into your life, and it feels like an art project for you, or it helps you find clients, that is awesome. Please keep doing your thing. That’s my my preface of that I don’t get an angry letter from a high schooler in the mail like I did a few months ago. That being said, I do also believe that social media is optional, not mandatory. And here’s my personal story of what happens. So about, you know, back in the day back when I was getting my business started, like we talked about earlier, you know, I hired coaches, and I found mentors, and I did tons of research. And of course, everybody was saying, You got to be on social media, you got to be on Twitter, you got to be on Facebook. That’s how you’re going to find clients as a freelancer or as a, you know, self employed service providers. So I was like, okay, so I made all the profiles, and I had Twitter and Facebook and Instagram, and I had vine, I think, Pinterest, and you know, all the things. And I just started chugging away. And I found that, you know, it was really fun. I liked Twitter, I like Instagram, you know, it was, it was a fun way to express myself out. You know, I obviously love writing, I love communicating. So it felt great. And pretty quickly I built up, you know, a pretty sizable following. And things were sort of rocking along. And several years passed. And then I just remember there was kind of moments in my life, where I noticed that I would reach for my phone, almost without even realizing I was doing it. And then just start kind of compulsively scrolling through Twitter, who liked my last tweet who retweeted my last tweet who sent me a direct mail. No, it was kind of it really felt like almost like a physical compulsion to just have a quick check. Have another check what’s happening now? Let’s check and see. And I didn’t like this. It started to kind of grossed me out. I was like, why am I doing this? Like, I felt like almost like I was hypnotized. Or, like I was addicted. Exactly. And I also started noticing how just kind of how much of my mental energy was sort of caught up in, for example, Twitter, like, I’d be just sitting around and I would I would think of something I wanted to tweet and then I would, it’s just I just started to become aware like how it sure does feel like a lot of my time and a lot of my mental energy is being focused on social media and and maybe too much, you know, maybe this is getting a little overboard, even veering into the realm of sort of compulsion or addiction, like that about myself. And so I decided to do a little math. And what I did was that because on Twitter, I think you can see like how many times you’ve tweeted in total, or you know how many tweets in the last year or whatever. So, I literally sat down with a calculator, and I pulled up you know, the total number of tweets that I had He did in the previous year. And then I multiplied that by the approximate number of minutes that went into each tweet. And I kind of just made a rough estimate of like, you know, it takes me maybe two minutes to think of the witty tweet in my mind, and then it takes me like a minute to type it into my phone, and then then maybe, you know, another minute to kind of, you know, shorten it edited, you know, add the link, whatever. And then I posted and then I, then there may be a minute or two, where I’m checking to see how many people retweeted it. And then a couple minutes later, where I check and see, okay, well, how many people now and, and I kind of came up with a rough estimate that every tweet represents, like about 12 minutes of my life, that is sort of invested in in the cultivation and harvesting of that tweet, you know what I mean? Yeah, so I multiplied total number of tweets for the year by 12 minutes. And I got a big, big, big number of minutes, because I was tweeting, you know, several times a day, typically. And I was like, Whoa, and then I multiplied that number by, like, you know, 40, or 50. In other words, if I keep tweeting at this current rate for the rest of my life, like for the rest of my career for the next four or five decades, what’s the grand total? And what I found was that if I were to continue on that path, by the end of my life, I would have spent about three years of my life doing Twitter. Wow. Yeah. And I wow. And to be clear, that’s just Twitter, and Facebook and all the other ones. So I remember looking at that number on my calculator. And I, I, my first reaction was, that can’t be right. I was like that I made a mistake. So I did the math again, and again and again. And I was like, No, that’s, that’s right. That’s where I’m headed. And I actually felt sick to my stomach. I felt kind of nauseated. And I felt scared. And I projected, I mean, you mentioned earlier in this in our conversation that you think about death all the time. I think about death all the time, too. And I suddenly imagined myself, like, on my deathbed, you know, hopefully 90 years old, and looking back on my life. And if I were to look back on my life, when I’m 90, would I think to myself, I’m so glad I spent three years on Twitter, like that was a great use of my time, or, or what I think to myself, I wish I had spent those three years writing three more novels, or I wish I had spent those three years with my family or, you know, or anything else. And for me, personally, when I really think about where I want my time to be going, it’s not Twitter, you know, or certainly not that much of it. So, I decided to make some changes. And I started really small, I started by, you know, I was nervous, I didn’t want to make any drastic changes. Like many people, I had this fear that if I stop using social media, I’ll never get any clients and my business will dry up and everything will fall apart. So I started by making a really tiny change, which was I just decided that I was going to take, just take the summer off from Twitter. That’s it, just like two or three months, just kind of hit pause. And so I think I posted something on Twitter saying like, Hey, I’m taking a little summer sabbatical. So you guys in the fall or whatever. And I just didn’t use Twitter for that one summer. And I was curious to see what would happen to see if there would be a negative impact on my business to see how it would feel. And what I found is that it was it was weird at first, because I missed it, you know, and I was almost like, you know, weaning yourself off of sugar or caffeine, like I wanted that sweet, sweet Twitter hit. But after a few weeks, I didn’t really miss it. And I also noticed that my brain felt a little quieter. Like the metaphor, the best metaphor I can use is like, it’s like if you have a refrigerator in your kitchen that’s broken. And it’s kind of making like our PA like a home sound. But it’s been that way for so long that you almost don’t even notice it anymore. It’s just like part of your environment. It’s just it’s there. But then one day, finally the repair guy comes and fixes it. And there’s silence and you’re like, oh, it it’s so quiet. Yeah, I didn’t know it could be like this. That’s kind of how it felt when I stopped using Twitter. It’s like there was the hum in my brain. Huh, went away a little bit more. And so at the end of that summer, I decided that I was going to, to go further I was gonna go, you know, do a year without Twitter. And then little by little by little by little, I just kept deactivating my accounts, I got rid of Facebook, I got rid of Instagram, I got rid of all all the things. And

what I found, and look, my my business model is such that I’m not trying to sell 100,000 copies of an ecourse. That’s not how I make money I, my business model is that I genuinely work with a very small handful of clients on long term projects. So I only really need about 10 to 15 clients every year, plus maybe you know, eight to 10 people to sign up for my retreats that I do, and things like that. So I don’t need a million Twitter followers, you know, like, I just need a small tribe of people who love my work and who hire me and recommend me. So, for me, what I found was that removing social media from my life and from my business, it didn’t have a negative impact on my income at all. In fact, if anything, it was a positive thing, because there had so much extra mental energy and space and time that I was able to write three books and develop my first digital product and like, make stuff. So for me personally, the choice to leave social media has been so good. Nowadays, I can honestly say I don’t miss it at all. I don’t even think about it. It’s just not part of my life. And I just communicate with my clients and friends in other ways. I send them text messages, I send them little audio messages and video messages through email, and do my newsletter. I just have other ways that I connect with people. And that’s enough. So that’s my social media story.

Alex Beadon 42:01
That was an awesome story. I loved it. I’m curious how since deactivating your social media accounts, what would you say has been the most beneficial use of your time when it comes to actually marketing yourself and getting clients? Yeah. So

Alexandra Franzen 42:20
for me, when I think about like, how do clients find me, it’s usually word of mouth, it’s usually that, you know, I have a client, and maybe they initially find me through my website, or maybe a friend recommended me to them. Or maybe they’ve been on my newsletter for many, many, many years. And now they want to hire me. But if I work with that client, and I put my whole heart into the project, and I do a really, really good job, they are very likely to mention me to somebody else to a colleague to a friend. And then that person wants to hire me too. And I mean, I would say 90% of the comments that I get are just hey, my friend Sharon told me that I need to hire you like it’s that kind of thing. It has nothing to do with social media, or Facebook, or whatever. So yeah, I mean, people find me through a comp through a combination of, you know, again, I have a website, I post articles there, I have a newsletter, people enjoy my newsletter, sometimes. I put myself out there like what we’re doing right now, you know, I am a guest on other people’s shows. Occasionally, I’ve done media appearances, I make an effort to put myself out there to the best of my abilities, and write books, you know, so I am putting myself out there in a variety of ways. I’m just not doing it on Instagram. Yeah. So it’s, again, like, if I always say to people, because a lot of people are curious about what is life without Instagram, like, how does this work. And it’s like, there’s so many different ways to connect to people and build relationships and put yourself out into the world and share your work. Instagram is an amazing way to do it. But it’s just one of 1000 different things. And I think we’ve almost forgotten that in this point in our culture.

Alex Beadon 44:09
I love that. I love that so much. And for me, being someone who follows you and watches you and checks in on you and sees what’s going on. I think it’s almost like by removing yourself from those platforms. It’s almost increased the value of you and your brands in a way because it’s like you’ve created your own little space of like, Hey, if you want to hear from me, these are the places where it’s going to happen. And it’s not going to happen in all of these other places, just because that’s where everyone else says that it should happen.

Alexandra Franzen 44:42
Yeah. Yeah.

Alex Beadon 44:45
Which I think is awesome. And it just adds even more value. That’s why I think when your newsletter comes up, I’m like, Hey, I have like an update from her. Cool, you know, that’s so

Alexandra Franzen 44:53
cool. That’s great to hear. And yeah, I think I’m also the type of person who I really like of intimacy. I think that’s one of the reasons why I still love doing one on one work with clients. I love that kind of intimacy and personal connection. And, you know, even though my newsletter has grown over the course of many, many years to a pretty big community, I still feel that sense of intimacy there, there is something about an email, because it’s kind of like a conversation between you and one person. And so I like that. And I also like that when I share something for my newsletter, for example, it’s like once I hit that send button, and it goes out, that’s it. Like, I’m not tracking to see how many people click the heart button about it, or how many comments there are, it’s just like, hey, here you go. And out it goes. And that’s kind of the end of it, you know, and there’s something about that, that I really enjoy as well. It kind of again, it reduces that that noise inside my way, a little bit.

Alex Beadon 46:00
So for anyone who’s listening, who’s really resonating with what you’re saying about having a more intimate newsletter, what advice would you have for them,

Alexandra Franzen 46:10
I would say, when you write your newsletter, even if you are writing to 500 subscribers, or 1000, or 10,000, or 100,000, pretend like you’re writing to just one person, pretend like you’re writing an email to a friend. And sometimes I will actually imagine a specific person in my mind, like all imagine, a client or a friend or you know, a woman who I know is like a super duper fan of my newsletter, and I’ll pretend that I’m writing just to that one person. And when we do this, it’s it’s like something clicks in our brain where we’re able to communicate in such a more natural, human conversational way. When you think to yourself, Oh, I’m just writing an email, no big deal. You’re writing changes the way that you communicate changes. So that would be my biggest piece of advice is write as if you’re writing to just one person. And another little kind of add on to this is, if you’re the type of person where you love to share advice, or inspiration or encouragement in your newsletter, like I do. Imagine that one person emailed you, and they basically asked for your help. So you can imagine that someone emailed you and they’re like, Hey, I’m just getting started with Instagram stories. I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m so overwhelmed. I think my stories suck. Also, like I’m kind of tech phobic, I die. I need help. Do you have any words of encouragement for a total newbie, like me? So you just got that email from someone? And then if you got that email, what would you say in response, you’d be like, hey, it’s so awesome that you’re experimenting with Instagram stories. I think it’s such a fun way to express yourself. And it can be used to do so many beautiful things. And if you’re just getting started, here’s what I want you to know. Blah, blah, blah, and then share your advice or share your story or whatever. But when you write again, when you write as if you’re speaking to just one person, a funny thing happens, which is that every single person who receives your newsletter feels like, oh my god, she’s talking to me. Like, Yeah, feels like you wrote this just for me because it has that personal, intimate feeling. Hmm,

Alex Beadon 48:28
I love that. Okay, so my next question for you is, I want to hear more about your book and about the creative process for you creating this book, so talk to me about what that was like.

Alexandra Franzen 48:41
Okay, so I had a dream. And so Alex, do you remember like, Do you are you the kind of person where you remember all of your dreams really vividly when you wake up? Or do you usually not remember?

Alex Beadon 48:53
No, I do. I definitely remember. Okay, so

Alexandra Franzen 48:56
I’m the opposite. I actually almost never remember my dreams. I don’t know why. I usually wake up and I’m just like, Okay, what happened? I don’t know. This, this one morning, it wasn’t even morning. It was kind of in the middle of the night actually. I bolted awake from a dream. And it was one of the only times in my whole life when I really remembered my dream vividly, like almost like it was a movie that I had just watched. And in this dream, I had died. And in the dream, somehow doctors had been able to kind of resuscitate me and bring me back to life. And in my dream, the doctor said to me, you know you’re dead. But you’re very lucky because we’ve been able to bring you back, but it’s only for about 24 hours. You know the effects of this medical procedure we’ve done are only going to last for 24 hours so you have one extra day. Go do whatever you want to do before you die again. permanently. And I remember in the dream I was, you know, I wanted to see my family, I wanted to watch the sunset I wanted, I wanted to do so many things. And I remember, in my dream, feeling the sense of like, a combination of gratitude that I had one more day, but also the sense of pressure and urgency and deep sadness, like, this is the end, this is the last time that I’m going to see my mom and dad and sister and brother. And this is the last time that I’m going to do that I’m going to walk barefoot on the grass. And there is just this bittersweet feeling of, it’s all coming to an end, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. And I woke up from that dream. And I was like, my heart was pounding and I was sweaty, and I think I started crying, like it was the most emotional dream I’ve ever had. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it, like weeks went by, and I kept thinking about that dream and thinking about it. And finally, I realized, you know, I don’t know if I don’t know what I want to create, you know, maybe it’s an article, maybe it’s a blog post, maybe it’s a book, but I need I need to write about this even just like for my own catharsis and journaling, like I need to write about the stream that I had. And so I took my laptop and I went to the local coffee shop, and I just started writing. And almost without really making a plan, it pretty quickly became clear that I wanted to tell this story in the form of a novel in the form of a fiction book. And I had this concept of like a 24 hour 24 chapter book, where each chapter follows, you know, one hour in the final day of this woman. And so that’s how it all started. And then what was interesting, though, is that the book poured out of me really quickly, like it only took me about six weeks to write the whole book charged out. But then I kind of just let the word documents sit on my computer desktop for like, six months. And I didn’t do anything with it. I didn’t share it. I didn’t, you know, send it to my proofreader. I didn’t. You know, I didn’t look for fiction, literary agents. I didn’t mention it to my publisher. I didn’t do anything with it. I just kind of let it sit there. And there was a whole variety of reasons for that, you know, I was busy with other projects, blah, blah, blah. But also, I mean, really, honestly, I think I was just scared. I think I was just nervous that because I don’t do a lot of fiction writing. And I think I worried maybe this is just not good. You know, maybe this book kind of sucks, or I don’t know, like, how do I know if this is good enough to even get published or whatever. So I just sort of let it South sit there for a while. But then I think it was around around it was December. So it was just maybe just before my birthday, or maybe even on my birthday, I decided kind of impulsively, like, you know what? I wrote this book, I think it’s a cool story. I’m just going to share it and just kind of rip off the band aid and just put it out there and see what happens. So I decided to do it in like the most efficient way possible, which was basically, I went file, save as PDF. And then I uploaded the PDF to my website. And then I sent an email to my newsletter. And I basically just said, like, surprise, I wrote a novel, you can have it for free. Here it is. That was basically my whole book launch. I love it. And, and again, I gave it away for free, mainly because I worried it wasn’t good. And I felt like if I give it away for free, then no one can be mad at me if it sucks. That was that was my feeling. And and I won’t go into the whole story because we could spend another two hours talking about this. But the short version of what happened next is that so many things happened next, I started getting emails back from people who said, I love this story. Or this really inspired me to look at my day differently or an email from a woman who said your story inspired me to like take a day off work and take my husband and spend a day at the beach just being together. And so like little by little by little by little I started to get reactions to the story and I started to feel like oh If it’s working, you know, like, I made something that is having, like, yeah, that’s what I wanted. And then the most magical thing happened, which was, somebody downloaded that free version of the book. And they really enjoyed it. And they passed it on to a friend of theirs. And they enjoyed it. And they passed along to their brother, who was a TV producer for the CW Network, and he liked it. And he considered like, maybe I want to adopt this into a TV show. But he kind of felt like I don’t know if I’m quite the right producer for it. So then he passed it along to a woman, a colleague of his and he said, I think you’ll really like the story. And then she read it. And then she emailed me out of the blue one day and said, You know, I’m, I’m a screenwriter, and you know, indie film, TV producer, and I’m interested in adapting your novel into screenplay. And when I got that email, my first reaction was, I thought it was a spam email, I thought it was like, I thought, if I clicked it, like a virus was going to be downloaded on my computer, because I couldn’t believe it. And, but it turned out to be real. And she, we actually just finished working on the pilot episode A few days ago, and we’re going to be pitching it to Netflix and

Alex Beadon 56:19
Hulu, and my exciting. Yeah, and like, you know,

Alexandra Franzen 56:23
who knows if anything will happen with it. But it’s very exciting. That’s

Alex Beadon 56:28
amazing. Like, I wish I could see my face this entire time, like my jaw is just dropped. That’s such a beautiful story.

Alexandra Franzen 56:37
It’s so cool. And so then after that happened with her, that was kind of like the final shove that I needed, I guess, like, all right, you know, this, maybe this book doesn’t completely suck, and maybe, like, actually make an effort to get it out into the world in a slightly bigger way. So then I emailed my editor at my publisher, and I, the publisher that I’m currently signed with, they only do nonfiction books. So they don’t do fiction. They don’t do poetry, they only do nonfiction. But I said to my editor, like, hey, you know, I have kind of a big favor to ask. She’s a woman, she’s been in the publishing industry for 25 years, she’s very well connected. She’s really kind. So I asked her, if you just if you happen to know, anyone who is a fiction literary agent, or maybe a contact at a fiction publishing house, have this little project. And if you could maybe make an introduction for me, I would be so so so, so grateful. And so I sent her that email. And it was one of those emails where like, I agonized over it for like, four days, and like, was so scared to send it because I, you know, we get so weird about asking for favors sometimes. And it was just like, but I finally sent it. And she wrote back, and she said, Alex, like, the timing of this is so serendipitous, and so weird, because I just got out of a meeting with everyone here at the publishing company. And we’ve decided that we are going to start a fiction imprint, we’re starting a fiction development. Wow. And she was like, so send me your manuscript, you know, maybe we want to publish it. And I was like, Whoa,

Alex Beadon 58:23
it was so insane. Crazy. So I

Alexandra Franzen 58:27
was like, okay, so and that’s what ended up happening is that my, my current publisher is releasing. So this is the end my novel as as one of the very first books in their new fiction division. So the journey of going from PDF that I self published and released, all the way to the hardcover version that’s coming out soon. It was like, a two year journey with so many weird twists and turns and surprises along the way. But for me, like the the big takeaway that I’ve taken from this experience, is that even if you’re scared, and even if you’re not sure, if it’s good, and even if you feel like I’m not ready, or this project isn’t perfect yet, just put it out there, put it out in the world, in some way or another, even if it’s in a very small way, like just releasing it to your clients or your friends or to a small circle, because it’s like, once you toss that pebble in the water, it starts a ripple effect. And you never know where that ripple might lead. And so you just got to toss the pebble in the water. Right?

Alex Beadon 59:47
Beautiful. I just, I asked you that question. I was not expecting such a beautiful answer. That’s incredible. So thank you so much for sharing that with us.

Alexandra Franzen 59:57
Thanks. Yeah, it’s a crazy story.

Alex Beadon 59:59
Read the story. And it’s only the beginning. So I’m so excited to see where it goes. I’m so excited to finish reading the book this weekend. And for everyone who’s listening, you can, can you tell everyone where they can find the book?

Alexandra Franzen 1:00:11
Yeah, so it’s called. So this is the end a love story. And it’s on all the usual places. It’s on amazon.com, Barnes and Noble indiebound books million, it will be at bookstores. So you know, check your local bookstore, see if they have it. If they don’t have it, you can probably ask them to order it for you. And it’s available in hardcover and in Kindle. And I hope you like it. If you don’t like it, maybe don’t write a horrible review on Amazon. Keep your thoughts to yourself. That would be great.

Alex Beadon 1:00:50
Okay, perfect. So that’s actually the best place for me too. Come on in with my wrap up questions. So I asked these questions to everyone at the very end of all of my episodes. So the first one is, what is one thing you do that has been a non negotiable in the success of your business,

Alexandra Franzen 1:01:10
doing a good job for my clients so that they want to hire me again, and or talk about me to other people

Alex Beadon 1:01:19
share a mindset shift that has made the biggest difference in your life as an entrepreneur?

Alexandra Franzen 1:01:25
Oh, I would say today is not over yet. Today is not over yet is my personal mantra. And when you’re having one of those days where like nothing’s quite going right, and you’re not feeling productive, and you feel a little distracted. And suddenly, it’s 8pm. And you haven’t done anything productive. You can say to yourself, today is not over yet. And then try to finish the day, on a positive strong note. There’s always a way to do that.

Alex Beadon 1:01:53
I love that. And you know, what’s so funny is that as I was reading your book, that was the last line that I read, right before our nine. So that’s I just love that so much. As soon as I read. I was like, this is like her. She says this all the time. I love it. It fits in so beautifully. It’s perfect. Okay, the book that changed my life was

Alexandra Franzen 1:02:15
I would say die empty by Todd Henry. It’s a book. Have you read that one? No, I haven’t read it. Oh my gosh, it’s so good. It made me sob I was reading it on an airplane and crying like a crazy person. And it’s, it’s a really simple premise, the whole premise of the book is that we’re all born with a limited amount of time here on Earth. And unfortunately, most people die with their greatest work still inside of them, they never get it out. They never make the time to write the book or launch the business or do the art project or travel to Thailand or whatever it is like they they die with their best stuff still inside of them. And so in this book, he urges you to die, empty, empty the tank, get it all out. While you can.

Alex Beadon 1:03:10
I clearly have to read that book. Okay, so the next one is the world would be a better place. If more people knew

Alexandra Franzen 1:03:19
that when you die, no one will care about emails.

Alex Beadon 1:03:25
Very true. And then lastly, this is one of my favorite things. I’m really curious what yours is going to be I asked every guest to challenge our audience to do one thing this week. So what is it that you would love to challenge our audience to do this week?

Alexandra Franzen 1:03:44
I would say really sit with the question of if, if I had 24 hours to live, what would I want to do with my time? And think about that question, maybe even write down your answer. And then whatever your answer is, try to live to the best of your abilities. More like that.

Alex Beadon 1:04:07
And then of course, I have to add one extra question, because you just said that I’m curious how you would spend your last 24 hours,

Alexandra Franzen 1:04:17
I would absolutely go to the beach, I would submerge myself in the ocean. I would spend time in nature. I would spend time with my family and friends. I would probably eat a bacon cheeseburger. And I would probably write a letter to say goodbye to the people that I love and to tell them how grateful that I am to have known them in this life. And I would send that letter to them so that they have a little piece of me after I’m gone and that there’s a little echo left when I disappear.

Alex Beadon 1:04:58
That’s so beautiful. Thank you so so much for coming onto the show today you this whole conversation for me has just been so wonderful so present so just nourishing so thank you so much. I’m sure everyone listening feels the exact same way.

Alexandra Franzen 1:05:13
This has been so much fun Alex thank you for having me on the show I really really love talking to you and Alex’s are awesome

Alex Beadon 1:05:25
thank you so much for tuning into the on purpose podcast and I really hope that you had as much of a blast as we did. If you liked what you heard and want even more make sure you leave a review because it really helps support what I do here on the podcast. All you have to do is search the podcast app for the on purpose podcast, select it then scroll down until you see write a review and then type away at the beginning of the next episode. I will be picking one review one special review My favorite review of the week and I will be reading it out for all of you guys so you definitely don’t want to miss out on that. I hope you really enjoy your week and I will see you guys again next time stay on purpose.

#022 – Community Building Online and Offline with Asia Croson

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Online communities are great. But how connected are you to your real-life community?

For Asia Croson, a professional photographer and budding philanthropist, connecting to others was more than just a passion. This is her life. As a College Senior photographer, Asia has been able to bring meaningful changes to her community through creating charity events that range from helping those through personal struggles to starting their own businesses.

“As much as I want to put myself out there online, I think it’s just as important to put yourself out there where you live.”

Learn more about her motivations, her backstory into her own business and why she thinks it’s key to reach out to those around you in a meaningful way.

“People wanted to get photographed by me because they knew me, liked me and trusted me…”

This is On Purpose.

In this Podcast, you’ll learn:

  • Turning hobbies into successful businesses
  • Forging relationships with your community
  • Introverts vs extroverts
  • Guerilla Marketing and how it can benefit small start ups.
  • & the importance of alone time

Join the Community:

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Transcript Available Below

Alex Beadon 0:00
In this episode I speak to Asia Croson, who is a professional senior photographer. Asia is a pro when it comes to community building both off and online. And in this episode, she shares how she leverages her strengths to build that know, like and trust factor so that she’s the very first person her clients go to when they’re looking for a photographer. The best part is that her advice in this episode is relevant to everyone, regardless of your industry. It’s about the importance of knowing yourself well enough to create a business and a life that supports you exactly as you are, and sets you up to win. This is on purpose. Do you ever feel like you’re trying to balance it all? nourishing your health while growing your business and living a life well lived? And no matter how hard you try, sometimes you slip from purpose driven into autopilot. Take a deep breath, relax, and let’s get you back to where you belong. On purpose.

Hey, brands, welcome to today’s episode, I’m so excited to introduce you to my friend Asia, Asia Croson and I first met because she was actually one of my very first coaching clients back in 2012, or 2013. And I got to know her and just absolutely fell in love as you’re going to hear her personality is one of a kind. She’s someone who not only oozes talent when it comes to photography, but she’s an incredible human being who is using all of her strengths to create a life of impact, meaning and service. This episode is a fantastic one for anyone who is looking for the inspiration to be the best versions of themselves, and is trying to figure out how to put themselves out there without feeling all that fear. So take a listen to this episode. And let me know what you think on Instagram afterwards. Enjoy. Asia. Thank you so much for being on the podcast.

Asia Croson 2:00
I’m so happy to be here for the second time. Are we? Are we like allowed to tell people that?

Alex Beadon 2:04
Yeah, tell people. So basically, when I first started the podcast back Well, I first started recording episodes for the podcast back in December of 2017. And Asia was one of the very first people who I interviewed. And unfortunately, or fortunately, I think, fortunately. So true. We did our recording, and there was a lot of construction happening. What was it was in your building? Was it your neighbor’s? I don’t know.

Asia Croson 2:31
It’s just outside my building. It’s just like the plight of the world right now. Is it the whole, like our whole town has been under construction. So they’re oddly removing all of our parking lots and replacing them with hotels, which just feels like oh, and now we have no parking. And then there’s construction behind the podcast. So it’s, you know, it’s the worst, truly, it’s horrible. But I always like to say that God is the best secretary. And so he’s always moving things around in our favor. And we were just chatting before we recorded how that yeah, that’d be nine months ago. So many things have changed. And so I’m, we could have almost done that one and kept that content and read on a whole separate a whole separate episode. And it would have been two awesome ones. Totally, totally.

Alex Beadon 3:07
And I’m so excited to hear all about it. But before we dive into that, I’m going to ask you the first question that I asked everyone, which is, what do you find most nourishing about having your own business?

Asia Croson 3:20
Can I tell you that I like listened to every episode. So I knew that these were the questions that were coming, prepared for this. So I know that everybody says like freedom, I was just listening to promises episode. And that’s like, one of the things she said was like, okay, so people like know that freedom is super nourishing, but I wanted to get into a little bit more about like, why that’s so nourishing. And I feel like the first basic thing was like, I have the freedom to continue to nourish myself, since I run my own business. So I have like, of course, that’s like self care. And then with being like creatively fulfilled, I’m able to do that because I run my own business. So if I were working somewhere else, and I felt like maybe I couldn’t, I don’t know, take a break or I couldn’t do the things I need to do take care of myself, I wouldn’t be nourishing myself, or I felt like I was just, you know, working like a mind numbing job that’s also not nourishing. So I feel like really having the flexibility and the freedom. And then of course, one of my big why’s that I have my own business. So I can see my family, my sister, my nephew, and my whole extended family. They live up in Washington State and I’m California and so I’m able to go to go visit them and to go see them and that’s just like nourishing for my soul. So really the the freedom really is like the biggest the number one thing but it’s more than just like oh, I can like do whatever the hell I want. It’s the freedom to continue to nourish myself for sure.

Alex Beadon 4:34
I’m so curious what you said last time. I have a feeling you said something very similar.

Asia Croson 4:39
Oh my god, I’m sure I did. I know. We need to like listen and try to like, tune out the construction noise. Totally compare this so interesting. Totally. I would love that. I would so love that.

Alex Beadon 4:50
So for those of us who are listening and have no idea who you are, I would love for you to quickly tell us about what you offer your clients and how you might Make your money.

Asia Croson 5:01
Great. So I am a photographer. I live in the central coast of California, San Luis Obispo. And so I make all my money with photography, which is amazing. And I work primarily with young women, particularly sorority women out of the university, which is Cal Poly. And my main clientele is college graduation gals. And then I also do weddings, and also do braiding photos, and just so many great things with that. But over the last year, especially since we’ve talked recently, I am also I really hate saying calling this myself a philanthropist. But that’s really what it is. And I’ve been doing so many charity events in my community. And this year, my goal is to actually turn all that into a nonprofit. So I’ve always used I it’s a it’s a big deal. I cannot believe that wasn’t a thing in December. And now it’s definitely a thing.

Alex Beadon 5:50
You know, I feel like you had started doing it.

Asia Croson 5:54
Oh, totally. Because the funny thing like if

Alex Beadon 5:57
you were involved with the charitable organizations like I feel like that was definitely

Asia Croson 6:02
yes. So I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you the evolution of it. So I’ve always like my clap my, my social media platform. And just like my in person platform, I am all about like being out there and my community. And as much as like I want to put myself out there online, I think it’s just as important to put yourself out there where you live, always been super involved, I’ve actually never been involved with another charity organization, I’ve always just put on my own events. And I think that goes back to like the freedom one of my one of my biggest core values is autonomy. And so I just happened to find myself doing things on my own instead of initially connecting with somebody else, and then kind of bringing people to me to help me out. And so one of the biggest things that I’ve done is it just the clothing swap, and we bring all the clothes, you typically donate to Goodwill, and then we swap with each other. And then the remaining items, which is typically like 100 to 200 bags. So it’s so many items get donated to the women’s shelter here in town. And we’ve I’ve been doing that since since I was in college, it’s been a long time. And now it’s grown to having one time we had over 600 people come, it was humongous. And so we’ve always been doing that. And then another thing I do is called BYOB build your own business. And that’s for it’s not really just for women, but mostly it’s women who come to get them started on building their own business. And the tickets are just $8. And really, we just did that to make sure that people come because when people pay for stuff, they happen to more. But it’s really to invest more in the local like entrepreneurial woman side of the town. So those two and then the biggest one that I did in March, which is something that I was probably working on when we were when we did our first episode, but it hadn’t come to fruition yet. It’s called girls who handle it. And it is essentially an art gallery showing off Cal Poly women. So the university students who have dealt with anything, some of them really, really traumatic experiences, like boyfriends committed suicide, or their mom’s dying suddenly, or a sudden illness, etc, to things that are more commonplace, anxiety, etc. And then comparing that to their Instagram feeds. And really just like putting in your face that like everybody on social media is that’s like such a a farce, I guess. But it’s really as a highlight reel. And so we’ve been on this huge event where we had a picture of every girl and then two pages of their story, what they were really going through, and then their feet at that exact moment that those things were going on. And it was incredibly powerful. We didn’t it was one of those times almost like everything in my business where I started doing something. And then I realized like the impact it’s having or then I realized I started the business on accident or whatever. We didn’t realize it was a thing until we had about Yeah, that was was also about 600 people standing outside in the rain, wanting to come in, people were reading every single story that we had. And then people started donating. And we didn’t even ask for donations. And that’s when he has everything clicked for me. And I was like I have been doing all of these charity events and all of this like what would be considered like nonprofit work without being a nonprofit. And so I might as well like kind of make it official and really, like move forward with that. Wow. Yes, it’s been a big change.

Alex Beadon 9:16
That is amazing. It’s not a change. It’s more just like the direction has been unveiled. Unveiled. I keep using that word. It’s not a word revealed.

Asia Croson 9:25
revealed and unknown. Unveiled. It’s totally a word is it? Yeah, like it wrong. Okay, that’s not a word that’s true. Unveiled, revealed. Yeah, that’s exactly what it is like. And I kind of been joking. So John and I have been engaged since January 2017. So Oh, thank you. And I was joking to somebody recently, I was like, you know, my, my nonprofit is kind of like my marriage. Like we’re doing this thing anyway. Like the government just doesn’t recognize it. And that’s really how it is with with making everything that I’ve been doing you You know, I guess the goal is to make it into nonprofit but really having to discern why we want to do that. Because making into nonprofit doesn’t make it do anything different, like the three events are still going to be continuing on. So but yeah, you’re right, just having the direction be revealed and using, we’re all coming back to it, like my photography and my, my online and in person presence to, to bring attention to those things.

Alex Beadon 10:23
Yeah. Okay. So I want to get into everything. But before we, I feel like I need to kind of just bring it back to your business. And I really want to know, you got Okay, so how did you get started? Because I feel like you’ve done such a good job of really differentiating yourself as a senior portrait photography, which I feel was not something that was particularly big, where you were and when I say senior, I mean, like college students, yes. As opposed to like high school students, because I think the high school thing was the thing. Whereas what you created was specifically more for the college. demographic. Yes. So can you talk to me about that? Like, how did you figure that out? What’s What was your path with that?

Asia Croson 11:06
Yeah, that so for sure, high school, senior photos are like definitely an established thing. And college seniors we’re not. And the reason that I really pursued that is because that’s what I got started with. So I got started photography, my senior year of college with a girlfriend of mine who was graduating, I want to cut pictures and make her feel special. And so it was the only thing I knew in the photography world was like, I want to take pictures of people graduating college, because those people are my friends, and my friends, friends. And at the base of that I just liked making my friends and my friends, friends feel good. And so I didn’t have any kind of connection or like really motivation to pursue other things in the beginning. Because I was like, this is this is what I like, and this is what I do. And then I also connected so well with that, because I worked my ass off in college, I paid for my own way. And I really just became the person that I just like, fell in love with myself and my college process. I loved my friends I loved where I came to school in San Luis Obispo, and then I moved away for a year and coming back here and settling here. I love it here. And so I just felt like the end of your college career was so much more you than the end of your high school career. And though how I did that was so the reason I work so closely with sororities is because I decided to go through them to kind of funnel into the working with them one on one. And Alex, when you and I started working together, she doesn’t 13,014 When you were doing one on one business coaching 112 years ago, roughly. I know so long ago, I started doing this, this thing called fall photo off, which I’m actually currently in at this very moment where I take one photo of every single sorority house, and then I put it on Instagram, at the end of all the photos. And then they have essentially a liking competition on it. And it always changes and it was on Snapchat for a bit but it’s always been on Instagram, but now it’s just mainly centered on Instagram.

Alex Beadon 12:57
To be clear, it’s 100%, free like that, that part of it is free.

Asia Croson 13:03
Yes, yes. And all of that is free. So a free photo shoot for every single sorority. And actually this year, I’m really excited because what I did was offer them an upgrade, which is something I had never done before. And from like a business perspective, I was like, this is brilliant, because truly three shoot, but they were able to, to upgrade and get you know, more more individual photos as well. But the free photo shoot is just with the whole house. And then we do a couple ones of like first year, second year, third years, whatever, and then putting that on Instagram, and then they are putting it everywhere, etc, etc. And so that that has taught me so much about like guerilla marketing, essentially. And then also so much about giving free work, or however you want to call that this is really it is me giving them something for free. But just knowing that it’s planting seeds for them to want to come back to me, because I found that a favorite clients are the ones who I’ve thought about before. And so the more opportunity I have to photograph them in any other setting, the better. They are primed when they come to me later. And so yeah,

Alex Beadon 14:04
and that’s part of their like tradition. Oh, yeah,

Asia Croson 14:08
totally. I mean, it’s crazy how I’ve been doing this my sixth year doing it because I started in 2013 And so now it’s been a couple years where the girls are like, I met you my freshman year. Like I met my best friend at Fall photo off and I’ve been dreaming about taking my picture with you since then. And that is like oh my gosh, like moves me to tears like every time I like you don’t even know how much that means to me and like how cool that is. So definitely ingrained and I feel like it took a long time because like with everything you have to be consistent like the second year people still didn’t know what they were doing. And now I feel like it went by in the blink of an eye now I feel like all of a sudden I was well and they know who I am. But it did take a lot of work especially like you were saying in the beginning with the with the question was like it was a market that didn’t exist yet. So not only did I have to like essentially invent a market but I had to say oh and also pick me. So also do graduation photos, but also do them with me, not just with me. So,

Alex Beadon 15:06
so I want to connect some dots here for the people who are listening, if they’re thinking about like their own business and how to translate all of the concepts that you just shared, really what it’s coming down to is making sure that you’re inserting yourself into the conversation that that your ideal clients are having in some way, shape or form. And also making it really super easy for them to say yes to working with you, even if it’s initially for free. Knowing that you’re building that relationship, you’re planting the seeds, you’re investing in that relationship with them with the hopes that they’re going to see the value that you’re offering and providing and then end up choosing you as their photographer, or coach or whatever it is that you are in the future.

Asia Croson 15:48
Totally. And I think that I’m when I look back, I’m honestly surprised that the inside I was like 23, or something that like it was really playing the long game. I knew, like I wasn’t gonna get, like, let’s say that my first group of gals, I had, you know, a quarter of them first year, second year, third year, fourth year, I knew that those fourth years, were essentially not going to be my clients, because they only worked with me once. And I really was investing in those first year gals. And so I knew this was really going to pay off big time in four years, when they are in three years, whatever, when they were going to be becoming seniors and will have worked with me the whole time. And I was dead on the money with that. And when I had done it for three or four years, then I was completely fully booked. But I knew in the beginning, don’t get discouraged if this isn’t like immediately turn around with an insane amount of clients because they can only work with me at one point, which is a little bit different for other people, for like coaches, etc. Who can businesses can hire them at any time. But for me, I’m only doing graduation photos, so they can only work with me at a certain point. So I knew it was a long game to be to be priming them enough in the beginning to know that they want to know me like me and trust me to be able to hire me when they get to that point. But it really has planting seeds I think is so huge. I think there’s nothing wrong with and it’s better to play the long game for sure.

Alex Beadon 16:59
I love it. Okay, something else that I think you’re really good at is showing your personality online, like you went from blogging, and then you were making videos, and then you’re on Snapchat and Instagram. And so I’d love for you to share with us your journey of putting yourself out there online, and what the benefits were, if you had to overcome any hurdles. And yeah, just talk to us about that.

Asia Croson 17:24
Okay, great. So one of the questions you might be asking me maybe is like non negotiable stuff. And I have a separate answer for that. But that was one of the things that came up to my mind in the beginning was like sharing me and my life has always been like a non negotiable part of my business and part of my life. So from the very beginning, when there was no Snapchat and Instagram wasn’t like it is now because it was six years ago. It was about blogging. And so I used to blog and I loved it. And I started blogging before I had a business because actually, my blog was called because my grandma doesn’t have Facebook, because I wanted my grandma to know, like when I was doing because I lived in France for a year. And so no blog random things so that I could just connect with, you know, my loved one. And then I started I don’t know, at what point I realized that I’m kind of funny. I don’t know when that happened. And but then I started blogging, like really funny things that were going on. In my

Alex Beadon 18:17
videos, you’re like, you’re funny, but it also comes with a dash of wisdom, inspiration, like, I just love your vibe is so great.

Asia Croson 18:25
That’s so great. Thank you so much. Yeah, I used to, I would Yeah, I guess I would just bought funny things. But you know, I wasn’t super consistent with it. And so as soon as and then I did videos, which I also really loved and they were there was called taking shots, how to take shots the classy way, which I thought was incredibly clever. It was about obviously photography, and I really love that. But it was so cumbersome. It was like so much work. Oh my gosh, I mean, YouTube videos are a lot of like work in production. What’s that?

Alex Beadon 18:56
I said, it’s a commitment.

Asia Croson 18:58
Yeah, I totally is, oh my gosh, it’s such a blimp and I loved it. It was like it almost felt like more of a hobby. And it was so super fun. But then Snapchat came along and I was like, oh my goodness, I have like there’s all the cumbersome. pneus of it is now gone, I can just record it and then upload it immediately and no editing and no file saving and no exporting and importing. And it was like such a game changer for me. And it was really natural for me to share my life and my day on there almost immediately. And I remember in the beginning people would and I don’t think about it that much. I think that I have like a very thick skin against haters. I was bullied a lot when I was younger. So I think I’ve kind of just like learn to tune them out. But in the beginning people would always like make fun of me about like, oh, here we go again. You’re just gonna Snapchat like your walk to Starbucks and Oh, guess what, you’re at Starbucks again, or like whatever. And I’m like, Well, you’re the one watching. You don’t have to like every day like you know that I go to Starbucks every single day like you watch me enough to like be bothered by my ritual. Like I’m so sorry about that. Like don’t watch it. It’s not my problem. Um, but some people have asked me like, oh, you put yourself out there so much online? Do you know what do you how do you handle the haters? And I’m like, I’m do I don’t know, I’m sure I have any. But I don’t honestly don’t see them. Like, they don’t bother me. But so Snapchat was going great. And it was really being it was a huge part of my business. And I had once I started getting using a CRM, what is that called? Or a client management system? Yeah. I would ask people like, how did you hear me or what, what inspired you to choose me as your photographer, and so many of them would say that I follow you on Snapchat. And I thought that was so interesting, because the big difference between Snapchat and Instagram is, of course, not being able to upload photos that weren’t taking live. And so something I’ve done with Instagram has been able to put the actual photos peppered in with the behind the scenes. With Snapchat, I couldn’t do that. So I truly didn’t show off my work on Snapchat, people weren’t people were just seeing behind the scenes, they weren’t really seeing the actual photos, my actual work, which is what you would think, would make clients hire whoever it is. So not, that is so not true. I that is not true in any way, shape, or form. People wanted to get photographed by me, because they knew me like me, and trust me, and they wanted to be around me. And that’s what the experience they wanted to get their photos done. And now it’s so much easier with Instagram, because I can show off my work in addition to what it’s like to work with me, but it was it just really reaffirmed for me that I need to just be myself on Snapchat and or on whatever putting myself out there. And that will attract the right people to me. And also needs to do it in abundance, because I don’t know who’s paying attention and when they’re paying attention. And if I just like throw glitter up in the air, eventually I’ll catch something. And so doing it everyday consistently has been a huge game changer for my business. So Snapchat, then moved over to Instagram, I was incredibly resistant to moving to making the change because I had been doing Snapchat for like four or five years, consistently, it was like Snapchat queen. But I’m loving Instagram. Now it’s so different for sure. Like there’s so many like, psychological reasons. It’s such a different experience. But I’ve gotten a new routine, but I don’t do it. As the day goes on. I feel like it takes too much time. So I just sit down and do it for like 45 minutes at the end of my day, typically is what I do. And I don’t talk to the camera as much as I used to, which I’m kind of sad about I really miss doing that. So actually today a little bit I did but yeah, I used to talk to the camera all day. It was like a daily vlog but Instagram. So different, little more aesthetic. So working on the transition, but it’s going very well.

Alex Beadon 22:24
Is it interesting how it’s so different. It’s incredibly

Asia Croson 22:28
different. Like I could literally like write a book about it.

Alex Beadon 22:32
It’s funny, because it’s like the exact same format Instagram Stories versus Snapchat stories. But for some reason, what you would feel totally comfortable doing on Snapchat stories you wouldn’t necessarily feel 100% comfortable doing on Instagram stories.

Asia Croson 22:46
I think there’s like a different culture. Yeah, for sure. There’s also like an expectation because you can upload things later, you almost feel as if they should be higher quality, whereas Snapchat was like, it was just understood that you just snap the pic and you put it up there. Like you could put a blurry picture of like somebody running by with funny pants on and be like, Ha ha like those Funny Pants would never do on Instagram. Like that’s not a thing like relevance to your story. And so what I’ve been doing since starting Instagram, because I still have a couple, however, my a couple 100 People still following me on Snapchat. And so I’ve just been using Snapchat, it’s kind of like my camera roll, I’ll just take pictures and add it to that. And then I’ll save them from my snapchat later and kind of curate it into my Instagram. So yeah, it is so very different. But I enjoy it. I really like the potential in the opportunity to network with people that way to be able to tag them and, and show show off their stuff. You know, you couldn’t do that with Snapchat. And so I think there’s so much more a big thing that I’m just realizing is there’s so much more of a community on Instagram, Snapchat, I’m putting this out there, I have no idea what’s happening on the other end. But with Instagram, you know so much more and you’re able to connect so much more.

Alex Beadon 23:53
That to me was like the big thing about Instagram. I mean, besides the fact that everyone kind of left Snapchat. Besides that, yeah, there’s also the fact that like, you can actually see who’s looking at your story. And it’s not just like a random name. And then you go to their profile, and there’s nothing they’re like, you can actually file and see what they posted or see if they have a story and maybe follow them or leave a comment or it’s just so much more of like you said, it’s so much more of a community, which is awesome. So do not post to Snapchat at all anymore.

Asia Croson 24:27
Now I do the thing, like I said, I like use it as kind of like a camera. I literally just went in brief. And my story. I just added it all I don’t even look at it later on. And I was on there. And it’s kind of essentially a camera. And then because there are still some people who use it, but I totally forgot. Overnight, literally 90% of my followers disappeared. And then I would try to go watch somebody else’s story and I couldn’t figure it out either. So I was like, I understand why you can’t find me. So I Yeah, so that’s another reason

Alex Beadon 24:54
Oh, Snapchat. They really have thrown everyone for a loop in so many ways and like they’re really not listening to their are creators. It’s such a shame because I feel like they had so much potential like, and you and I both know, like, we were both hardcore Snapchatter

Asia Croson 25:08
Yes, we were, we were, we were doing so good with it. And I was just listening to your thing with promise. And she was talking about how she still blogs because she’s saying, you know, you have to go where the people are. And then they change their mind and blah, blah, blah. And it’s I mean, it’s such a thing. That’s still how was a Snapchat, but there’s always a replacement. So yeah, I feel I feel good about going like where the people are in. But I was I was very hesitant to move over to Instagram until it was like, wow, okay, I have to now because nobody’s like,

Alex Beadon 25:36
Yeah, cuz even last time we spoke, I think you were still more active on Snapchat than you are now.

Asia Croson 25:43
Very reads. It’s a very recent thing. I think I’ve learned to appreciate being able to do it all at one time. I feel like it really, with Snapchat, it was I mean, it was super easy. It’s not like it was really interesting in my day, but you didn’t have to add it immediately. So was even like minute interruptions, and I wasn’t as present. But with Instagram, you need to take a picture, you can do whatever. And then I have, like I said, like 45 minutes where I just sit down. That’s all I do. So I can really focus on it. And not have to interrupt like my experiences with other people throughout my day.

Alex Beadon 26:12
Yeah, I think that’s a big one for me, too. People ask me that all the time. They’re like, how do you? How do you post this and put so much attention to it and still be present? I’m like, because I don’t post it when I’m actually now they’re like, record it, save it put my phone away.

Asia Croson 26:27
Exactly. And they do it all later. Yeah. It’s way better that way, way better.

Alex Beadon 26:32
Okay, so my next question for you is, I’m trying to think what do I want my next question for you to be I have a list of questions. I remember last time, we spoke a lot about community. And I’ve, today, it’s been a day. Like I said, this is like my fourth interview of the day. So I feel like a lot has happened today. And I’ve not had a lot of the conversations that I wanted to have, because I ran out of time. So I’m like, let me just get to what exactly what is it about today, which is community like I feel like you’re someone who you’ve done such a great job of building that community offline. Sorry, online, and then made that translate into the offline space into like, the real life like actually here with you, in person. And it’s interesting, because I think your business as well lends very well to it. Because like, obviously, when you meet with your clients, you’re meeting with them in person, you’re taking pictures of them. So I’d love for you to talk to us about how you have cultivated such a high quality level of community, I think it’s something really special. It’s something I myself am not good at at all. Like I’ve spent my entire life moving, like pretty much every three years, like from country to country to country to country. And so I’ve almost taught myself to really not rely too much on my community. Because in the back of my head, I’m like, well, you’re leaving soon anyway. And now I’m at an age where I’m like, I want to have connections with people who are like, on my safe weight, same wavelength and who I’m really cultivating a special relationship with. So I would love for you to talk to me about that and how you do that.

Asia Croson 28:11
Yes. I think that’s also a big reason why you and Laura are so close. Still. Because yeah, she’s so is your community, and how awesome would it be if you guys could be in the same placement, why it’s so cool for like when she comes down there and stuff. So yeah, this is a huge part of I mean, I only I can’t even call it a huge part of my life because it just like is my life is, is my community and my network. And I so you have a podcast called face to face with Paige Poppy. And it was about your online space and then being face to face and how people who can run their businesses online. Like you also need to invest in the in person, community. And then on the opposite side, people like me who, of course, I need to have an online presence. But you know, since I’m meeting with people face to face, my online presence isn’t as important but I need to be investing in that also. So I’ve always really understood the that the crossover and how important that is. And I think so much of that has to do with one the fact that I’m an extrovert and so me doing it by myself is not sustainable. For me. Of course, I’m not like needing to be around people 100% of the time, but I do get energy from being around other people. And especially other entrepreneurs who are super passionate, super excited, I totally feed off that vibe. And so for me, it just makes sense that I need to set myself up for success and be around people like that. Because it just gives me more energy. And then on top of that, like you are the five people that you surround yourself with or the average job or whatever. And so I knew how important it was to surround myself with people who would be uplifting to me and to be able to see them like not on a daily basis but actually literally probably on a daily basis. I see someone like that and so I’ve really made sure to to pepper that throughout my day to connect with people. But as far as how I did that I think I’m why know that I’m Very good at discerning between, if I don’t want to call it just like someone because that feels like very surface level and judgmental, but like, do I feel like this is an awesome? Is this gonna be an awesome, like friendship and networking relationship or not? And I realize that until someone recently was like, that’s a kind of a personal question like, I feel like you have, you’re really good at setting boundaries, and you have really great friends. And I never met one of your friends who I don’t like. And I was like, Wow, what a compliment to me. Like, that’s so nice. I just like collected humans, but I think it’s because we all have a quota of time, like the quota of energy, like it is, it is limited, it’s limited in our days, and we’re in our lifespan, and the time that you’re spending with people who aren’t doing whatever it is they need to be doing for you, or like feeding your soul or whatever is time that you are not spending, finding the other people or spending time with or investing in other people who would be doing that. And so I think that I have a very like cut and dry snot system, I don’t even realize I’m doing it or I’m like, No, they were fine, but like, probably not going to do anything with them. And then I’m able to really hone in on the relationships that I love so much. But one of the things that that I’ve done is with we’re connecting with humans all the time, we’re talking to baristas, as a photographer, I’m a makeup artist, I was a photographer, my clients are buying their clothes from somewhere there is already built in in our lives, like a network of humans that we could be connecting with. And I’ve just realized, like, it takes 90% of effort to like talk to them in general, or to connect with them at all. And if you just put 10% more effort into that, then it’s going to be you know, 100% and a very big deal. And so you might as well maximize those connections. So if I’m talking to somebody at all, I’m wanting to connect with them. I’m talking to the races already, I’m already talking to the makeup artist. So I might as well like really, really maximize that connection. And that in itself has just been huge for my community.

Alex Beadon 31:51
I love that so much. I feel like you also do a good job of reaching out to people and being like, Hey, let’s go and hang out. Totally. Yes. And not even just people that you know, but like people that you maybe just found online.

Asia Croson 32:06
When I Gosh, cool. Sorry about that. Actually what she may know already. But my friend Amy Young, she actually I saw her first. I first saw her video through the spark lounge. Yeah, which is amazing throwback. And she is a life coach, and she’s a YouTuber, and I saw one of her videos. And I’m not a big YouTube watcher. I think I watch Alex Beadon AMI on and that’s literally on YouTube. I don’t watch. But I saw her stuff. And I just loved it. And I subscribed to her email list and like, whatever. And I was like, kind of like in her like fandoms fear for a couple months. And then I was like, I checked out her website, and she had no photos of herself on her website. And she’s so adorable. No, she said adorable. She’s gorgeous. I’m adorable. Amy is gorgeous. There’s a difference. So I reached out to her. And I was like, I feel like you don’t have any photos or you don’t have any photos of yourself. I don’t know where you live. But I live in California. I love your emails. And like her emails were just so clever. They were essentially like a different blog. And then it would say in the middle of it like, oh, you can read more about this on my actual blog. And I just thought it was so brilliant. And so yeah, I reached out. And I was like, if you have any photos, I don’t know where you are. But I’m in California, if you’re ever out here, and like right in the middle of the state. And I would love to do photos of you. And so I she brought me back like a month and a half later. And I felt like Beyonce had written me. I was like, Oh, my God, this girl is famous. And she just wrote me back like, dinged when I was driving. And I remember like looking at it while I was driving, which is like a big no, no, but I was like, I’m gonna pull over, I’m gonna read this whole thing. I was so thrilled. And anyway, so we connected over Skype. And then she went flying out here from Boston. He did her first round of photos. And now she’s been out here four times. And one of those times she sat here for two months. And now she’s my best friend who just here she just left a couple days ago. So my god that was like, I really feel like in something even with the sororities when I first reached out to them. It’s so intimidating to reach out to somebody who don’t know, especially somebody who has either a reputation or an abundance of women in one place like a sorority. It’s that you’re not familiar with and I think one of the biggest things I’ve learned is like, literally just reach out to anybody. Like they’re all humans, you know, like, the worst thing they can do is say no or just not respond like whatever. And that’s like really done well for me with connections being like, oh, that person seems like you know, they’re just too big of a deal for me or whatever and but you might be exactly what they’re looking for in whatever partnership you’re you’re trying to approach with them. And for me, she was like, I love your photos so much. Absolutely. And I was like, Okay, great. Amazing. Like let’s be best friends now. Perfect. So yeah, kind of like not being scared to do that has and I’m sure that it’s affected my life in so many small ways and put I can think of like five huge arrays that I’ve had. And I think that’s a, that’s a big thing to reach out to communities. Everybody’s human and nobody’s like too weird to reach out to or too big to reach out to or whatever. So yeah,

Alex Beadon 35:11
I just love that so much. And I love that you’re so extroverted. And it’s so funny because I don’t think I ever really understood extraversion until I started dating my current boyfriend, Nick, because like, you guys are just the best people.

Asia Croson 35:26
But so great, like a new science because I think there’s been a couple like books that have come out about like, what it really means to be an introverted extroverted, and it’s really about like, where you get your energy. It’s not about being outgoing or shy. And I think that it’s really for sure helps the introverted community because I think they’re starting to understand like, I don’t get it I like people but like, I’m so dad at the end of the day. And so they’re starting to really get a little bit of just more strength and being like, it’s okay for me to want to be by myself at the end of the day. But I think, at the same time for me, I realizing it’s okay, that I want to be with people like it’s fine. And how can I intertwine that that’s why it’s so beneficial to know yourself. That’s why getting older has been so fun for me because they’re fun, fun. And like you when you’re younger, you’re like, oh, getting to myself, like who the eff cares. But the reason why it’s so important is because then you can make life better for yourself. So knowing I love to be around people is me being able to fix my schedule to intertwine all of my friends. And you know, some other people, if I’m by myself all day, I’m like gonna fall asleep or something. So I can’t do

Alex Beadon 36:28
the opposite. And it’s so funny because everyone’s like, Yeah, I like you’re so extroverted. And I’m like, I’m outgoing. And like, I like meeting new people. And I like talking to people. But at the end of the day, I really like being alone. I like reading my book, I like being in bed. Like even today, my boyfriend right before this interview, he came up to me, and he’s like, so there’s this art exhibition happening tonight. And we should go and so and so it’s going and I’m like, Oh my God, that sounds so overwhelming. You’re like, no, no, like, I’ve been speaking to people all day long.

Asia Croson 36:59
Like, I cannot do that. And I totally get it and my fiance’s the same. He’s the most, the most outgoing and like entertaining. Oh, wow. Like the, like, he likes to entertain a lot. But he is like the biggest introvert. Like he needs to be by himself a lot. But he works from home by himself. So he naturally gets a lot of alone time, which I imagine that you would as well, because you’re interviewing. And so that’s why that’s why that works for you guys. Because you have you already have built in just like I have built in meeting with people and even my photoshoots, which is the core of my job is with other people. So I know that that works really well for me. And I know for that with other people it wouldn’t and that was a big thing. When we talked in December, I was making an ecourse about networking. That was a big struggle for me because I was like, this is a networking course for extroverts. Because this stuff is not going to work if you don’t like or not don’t like being around people. But if that sucks your energy at the end of the day, that don’t do what I’m saying because it’s not going to be good.

Alex Beadon 37:52
Well, I think it’s a balance because like for me, it’s like I know it’s healthy when I spend time with people I’m like when I actually make the effort to go and meet new people and whatever I always enjoy it you know, finding the balance of like, not like maybe your level of social and my boyfriend’s although social is like just not my level of social like you guys are like, a whole next level which is totally great for you guys. Have you done Myers Briggs Personality Test?

Asia Croson 38:21
Yes. And I am an INFJ Oh my gosh. Yeah, that

Alex Beadon 38:25
sounds about right.

Asia Croson 38:26
I am Who did we just looked at that the other day? Because investment just did hurt your family?

Alex Beadon 38:32
When a no no then you must be ENFP

Asia Croson 38:36
Oh, you think so? Okay. Oh, I literally just did it. I’m gonna Google it, please.

Alex Beadon 38:40
Because I NFP and it wouldn’t surprise me if we are the same.

Asia Croson 38:44
Okay, okay. You’re an extrovert, though.

Alex Beadon 38:46
I’m an extrovert, but ENFPs supposedly are the least extroverted of all the extroverts?

Asia Croson 38:52
Oh, I am an ENFP I am. I’m not an ENFP How did you know

Alex Beadon 38:57
that? Wow, here we are together. We are together.

Asia Croson 39:00
This is amazing. Okay, so I have this says that I’m extroverted. 91%. So Right. Like,

Alex Beadon 39:08
yeah, it’s interesting, because yours will say so your says your 91% whereas mine is like, I think 40% or something like that. Okay.

Asia Croson 39:16
Yeah, but I think that like that 9% still plays into my day, every single day. Like I love to have like my morning routine has to be like literally entirely solo. And I mean, I, I just have also built in time to like, be where I am by myself. And so I think that it is so important for every human to be able to spend some time on your own. I also as I’ve gotten older realize that I like my own company. I like being with myself. And so that’s been that’s such a joy. And so I don’t mind being alone at some point and that is very refreshing. I used to call it stare at a wall time. It used to be me, me for family and friends. And I’d be like, I’m just gonna go stare at a wall because I just need like, I’m not tired, but I just need to like stare at a wall. So I make sure I get in that as well. out, but for like energy and you know, I want to use the word ignition but like when I want to ignites or whatever I have to be around people, for sure.

Alex Beadon 40:08
That’s really interesting. Okay, so takeaway for everyone listening is to know yourself. I think that’s really what we’re coming down to here. Yes, no true,

Asia Croson 40:16
so true. And then like, make it happen. You know, like, the first, the first episode of my podcast when I’m by myself was like, pay attention to your life. And it was like, pay attention to the things that you’re doing and the things you surround yourself with, and everything affects you and everything matters. And there are some things that are draining you and like, they’re either my mom used to tell me that friends are either rocks or balloons, like they either hold you down, or they bring you up. And I feel like it’s like that with everything in your life. Like, the way that you dress, the way you present yourself, the coffee that you drink, like what you’re seeing when you’re sitting in your office. I think all of those things, it’s such we live in a very holistic life. And that’s one of the things like does it feel good for me to be by myself all day? Or does it not? And then, and then adjust from there, you know?

Alex Beadon 40:57
Oh, my God, I love that your mom’s quote about rocks and balloons?

Asia Croson 41:01
My mom, she’s so wise. And I think, why is your parents are?

Alex Beadon 41:05
That’s just the best quote ever. I love it. Okay, so I want to kind of just touch on your, um, like, in between two questions right now, like, which direction do I want to take? I think okay, I think I know what we want to talk about. I want to talk to you about your sense of confidence and your sense of self worth, like you clearly are a very confident person. Like you said, you were bullied as a child. So you had a thick skin learn how to deal with with negative confrontation? Maybe? Yes. What advice do you have for someone who’s like, yeah, it’s so easy for you because you’re extroverted and like, you have a thick skin and you can put yourself out there and you don’t care what other people think? Or say, what advice do you have for people who are struggling with that?

Asia Croson 41:53
I feel oh my gosh, I wish you didn’t see me right now. I’m like moving all my body because they’re just like, so I just hate it when people. It just breaks my heart when people don’t have the competence to do that. And I think they think it’s different for everybody else. They think it’s like, oh, it’s easy for you. It’s not as easy for me. And that’s and that’s not true in any way. It’s not easy for anybody to do things. It’s easier when you start doing it. That’s the difference a difference? Isn’t it? Because you’re competent? Because you’re not competent? The difference is the experience doing it? And I think one of the things depends on how I’m feeling when I have this conversation, like am I feeling like nurturing? And I’m like, No, everybody’s beautiful in their own way. And that’s like one thing. But another thing is like, how does it actually affect you as to what other people think. And so there’s like a little tough love thing. And like, let’s talk about this for realsies. Like if this person online he’s never met before, says you have an annoying voice, go throughout your day and tell me how that actually affects your life. Because it literally does not like it doesn’t at all it doesn’t. And the only time that it does is because you’re thinking about it. And that’s something that I’ve had to learn, again, from a super young age, that what other people will think about you only affects you as much as you let it in a very real sense. Not this like hypothetical sense. And like, it literally doesn’t affect me at all. Like when I was in school, I could still get good grades, I could still, you know, be a nice big sister, I could still it didn’t affect me at all, unless I was thinking about it a bunch. And so I think with confidence has been all about how I’m showing up like, am I showing up my best self? And if I am, then I’m feeling great about it. And if I’m not, then I’m not feeling super confident. And then also taking into consideration Am I showing up my best self considering my current circumstances, like, I can’t expect myself to show up my best self, if I’m sick, or if I’m whatever. But if I’m doing the best job I can in that exact moment, I have the right to be confident doing that. And I think that a lot of it also comes for sure from my face, because I feel like that, you know, God has my back. And I know that he’s like doing things so I feel confident in the plan and in who he’s made me to be. And so again, I really feel like competence is a right for sure. And really does come with experience when you try to, you know, tell yourself and you’ve taught me this so long ago from a YouTube video. Like you just go out there and you’re like I’m the best photographer in the world. And just telling myself that when they go out to shoot like I’m the best photographer in the world helps me so much is that I’m like, okay, as the best photographer in the world, what would I be doing right now? And then that really shifts shifts my mindset. And so yeah, you feel I think I answered your question. That was a

Alex Beadon 44:22
brilliant answer. I now want to ask you. Sorry, did you say something?

Asia Croson 44:29
Oh, I said funsies.

Alex Beadon 44:34
That’s great. I love that word. Okay, so I now want to ask you about how you manage everything. Like what is your time management look like? Because so you have the business going on? You’re clear clearly, like have a very active social life where you’re investing time into your friends and your family. You also are now starting a nonprofit organization. I would love for you to talk to me about like how Are you managing all of these different things? And I know that you also don’t you have like, monthly events?

Asia Croson 45:07
Yes. Well, we got a lot of things,

Alex Beadon 45:09
a lot going on. I remember, when we spoke, I was like, How does she do it?

Asia Croson 45:16
So, okay, so the monthly events are the BYOB thing that build your own business. And that’s kind of encompassed in, in the nonprofit stuff. But what I found going back to extrovert thing is so many of those things are so easy for me because they feed into me. And so like BYOB, the monthly thing is like, it’s not it doesn’t take away from it’s not like, Oh, my God, how do you have time and energy for that? That’s what gives me energy, and therefore gives me time. And so I love doing those things because of that. And when I have less on my calendar, I am I don’t want to say less productive, because productivity is not the goal. But like, I am less energetic when I don’t have as much on my calendar. Yes, exactly. And then therefore, fulfillment allows me to be a you know, a better photographer, a better business owner, a better leader. And so being busy is how I am fulfilled. But it’s not. I have learned that it’s not just about being busy, and that I’m very, I can I can say no woofer the best of them, just like I am very picky with my friends. I’m like, I’m like, No, I don’t want to do that. Like, no, thank you. And so that’s super, super helpful. But on a practical level, I like a slave to my calendar, and all the best ways, I put everything on my calendar, and it says like, chill, eat lunch, like stare at a wall. It’s whatever. I like, I’m obsessed with my calendar. And I love it so much. And it makes it easier for everybody else to know what I’m doing and what that can be involved in. So that’s like one thing that’s really huge for me. And then another is that I have so much help. Like, I cannot tell you how lucky I am that I have three interns. I have one editor, all of the people that I’ve connected with who but anyway, are part of my business, all are so willing to help me out. And I just don’t know what I did to deserve all of that. Like, they’re amazing dedication to me. But I’m not doing anything alone. Like I’m going on on photo shoots, and I have an assistant with me who’s taking behind the scenes photos and who’s like fixing her hair and who’s doing whatever. Not that I had those things in the beginning. But right now it looks like I’m doing so much on my own. And I’m not I have so much help. And so it’s really allowed me to to let them do the things either that are extra and fun. And I couldn’t do my own. I can’t take my own behind the scenes photos, or to do the things that were kind of draining my energy so that I can really focus on doing super well the things that I’m super good at, does shine your

Alex Beadon 47:41
energy.

Asia Croson 47:47
Really good question. Not much. I don’t really like watching TV. And I know like saw this quote the other day. And it was like for those of us that you don’t watch TV, like you could just go like screw yourself. And I was like, well, for realsies I don’t really like sitting and watching to me like I don’t really John would be like don’t watch a movie. And I’m like, I would literally rather stay with him like dude,

Alex Beadon 48:07
Asia, I’m just like you and make us like, let’s watch a movie. I’m like, Ah, we have to. He’s like, let’s go to the cinema. I’m like,

Asia Croson 48:16
actually so funny. I love going to the movies. And like sitting at home and watching movies. I don’t know what it is like, I feel like that’s like a bad thing. I don’t know, but I don’t so much. There has to be something that drains my energy. And I have no idea what it is. But But if if there are things I would say that I have, oh, here’s an example, calling photos, cold like going through them and picking which ones to add it that drains my energy. And it also anchors down my whole process because I’m like, Oh, I don’t want to do it. And then I don’t do it for like two days. And then I could have just been done editing by then. But I didn’t do the first process. And so that’s been something that’s now part of my interns if she does that, and so that’s like so super helpful. So all of the things that drain my energy, I have worked out of the system. I’m like, Oh, I don’t want to do it. And so especially if they could be beneficial for somebody else to do or it’s somebody else’s, you know, like, area of brilliance or whatever. I’m like, excellent. You do that you watch all the TV for me and I have to

Alex Beadon 49:14
I love that so much. Perfect. Okay. To wrap up this interview, I’m going to ask you the questions that I asked everyone. And I’m pretty sure the last time we spoke about this, I was like I should have some fancy dancy name for the for the wrap up questions, but I don’t so I’m still calling them wrap up questions. The first one is what is one thing you do that has been a non negotiable in keeping your business on track?

Asia Croson 49:38
Two things one, for sure, like I mentioned earlier is like sharing my life somewhere on some social media platform. I also like that because I like to look back on myself and like see what I’ve done. It’s kind like a fun diary. And then number two is having my 9% of introversion time in the morning and I’m by myself I have my coffee and I read my devotionals and I just like sometimes just sit on the couch and like pray or just like thinking Be silent because I know I’m not going to be quiet at all the rest of the day. And that really like, fuels me up for my day and helps me be like a better person to uphold a

Alex Beadon 50:08
quick question on that, because I know everyone listening is wondering how much time do you spend in silence or like just this thing that?

Asia Croson 50:16
Yeah, this is my favorite thing about that is it’s as much time is I have and so I think some people are like, you don’t have 30 minutes, and you can’t do it at all, it takes me five minutes to read my devotional. So if I have an, I can also always be late, some to something by five minutes, unless I’m catching a plane. So even if I’m running late, I will literally sit down read my devotionals because like, I will just tell my client like so sorry, I need to read my devotional like my devotional like, whatever, it’s fine. But when I wake up, and I have like, the time that I would like, is about 30 or 40 minutes. And that’s what that’s typically what it is. But even if I’m rushing, it is like literally non negotiable. Like I unless I’m catching a train or a plane, I’m doing it. So yeah,

Alex Beadon 50:53
perfect. Okay, share mindset, a mindset, set, share, I can’t speak share a mindset shift that has made the biggest difference in your life as an entrepreneur.

Asia Croson 51:08
Oh, my gosh, in my life, not prepared, I was prepared for like in my business. Oh, my gosh, in my life is that I don’t Is that I have so much power and my decisions. And who I surround myself with and what I do, and just realizing like, oh my gosh, I can change something if I don’t like it. In my life has been huge. And if I want to do something that I can actually do, it has been like my nephew, for example, lives in Washington, and I want to see him all the time. So I’m like, Okay, well, then I should just make that work for myself, because that’s what’s good for me. And so I do so I see him every six weeks. And so I know that’s like, for some people, like that’s a lot, whatever it is, and anything for anybody that they like, and it’s different from other other people, it might seem like too much or whatever. But I realize I have the power in my life to do the things that I want to do and set myself up to do that. And like I’m not a victim of any circumstance. And remembering that. And if I wasn’t, I would be able to rise above it. So that’s helped me shift my mindset, my life that I’m not stuck in any way I really can make my life the way that I want it to

Alex Beadon 52:12
that is so powerful. I love it. Okay, fill in the blank, the world would be a better place if more people knew

Asia Croson 52:19
how to take care of themselves. That’s what I think how to live it, it’s important to take care of yourself. It’s not selfish to do that, because you need to be filling, you know, filling up your own cup before you can pour into other people. And so again, paying attention to your life and what would feel good for you and that you need to take care of yourself first before you can take care of other people are sure

Alex Beadon 52:38
the book that changed my life was

Asia Croson 52:43
free. So five leveling, which is huge. In my relationship just in my life with other people. Um, you are a badass was so good. And then a long time ago, you talked about raving fans. Remember that book, such a big, those three are sure these highly recommend.

Alex Beadon 52:59
Amazing. And then lastly, this is my favorite thing. If you remember I asked every guest to challenge our audience to do something this week to focus on accomplishing something or taking some type of action step. So what is the one thing that you would like to challenge our audience to do this week?

Asia Croson 53:15
Oh my gosh, fun. Okay, so talking about community, I would challenge to, like start pursuing a new friendship or to like, realize the friendships that you have that could be maximized. And like made and something more and like, be really grateful for them. I have so many friendships, I’m like, Oh, my God, like you are such a big deal in my life. And just sitting in that gratitude is amazing. When if you feel like you don’t have that and going out and like seeking one person that you could pursue in that way. Total Life Changes such a big deal. And so just thinking about getting in the practice of connecting with that person for sure.

Alex Beadon 53:53
Asia, thank you so much. I love you so much.

Asia Croson 53:57
This has been so fun. Round two. Can we do it every nine months, every couple months. I’m down.

Alex Beadon 54:03
Oh my gosh, I just love you. I love your energy. I think you you always just shine and I just love I love the we have not even been in the same place ever. And I feel like I know you so well. And oh my gosh, so special. And so magic. And I just want to I just want you to know how much I appreciate you.

Asia Croson 54:20
Thanks, Alex. I so appreciate you for sure. Always. You’re welcome.

Alex Beadon 54:25
Thank you so much for being here on the podcast with us today.

Asia Croson 54:28
Absolutely. I cannot wait to hear it’s gonna be so fun.

Alex Beadon 54:33
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. If you enjoyed it, I would love for you to give me a shout out on your Instagram story or anywhere. Just letting me know what your biggest takeaway was. You guys have no idea how helpful and useful it is for me. When you message me telling me what your aha moments were telling me what it is that you took away from the podcast. It helps me understand what is most valuable to you and it helps Have me understand how I can be of the highest service to you. So if you could take two minutes to do that, I would really appreciate it. Thank you guys so much for watching. I hope to hear from you over on Instagram you can find me at Alex Beadon and I will talk to you again very soon. Bye

Oh my gosh you guys look how amazing this shrimp serata cocktail looks meet Beatrice an avid Instagram Stories user and visionary to her followers. I can’t wait till you guys try this out. Yes, I’m talking to all three of you. All two of you. Well, I guess I’m just here by myself now. Why don’t be a basic Beatrice on Instagram. Keep your audience wanting more by learning how to edit your Instagram stories like a pro. Visit www.gram-slam.com and learn these simple free tips that will have your friends impressed with your Instagram Stories for years to come.

#020 – Getting Real on Social Media, Why Self-trust is a Non-negotiable & The Importance of Course Correcting with Elizabeth DiAlto

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You want your audience to trust you. But do you even trust yourself?

This is the conundrum that Elizabeth DiAlto, former fitness coach turned spiritual counselor wants you to ask yourself.

“I think what’s really important are these foundational pieces of knowing yourself and who you are, and constantly honing in your own creative voice.”

Elizabeth’s raw and unapologetic approach to self-help and spirituality has made her a fountain of ever flowing creativity and a grounded voice to listen to. From her Wild Soul Movement workshops to her unfiltered podcast aptly named “Truth Telling”, Elizabeth is the mover and shaker you need to help create some forward momentum in your own life.

“I don’t empower people. I facilitate people empowering themselves.”

In this Podcast, you’ll learn:

  • The benefits of having structure in your day
  • Why feedback is essential to course correction
  • The core foundations of trust
  • Creating a morning ritual in 3 easy steps
  • Knowing when to follow your intuition

Loved this and want more? Check out our other episodes here.

Spark a conversation! Leave a comment below or say hello @alexbeadon on Instagram.

Stay Truthful with Elizabeth:
IG: @elizabethdialto
Website: www.wildsoulmovement.com

Transcript Available Below

Alex Beadon 0:00
In this episode I speak to Elizabeth DiAlto, a former fitness coach turned spiritual counselor, and comedian on how she structures her week as a business owner. On her nine minute morning routine, on how she is herself on social media, how she creates boundaries, and her relationship with consistency. We talked about how she uses intuition in her business, how she plans her year in advance. And most importantly, we talk about how to learn to trust yourself. This is a fantastic episode for anyone who wants to marry their intuitive side with their strategic side. And for anyone who’s learning how to really step into who they are as a business owner. This is on purpose. Do you ever feel like you’re trying to balance it all? nourishing your health while growing your business and living a life well lived? And no matter how hard you try, sometimes you slipped from purpose driven into autopilot. Take a deep breath. Relax, and let’s get you back to where you belong. On purpose.

Welcome to Episode 20 of on purpose with Alex Beadon. Guys, I’m feeling so delighted that this episode is going live today because it is with someone who is very near and dear to my heart, Elizabeth DiAlto. When I look back at my life, there are a handful of people who have been incredibly influential in shaping the person I am today. And Elizabeth DiAlto is definitely one of those people for me. She’s been a spiritual mentor to me and has played a crucial part in helping me discover how to connect inwards on a deeper level and really know who I am. I went on one of her retreats back in 2016. And it changed my life. Her podcast was one of the first podcasts I was ever obsessed with. I literally used to listen to every single episode. And so she really introduced me to the power of a podcast, and was the initial inspiration behind my own podcast that you’re currently listening to. She’s such a bright light in this world and being in her presence for the retreat was one of my favorite life experiences. It is such an honor to have her here on the podcast today. And I hope you love her vibe as much as I do. Be sure that if you do love this episode, make sure to tag us both when you listen to today’s episode, when you post it on your stories or wherever you post it. You can find her at Elizabeth DiAlto over on Instagram. That’s Elizabeth DiAlto on Instagram. Before I let you dive into today’s episode, there’s also one last thing that I just want you to note. We actually recorded this episode back in January. And since then, a lot has changed for Elizabeth, she has a much stronger focus on pursuing her comedy. And in this episode, even though she says that she wants to avoid having some type of visual theme on her Instagram account. She now actually has an Instagram theme that has more of a visual theme. So it’s beautiful to see how she gives herself permission to change and evolve and doesn’t judge herself for it. Or try to keep herself in a box. I think you’re going to love this episode, make sure to let me know what you think of it. Enjoy.

I’m so happy that you’re here with me today. On up girl. I

seriously think that like one of the main reasons I started this podcast is because I love your podcast so much. It’s just so glad to hear it. Yeah. So thank you. It is such an honor to have you on the show today. I’m super pumped. So the very first question that I’m going to ask you today is what do you find most nourishing about having your own business?

Elizabeth Dialto 3:58
Freedom? Oh, that’s

Alex Beadon 4:00
a good answer. This is the answer that I’m realizing everyone is saying to like freedom. What does freedom look like to you? Like how do you maximize the freedom? How what does that look like?

Elizabeth Dialto 4:09
Yeah, well, and I love that you asked what’s most nourishing about it because the way I’m built and my personality is like just like very inner authority driven very autonomous. So what’s nourishing to me is not to have to like compromise or sacrifice or deal with other people’s rules, requirements or standards because that I get very stubborn and very rebellious with that. So it’s nourishing to me to not have to feel like I need to like fight for my authority. So for me that looks like being able to the generalization is being able to do whatever I want with whoever I want whenever I want. But in practice what I feel like that sounds like I just do whatever I want every day and like c’est la vie 24/7 Not the case. It just is I choose like, I actually am a person with a lot of structure. Because what I found over the years is that the structure gives me room for freedom gives me room for creative expression allows me to actually do create and be how and who I want to be. So you know, for example, on a very practical way, it looks like I don’t really schedule calls on Mondays or Fridays, not with other people, like I’ll do internal do team calls, but no calls with anyone else, no coaching calls or anything like that. No group calls, no workshops, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday are like the call heavy days, if I’m coaching, if I’m running a live training or doing something like that, if I’m running interviews for my show, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and that just gives me space to have time for creation. Because here’s one of the things for freedom that I realized was so important for me as well. Being able to chunk things in ways that make sense to me. So if I’m doing podcasts, interviews, like all the time, kind of haphazardly, I have to move in and out of mode. So if I’m like writing, then I have to hop on a podcast interview. And then I have to go back to writing that second batch of writing isn’t going to be great writing. So to be able to choose blocks and go, Okay, I’m creating content during this time, I have coaching calls during this time, or I’m going to interview people for the show on this day, I only actually do podcast interviews, like one or two days a month now. So I can like be in the energy of the momentum of having the conversation, you know, so to me, the freedom to structure my time and create how it is that I create is like, that’s really what it looks like, I have plenty of space in the morning. I love doing like morning routine morning walks, I live by the beach, I like to go outside, I like to start my day by feeding myself. So then my energy for the rest of the day to do or create whatever needs to happen in the business. Is there. Yeah,

Alex Beadon 6:50
I love that you said that, that like you, you have the structure. And it’s almost like the structure allows the creativity like room to thrive. Yeah, I couldn’t agree with you more. And I also love that you said that you’d like to take the mornings for yourself, because that leads us nicely into a question that I’m absolutely dying to ask you. Because I feel like you’re the person you’re the perfect person to ask this question to. And the question is, as someone who has all of that free time in the morning, and you’re now at a point in your business where like, you’re not worried about the next paycheck, and like how you’re going to pay your bills, like seems like you got things kind of figured out by now. I’m wondering how that works for you in terms of you being able to, to structure? Sorry, my mind just got completely lost. That’s okay.

Elizabeth Dialto 7:44
Cuz you’re so excited to ask the question. Question. I do that sometimes.

Alex Beadon 7:53
No, okay. So, right, I’m really talking about like hustle and like, play and like you taking the time in the morning to like, get into the right energetic space so that you can show up in your business the way that you want to show up in your business. Looking back, or like, if you had to give advice to people who are just starting out, would you say that that is just as important when you’re starting out as when you’re like, really able to take the time because I know so many people, when they’re just starting out are like, Oh, it’s easy for you to say because like you’re making money now. But like when you’re not making money, and you’re super pressed for time. It’s maybe not as important.

Elizabeth Dialto 8:29
This is a great question. And the answer truly is, it’s actually more important, when you don’t have your money figured out yet. The reason why is because I know what it feels like to wake up in the morning and to first feel gripped by stress or anxiety about how you’re going to pay your bills. How are you going to keep this business going? Or you know, maybe some people are still like working at a job like how are you going to balance everything? How are you going to get everything done? And if that’s you, you have more stress and you have more anxiety, you have more fearful and you have more worrisome thoughts running through your mind. You need the time in the morning to set the day straights, get your energy, right get your mind right before you start doing stuff more, even more than people who like, quote, have it figured out, right? Because the if you’re bringing that fear, that worry that doubt that stress, that anxiety, if you’re bringing that energy to the tasks that you’re doing, that’s going to be the momentum you built. That’s why a lot of people get stuck in those places. I certainly I got stuck there for a while. Because I didn’t realize this I wasn’t I would be like I don’t have time for you to think I’ll do it if I get to it without realizing actually how important it was to study myself in the morning. And here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be this like intricate morning routine. I have bare minimums because there are days and sometimes it’s not even that I have so much to do. It’s just that the creative energy is flowing and the stuff is coming and I’m like Okay, I gotta get to the computer now because the flow is happening. So I just have a bare minimum. Like, I could spend three hours on my morning routine if I wanted to, but it very a bare minimum, I have like this 10 minute practice that I do.

Alex Beadon 10:03
And so for you, if you’re giving advice to someone and keep in mind, a lot of people listening probably don’t even have a morning practice aren’t even aware of like, the benefits or what they should be doing. So what would you recommend someone to do or focus on for those 10 minutes?

Elizabeth Dialto 10:20
Yeah, actually, I have, I have a nine minute morning ritual that works really amazing. So I’ll even give you an extra minute back, people can just go to wild some movement.com forward slash ritual. But I’ll explain it to you. There’s three parts to it. There’s just like breathing, just breathing, getting into your body. And this, this isn’t just like a female centric practice. This is for men and women, this is about getting present in your body and with yourself in the to start the day. And then there’s a little bit of movement, just moving your body, it doesn’t have to even be exercise. You know, for my for my female clients, it’s more sensual movement, which here’s the thing. If there’s any men listening as well, it doesn’t have to be feminine, sensual movement, but just something that like, moves your body in a way that like brings energy into your body, your you know, you just woke up, even if it’s just some stretching, if you like yoga, maybe it’s like a tiny bit of yoga, that that’s part of actually my mandatory 10 minutes in the morning, I’ll just do two sun salutations. That’s it just to that brings tremendous peace into my system. And then journaling, what’s good and what I want. Because I know how a lot of people’s minds start in the morning, everything I need to do everything I didn’t get done yesterday, I’m already behind. This isn’t good enough, all that kind of stuff. So we just shift the focus to what’s going really well. And what do I want? So we’re focusing on what’s already present that’s working, and what are you working towards. So those three things breathing and getting your body moving around a little bit, however, it is to just like, get present, get here, nourish yourself, you’re also communicating to yourself subconsciously, that you are just as worthy of your time, love, energy and attention as everything and everyone else. Because if you’re immediately going into checking your phone, going on Instagram going on Facebook, the subconscious messages, everything in the external world is much more important than the internal world. And that’s not really gonna help you build sustainable growth, business, income, lifestyle, or really anything that you want.

Alex Beadon 12:19
I love that. And I love that brings us nicely into the next thing, which is about social media and the relationship that you have with social media, because I think you’ve done such a good job number one with I think you started blogging, because to be honest, I can’t remember when I started following you. But I think when I started following you, you were just blogging, then you started the podcast, then you started getting into Instagram, because I know at one point you were and now you are definitely more posting and active. And at the same time, it seems like you do a good job of keeping your distance but still engaging with it enough to keep people interested and to allow people to have a connection with your message and your business and what it is that you do. So can you talk to me a little bit about that. And the evolution of that?

Elizabeth Dialto 13:05
Yeah, I love this question. Because it I’m still in the evolution of that. Because, you know, it’s funny, this kind of goes back to the first thing like that freedom and how I rebel against like other people’s rules. I’ve tried, especially with Instagram, I’ve tried to get into like, doing what people tell you you’re supposed to do on Instagram. And I just can’t like the curated feed where like every other picture is like perfect, and it looks like this. And it looks like a checkerboard. I actually love other people’s. I’m like, This is amazing. I just can’t do it. Yeah, I’m not built that way. Because it’s too plan. It’s too contrived. In some cases. It’s just not my game. Yeah. So. But what I realized and also too, so there’s two parts, there’s like the engaging and the choosing what to post. But then there’s the checking. Yeah, I go through phases where I might find myself in this like phase of incessant checking, and I’m like, this is a problem. Why am I doing this. And so I’ve taken some breaks. Most recently, I took like two and a half weeks off social media, it was glorious. And I realized that I wasn’t checking social media all the time, I had more time for studying, learning, the things that I love to do to hone my craft and my skills. And also, you know, my inner my inner own work, you know, reading books that I had been wanting to read watching videos, writing a lot more writing, because you’re correct. I used to blog way more I started the podcast, I basically stopped blogging. And so now I’m getting more into writing and also finding my voice in a different way. And what’s cool about social media is on Instagram, I’ve never been one to just like post the picture with like a short caption. I write on Instagram, like I’ll write meaningful posts. So in a way over the last few years, treating Instagram that way, I didn’t even realize this until recently, has also been like a creative writing practice and platform for me, that has helped me to find my voice. Because, you know, I like anyone. I’m a dynamic person. So I have an intellectual side I have a spiritual side. I Have an outrageous sense of humor, I find a lot of ridiculous thing to be so freakin funny. And like, That’s My nature, my nature is to goof around much more than it is to be serious. Yeah. And I’m also like, deep, but I’m also reflective. And I get to express all of that in whatever way I feel like on Instagram. So people get to see that this is a real dynamic person. And it’s funny, because I was also reflecting on this recently, like a year and a half ish out of a relationship. And I had been with the person who was like, just couldn’t was really triggered by my full expression. And I remember, I posted this really hilarious thing on Instagram one day, and I literally remember the day and the post when he was like, I don’t think you should post stuff like that. I don’t think people are gonna take you seriously. And for whatever reason, I believed him. And I started scaling back on expressing that part of myself. And then what’s hilarious once I got out of a relationship, and I just like kind of just was able to go back to being me because I wasn’t being criticized all the time. by another person who lived in my house.

I realized that it’s like people’s favorite thing. Yeah. A big part of who you are, it really

is. And so you know, we all have our relationship. I was I had some codependency stuff I had to work through. And so now that I don’t do that anymore, it’s really fun. And it’s really cool. And it’s really encouraging to see. And I love that Instagram now has this highlights feature, but because people ask me all the time, they’re like, can you please just like record your laugh. And so what I’ve started doing is saving and pinning the and highlighting the Insta Stories where I’m like laughing and being ridiculous. So I have, I have three highlights on my Insta Stories. Right now I have Beach, because people love what I share, like beautiful. I live in Malibu and by the beach. I love nature is a big part of my life. I have laughs and I have dolphins, because dolphins are amazing. Yeah,

Alex Beadon 16:51
three great things.

Elizabeth Dialto 16:53
And so in terms of the evolution, but like those are kind of always the things that I’m figuring out, what is the appropriate balance and integration for where I am right now. And for what feels important to me. You know, my message is always evolving and expanding anyway. So, you know, there was a while but I was like, I’m not gonna post memes anymore. And I was like, there’s so much great content that is really in line with, you know, what I believe in? And what is my message? And like, why not? Like, I like sharing? Why would I not? Why do I feel the need to create everything from scratch when there’s so much great stuff already out there. So that’s the phase that I went through when I was like, I can’t share anyone else’s stuff. I need to be original 24/7. And I was like, Nope, there’s so much great stuff. So I’m constantly saving, I love that quote, I love that meme. Like I’m constantly stockpiling stuff. So I can share it again later. And what also is a place where I’ve had to experiment and realize what are my boundaries is in responding to people’s comments. So even today is even a great example, at the time of recording this, I posted a quote from a recent podcast episode of my own. And a friend of mine asked me to elaborate on it. And I was like, I’m not going to do that. Like, I don’t want to, I don’t need to like I don’t owe people any kind of explanation, like, what actually makes them one thing that I have the time or the desire to like spend 15 minutes explaining my quote to them on Instagram, like, go listen to the podcast episode. And I don’t say that to sound like a jerk. But it’s like it’s a boundary because some people do that. Some people are they’re just like on social media all day. And to me, that’s not a way I feel a need to engage with people. That’s why I have a podcast, I have a lot of free content for people. So that I’m happy to go here do this. And maybe I feel that way. Because I also have a lot of clients, I run programs, I run teacher trainings, I speak I run live events, I’m creating a lot of stuff. So it doesn’t make any sense to me for free to take time to over explain myself to people on my social media platforms. It’s just that it’s not how I roll. I have no judgment, if that’s what you want to do. I’m not interested in spending my time like that.

Alex Beadon 19:01
I love so much of what you just said number one, I love how you were like, I know there’s so many like strategies and things I should be doing on Instagram. But like that’s not for me. I like that you’re just doing it in your way. Number two, I like that you’re like, consciously thinking about how to inject your personality, like how to actually use the the format as a way to express yourself. I think so many people are just like, so busy looking at what everyone else is doing and like how like trying to strategize how to stand out or whatever. And it’s like, actually, if you just be yourself and just have fun with it. Like that’s, that’s really all that’s required and like, inject your message into it. You’re good to go. So yeah, I loved all of that.

Elizabeth Dialto 19:46
Yeah, yeah. And then what I started to do recently because I just had such a desire to spend less time on social media is I hired someone to like do the posting for me. And I created a team account. So I’m actually I just started So I’m not all up in it yet, but I’m gonna actually phase out of responding to comments and DMS and stuff, I probably won’t ever phase it out completely because I like it. I enjoy it. It’s like fun. And I enjoy that interaction. But in terms of like, if people are asking for like resources, or where’s the link or whatever, like, I don’t need to respond to that, but nor am I interested in having someone respond as me. Yeah. To me, that feels inauthentic. So we created a team Elizabeth account. And so if you follow me on Instagram, you’ll be seeing that sometimes I’m not gonna respond. But you’ll see someone on my team being like, Oh, hey, you can find that over here. Because it’s just like, that’s not a high leverage activity for me to be an Internet Librarian for people.

Alex Beadon 20:44
And, and a librarian, that’s brilliant. Okay, great. So talk to me now about your relationship with consistency. And like constantly having to put out podcast episodes and like just trying to be consistent with the content that you’re putting out.

Elizabeth Dialto 21:01
Yeah, so this was back when I was blogging, and I had a YouTube channel consistency was really hard for me, because I felt like I was having to force myself to do stuff. Ever since I started the podcast, consistency has never been an issue for me again, because I love the podcast. And it’s like really Zona genius for me. So it’s just easy. And, and over time, we’ve just developed better systems and structures like like, even now, I’m only doing podcast interviews, like maybe two days of surely one day, but maybe an extra day, out of the month. Because then things are batched. They’re done ahead of time. I can record the intro separately. Like I write all that I write on my own copy anything you ever read on my website, or my things like I write my stuff myself. And that’s important to me. And so the consistency is easy for me because we batch things. But I was doing things a little more haphazardly. Anytime I find myself under the gun, that’s not great. That’s not going to be when I create my bad stuff. So with the podcast, we’re usually batched out minimally one month, and so we’re always at least four to six weeks ahead of ourselves. So whenever crunched for time, whenever under pressure, you know, we have plenty of time and space for everything to get done with all the moving parts. So that’s really easy to be consistent. And then what I’ve done now with Instagram is I’ve just, we, what we post on Instagram, we post on Facebook, I don’t really have a Facebook strategy, because I don’t I Instagram just feels more enjoyable to me. So we just like post everything on Facebook, every post on Instagram. But I just I for me, it was easier to organize by having some general themes. So on Tuesdays, Tuesday is the day that for my posts, I like to share some kind of like really beautiful, like awe inspiring nature. And whether it’s a picture I’ve taken myself at the beach or whether it’s something I find I follow all the like the ocean, the National Geographic, the nature accounts, I follow all of those on Instagram. So I’m constantly stockpiling pictures from them. So today’s the day that I like to share something like that. I do feel good Friday, where it’s like funny and heartwarming memes all day. Wednesdays are like wild. So Wednesday, so we’ll share maybe we’ll do an Oracle reading from my Oracle deck. Or maybe we’ll share a quote from the Sunday sermon podcast episode. You know, Mondays, we always post a quote from our most recent podcast episode that just went up Thursdays now we since I do two different types of podcasts episode a week, we’ll share a little snippet, a clip, an audio clip from the Sunday sermon, or the Monday podcast, I don’t remember which one, but it just gives us a second chance to share the podcast and in a different way to encourage people to like go check it out if like that, quote resonated for them, or whatever. So we’re basically mining quotes from our own stuff. And using that as well to populate the Instagram, as well as just like having some posts throughout the week where I’m like sharing something about myself or something that I do and then asking people like, what do you do for this? Like, where do you go to reconnect to yourself? Or, you know, what’s your favorite thing to do in the morning? Or like, what’s something ridiculous that made you laugh until you thought you’re gonna pee your pants? You know, like, thought you were gonna die laughing. So, yeah, those types of things. And again, for me, just having those little themes and those little things to weave in throughout the week is just it gives me the space to express what I’m wanting to express in the with the dynamics and the the fullness of expression. But it’s not contrived. Yeah. And here’s the other thing, if it’s even in the plan, even though I’m having someone posts for me, throughout the course of the week, there’s a couple spots where it just says spontaneous by Elizabeth, right. So it’s like, it’s still built in whatever I feel like posting that day. It’s not just like, Oh, I saw a friend of mine showed me like her her social media plan. And there was this one category that was called like, personal share. And I’m like, Well, I’m not going to do that because I’m not going to queue up a vulnerable post just because it’s Tuesday. At 3pm, you know, and again, I don’t have judgment for that. And you know, but like, that’s not how I roll. So it needs, there’s still probably, if we’re posting, I don’t know how many times, maybe 1215 times a week on Instagram. Four or five of those spots about a third of it is spontaneous, right?

Alex Beadon 25:20
I love how just listening to you talk about your business, I feel like you’re a business artists like you treat your business like art. You’re like, this works for me, this doesn’t work for me. And you really make it customized to who you are, and the way that you want your business and life to be reflected. So my question is, Have you always been that way in business? Like, what was the aha moment where you were like, Oh, I don’t have to do it the way everyone else is doing it or whatever? Like, I’m sure you must have grown into that. Yeah.

Elizabeth Dialto 25:51
So I’ve always been, I’ve always been myself. I actually remember it’s, it’s rampant now. But a couple years ago, when people first started talking more about authenticity, I remember being like, What the hell is this about? Like, why? Who needs people to teach them how to be themselves? Yeah, I didn’t get it. Because I always just was myself. I was always comfortable being myself. But then I, what I began to understand was that a lot of people were not didn’t have that kind of confidence for all kinds of reasons to do with, like, their self esteem, their upbringing, you know, was their home encouraging when they were young? Were they encouraged to be creative or not, you know, all kinds of things. And I was like, okay, cool. So I developed a lot more compassion for that. But I also realized in business there’s, we’re learning so much constantly, like, the same way we have to, like unpack our childhood core wounds, to be like healthy, emotional, and responsible, mature adults. I feel like an entrepreneurship, it’s similar. So like, my, my entrepreneur, linear, my entrepreneur lineage is Marie Forleo. I did the school, I did Marie’s mastermind back when she was still doing it. That was the that was my first place I learned about entrepreneurship. And so as I’ve grown and developed over the years, I’ve also had to on wind, some of the stuff that I learned from, like Marie, and friends, that just doesn’t resonate for me anymore with where I am. And again, it’s not making those things wrong or bad. But it’s just going, okay, cool. Some of it works for me and my personality and who I am and how I’m built and how I want to do things, what feels in alignment for me, some of it really does it. And I go through phases, like, I’m basically always experimenting, going, does this align right now? Or does it not? Right, and I’m willing to go back and forth and do things, you know, and there’s also with different customer avatars for different programs, it does make sense to communicate certain ways. And in other ways it doesn’t. Something I also really realized is that, like, I grow and evolve, spiritually, and personally, I’m like, constantly working on that, because I love it, it’s just part of who I am. I also have to really make the effort to tap into where my people are at. And make sure I’m not just trying to take them on the journey I’m on. But I’m going where are they and meeting them where they are. And I think social media is an amazing opportunity to keep our finger on the pulse of where our people are, by using it as well to kind of like, do little little mini surveys all the time, where postings until like, agree or disagree. I’m constantly paying attention to where my people are, like, their level of consciousness experience perspectives, what’s triggering for them? What do they get really excited about? Is that make sense? So yeah, a lot of it is social experimentation.

Alex Beadon 28:30
I want to dive into that before I forget about it. Because that was just so I love what you said how you’re like you, you’re focused on where they are at and like, what their level of understanding is, so that you can best serve them. And social media kind of helps you connect the dots in that way. But also, it’s interesting, because as a business owner, especially for me, like sometimes it’s like, I just want to kind of like always be talking about what excites me and like what I’m really intuit that at that time. So is it that you just made like this conscious decision that like, this is what you’re focused on? Like, and how does it evolve? Like, where do you draw the line between like, I want to bring people up with me?

Elizabeth Dialto 29:10
This totally relates to the question you asked me before this about, you know, learning and unlearning, as if through entrepreneurship, right? Because there are things that people say that you should and shouldn’t do. Yeah. You know, so one of the things that I realized is this piece of advice that until you’re something you’re nothing, meaning, it makes more sense to be like I do women’s empowerment than like, I do Self Help for everybody. Yeah. So I think what’s really important are these foundational pieces of knowing yourself and who you are, and constantly honing in your own creative voice. And part of that comes from staying connected to and constantly refining your value. I’ll use your priorities and your message. And knowing like the core elements of your message. So for me, core elements of my message are always everything you’ve ever needed. It has always been inside of you. So I really believe empowerment. I don’t empower people, I facilitate people empowering themselves. And that’s very clear through my work, I’m not trying to be a guru, people treat me like when people put me on a pedestal, right, and that’s okay, they’re gonna do that, I had to get used to that, I would try to constantly be like, I resisted it for a really long time. And that might ease my message a little bit, but I was like, human nature, they’re going to do it, I’m gonna let them because I trust myself, I know, I’m responsible, I’m never going to take advantage of people, I’m never going to abuse that power. And I’m always going to so part of my messaging is always reflecting back on to people reminding them that like, it’s, it’s everything is inside of you, it’s yours. So that’s a core part of my message. The Value Trust, the value of trusting yourself and trusting in life is a core part of my message, the value of knowing the difference between judgment and discernment, a core part of my message, the body is sacred core part of my message, right? compassion, kindness, forgiveness, generosity, core values for me and who I am freedom, justice. And then truth telling storytelling, yeah, sharing responsibly, though, right? Not like oversharing not doing the whole, like, I need to be vulnerable for a minute. Again, I’m not judging that for people who do that, it’s just not my style. Because to me, there’s a line between when we are being genuine, and we’re when we’re performing. And so that’s not my style, you won’t catch performance on my stuff. We go through phases, we go through phases to try things out. Sometimes we overshare. And then we have the vulnerability hangover. And we’re like, Ah, that was too much good to know, you know, so we could just like, it’s like constant course correction.

Alex Beadon 31:56
Okay, so I want to talk about how you use your intuition when it comes to your business, because I have a feeling you use it for probably everything, but more specifically, when it comes to like planning your year, or when it comes to planning for the future. Like, what is the difference between, okay, I’ve made these plans, and I’m going to stick to them. And like, Okay, I’ve made these plans. But now that I’m actually here, I’m going to change my mind and do something different. What is that like for you?

Elizabeth Dialto 32:22
Yeah, similar. The last thing I said, there’s constant course correction. So what I have learned to do is to plan like the big rocks, and also my business model is in a place, I think this is a cool conversation, there’s a difference between being a person who has a lot of offerings and being a person who has a business model. And for many years, I just had a lot of offerings, but I didn’t have a business model. And in the last three years, I’ve really been tweaking and honing the foundation of the model. Because once the foundational things are in place, and there’s like consistent revenue coming in, you then can know like, what we need to hire people, we need to do more things, we can’t do everything. If I don’t have the revenue for it, right? Like even this year, our revenue is higher than it’s been and the people I need to hire, I can’t nest I don’t necessarily have the budget to hire everyone I’d like to hire right now. So we have to prioritize, we have to pick and choose. And so what is helpful is to focus on service number one is the most important thing, but also be smart enough to go What’s the easiest path to cash, if we’re needing some more support, what’s the easiest way to be in service and make money. So even I had taken a break from one on one clients. And I went back to it because it’s the easiest way for me to just like inject some extra revenue. And so I just I had to rework how I work with one on one clients, so that it feels like find it exciting for me. And it actually is a service. And it’s not just like, I need money, who wants to work with me. Because if the energy are coming from as I need money, that’s not really that’s not attractive. So I had to kind of like, come back to, you know, being willing to do some things that aren’t necessarily like my highest excitement, and figuring out how to get them to be really exciting, so that I could do them so that we could fuel the things in the business because I invested so much in the business last year, like I haven’t done the tax break down yet, but I probably just broke even last year, I don’t think I had any massive kind of profits last year, because it was just like, back in the business back in the business. It was a very growth oriented Yeah, like, put the money towards what will grow the business like building the foundations. We also deconstructed a lot of stuff to reconstruct it. And so I share all that so long winded answer to the question, because it’s not just black and white. You’re constantly growing and changing. You’re constantly growing and changing often will launch a program and be like, Oh my god, I hated that program. Yeah, the content was awesome, but I hated doing it. How can I do it in a way that’s still a good service and valuable for people, but delivering it in a way that’s more aligned For me, that makes more sense for me. And so I’m tweaking and stuff like that. So we’ll put the big rocks in the calendar. The other thing is, I’ll commit myself to the year, I’ll be like, this is the plan, we’re gonna do it. Even if I have to, like finish out the year kicking and screaming, because we’ll learn. And then we can correct course next year, I what I had done earlier on in my career that was really not helpful, was constantly just like kind of flying by the seat of my pants or being too, too spontaneous, and not giving myself the chance to feel something out. Because I don’t know if anyone listening here, if you haven’t done it, it’s well worth it to do the Colby index. So you can see like how you actually, Colby is an assessment that helps you see how you are productive. I have high quick start. So my energy is really high in the beginning of a project, but towards the end of it, that’s when I start to taper off. My team knows that about me. And it’s their job to get me across the finish line. Right? You know what I mean? So it’s important, again, to know yourself and commit to things for a long enough term in your business to go to even know if it worked or not. Because sometimes, like the first time you run a program, that’s not necessarily indicative indicative of how it is. Yeah, because there’s a there’s a magical element always. So the first time you do anything, so to run something a second or a third time, and then be like, Oh, okay, I see, here’s what we need. Here’s what we could do a little better. And something I hadn’t also done that I was really lazy about the first few years was I wasn’t serving my people. Now we survey people a couple times a year in general, the audience, but then programs like as soon as they’re over, we’re like sending out that survey, we’re getting the feedback, what was good, what needs work, and we’re willing, there was like a little ego involved. For me. This was like a fun spiritual bypass. Like, right? No, I really felt like everything was divinely inspired. And I’m surrendering, and I’m just like, trusting what wants to come through. But that also meant that I wasn’t necessarily paying attention to what people were telling me was effective or not. Yeah, I was just doing what I wanted to do. Which answers part of your question as well, instead of going and what’s effective for people? And how can I also consider that people learn differently. Some people want to read the transcripts, some people want the audio, some people want the video component, some people are going to be in a Facebook group, some people are never going to be in a Facebook group. So how can I have all these different supportive elements so that depending on how people learn, they can still engage with what I’m creating, yeah, in a way that’s going to be impactful and effective and useful for them.

Alex Beadon 37:30
If you’ve created something, and you have a plan, you’re going to launch it and whatever, at some point in time, during the launch, you’re like, Oh, I really don’t want to do this, like, this just feels icky, but you’re sticking to it. And you’re like, pushing through, what is the process of bringing yourself to alignment, even though you feel all of that resistance.

Elizabeth Dialto 37:56
So I don’t, I don’t have the experience of launching an actual thing that I didn’t want to provide. But I have the experience this happened last summer of during my launch, realizing that some of the marketing wasn’t aligned for me. So I just straight up, called it out and corrected course right in the middle of it. And that’s me. And that is also me being in alignment with my message, right? Because that was during my wild soul movement launch. And that program is all about connecting to your intuition and trusting yourself. Right? It was really easy for me to send out an email to be like, Hey, y’all, I’m actually not comfortable with this thing that I said on the webinar the other day, and it would be very hypocritical of me to have this intuition and not share it with you and not correct myself. So I’m sharing this if it’s a turn off for you, cool. But you know, for everyone else who’s on board, you know, here’s, here’s the deal, like everyone, everyone can have this bonus, it’s not just for the people who can make it live.

Alex Beadon 38:50
I love how you have such like this deep trust and faith, or at least it seems to be that way. And maybe now it’s easier for you because things are going better in your business. But when you were just getting started, because I know you had a pretty different journey when you first started, you started out in fitness, and then kind of moved into this more spiritual path. But when you first started and you were struggling to make ends meet or struggling to hit the numbers that you wanted to hit, how did that faith and trust play out for you? Were you just as as faithful then as you are today?

Elizabeth Dialto 39:29
No, no, no, I wasn’t that because this is part of that this is part of the work. So there’s that saying you teach what you need to learn. And you know, you’re you’re I think, are you in what? I know you came to one of my weekends, but are you in wild some movement? Do you have the program to or now I do. Okay, cool. I thought you did. So you know, two of the first sections of wild some movement about surrender, release, trust and receiving. And so that was really medicine I needed. And so through my own work through my own program and developing that stuff, I learned how to do those things. That was not the case for me. I wasn’t I was still very much in my original conditioning that of like, there’s never enough, right? It never was really, for me so much like, I’m not enough, but it was like there’s, there’s, it’s there’s never enough money. And really just like I had some real scarcity mindset stuff going on. So I had to I had to I had to work through that stuff do a lot of like forgiveness and emotional release and stuff around that to get to a healthier place with money, and healthier relationship to money and visit. And so. And that all really helped me to just be more faithful. So even now, you know, and again, just because a business is doing is generating more revenue doesn’t necessarily mean it’s generating more profit. So last year for me, it was a big year, it was a year of lower more revenue, but lower profit, because it just like a couple of things that I had planned. And again, I’m always experimenting with stuff couple things really did not go the way I thought they would go. And also, it was a very deep year personal healing for me. So I just didn’t have the bandwidth for my business that I had had in previous years, it was very much a personally focus here from last year. So where that faith was really tested are times when money was a little tighter than I had gotten accustomed to, which was really cool and really humbling. Because we kind of live in a world where we get the impression that everyone’s businesses grow every year, whatever the case, like that’s just like, it’s not how it’s supposed to be. That’s not That’s not it’s an interesting, like expectations slash assumption that people make. But so that wasn’t the case for me last year, we didn’t grow last year. And it was it was really cool to have the experience and go and also I didn’t die. I didn’t go out of business. My confidence wasn’t shattered. We just did some stuff that didn’t work. I didn’t take it personally, I didn’t make it about me. So that that is kind of the difference between how I used to take things more personally, and be doubtful and fearful and worried maybe this isn’t going to work. But like, at no point was I like concerns that the business wasn’t going to work. I was like cool. Like, we just need to figure out a better way to do things. Yeah, we got some great, great lessons in contrast of like, what wasn’t working, what didn’t work, things we’ve been doing. And what essentially it happened is the business outgrew me, we needed more help, like I needed more support. I was personally trying to like still shoulder too much. Things had just gotten bigger than for just me and a couple of people to handle. So just we really needed some extra support a little strategic support. And we needed to like analyze the business and go, Okay, what’s working, what’s not working? That is a place where I had been irresponsible before. I wasn’t really evaluating things. After we went through it. I was just continuing to try new things instead of going, how that work, like what can we take with us? What do we need to ditch. But again, I bring this in because one of the things that I’ve really developed is the balance, right? Part of where my trust and faith comes now is just like the very practical grounded things of like, I know how my business works. Yeah. And I have data I was in the years where things weren’t going? Well, it’s because I was not paying any attention to the data.

Alex Beadon 43:03
I love that. Yeah. It doesn’t sound fun. Yeah. And this is something that I see a lot of people struggle with. They’re like, even when it comes to things like strategy, it’s like they’re so put off by it, because they just like go with the flow, which may be if that’s working for some people great. But like at the end of the day, I think it’s a mixture of both right? Like, you have to find that balance between using your intuition and trusting your guts, and then having like, fail proof, maybe nothing’s fail proof. But you know what I mean?

Elizabeth Dialto 43:36
And I think, you know, where the intuition comes in, for me is in making decisions, right? It’s in making those pivots. It’s in, you know, order of operations type things, right? It’s like, is this the project? Is this the next best thing? Or is it not? Do I actually need to put that on the burner, and be patient about that we could do that later. You know, that’s where the intuition really comes in. It’s like, I listen to the intuition. And then I take the action based on the intuition. So it’s not just like, flowing all the time. I’ll be super honest, I don’t know anyone who is in flow all the time that doesn’t have any kind of structure that actually has a successful business. Yeah, they might get paid by people to do a variety of things, but I wouldn’t call it a business.

Alex Beadon 44:17
So I remember what my question was, I wanted to ask you, when you were doing your fitness stuff before, and then you decided to completely change topic. What was that like for you? How did you know that that was the next best step for you? And what advice would you give people who are in that weird phase where they’re still trying to figure out like, what should my topic be watching my message be?

Elizabeth Dialto 44:40
Yeah, this is a fun question, because it might have looked on the exterior like it was, Oh, I just I flipped. I’m doing this now. But for me, that was actually a transition that took over a year because I had had the initial intuition, the initial inkling, the initial poll to start talking about stuff much deeper. Beyond fitness beyond working out more around working in. And I at that time this was back in 2012, I was inspired by people like Danielle Laporte. Like I remember thinking, she just writes about whatever she wants to write about, I want to be able to do that. And so I had to transition I had to start introducing like, different types of things and kind of weaving them in and connecting them. That’s actually how wild soul movement was born, because I still wanted the work to revolve around the body, right? Because it wasn’t this like hard transition. It was actually like this. It was an evolution. It just was like, it made sense to like, go here next in the exploration. And so I just started by using social media, primarily Facebook, to ask people questions. Have you guys ever thought about this? What do you think about this, and noticing how people felt about things. And people were really engaging in those conversations, which is why I had started my first Facebook group a couple years ago, that I since closed, and then I started another one, and then close that one, too. I’m not into free Facebook groups anymore. But for me, it was about letting my curiosity lead the way, right, and bringing people along with me through my curiosity, and then realizing cool, a lot of my people are curious about the same things. I’m curious. And of course, there were people who wanted me to stay in fitness. And they weren’t into the deeper conversations I wanted to have. And I lost those people. And there’s no shortage of fitness people on the internet. So I just trusted that they would find someone else. And what’s cool right now is I’m actually in another shift like that, where wild soul movement isn’t going away, like fitness went away, I stopped doing fitness, I’m not going to stop doing the wild soul movement or women’s empowerment work, but it’s not going to be the core of my work anymore. Now I’m going to core focus more in on trust and truth telling. And we’re building out a trust assessment. I don’t know when this is going live. But the trust assessment will be out by March, to kind of help people see how much they trust themselves, and how their trust differs in different areas of their life, their health, their wealth, their relationships, and their their knowing of themselves their personal growth, right?

Alex Beadon 47:01
Oh, exciting.

Elizabeth Dialto 47:04
Because this to like, trust has always been a part of my work in having bigger conversations, as they relate not just to women’s empowerment, but you know, society and culture, the change, social change, and things that are like, there’s a lot of stuff going on in our world, that really isn’t okay, that’s finally coming to the surface to be healed and transformed and transmuted. And I love that. And I have a lot of tools, a lot of skills and a lot of practice to contribute to that. So we’re shifting into this. And while some of it will still be wild, some movement, we’re just opening up the doors and opening up the gates to more people in a more digestible, relatable way. But that will still be on our end, high value high service and in the wheelhouse of what we know how to do.

Alex Beadon 47:46
I love that so much. Okay, so I’m just imagining the listeners. And I think it would be great for you to just give a little bit of an explanation as to how to know, if you don’t trust yourself.

Elizabeth Dialto 48:01
So there’s four reliable trust indicators. One of them is consistency, if you’re able to be consistent, that demonstrates trust, because you’re not second guessing you’re not doubting you’re not stopping and starting. And this will show up in different ways. So in health, for example, if you don’t trust yourself or your body to know what you need, you might start and stop different workout programs all the time, different diets all the time, right. But people who are just comfortable with food and movement, that indicates trust. So consistency is one confidence is another when you are confident, you know that that exists on a spectrum, right? So people, you might be a little confident you might be super confident. When you’re confident you are not battling the self esteem, the self worth issues that some people do or that maybe you have in the past, right? Confidence is something you really build confidence comes from evidence. So you’ve done the work to become a more confident person. And again, confidence will show itself in different ways in different areas of your life. In E is another reliable trust indicator. And ease doesn’t mean stuff is easy, but it means you’re able to approach and move through things with ease. So that means very little stress, very little resistance, very little fear, very little doubt. Because those things all inhibit to trust. And then what’s also cool is the emotion of guilt is a reliable trust indicator. Because if you feel guilty about things you don’t trust, because Brene Brown says shame is I am bad. Guilt is I did something bad. So if we’re feeling like we did something wrong, or we did something bad, we’re not trusting that everything’s always working out in our favor. So those those four things are really simple ways to look at the different areas of your life and go cool. Where am I going To start, where am I confident where where do I have ease and flow? Right? Where do I feel guilty? And those things will show you how trusting you are or not as well the assessment.

Alex Beadon 50:11
I love it. Thank you so much for explaining that.

And now I’m going to ask you my wrap up questions. Are you ready? I love this. Yeah.

Okay, so the first question is, what is the one thing you do that has been a non negotiable in the success of your business?

Elizabeth Dialto 50:31
Be myself

Alex Beadon 50:33
share a mindset that every entrepreneur needs to succeed.

Elizabeth Dialto 50:37
No. Everyone is so different. Yeah. So but I so blanket questions like that, like, what does everyone need to do? So um, what

Alex Beadon 50:52
about you? How about that? What was a mindset that shifted things for you as an entrepreneur?

Elizabeth Dialto 50:58
Really, everything’s always working out in my favor. So it’s kind of like that, Byron, Katie, everything is happening for you, not to you. Like even when there’s like a perceived failure, like I just don’t believe in mistakes. You learn from everything, you pivot, you get up, you keep going,

Alex Beadon 51:12
like, okay, fill in the blank, the world would be a better place if more people knew

Elizabeth Dialto 51:18
how to trust themselves.

Alex Beadon 51:20
The book that changed my life was

Elizabeth Dialto 51:24
how much time you got you follow me on social media? You know, I’m such a nerd. But let me let me think I’ll give awakening Shakti that was one for sure.

Alex Beadon 51:33
Like, okay, and lastly, I would like you to challenge our listeners to do something. So to take some kind of action step after they’ve listened to this over the next week. What is one thing that you would like for them to do?

Elizabeth Dialto 51:50
I want people to pay attention to how much they trust themselves and in what in which areas of their lives so pay attention to your your choices and your health, your choices in your wealth to do with like money and career, your choices in your relationships and your choices in your, towards yourself, how you treat yourself, and see how much trust you have in each of those areas. It’s fascinating.

Alex Beadon 52:12
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. If you enjoyed it, I would love for you to give me a shout out on your Instagram story or anywhere. Just letting me know what your biggest takeaway was. You guys have no idea how helpful and useful it is for me, when you message me telling me what your aha moments were telling me what it is that you took away from the podcast. It helps me understand what is most valuable to you. And it helps me understand how I can be of the highest service to you. So if you could take two minutes to do that. I would really appreciate it. Thank you guys so much for watching. I hope to hear from you over on Instagram. You can find me at Alex Beadon, and I will talk to you again very soon. Bye

Oh my gosh, you guys look how amazing this shrimp Serrata cocktail looks meet Beatrice an avid Instagram Stories user and visionary to her followers. I can’t wait till you guys try this out. Yes, I’m talking to all three of you.

I’m all two of you. Well,

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#004 – The Key To Booking Coaching Clients, Getting 56,000 Instagram Followers and more with Mel Wells

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When was the last time you spoke to yourself? Sounds like something only crazy people do. Or maybe we truly are the mad ones for not even trying. But it’s not just random conversations with your mirror we’re trying to work into your routine. It goes a little deeper. It’s about being connected with your mental and physical wellness. Knowing how to treat your most valuable vessel and the real effects it can have on your life.   

So when a voice like Mel Wells extols the importance of food, self love and body imagery, it’s pretty hard not to listen.

Mel Wells, best-selling author, international speaker and eating psychology coach has devoted her life to the pursuit of good health, both inside and out.  

Get lost in her story—from her love affair with acting to finding true love within herself, learn how Mel transformed her life, business and mindset into a healthy, hearty and wholesome lifestyle that gets better with each passing day.

“If you are not taking care of yourself, you can’t take care of your business—I never prioritize my work over my health.”

In this episode we talk about:

  • how Mel got her first clients as a health coach
  • how she transitioned from doing one-on-one coaching to selling online courses and in-person retreats
  • how she grew her Instagram to more than 56,000 followers
  • AND Mel readily shares then number one thing in her business that she believes is *more* important than her Instagram account
Get well with Wells:
IG: @iammelwells
Facebook: @IAmMelWells
Twitter: @IAmMelWells
https://melwells.com

Check out her new book, Hungry for More, that came out last week! 

Loved this and want more? Check out our other episodes here.

Spark a conversation! Say hello @alexbeadon on Instagram.

Transcript Available Below

Alex Beadon 0:00
In this episode, I’m talking to someone I love. Following on Instagram, Mel wells, we talked about how she got her first clients as a health coach, how she transitioned from doing one on one coaching to selling online courses and in person retreats. We talked about how she grew her Instagram to more than 56,000 followers. And Mel readily shares the number one thing in her business that she believes is more important than her Instagram account. Welcome to on purpose. Do you ever feel like you’re trying to balance it all, nourishing your health while growing your business and living a life well lived? And no matter how hard you try, sometimes you slip from purpose driven into autopilot. Take a deep breath, relax, and let’s get you back to where you belong. On purpose.

Wow, guys, episode number four of the podcast this isn’t. So before we dive into the podcast, I just want to share a few housekeeping items. So just be a little patient. The first one is, as promised one of my favorite reviews that you guys have left on the podcast. Remember, I’m trying to get 100 in the first week. So if you haven’t left your review yet, we’re running out of time, make sure to go and leave it as soon as you possibly can. It literally only takes two minutes. Okay, this one is from Jay T con JT comm says Alex’s new podcast is like having a conversation with a close friend. She hits on topics that I struggle with and helps provide clarity and real solutions. While being completely honest about her own path. She doesn’t just repeat catchphrases and content that’s already out there. She provides her own knowledge and experiences and that is solid gold to me. I’m excited about upcoming guests because I know Alex will only choose guests that can help us up level our lives and businesses. Thank you so much, JT Khan, I really appreciate it. Next, I want to give you guys a quick intro of who Mel is and why you should care about her. So Mel Wells is a health coach. But I look at her as more of an advocate for self love. She’s someone who I first stumbled upon on Instagram and the photos she shared of her freedom lifestyle on the beach, while running her business full time from Bali. That’s initially what captured my attention. But after I followed her, I started to see that there was so much more depth to her account than just pretty pictures. Mel is a woman who lives life totally on purpose. She’s a health coach, best selling author, and is now pursuing her career as an actress. So take a listen to this episode. I apologize in advance for the sound quality guys. When I recorded this, I knew nothing about audio. But the more we go into the podcast, the better the audio is going to become. When you’re done listening to this episode, definitely send me a message on Instagram and let me know what was your biggest takeaway? What was your biggest lesson? What was your favorite part? I really want to hear from you guys. And I want this to be a community right? So when you message me or posted to your story or whatever, just make sure that you’re tagging me sharing your biggest lesson from Episode Four. I’m then going to repost my favorite comments, and make sure to tag you as well. So this is win win for everyone. I really want us to build a strong community here with on purpose. Let’s dive into today’s episode. Mel, thank you so much for being on the podcast with me today. I’m so excited to have you.

Mel Wells 3:31
Yay. Thank you so, so much. It’s so good to be here.

Alex Beadon 3:36
So Okay, the first question that I asked everyone is, what do you find most nourishing about having your own business?

Mel Wells 3:45
What do I find most nourishing about my having my own business is being completely in charge of my calendar and being able to live live completely on my terms. I didn’t have to ask anyone’s permission to do whatever the hell I want with my life, which is great.

Alex Beadon 4:05
It’s a big plus. So I would love for you to just share with us your journey of like how you got to being fully self employed. And you know, did you start off with a nine to five job like, how did you end up here?

Mel Wells 4:19
Yeah, so my first passion was acting and the performing arts. So I was an actress on a soap opera for a few years when I was 18. And when I left the soap opera, acting work wasn’t really that kind of available to me. So I kind of fell into doing commercials and bits of modeling and when you are working as a model you well I mean, at least for me, I was working with lots of different agencies at one time. So that kind of got me into feeling really good of being in charge of like calendar because I could decide the jobs that I wanted to take on the days that I wanted to work and when to say no, like that was kind of, in my hands. You know, the industry I didn’t love. I didn’t love what I was doing, though. But the one thing that I did love about it was the fact that I was the one, you know, basically in charge of my schedule, which I really liked. And when I decided to start my business, it was because I, basically, my dad fell, Ill really suddenly, he had pancreatic cancer, and it spreads to the liver really fast. And so he was given four months to live. Wow, that obviously completely changed everything for me. And I suddenly started becoming really, really interested in health and nutrition. And, you know, essentially disease prevention. But I mean, this was really personal for me, because my whole teens and early 20s, I been living with an eating disorder, like throughout the acting world that I was in the modeling, like, I had bulimia, and it was like, it was pretty severe. But I was I was quite in denial of it. And I think when my dad got earlier obviously made me really think shit, I really need to look at a really need to turn this obsession with food into a healthy one. And so I decided to train as a health coach and and set up a coaching business. And yeah, it obviously started out very part time because it was just like, in my mind, I still wanted to be an actress, that was my thing. And it was just a way for me to spread a message that I was really passionate about, really because of my dad. And because of my own journey with with my relationship with food and my eating disorder, I wanted to heal that and share the journey. So it was never about me, I was making a lot of money modeling it was so it was never about me earning more money, it was just like, I’m really passionate about this, I really think more people need to need to know about looking after themselves. This was back in 2012. So like healthy living wasn’t really as as cool as it is now. So that was how it started. And it was just like, basically, I set up a little Facebook page, and it had like, you know, 2020 likes, and it was basically just me sharing like recipes and like nutrition information. And as I progressed and as my personal journey with food progressed, I realized that to heal, disordered eating, it’s not about nutrition at all. It’s actually about psychology and self love and self development work and mindset work. And so that has become now years later, what I’m really invested in and what I now would say that I am an expert in is psychology around food, body image, self love. So I’ve moved away from nutrition. And now I’m more focused on on that, on the psychology science side of things as that is what really helped me.

Alex Beadon 8:12
I love how you said that. When you first started becoming a health coach, you were already making so much money from being a model that like it really didn’t matter. It’s just like something that you were kind of doing because you felt called to do it. Do you think that that really helped kind of propel you because something that I see often is, you know, people are struggling with money, they put so much emphasis on this thing having to work that it creates resistance. So I would love to hear your take on that. Like, what do you think the effect of that was for you? And also, how long did it take for you to make the transition where you were like, Okay, I’m done with modeling?

Mel Wells 8:48
Yeah, yeah, I mean, with with the modeling stuff, it is like, it was quite, it’s quite full on. So you could be like, there’s a lot of traveling. So I would be in the car for like four hours a day to get like to get like two hours to get somewhere, you know, a four hour job and then like two hours to get home. And so like I spend a lot of the time driving so I would listen to you know, I’ve listened to I would do like courses and audio stuff. Like while I was on the road basically. I did like my did like B school and that kind of thing when I was you know very much still just doing modeling stuff. And so yeah, I mean, I would say I would say that the drive it was just about the message like it wasn’t it wasn’t obviously like you want to make money from it but like I guess I didn’t even realize when I started that this could you know this could lead to me being financially more secure or more free. hadn’t even really occurred to me it was just like a Just want to get this message out there. So that I mean, I didn’t have, I didn’t have like a savings or anything like that. So I did kind of pretty much start with nothing. So even though I was earning, I was earning pretty well for modeling, it was still like, I was still spending it or like, I didn’t have like, savings or anything, I didn’t have like, Oh, I’m going to start a business and put all this money into it. So I was doing everything by myself, really. I couldn’t afford anyone to guide me a website. So I built my own website to start with, and it was terrible. But I started taking on clients. And yeah, I was doing, I was taking on clients one to one, and did that part time. Three years before I went full time. And when I went full time, it was 2015. So maybe it was, maybe it was me, I was doing like clients part time for two years. And I went full time in 2015. And it was like January, the first like a New Year’s resolution was like, what I’m doing is on January, the first I’m going to email all of my agencies and say, right, stop putting me forward for anything, I quit the end. I just knew that if I did that, I had to go full, fully in play full out. Because when you’ve got one foot in and one foot out of your business, it’s like you can only grow so fast. And I was experiencing that I knew that I wanted to create an online course I wanted to write a book, I knew that I was getting amazing results with the women that I was working with. And I was like, I’m so passionate about this. I hate modeling. Like I’m literally just doing it now because it pays. So I’m just gonna say, you know, that’s it no more. So I made the transition. When I already I was already taking on clients, I was probably making about 1500 pounds a month. So it wasn’t a lot. But I knew that I could live off it. And I knew that that push would really help propel me because you’ve got nothing else to lean on. You should just fully in and that’s a different level of commitment, then you really step up for yourself, don’t you?

Alex Beadon 12:15
Yeah, so for someone who’s in their first three years of running their business, but they’re not yet full time, I would love for you to share, like what do you think was like the big light bulb moment? Or like the thing that was missing for you that really allowed you to get to that full time space?

Mel Wells 12:32
Hmm. In terms of what I was earning, or in terms of like,

Alex Beadon 12:38
entire, like what you were doing, like, what what did you start doing that you weren’t necessarily doing before that helped you get full time that you would that? Or maybe it was like a mindset shift? Or I don’t know what it was for you that was like, Oh, this is what I’ve been missing? That hasn’t allowed me to get to full time yet? Or do you think it was just like you were just progressing in that direction, and that there was really no big.

Mel Wells 13:02
I mean, I mean, it was all I could think about every day, for a start off. So like I knew that it was my, I knew that it was my calling, I knew that it was what I needed to do. And the more I the more I felt that the better that I better that I felt. And the more I started to just really like, like the old job that just dropped away. Really organically. Like I just didn’t want to do it at all. And as soon as I started feeling like, you know, actually, I am earning enough to transition. Then I felt like I’ve just got to take the leap. And I think it was having that confidence of like, even if I fail at this, I know that I’ve really listened to my gut and listen to my soul. Even if I fail at this, like I have, I know that it’s what I need to at least give it 100%. And I think if you don’t give it 100% You’ll never know. So if you’re still holding on to like bits of old work, it’s like, you can do that for so long. But if you really want to propel your business, you’ve got to go full, fully in in terms of something practical that I did. I had a bit of a block around giving people free sessions. I was like, why would I do that people got to pay me and

Alex Beadon 14:24
the other way around. Normally people are like, I don’t want people to pay me I’ll just give it to them for free.

Mel Wells 14:31
I was like pay me like I thought what a waste of time getting for free. And I worked with a coach and you know it was I didn’t have much money. So it was like you know, I only spent like about 560 pounds, which was a lot of money to work with a coach back then I’m not invested in any coaching or anything at that stage. And she basically said to me send out an email. And you know, you had a small list, obviously send out an email and say you’re going to give away, you know, 15, free coaching sessions. I was like, What the hell? Why would I do that? I’ve got time for that. You know? And obviously, it’s such a thing when you’ve been running your business for a while, you know, that, obviously, you have to do that in order to, you know, it’s a great way to get clients. And yeah, you know, when I did that, I think I had like, 13 people sign up. And suddenly I was like, I don’t have time. I don’t have time for modeling. Like, I’ve got to do this, these clients. And so

Alex Beadon 15:39
was it that like, you got them onto a free call. And then at the end, you sold them? So there was like, a sales conversation at the end?

Mel Wells 15:46
Yeah, but it was it was essentially like it wasn’t I. I’m not a sales person. I’m not like, I wouldn’t say that. It was a sales call. It was a free coaching call where value

Alex Beadon 16:01
call you were giving? Yeah, exactly. And then at the end, having like a call to action. It was basically

Mel Wells 16:09
like, yeah, an hour of my time, we can do whatever you want in an hour, we can work through some stuff. And then at the end, like, literally in the last 10 minutes, it was like, if you want to continue this, we can work together for the next three months. This is the price. And most of them said yes.

Alex Beadon 16:27
Wow. That’s awesome.

Mel Wells 16:29
Yeah. And so then I was like, wow, this is this is a little secret. So I’m gonna do this more often. And so before I knew it, my whole calendar was booked up. And that kind of gave me the confidence to quit the modeling, because I was like, I can make this money from sitting at home doing what I love, like, Yeah, it’s awesome. Yeah.

Alex Beadon 16:48
Oh, tell us about, you know, you got started doing the one on one coaching, how have your offerings evolved to where they’re at today? Like, what do you offer today?

Mel Wells 17:00
It evolved really quickly, because I realized that, you know, from doing the free coaching session upfront, I could easily book up very fast. And so my calendar was packed. And to the point where I was doing like, you know, obviously different time zones, and everything I was spending at one point, like seven hours a day on Skype. Because I just wanted to just I didn’t want to say no to a new client. I didn’t want to say like, I didn’t want to say I’m full. So I was just like, Yeah, of course, like, let’s do it. And I didn’t want to lose them as such. So I just booked everyone. And to the point where I was just completely over. Yeah, it was just too much. There’s another lesson that I learned. But I, obviously the more people that you work with, you really understand your client’s struggles and how like how they get through them. And I started to, obviously, the trainings that I was doing at the same time in business, I was doing courses and all this kind of stuff, I started, you know, obviously, becoming someone that was used to doing online courses, and I was like, I can do, I could do an online course hang on a minute, I could make an online course for what I’m teaching these women because it’s the same stuff that is coming up all the time. And, you know, I’m not seeing many people doing online courses in what I’m teaching, but why wouldn’t I do that. But I think I can do this. And so I started getting to work on writing and creating an online, essentially, like an online transformation program that was digital where I could do live calls, but with groups. So that became like, my, my mission in between those two things. I did a few group coaching programs as well. So worked with like, six or seven people at a time. And that was great. But when I like when I created the course, which is the Academy, which has now had over 100 people come through it. That was like my aim was that was to get to create a course that felt like people were working with me one to one covered all bases, but you know, lots of homework, very in depth. And, and yeah, that launched for the first time in 2015. And that obviously created a lot of freedom for me. And it meant that I could work with a lot of people at once for a much smaller price than what the one to one was. So yeah, and then on top of that, I do retreats, which I really love. I definitely will keep doing retreats and live events because for me working with people actually in person for like a real immersion is like the best I like to work with people like, I take women out to Bali and we do like a week retreat there. I’m doing one in the Maldives this September. And to me that is my favorite favorite way to work with people, I think you get such incredible results when you are fully immersed in something so much better than that, you know, obviously people i Obviously I do still do one to one clients, and I love working with people one to one. But I mean, I know personally for me, I learned the best when I’m fully immersed in something like under there physically there for a long period of time, like seminars, like I just went to a Tony Robbins seminar, for example. And then for four days, 12 hours a day, I’m like fully in there. And that to me is like, I just will never stop doing that, because it’s my favorite way to learn. Yeah,

Alex Beadon 20:47
that’s incredible. I feel so good about everything that you just shared with us. So what’s interesting to me as well about the retreats is that if you look at the amount of time, effort and energy that’s going into your retreats versus the online course, you would say that the online course is definitely like you’re getting more of a return on your investment, right. But regardless, like you’re still doing these retreats, because you just they they nourish you so much. So I just love that you

Mel Wells 21:16
shot them lately. I’m obsessed with them. I’m obsessed with them, like spending time with these women in person is so incredible. And everyone transforms. It’s like there’s any you know, technology’s incredible, but like, real, you know, real life being there and, and really being there. And yeah, there’s nothing like, so I’m no, I’m not planning on giving that up anytime soon.

Alex Beadon 21:45
That’s awesome. Okay, so I would love for you to share with us a boundary that you have recently added to your business or to your life that you think has made a really big difference, because I was hearing you speak before about how you were doing like seven hours on Skype every day. And I was like, That was at a time in your business when you didn’t have those boundaries in place. So I’m curious, like, what is a recent boundary that you’ve discovered that’s been super helpful for you?

Mel Wells 22:11
A recent boundary? Let’s say I don’t work with any more than five people one to one. Okay, cool. My retreats, I don’t have any more than 13 guests at anytime. Because any more than that, and I can’t get to know everyone, I find it difficult to really form intimate relationships with more than that. And I guess my phone, you know, I don’t look at my phone in the mornings until I have left the house. I used to be someone that just turned turn, like rolled over in bed, turn my alarm off. And straightaway, I’m like replying to Instagram, DMS. And I’ve made a new boundary for myself that I, you know, I meditate or I do my yoga in the morning, and I don’t actually start looking at my phone and clouds left the house and I’m walking down the streets. And that’s yeah, that’s been really good for me.

Alex Beadon 23:06
So marketing wise, what would you say is like the one. It could be a social media platform or like an activity that you do that you feel gives you the biggest return on your investment of time? What would you say that one marketing activity 100% Instagram

Mel Wells 23:22
story, and I know that you love it too, because you are like the coffee.

Alex Beadon 23:29
I’m so glad that you said that in a selfish way. But also because it’s just true. And like, it’s just true, like, part of the reason is because no one knows about it. No one’s really using it. So anyway,

Mel Wells 23:40
I’m like, we’re gonna we’re gonna, like really milk this at the moment. At the moment, not, not many people are using it properly. So, you know, let’s let if we know the secrets, if we know how to use it, let’s use it. But yeah, like everything that I’m ever doing any, any free content, I have any events that I’m selling tickets for retreats, videos, anything goes straight on Instagram story. I mean, as I said, I’ve just been at this seminar for four days. So I’ve not actually been story the last four days, but I usually will have like a strategy for story. And, you know, our aim to be putting free content up there. And then like, you know, a couple of times a week be selling something on there as well. But obviously, it doesn’t cost anything and you know those for I mean, that’s the channel that I hang out the most on myself. That’s the channel that I that I focus on building more than the others. And it’s just where my pizza, so I know that they’re watching my story and so I mix it up and I will share stuff that’s going on throughout my day but I will also share like what’s going on in my business free content they can get for redownload if they can get and then what events they can come and buy tickets for?

Alex Beadon 25:05
That’s awesome. So talk to me about your history with Instagram as a platform, like on the whole, because you have I don’t know how many followers you have, but it’s a lot like 10s of 1000s. Yeah, you have right now,

Mel Wells 25:19
I think 50 3000s.

Alex Beadon 25:20
That’s so much. So talk to you about like, your growth on Instagram. Like, what you were focusing on how it’s changed your feelings on Instagram. I’d love to know more about that.

Mel Wells 25:31
Yeah, I’m good. I love it. I mean, for me, I need to wean myself off. Because you can just lose yourself Kenyan on that channel. So what is the question? Like?

Alex Beadon 25:47
When do you start, we’ll go step by step. When did you start taking Instagram? Seriously, like, when were you like, oh, I should be, you know, taking really good pictures and making sure that my captions are on point, like, when did you start taking it seriously.

Mel Wells 26:01
Um, probably a couple of years ago, I started to notice that it was growing much faster than my Facebook was. And I think I’d always been, you know, focusing on growing my Facebook likes, and then as soon as I realized that Instagram was growing faster, and I noticed that the women that are in my program, Instagram on it, I was like, Well, I’m just gonna focus it plus I love you know, obviously, I had a history and modeling. So like, I’m, I’m a fan of good photography, like, I appreciate good photos. And so

Alex Beadon 26:34
that’s so true. So it came easily to that’s so true. So yeah, give the people listening, like three main tips of what you think helped your account to grow quite quickly, what would those three tips be?

Mel Wells 26:47
Store storytelling, I think is the most important tool that I have. used, I think, when I approach when I think if I approach a poem, like writing a post, and I kind of don’t put much thought into it, or I mean, obviously, there’s a balance, like, I never spend hours writing a capsule or anything like that, if I’m doing that, then I’m just like, I’m just forcing it, I’m not, I’m not gonna do this. Usually, it comes through very easily, and I can write a caption in about 10 minutes. And then it’s, it’s done. But storytelling, I think, like, when I bring my own personal stories into things, they just connect through the phone a lot, a lot more than, than me trying to educate people, I think. I don’t know if that’s like a if that’s like an age thing. But I personally feel that I mean, I’m sharing, I am sharing lessons from my, from my teachings from my books and everything like that. But I but I tend to connect with people more when I just share my my personal stories and my vulnerabilities, I guess I’m things that I have overcome in my life that has what is probably connected with people the most just being just being real, I guess. Yeah, I think, you know, we all we all just want the real stuff. That’s, that’s the truth. So as much as the I think it’s important that your photos are beautifully, you know, done and everything like that, I think it’s the truth in the writing is really important.

Alex Beadon 28:33
So me I like to tell people is like always ask them, like, how easy would it be for someone else to have created the same picture or created the same caption and if it’s easily replicable, then you should probably go with something else. So I like that. I’m curious as well about, because I think a lot of people who are getting started in business, they really get obsessed with their social platforms. So I’m curious, I want to ask you, what has How important has your email list been for your business?

Mel Wells 29:05
But there’s nothing more important than your email list is? Like, definitely, you know, if you’re gonna really focus on using social media, use it to get people on your email list. Yeah,

Alex Beadon 29:20
that has that always been a part of like your social media strategies, like get people on your Instagram and then convert them onto your email list?

Mel Wells 29:29
Yeah, of course, because like email is where you know, your more personal conversations are happening and where you can actually run sequences and launches and things like that. Yeah, I think since I started my business, I’ve always known that your email list has to come first. That was kind of drilled into me and baseball but it’s so tempting. Very tempting to just sell on social media and think that, you know, but I’ve seen, I’ve seen people run their businesses through social media and now they’ve got loads of followers, but they’re not ever getting any email addresses. And I just I think, Oh, what are you doing? followers don’t that don’t actually matter, you know,

Alex Beadon 30:13
and it can be taken away from you at any moment, just like my YouTube channel. So I was growing my YouTube channel for like seven years. And then I woke up one day and it was gone.

Mel Wells 30:22
How did that happen? How does things like that happen? That’s crazy.

Alex Beadon 30:26
I know, it was a technical fault on Google Apps end, I think that it was such an old account that the way it was initially set up was just not done properly. Anyway. Yeah, it’s it’s gone. But it’s a great lesson, because it’s just such a good example of why you should always be bringing people over to your email list. So yeah,

Mel Wells 30:46
completely, and like there’s gonna be a new social app around soon, and you’re not in control of that for Yeah. Yeah.

Alex Beadon 31:00
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So I want to kind of shift now I feel like we’ve talked about strategy and marketing and social media and all that jazz. I want to talk to you about like, just life as an entrepreneur, I think you’re really interesting because you lived in Bali for a little bit, and then you picked up and you were like, Okay, actually, my true purpose or like, what I want to focus on right now is acting, so then you move to London to pursue your acting career. So I would love for you to talk to us about like, that must have been a really hard decision for you to make. And, yeah, that’s about that for a little bit, like having the actual freedom to be like, Okay, I’m gonna kind of shift gears a little bit. And what does that mean for your future in this direction?

Mel Wells 32:33
So, I mean, I guess, since my dad passed away, I’ve kind of been, I think, when when you lose power, and they change something in you, obviously. And I think I became a lot more like, I stopped caring what other people thought of me as much when he passed away, and I started being a lot more. If I want something, I’m just gonna go and get it and a lot more fearless. I guess, obviously, you’re never completely fearless. But I became a lot more fearless. And so when things get a little too comfortable, I need a new challenge. And my I mean, my business is doing well. I’m very, you know, blessed to say that, I decided to move to Bali, because I was doing the retreats out there. And I loved the place so much. And I saw so many, you know, digital nomads making it work. And I just thought, What a great lifestyle, I can do that, too. And I was out there for 18 months. And it was amazing. Like, I met the love of my life, like had such an incredible time in my life. But I had this breakthrough around Christmas that, you know, my original calling was acting and there was still a part of me that wanted to do that. And as much as you know, as part of my business, I get to make YouTube videos I get to be onstage and that is the stuff that I love. And I love that more than the business stuff. I love being the one that is speaking and because it is it feels like me in a way performing and reaching people with a message. And yeah, I kind of had this realization that if I hadn’t, you know, if I hadn’t, hadn’t eaten sort of hadn’t lost my dad, then I, then that was my original thing. That’s what I wanted to do originally. And it was really emotional for me because my life in Bali was so comfortable. And I could see a very clear path with my business and see where it was headed. And I thought you know what I’m, I’m really, I’m teaching personal development and I’m teaching people how to change their mindset around things and go after their dreams. And instead of telling people I’m going to actually just show them and I’m going to do it myself. And it was terrifying. Because like I said like life was so good in Bali and it’s it’s harder in London, it’s a lot more expensive. Um, you know, we’re living in a much smaller place, it’s called, you know, I’m going back into an industry that I’ve not been in for eight years. I feel like I’m starting from the beginning. But it scares me. And that’s why I’m doing it so hard to describe, but because it scares me, I’m doing it. And I’m also share, I decided to share that with my audience in a big way. Because I think we are living in a world where you don’t have to pick one thing, if you want to, you can do both. And I see like, a lot of great actresses that also have businesses, and I just decided that I wanted to, I wanted to somehow merge the two worlds. And it’s something that I’m also really passionate about is, I have worked with a lot of actresses as well, that struggle with eating disorders and body image, because obviously, it’s so much pressure. So that is something else that I’m really passionate about. So I want to kind of merge my two passions now. So yeah, it’s still quite fresh. But um, I think it’s important to kind of show the journey because it’s something that I feel like I’m starting again, almost, and almost really revisiting the place where I had quite a lot of trauma, I guess. But it’s kind of like, prove to myself how far I’ve come and how much I feel that I can just, I can go back into that world and do it for myself do it for my, my, the little inner child in me.

Alex Beadon 36:32
Yeah, I love as well that like you’re doing it again, as almost as a whole different person, you know, with new tools and like a new way of being so I just love I remember, I watched your live when you announced and I was like, Oh my gosh, I love it, because it’s so easy to get caught into like what you’re doing and like everything’s working, why change it. So

Mel Wells 36:56
it’s like the sort of the thought of going back into the acting world was so terrifying, that it brought up so much emotion in my body that I thought, well, that means that I’ve got to do it. Like, I can’t ignore that for the rest of my life. Obviously bring I wasn’t just like Matt No, it was like, I was in floods of tears. And that was when I knew that. Okay, if it makes if it brings up that much emotion in my body, I’ve obviously got some unresolved stuff there. So I’m gonna, I’m just gonna do it.

Alex Beadon 37:28
That’s interesting. Okay, I’d love to talk to you now about the hustle versus the flow. So like feminine energy versus masculine energy, and how that affects you how you prioritize each one in your business in your life. You seem like me quite like a masculine energy, like, get it done kind of girl. So I’m curious what your relationship with that has been?

Mel Wells 37:53
Ah, what a great question. Not having anyone’s ever asked me that before. Um, I mean, I, I am I do have quite a lot of masculine energy in my work. And it has got me a lot of it’s got its, you know, it’s helped me achieve a lot of success. But it’s I guess there’s a, there’s a balance, isn’t there? I mean, I, I love like, like I just said, with the acting like, I am motivated when things are hard. So I mean, it would, I know that it’s, you know, can say, oh, it can be easy. It can be easy, but sometimes easy. It’s not what you want, like, my life and by was so easy. And I was like, I’m too young for it to be easy. I’m not ready for it for an eat like I want the challenges. So I’m really, I’m motivated by it being a little bit more hard. Otherwise, where’s the growth? I think there’s elements in your business where you can be like, Wow, this is so easy. It’s just flowing through me. And it’s great. And I do think when things are really in alignment, you do you access that that flow state and you are in just complete flow, and it’s effortless, and it’s easy. But like that, for me, it’s like that is I don’t see the hustle energy as as negative. It doesn’t.

Alex Beadon 39:21
Yeah, so I think that like to just dive into that a little bit more. When you’re in that flow state, I don’t think it necessarily means that like it’s not challenging, or that you know, and I totally agree with you like the hustle. I think it’s gotten a really bad rap. But it’s it is a balance because it’s like you want to hustle but you don’t want to hustle yourself into the ground.

Mel Wells 39:44
Yeah, exactly. And I think when it starts to feel like you are doing that yourself, no, like not good. Take a step back and reevaluate. And I think what’s what is really important to me and As someone that obviously helps people with their health and their food is like, if you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t take care of your business. So I never prioritize my work over my health, you know, so that, like, it always comes first for me to sleep a lot, meditate, do my yoga, you know, eat well, that if I don’t do those things, I am not showing up properly for my business anyway. So, for me, it’s like, I can’t even begin to think about hustling until I’m, until I’m taking care of myself. And giving myself a lot of, you know, a lot of sleep and you know, the things that I just the things that I just said. I guess it’s hard to it’s hard to describe, but I feel like when you are in that flow state, it’s almost like a, it’s like a blend of flow and hustle like a muscle. If you will, yes, that’s right. I just might. Like, you can have the relationship with hustle way, like, oh, I don’t, it’s not supposed to be hard. I don’t like hard work. And it’s supposed to be so easy, but it’s like, if it’s too easy, then you just feel like you just weren’t entitled, and there’s no challenge. There’s no growth. So I think you, you know, when people hear that, oh, you know, find the ease, find the flow. It’s like, I think it’s like, essentially, that could be training people to think that it’s never hard, or it shouldn’t ever feel hard. Which is just not true.

Alex Beadon 41:40
Yeah. So how do you keep yourself motivated when you have something really hard to work on? And maybe you’re feeling a little bit of resistance, and you’re like, oh, this thing is not going to be fun to do? How do you motivate yourself? Are you a naturally self motivated person? Talk to me about that.

Mel Wells 41:56
Um, I am quite naturally self motivated. But I always like, I’m always looking into the future. So I’m always, like, visualizing future. Like I like every day. Whether that is like, you know, next week, next month, like the end of the quarter, or the end of the year. If there’s something that I really don’t want to do, obviously, I do procrastinate and sit on the Instagram for a bit, pretending that it’s not there. But um, but essentially, what really motivates me to do tasks I don’t want to do is how it will impact my future and like how grateful I will be for it. When I look back,

Alex Beadon 42:38
so how clear would you say you are out of 1010? being super clear, and zero being not clear at all? How clear Are you on the vision of what it is that you’re moving towards and what it is that you want to create in your life?

Mel Wells 42:53
After this last four days, I would say 10

Alex Beadon 42:58
Robbins, Tony Robbins.

Mel Wells 43:01
I was gonna say I was struggling because I had such a clear vision for my business. And then this whole acting thing was completely thrown me off. And it’s made me feel like what the hell am I doing? Can I even do both? Is it possible to do both? Surely, you just got to go all in with one. So it’s, it’s been quite a confusing time for me. Like, am I allowed to do this? Should it just be something that I do is like, a couple of classes a week is like a hobby and not even try and pursue it again. But I just can’t really, I guess I can’t do that. Because I’m just not that kind of a person, I guess. So. But yeah, now I feel super clear in the I can blend the both worlds.

Alex Beadon 43:44
What do you think helped you through the 20 Robbins weekend or four day experience? What do you think was like the one thing or like a tip that you can give people listening to go home and do that’s going to actually help them get clear on their vision? Because that’s something I hear all the time from people is like, I just don’t know what I want. And I’m like, if you don’t have a vision, you don’t know what you’re working towards. Like you’re you’re running really fast going nowhere.

Mel Wells 44:08
Completely completely. And you end up going around in circles as well. Yes, you’re you’re I guess, like, the biggest thing is like you’re like why? Like why do you want to like, why do you want to go where you’re going like getting really clear where you’re going and and focusing on? Why it is that you that you want that. And an exercise that we did, which I find really incredible is it’s called closing the gap. I think he’s been doing it for many years. But essentially, you create a picture for where you want your life to be. Like the next level doesn’t matter if it’s like don’t put a timeframe on it, just call it the next level. Like where would what would my life look like if I was operating at the next level in every area of my life? And then create the picture for like where you are right now. Unless obviously in between, you’ve got like this gap. And he talks about closing the gap. So what do I need to do to close that gap? And basically bring those two completely together into the present moment? So obviously, electrically download, okay, what am I doing to close that close that close the gap, and then you end up with an action plan. And I think, you know, I’m always writing out my goals, like all the time, life goals, business goals, one month, three months and a year, and oftentimes, the things that I write out for a year, I get them done in a few months, because I’m just writing them out so much that I start making steps forward towards them. It’s almost like I do it unconsciously, because it’s just in my in my body, and, and I start accomplishing those faster than I, I thought that I was going to say, like, writing down your goals is so important. And the more you do it, the clearer you will declare, you look at, oh, something else I need to talk about, this is something that I’ve been kind of going through recently, and is doing less, but more. Sorry, doing, that doesn’t make sense. doing less, but better. Okay. So like, since I came back to London, I’ve got like a lot of my customer bases here. And then a lot of my followers and clients are here in London. And so since I came back, there’s been so many opportunities for me to speak at things or, you know, loads of podcasts things and but it’s like in person things like interviews. And I realized that I was saying yes to so much. And it meant that my big goals and dreams that I was writing down for my vision, were getting pushed back and pushed back, or I wasn’t having time for them, because I was filling my day full of, you know, writing articles and doing interviews and like so much stuff that actually wasn’t moving me forward. It was just filling up a lot of time. And so I kind of resolved to do less, but better. So okay, what are the things that I’m really passionate about doing? What are the things that I’m just doing? Because I think I should or that someone in my audience wants me to? Or, you know, I had an email, so I really shouldn’t say yes to it. Because I just started saying, you know, what, if I’m not yes about it, then I’m not going to do it. Because it’s just, it’s just distraction. And it’s not actually, you know,

Alex Beadon 47:39
really bring you forward. I

Mel Wells 47:40
want I think I can’t remember who said it. I don’t know, if it’s Warren Buffett, I think it might be him, but basically said like, the most successful people are saying no to 99% of things that they that they get come through. And I think, you know, when you start to get traction in your business, and you know, you will get loads of people email you saying, Can I interview you for my blog? Can I interview you, if my podcast is only just started? I don’t really, you know, have that much traction? And it’s like, you feel obliged to say yes to everything. Because you think, Oh, well, you know, it’s good to you know, and you’d be surprised how much doing all of that stuff takes you away from your mission.

Alex Beadon 48:23
Amen. Love it. Okay, so to wrap up this amazing interview, I have a few questions that I’m going to be asking you that I asked everyone. So the first one is, what is the one thing that you do that has been a non negotiable in the success of your business?

Mel Wells 48:45
One thing that I do that has been non negotiable in the success of my business, hiring good people.

Alex Beadon 48:53
Share a mindset shift that made the biggest difference in your life as an entrepreneur.

Mel Wells 49:10
I would say yeah, kind of in a similar vein, like work, work on what your strengths are. And then the stuff that is your weakness, outsource it.

Alex Beadon 49:22
Fill in the blank, the world would be a better place if more people knew

Mel Wells 49:27
how to love themselves.

Alex Beadon 49:30
That changed my life was oh, the

Mel Wells 49:34
book that changed my life was well, conversations with God.

Alex Beadon 49:39
That is such a good book. That’s one of my and lastly, I want you to challenge our audience to do something this week. So to take one action or to focus their energy in one direction. What is what is it that you would like to challenge our audience to do for this week?

Mel Wells 49:57
I would like to challenge you guys to You write out your goals. So, a lot of time, write out what what you want to have accomplished.

Alex Beadon 50:11
Thank you so much. You’re amazing. And I loved hearing everything that you have to say you’re so awesome. Before I let you go, I would love for you to let everyone know where they can find you online.

Mel Wells 50:25
Yes, of course. My website is malwarebytes.com and I’m hanging out on Instagram of course at I am Malwarebytes thank you so much Mal. Thanks, Dave. That was lovely.

Alex Beadon 50:43
Thank you so much for tuning into the on purpose podcast and I really hope that you had as much of a blast as we did. If you liked what you heard and want even more, make sure you leave a review because it really helps support what I do here on the podcast. All you have to do is search the podcast app for the on purpose podcast, select it then scroll down until you see write a review and then type away at the beginning of the next episode. I will be picking one review one special review My favorite review of the week and I will be reading it out for all of you guys so you definitely don’t want to miss out on that. I hope you really enjoy your week and I will see you guys again next time stay on purpose.

 

#002 – Shannon Boodram on Growing Her YouTube Channel, Being A Sexologist and more …

4 Comments / MINDSET, PODCAST / By

Let’s face it. You know it, I know it: sex sells. But improving people’s sex lives is ten times more fulfilling—at least that’s what we know about our next guest.

Let’s get close with Shannon Boodram, a “Martha Stewart for Intimacy” whose YouTube videos have earned her millions of views, and a loyal following well over 350k on YouTube.

But it didn’t just happen overnight…

“Momentum is not doing one thing great and then everything is good…for most people momentum is like—you have to get really close to see it. It’s happening at a microscopic level. It’s slow but it is happening.”

Learn what makes her tick, finding true love within yourself and your business, and the nitty gritty truth behind getting your life on purpose.

In this Podcast you’ll learn:

  • How Shannon gained 100,000 YouTube subscribers in six months
  • How she dealt with the shame of having low numbers when she first started on YouTube
  • How Shannon discovered her life’s true passion of intimacy
  • How she overcame the industry shaming her for being a sexologist
  • Why she shies away from the word entrepreneur
  • What self care means to Shannon
  • And lots more
Binge on dat Boody!

IG: @Shanboody
YouTube: Shan Boody
Facebook: Shan Boody
Twitter: @ShanBoody
www.shanboodram.com

Loved this and want more? Check out our other episodes here.

Spark a conversation! Leave a comment below or say hello @alexbeadon on Instagram.

Transcript Available Below

Alex Beadon 0:02
Do you ever feel like you’re trying to balance it all, nourishing your health while growing your business and living a life well lived. And no matter how hard you try, sometimes you slip from purpose driven into autopilot. Take a deep breath, relax, and let’s get you back to where you belong on purpose

Welcome to on purpose, the podcast that helps you align your life energy with business strategy. This is your co host, Alex Beadon. Here checking in, are you ready to live your life on purpose. Today we’re going to be speaking to one of my favorite YouTubers of all time, the one the only Shannon booty. In this podcast, you will learn how Shannon gained 100,000 YouTube subscribers in six months, we’re going to talk about how she dealt with the shame of having low numbers. When she first got started on YouTube. We’ll talk about how she discovered her life’s true passion of intimacy and so much more. Now listen, before we dive into this amazing interview, I just want to let you know friendly reminder that when you’re done listening, please don’t forget to leave a review. We have a mission to reach 100 podcast reviews within our first week of launching the on purpose podcast. And that can only happen with your support. So if you really enjoy the podcast, please return the favor search for the on purpose podcast in your podcast app, scroll down and click write a review. It would seriously mean the world to me for now. Let’s dive into today’s episode. Hi, Shannon, welcome to my show.

Shannon Boodram 2:00
Hi, Alex. Thank you for having me. It’s been a long time coming.

Alex Beadon 2:03
Oh, I know. I’m so excited to have you here. And I was trying to think today back to when it was that I first found you and I can’t for the life of me remember where it was. But I know I’ve been following you for years. I absolutely love your YouTube channel. You’re up to such epic things in the world. So I just want to say thanks so much for coming on the show.

Shannon Boodram 2:24
Thank you for having me. And thank you for all of your support. You’re one of the people whose name I saw it. I’m like, Oh my gosh, she’s stunning. Who is this? And I just always, you’ve always stood out to me. So I have never not noticed you. So whenever you came on board is probably the next day. I was like Alex is my homie.

Alex Beadon 2:40
Awesome. So let’s get this interview started. So my first question for you is, what do you find most nourishing about your career?

Shannon Boodram 2:48
how different it is how challenging it is constantly, like I’m working on the show right now for Facebook called makeup or breakup. And I only honestly love about that show is how hard it is every single week and how there’s different things are thrown at us and all these new components. And it’s a bizarre thing because I used to really hate being nervous. And I’m like, because I grew up running track and field and I was constantly nervous for every meet. And now I still have those nerves. But I almost love it. Because it’s a reminder to myself that I’m doing something outside of my comfort zone that I’m always growing and stretching and expanding my database of skill sets. So I love that my job is hard and hard is relative though I’m not in a coal mine. I am not saving lives, but just challenging mentally. Yeah,

Alex Beadon 3:31
I think that’s something that I’ve always loved about you. And something that has always drawn me to you is the fact that you always seem to want to be the best version of yourself, you’re really into challenging yourself and doing things that are going to make you a better person and that are what you do. And also you’re someone who I’ve always looked at and it feels as though your purpose has always been very aligned with your career. So I would love to hear you talk a little bit about that about your purpose and doing choosing to do things in your career that gets you closer to that.

Shannon Boodram 4:10
Yeah, and I think this is a story that my boyfriend hates to hear me tell because i You always share the story but just like it’s one of those things that I honestly believe that I knew I was meant to do intimacy and relationships and sexuality from like the age of five. I remember that my Barbies were constantly banned from being naked. I remember my first consensual sexual experience at like four or five years old and it wasn’t touching each other. It was just like, showing physical acts of like desire towards our pillows, and she went told her parents either in trouble my Barbies are banned from being naked and like a lot of my life I went to a Catholic school, like my natural curiosity for sexuality and intimacy was suppressed. So a good friend of mine, Melanie Fiona said that we often feel like we have to move forward in life that we’re moving towards our passion moving towards Finding our desire, and she’s like, I think it’s actually healthy to think about it like you’re looking back, you’re trying to find that original thing that you were drawn to that maybe you were scared away from, or maybe through a counselor, or parents, somebody told you, you know, you shouldn’t be doing that. And for me, it’s always been intimacy, I’ve always had a desire for that. So I look at my passion as not finding it, but really just going back and getting it.

Alex Beadon 5:23
Yeah. And what’s also really interesting about your story is that the passion that you’ve always had, since you’re a little girl, is something that is quite taboo and something that a lot of people frown upon, and is not to be spoken about, especially as a woman. And so I’d love to hear you talk about the struggles that you had in really stepping into this as a career for you. Because I can only imagine that must have been incredibly difficult. And even so because of the fact that it’s a taboo topic.

Shannon Boodram 5:58
Exactly, I think you’ve hit all the right nails on the head for that. And I’m very patient with people in regards to where they’re at with their comfort level with sexuality, because I feel like I’ve experienced all of them myself. So I’m never like, come on three more liberated because I looked back at, you know, 25 year old Shannon, whose book just came out, but had this still shame. You know, I had this book out in stores, I remember trying to convince them like, Please don’t call it laid, let’s call it something else. Let’s call it something softer, like, just because I was ashamed to have this book that was so obviously about sex. And it definitely took a long time, the very first time I told my parents about what I was doing. Mind you, I did it in like a sneaky way I was writing my book laid. And I really needed to collect stories, because laid was all about like, let’s all educate each one, teach one. But let’s do it in an interesting way by sharing our experiences so others can learn vicariously. And so I had to tell my story in order to collect other stories. So I put the story online, of how I lost my virginity. And it wasn’t, you know, a cautionary tale tale story. It was just, it was like exactly how I would tell a best friend, now my internet experience and end up being great. But I described the sex I describe the feelings that I have this person I described the second time that we had sex the next day. And so I sent this story and this website to my parents and said, This is what I’m doing while they were on vacation. And my mom came back like four days later, still equally as angry, I’m sure as when she first read it, and her reaction was like, boys are going to be laughing and masturbating at you, they’re going to be in groups, just reading your story and laughing and masturbating. I was like, you’ve obviously never hung out with dudes before one. But number two, like that was like the base fear that everybody would just abuse me and think down upon me and look at me as a porn star. And, you know, I carried bits of those. And obviously, that place of fear was at a place of protection. She just didn’t want to see me exact like marginalized or abused in that way. And it definitely did take me a while. And so once my at 19, I was really proud. And then around 20 to 23, when I was talking about it in college, because I went to school for journalism, I felt the shame from them when they told me that like, maybe you should change the topic that you’re writing about. Or there’s oftentimes they would say, Hey, you can’t promote your website, which was the one looking for stories. And then my book finally came out again, I was like trying to change the title to make it softer. And then after late and I finished promoting that I went to University of Toronto got my sex education counselor certification, I was working in the offices there. And about a year after that when the book died down there with all the hype died down, I was kind of like, maybe I just want to be a feminist writer, maybe I want to be a musical writer, I don’t know if I want to be a sex education writer. And so I shied away from that place for some time. And I joined this website called those girls are wild. And it was just doing general female empowerment. And it was a good time in my life. But it was, you know, kind of a last vague time. And it wasn’t until I moved to California within 2014 that I really, really embraced the role, went back to school and said, No, this is what I do for a living. No, this is what I talk about. And even in those past four years of doing that, and reclaiming this space, there’s definitely been some hiccups for me where I have felt that creep up of shame. So it’s a constant battle inside of myself. So I can only imagine people who don’t devote themselves to this topic area, how it must be a struggle for them.

Alex Beadon 9:20
And even I remember and I can’t remember the details. I remember I watched one of your videos, and you were saying how an opportunity came up. And then basically, they gave you the job found out about your YouTube channel online, and then pretty much took it back and they were like, well, you know, we can have someone who’s talking about these things representing us. How do you deal with that? Like, how do you find it inside of you to be like, I know that this is what I’m here to do and that and that this work is good and also like, because there must be a lot of self doubt and like second guessing yourself like Well, are they right? You know what I mean?

Shannon Boodram 9:58
Absolutely. And at that time I’m the because it was like they were offering $10,000. And at the time, that would have been the world to me like that would have made a massive difference between struggling to put together rent struggling to survive, and like being okay for a few months. And so it wasn’t like a job that I was like, oh, whatever I just missed out on it, it really, really did crush me. And I’m so proud of myself, like looking back with all these little moments. I’m like, I wish I could just hug you and say thank you. And I wish when I was two, three days ago, we me and my partner were walking on Sunset Boulevard. And when I first moved to LA, I moved with nothing, no job, nowhere to live. And like no idea how I was going to make it in this town. And we stayed at this place called like, the Comfort Inn, or the it was called the American inn or something. It was some motel. And I was walking every day to this restaurant called Tender Greens. And I was walking down the street a few days ago. And I’m like, I wish I could pass my past self and like, Just tell her on the way like, you’ll be fine. I wish I could just like give her a quick hug or like whisper in her ear. Like, don’t feel afraid right now, I know you’re afraid. And this is a hard thing to do. But like you’re going to it’s going to work out okay for you. But I’m just I don’t know, I’m an awesome times. And I was able to push through and even now like I I’m really good. I’m a very good stage host. I’m very good at presenting, I went to school for journalism. So I understand storytelling, I really could do PR, there’s a lot of great bass tools I think I have which makes me really good at my job as a sexual speaker and amplifier for a message. And I hosted this event last week called we gather and it was like a feminist event. And it wasn’t about sexuality. And then afterwards, producer came up to me and said, No, you really could do other stuff, you really could do other hosting. And I was like, Man, I know, I don’t want to do this. I don’t mind doing these as one offs. But I don’t want to skew my career towards being a general when I have a niche that I’m really passionate about. And now I can say that because I’m doing fine in this industry. But I think that that that took a while just to really be like, No, it’s okay, I’ll lose other jobs. I’ll say no to other things. I know where my lane is. And I’m really, really happy swimming there.

Alex Beadon 12:08
So what would you say your mission is? Or your purposes? Like, what is it that you’re trying to achieve in this lifetime, with all of the things that you’re doing and creating?

Shannon Boodram 12:18
I mean, I see it all the time in my comments. It’s just people who say things like you changed my sex life or my perspective on relationships, or because of you like I’ve gotten out of bad relationships and where I was two years ago in terms of intimacy is nowhere compared to where I am now. And even people who are like this one person tweeted, didn’t follow me. But there’s one person tweeted, I think the relationship expert sex expert role is bullshit. And the girl tweeted back to her, Do you know who Shan booty is like, you should watch this stuff. It’s not bullshit. Like, you won’t be able to help but look at your life and your romantic life in a scientific way after watching her videos, and that’s what I really want. I want for people to be like, Okay, hang on, how do I actually get good at intimacy? Because I don’t think that we often are, have the thought process that we have to get good. Most people think we just fall into it. And I actually had an experience the other day where this I went out for dinner with this girl and she was telling me her love life woes and the drama she was going through. And she was like, I don’t know why. But I fell in love with my friends would benefits. And I was like, I do know why it’s there’s a biological link that happens when people have sex together. If you’re not aware of that. It’s kind of like being like, I fell in love with pizza. And I’m not sure why. Like, there’s clear reasons why we are attracted to certain things that we interact with on a consistent basis. If you fall in love with cigarettes, you wouldn’t be like, I have no idea why I’m addicted, we have an understanding of the chemical bond that’s happening. But when it comes to love and romance, we have no clue. And so I was trying to explain to her and she was like, Oh, well, you know, I don’t like like to learn about that stuff. I just prefer to experience it. I’m like, Okay, we’ll be miserable. Like, it’s just somebody who just like, No, I don’t really want to learn. And so the people who do and who are nerds about it and want it to be a really, really powerful and controlled part of their life. Like just I think the same way with diet, there’s some people who don’t want to learn and just wanting to be like, whatever, I just eat what I want, which may work for you. But I think it’s much more empowering and magical to me to come from a position of knowledge, and to come from a position of self awareness. And so that’s what I really want for people is to have that same confidence that I know what’s going on. And I know how to make the right decisions for myself.

Alex Beadon 14:26
Yeah. So for me looking at your YouTube channel, it’s just so interesting to hear you say like, you know, what, you what is your purpose because from my perspective, I look at it and I’m like, here’s this woman who is so intelligent and so well spoken, and you speak about this subject sex and relationships and love and all that jazz, in a way that like when I tell people about your channel, they kind of give me this weird look like why would I want to look at that because they think it’s gonna be this trashy, like, you know what I mean? Like this just negative space that It is trashy because I think that’s what people’s idea of anything related to sex would be. And I’m like, no, she does it in such an educational way. And in such, just such an empowering way. And I feel like it’s so interesting to me because this is a subject that I feel like, needs a voice hasn’t been able to have a voice throughout the history of time. And now with the internet, people like you are able to come out and be like, Okay, I love this. I want to talk about it. I want to shine a light on it. And I think it’s just so empowering to see someone be like, it doesn’t have to be trashy doesn’t have to be the shameful thing. Like everyone does it everyone experiences it. So I just think it’s so beautiful, what you do.

Shannon Boodram 15:42
Thank you so much. It’s so loving. And it’s one of those things that I love. Because at this point, I have over 200 videos. So whenever someone says to me, I watched one of your videos, I just hold my breath to see like which one because there’s there are trashing ones that I’m really proud of, actually, and there are silly ones and there are hair ones like and so now this one, like whatever video you are drawn to, I mean to me says more about you and your interest and does about me. So my mom, for example, said that a doctor, she told one of her doctor friends that like oh, my daughter does this thing talks about sex and it’s obviously her channel. And the next day he approached you like, Oh, I saw one of her videos. Gemma, which one do you watch? It’s something about sexual private dancing. And, you know, he’s a good passing judgment. But as a mom, I don’t feel a way like there was 200 videos. This video he clicked on. Like of all the titles that he saw, that is the one that man was like, I’m gonna watch this one. So that says more about you than me. If that’s what you were drawn to then like so be it. That’s what I put it out there for my sexuality and I think it’s like a proud part of it. And if you watch the makeup video, great if you watch the pre come one on one video, or what does birth control do in the body? Or if you watch like, what is your love language, it doesn’t matter to me at this point, all the information is there, whatever your entry point is, I’m just glad people showed up.

Alex Beadon 16:56
It’s interesting to hear you say I have trashy videos, and I’m proud of them. Because to me, I look at all of those videos. And I’m like, I still think they’re all incredibly tastefully done. You know, like, I don’t look at any of them and think like, oh, like that’s, I don’t know. So it’s just, it’s interesting to hear you say that. And you’re right, like people are gonna watch it and take whatever it is that they take from it. But I just love that, like you own it. And it’s out there and you love it. And it’s just, it’s awesome. So I love it. Thank you. My next question for you is so I look at you as someone who’s really just gone all in, in building your personal brand, and then really figuring out how to create revenue streams from there, like how are you going to make money? But you’re always building your personal brand. I think that’s really like the core of what it is that you do. So I’m curious, would you describe yourself as an entrepreneur? Or would you say that you have your own business? Or how would you describe what it is that you do?

Shannon Boodram 17:55
I don’t know. I mean, like to describe myself as like Martha Stewart for intimacy, because I think there’s a lot of media personalities like who do what I do, like there’s Joe Rogan. And there’s Rachel Roy, who attach themselves to a lifestyle to a brand to an idea. And then they spread out on many different mediums and platforms to create a living for themselves. So Martha Stewart, for example, when you think of DIY and home decor, or maybe cooking, you think of her name and the top five. And when you do think of Martha Stewart, there’s many ways to interact with her, whether that’s buying her sheets at Kmart or it’s going through a website or purchasing her book or watching her showing VH one you’re seeing her on Comedy Central like but all that she does kind of relates back she never even when she was on Comedy Central the roast, she plugged her sheets. So I think that that type of monoculture that’s diversified in many different mediums is how I envision my career going. Is that person entrepreneur? Yeah, of course. I mean this. I answered that question as I was saying it. So yes, I do. I guess because I’m not really selling an item right now. And that’s one of the things I think I have to definitely work on. Because there’s some people who do it like Matthew Hussey, who’s a dating expert, there’s a formula that you should take if you’re going to be a digital personality, which is like, you sell seminars or you sell ebooks, and then you do this thing where you collect emails, and you give out a free gift. And then you mail them every two days. Like there’s a system in place to do it that like I don’t feel that I do particularly amazing. So I guess I shy away from the term entrepreneur because I’m not a well oiled business. But I work so yeah, I work a lot.

Alex Beadon 19:34
So it’s interesting to me to hear you say all of that, because I’ve always kind of wondered because I’m in that space like why you never ventured into that space. And then But then I see what you’re doing and you seem to be doing just fine like in your own way because I see you’re doing like sponsorships brand collaborations like you have your YouTube channel. I know you’re selling your necklace you’ve got sometimes I see you’re offering one on one coaching. You did the full screen series. Now you’ve got the Facebook show make up or break up. So like I see you doing lots of different things. And I’m curious about like, is there a strategy behind what you do? Do you ever Are you like sitting down and being like, okay, like, I need to find this project this project, like, how do you go about finding these opportunities for yourself? And what is the process for you behind being like, Okay, I need to make some money right now, what am I going to do to make it happen? Because really, and correct me if I’m wrong, it is in your hands. Right?

Shannon Boodram 20:27
Yeah, I mean, a wish. And that’s, you know, these are honestly great questions that I wish that there was like a long term strategy, I honestly feel vary day to day. And that can be problematic, because when things have momentum, I did a video once about kicking the ball and like momentum. And so if I’m in videos, yeah, and I’ve come into learning, there’s a lot in life that points back to us in there’s a lot in life that points back to us. And so it’s a catch 22. Because I do do things like YouTube, which is constantly putting out work and putting out energy into the world. Even social media is putting out energy into the world. I do my consistent one on one counseling services every single week. So I do have some consistent stuff that I work on. But no, I mean, am I creating an email database on YouTube going about from that perspective, and ensuring that even if I get no more jobs, no more opportunities, I’ve still collected, you know, 5000, like mines, that that, for me is always my base. I think that that’s a lesson I’d probably give to somebody when someone ever talks to me about wanting to build a brand or something similar to mine. I’m like, start with the business first, and then add the creative on top. Because I’m somebody who started with creative first and then was like, oh, yeah, I kind of have to make money off this. What’s that business thing. And it’s easy now. Because brand deals come to me and I’m an one of the known names in the space. And so if you’re a company who’s selling organic tampons, you’re gonna be like, Okay, let’s sell to these five, help these five influencers out or ask them to help us. But when I’m no longer in that space, or there’s new names that come up, and I’m going to have to find a way to reinvent. So that I think is the advice I would give to any person who’s in that sort of left right brain. That’s where we exist. We’re creatives, but we’re also business people start with the business first and add the creative on top. And even if you’re only having a business that’s structured around 10 People who are your audience, I mean, if that grows, you’re always going to have that base versus for me, it’s this massive catch up game. But it’s going well now, but this is a story of everybody, right? They’re doing really, really well. When they’re hot, they’re hot, and then when it’s over, they have nothing to fall back on. So I’m trying to work backwards, but that doesn’t happen to me. Right?

Alex Beadon 22:32
That’s super interesting. So do you have a team that you work with?

Shannon Boodram 22:36
It’s like I get asked, asked about bah, bah, bah. I actually like asked this question like two days ago, and I was kind of like reluctant. I do and I don’t, I have a very big management umbrella. Like there’s a lot of people in the sham booty. Percentage cut. I mean, I have a manager. I have an agency. I have a lawyer. I have a PR person. But Is anyone doing the day to day work? No.

Alex Beadon 23:03
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Shannon Boodram 23:50
Is anybody helping out with Creatives or writing stuff for me? Or working on treatments with me? Or really even for PR? Are they doing like my daily pitches or coming up with different stuff? No. They’re there for like to secure opportunities or to find things that are to catch things, I guess that it would be out of my scope. But the daily work? No, I It’s all me. That’s really

Alex Beadon 24:11
cool. Okay, so we’re gonna move into talking about YouTube now because I’m really curious to just pick your brain on what it’s like being a YouTuber. As of right now, I just checked you have 294,000 YouTube subscribers. So you’re like creeping up to that 300,000 mark, which is definitely a huge accomplishment, some accomplishment and something to be very, very proud of. But you started making YouTube videos four years ago, I think or at least that’s when your first video that I could possibly find was but I know that you had you were kind of playing around with it before your current channel. So tell us a little bit about your YouTube journey.

Shannon Boodram 24:47
Yes. And so in 2009, my book lead came out and I had no way to promote that I had no audience. I just I didn’t know how you’re supposed to launch at a publishing company. And I was under the impression that they would do it all but I think the more that you grow into these spaces, you realize, like nobody can do a lot of these jobs in terms of promoting yourself better than you. And so I started a website with a friend of mine who was on Degrassi who had a big following, which was a massive help for me, because she already had a name. And so it allowed me to create a space that was familiar to people. And I pushed my book through that we parted ways in 2011. And in 2012, I started my new my new YouTube channel, but I didn’t post on it at all. And it was kind of like a place of like feeling, because I suppose in the early wave of YouTube, where people weren’t really making a career out of it, and I’m like, What’s the point of me doing this, I might as well put all my attention on traditional media. And that’s what I did from 2012 to 2015. I only use YouTube, if you look back at like the videos I posted, they were mostly like, if I was on a TV segment, I would dump it over there. You know, if I had and the videos came up, like once every six months, or once every three months, maybe I’d post out for one month, and then I’d stopped for seven or eight. And I was really focused on trying to find a TV job that wouldn’t really allow me again, to get myself in that Martha Stewart space. And I did four pilots in LA, back to back for pilots neck, I don’t mean back to back, because how pilots work is that you shoot something you get locked up in this deal when they decide to decide if they want to pick it up or not. That means like you get one paycheck for six months. And then they say no, and then you’re back scrambling for another thing. And so I was like, basically caught up in these contracts for six months at a time. And the fourth one that happened was his MTV show, it was called unprotected text. It just felt really great to me, I knew it would be the one I’m like, this is the reason why this is why all my struggles happen. This all makes sense. Like this job was meant to save me and this will be my story. And short, and I had the worst year that year two was the most horrific year probably experienced in my life in 2015. And when that show also didn’t get picked up, I was like, what now? Like, what is my story, you know, when, and that’s one of my favorite quotes is you cannot connect the dots looking forward. And I had a really big habit of doing that. I’d be like, Oh, this goes here that goes there. And then it turns into a star and then I’m successful and life is great. And then when that doesn’t happen or come to fruition, you’re like, left devastated. And that’s where I was, and just had this thought immediately after like, how about YouTube? How about a space where the content that I put out actually get seen by people? How about a space where I’m in control how but I actually try there. And it was very difficult to try again in 2015. Because at that time, one of my friends Shameless Maya, for example, was killing it. I had a bunch of other YouTube people that I knew from over the years, or industry, people who had millions of followers or hundreds of 1000s. And so for me to start back up and make videos that were getting 1200 views, 400 views, like it was kind of embarrassing. It was a really difficult start. And I talked about this one of my videos how I bought views at that time, because I just I wouldn’t, I was so embarrassed to share, Oh, watch this video and one of my friends who like had a following to go click on it and be like, Oh, my God, she’s only getting 300 views right now. And that helped me a lot though, too, because in the first six months that I was starting YouTube, again, I was so hungry to get out of that space. I was such a hustler. And I gained 100,000 subscribers in six months, because I leveraged all of the people that I knew who had a following. And I was like, let’s collab. And I just moved and hustled, and like there’s a few times in my life, I look back, and I’m like, I’m really proud of you like writing my book was definitely one of them. And restarting YouTube, again, is another time that I’m like, I really, really, you know, did something wonderful. And I almost wish I could get back to that space. But mind you, I’ve kind of like, tapped out all my contacts, I gotta find new ones. But YouTube definitely is a wonderful vehicle. It’s a great way to teach yourself, it’s still a great way to challenge yourself. And you have to be in all positions, you got a program director, you are the marketer, you are the HR, you are the publicist, you are the camera person, the lighter the sound engineer, there’s so much learning that you can do if you want to get great at it, there’s a really great opportunity to experience a massive amount of self growth in this industry in a short span of time. I don’t know if it’s the hard thing about YouTube going forward for me is that it’s the one space that doesn’t grow with everything else. And so if you are not dedicating yourself to YouTube, YouTube does not love you. And it doesn’t matter if like no, I’m actually working on this really great show now or I got this podcasting deal or I’m writing a book right now like guys stick around, they’re like, Well, no, you’re not posting you know, every Tuesday that challenge video so we hate you. So that’s the hard thing about it is that you can’t It’s its own separate business model, which I’m trying to navigate how to balance that now as my life gets busier, but I never really want to like turn my back on YouTube again. So I’m trying to find a way to make that balance happen because again, I do really value that space.

Alex Beadon 29:52
Yeah, for sure. And how would you say that it has definitely been a vital part of it. You’re getting

Shannon Boodram 30:00
opportunities

Alex Beadon 30:02
in your career from YouTube.

Shannon Boodram 30:04
Oh, girl 100,000% I 100,000% YouTube. And I think again, especially if you’re telling a unique story, I mean, if you’re telling a story of beauty or inspiration or a typical human interest story, I think there may be other ways, but because I’m telling the story of intimacy and sexuality, and there is so much curiosity of how I’m gonna tell that story, or what I’m going to say, I think YouTube really allowed me to shape and shape people’s understanding and get them comfortable with the brand. And I’ve gotten a lot of brand deals from companies who normally wouldn’t work in the sex, sex space, or the sex education space, I think because of my YouTube channel and getting comfortable with the way I deliver. So I don’t think without that, I could have gotten probably, you know, it is a launching pad for everything. And where I’m at right now, in my career, it is, it’s a launching pad. So I have I owe so much. So, so, so much to YouTube.

Alex Beadon 31:00
Yeah, it’s amazing to me. So I’ve been doing YouTube for like, I don’t know, five years. And to be honest with you, I’ve always just used it as a place to host my videos, like, I’ve never really used it as like, Oh, I’m gonna focus on like growing my audience here. It’s really just been a place where I put my videos so that I can then embed them into my blog. And what ended up happening is that so many people were finding me through YouTube, keep in mind, my audience is super small. So I just hit 30,000 subscribers, yay, congratulations, thank you. But I feel like for me,

Shannon Boodram 31:34
bigger, crazy world we live in that we say just 30,000 I know, it’s a lot of

Alex Beadon 31:39
people. But what I always tell people just 30,000 Because I’m like, there are people who have millions and millions and millions. But I think for what what I do, because it’s so niche, like, I will never be someone who has, you know, millions of subscribers, because what I do doesn’t appeal to everyone. But yet, I still find so much value from creating content, number one, because I feel like it allows me to, or at least when I first started, it really allowed me to find my voice, you know, and really learn who I am. What it is that makes me special and different and how I relate to my audience. And I think it really helped me find my people. And so I can’t remember where I heard this somewhere. In one of your videos, you were basically talking about the difference between the people who follow you, maybe on YouTube, especially in the early days, like your core audience, and then the people who you might who might find you through doing something like I know you did that show on the view, who you know, they’re not your people, they’re not your audience. So I’d love for you to talk to us a little bit about the difference between the audience that you find on YouTube and the audience that you find elsewhere. Yeah,

Shannon Boodram 32:49
I mean, it’s getting harder and harder to kind of decipher. I do know in particular times, like, my core audience is you my core audience are people who have an active interest in learning about intimacy relationships are just in building connections with people and who are like, I want this content. And they come from many different places. I think the outside audience with people who don’t want that, but somehow stumble upon me. So for example, I did a collab via with the Hodgetwins, which has done really well for me, it’s like, like 400,000 plus views, but their audience I honestly, I love the Hodgetwins they’re really really cool guys, but have you ever watched Handmaid’s Tale? Their audience are like I don’t, they’re just, they are those people who would if they had the chance, put women back in the 1800s. They are sexist, they are nasty. They are just like, I don’t just racist, bigoted, just awful people. And I always know whenever that video for whatever reason hits a spike in views, because I’ll just get a wave of abusive comments all across my channels. And it always sources back to like, oh, there’s a lot of comments happening on this videos, they’re hopping over to other stuff, and they’re just spreading. And it’s difficult, like the view was a really good a great example, again, because I can get very accustomed to talking to you talking to people who understand and who are open minded and who want to learn and who have a certain level of respect. And it’s great, but there are people who have spent a very long time repressing and building up a wall, there are people who have done a lot of work to create a negative narrative in their mind. And when someone comes challenge that they just approach that like attack. And I have to come to expect that because it’s a very sensitive area that I’m talking about that people have beliefs they have had for generations sometimes. And it’s not up to me in one video to change their mind. But that video is there for them as well to it is there for them to see a new perspective, even if they reject it right away or call me all the names in the book or meet me with so much aggression. I have to hope that a maybe a bit of that seeps into their psyche and starts a small you know, spur of change but it that’s the part of putting yourself out there Yes, you, you can’t just want your audience, you can, you know, I think your audience should be 70% Your people because otherwise, I see some people who their platform is mostly negative and mostly attacking and like, Oh, it’s too much for your soul. But it is you do have to get the other people who don’t want you who don’t want your message and who don’t like what you have to say, because that’s who needs to hear what you have to say. And that’s, that’s been something that I struggle with, because I’m definitely a I’m not like one of those, like, take it on the chin kind of people. I’m very aggressive myself. And so you’ll see me like fighting in the comments. And my partner is somebody who is constantly being like, can you stop commenting back and do not do that? Or just block them? Why are you putting this energy out there? But I’m like, No, in real life, you could never talk to me without getting a debate out of me, you could never do that. And I think one thing I learned from the view, it’s a version again, it’s like one of those versions of myself that I’m like, I’m so proud of you because like that’s not the everyday me. That’s the thing too, is that there’s a lot of parts that I’m like, There’s sometimes I do shitty things like, Oh, that’s not a true reflection of me. And there’s sometimes I do great things. I’m like, That is not who I am most of the time. So I think it’s it comes with both, like knowing that, like, I’m not my best self, I’m not my worst self. I’m somewhere in between. But I watched myself on the view and the way that I handled their negativity. I’m like, I wish I could do that all the time. Because it was with grace. And it was with understanding and it was understanding that they’re attacking from a personal place. And if I was more accepting that they were willing to mirror that slightly towards the end. And so that’s going forward how I like to address people, but for sure, I’m just as likely to call them a basement dwelling loser.

Alex Beadon 36:41
I love it. So how do you feel about being an influencer? I think, you know, you’ve been in this space for a long time, I’ve been using social media for a long time as well, way before, like being a YouTuber was ever a thing. And so for me, I’ve looked at how social media has come and I feel like it was a really sweet place. And now it has kind of turned into this hit or miss place where I’m I’m just seeing so many people use it for great things like you, I look at you. And I’m like, Yes, like you’re, you’re moving forward, you’re moving towards a purpose. And then I see other people and sometimes I’m just like, okay, but like, is this ego driven? Like, what’s the part? Like, there’s a depth, you know, so I’m curious about your thoughts on the landscape of being an influenza?

Shannon Boodram 37:25
I like it, I think that yeah, to your point, like the word kind of gets like wrapped up in flat tummy tea and hair vitamins, which I just did, actually recently. So I don’t know, I think I like it. It’s a beautiful word. It’s a really, really, if you just break it down into very honoring word. I used to do background in movies. And that’s what we were called background like, you know, like background onset. And that’s not a nice title. And when you break it down for what that means, it means like, you’re just you’re just in the background, like, we don’t want to see you, you we don’t want to experience you like, we don’t want to hear you for sure. Like we just want you to be somewhere behind. And the term influencer is really, really nice. So I mean, I feel all the things that you feel about it, but I’ve kind of come to sort of enjoy it in a way for what it is, even though it can feel a bit fruity. I don’t think it is for me, but it can feel that way. Yeah. Um,

Alex Beadon 38:18
so my next question for you is your video. My career is not a fairy tale for anyone listening. That video, I think is my favorite video that you’ve ever done, Michael, wow, not a fairy tale, I just absolutely loved how you showed up. And you were so honest. And basically, the premise of the video was that, you know, you’re not always experiencing all of the highs in your career that you wish you were experiencing. And you kind of spoke about, you know, what it really means to be successful. And you had this great analogy of like the waves and how there’s big waves and small waves. And so I would love for you to talk a little on that. Because I know there’s so many people who are dealing with rejection and who feel very discouraged that their business isn’t going the way that they wanted it to go. Their career is not going the way they wanted it to go. And I think a lot of people just give up. And what I love about you is that you always find the beauty in Okay, yeah, things aren’t going the way I want them to go. But like, I’m going to figure it out. And I’m just going to keep moving forward and kicking the ball. So talk to us a little bit about that.

Shannon Boodram 39:24
Yeah, I also think that that’s a part of our job is you have to constantly create a storyline, a narrative, and if there’s nothing happening for you, that’s something to talk about. And that’s a beautiful space about YouTube where it encourages that kind of honesty. And so there should always be something you can create whenever you’re stumped for like I have nothing to say nothing to contribute, that’s what you have to contribute. And so I think when I go to those videos, like you know, Does God hate me and I have a bunch of them that are kind of like that, that are you know how to get naked and when they’re all coming from a space of like, nothing is going good. So like let’s talk about that. Nothing is And that’s a big part of the career that we’re in. Like right now. I am on the show I’m on Facebook’s makeup or breakup. It’s my first series I’ve done so many pilots are so many one off projects, or short term, I worked for MTV as guide to series last year, which again was it was great or full screen, of course. But there’s short term series of like a month, and you shoot and it’s over. Whereas in this show is my first like, six month job like I’ve never had that before. I’m I’m on it from September to February. So for this next six months, I don’t have to feel that sense of like, what’s next, or what am I doing. But in February, I’m very likely to be like, now what because what happens is when we’re working in, we’re on projects, and we’re being productive, we feel really great and energized. But it’s not as if we are, I don’t even know Julia Roberts, where we come off one set and go to the next, if you try to book Will Smith, he’s booked for the next three years. And that’s not the truth. For most creatives, most creatives, you have these really quick spurts. And it’s like I used the analogy of kicking a ball that you’re trying to get to the other side of the field, that you just want that ball to keep rolling, because you’re carrying so much, and it’s very, very exhausting for you. And so you kick the ball and you watch it roll you like, yes, it’s gonna make the other side. And then it stops. And you’d have to pick up all of your stuff, including your pride, your baggage is your home, whatever your relationship, walk towards that ball again, and kick it again. And then you hoping it’s gonna roll this time, but it only goes one more foot, and you got to do the whole thing all over again. And that’s exhausting. But that’s a part of the work that we do. And I was saying to my friend, Ari, one of the things that I kind of realized about life in general is that we’re expecting to have these great years, and we’re expecting to have these great careers and like is really, you know, our 20s to be amazing. I’m like, it doesn’t work that way. You start off having good days, or good day. I’ve had an act 2012 I had one incredible day that year where I was booked on set, I shot this pilot for one day, it was magical. And the rest of the year sucked. No, not subdue. Of course I wasn’t, it was great. I was healthy, everything’s great. But I just mean, in terms of my career, nothing else happened. And the following year, maybe I had one good week, one good week that like of the 52 of the year that I actually felt like I was in my purpose. And then the following year after that, maybe I had three weeks, and then it was a month. And then maybe I had one good quarter. Last year, I had a good six months. And then six months, I was like, What am I doing? How am I making money? What’s my purpose. And this year, I’ve kind of had a good nine months, you know, it’s been a really full situation. Now next year, I can go back to one day, who knows how it goes. But hopefully I’m building up to having a good year and then having good years, but it took time. And part of momentum isn’t like I do one thing. And now everything is great, which for some people it is. But for a lot of people momentum is like you have to really get close to see it. It’s happening on a microscopic level. It’s not even happening in the form of a ball rolling, it’s even like it’s electrons are slowly moving forward. It’s particles that are like inch by inch. It’s cells that are building, it’s slow, but it is happening. And after some time the momentum starts to get faster. I think that if we all have in the back of our mind that we’re not owed a good year, and it could take some time and if we love the process, and it’s a lot easier to stick it through.

Alex Beadon 43:18
And was that? Did it take you a long time to learn that like was it? Did you always have like this inner knowing that it’s just something you have to accept and just keep rolling with? Or is that something you’ve really had to work on as time has gone?

Shannon Boodram 43:30
Oh, hell no. You You saw me complain. So many tears, so many complaints. And it’s like, even right now watch my partner. He is a rapper. And so his career like he’s just getting started like with labels, he writes hooks for different rappers and like has is producing and just getting his you know, those those days at this point, there’s good days happening and great meetings that happened that would nothing following up. And there’s so much sensitivity and just rawness around his career. And I almost try to be that person that I want to be for myself four years ago who whispered in my ear is going to be okay, I try and be that for him. But it goes to that point, like you really cannot connect the dots looking forward. And it’s so easy for me now to say that I make. I’m in the top five percentile of income in America. And it’s easy for me to be like oh, you know, it all will work out and just keep working. And it’s all great because I’m here so it’s easy to say that when you’re in it, it’s you cannot tell that person that you can because it’s like nice to in the back of your mind. But even when you are that person you’re like that’s going to work for you but not me because you still have that doubt and you have no idea if it will ever come together so you can tell yourself those things. It’s nice to hear and I definitely tried to create as many of those quotables for myself or little life lessons. It’s not until you’re out of it that you actually get to sit in those sayings and those mantras and know that they are our true to them. But it’s no no no no no at the time I’m all tears and everything is the worst and I’m constantly like looking for jobs in the newspaper because I think I’m never Ready to work again. That’s where I’m that usually.

Alex Beadon 45:02
I love it. And I love that in those videos, you just show up and you’re like this format is so open and honest. And I think that’s just so I just love that about you so much. How do you balance growth in business with growth in like his, from all of the videos I’ve watched, like you seem super career driven, and purpose driven. But at the same time, you have the self awareness about like, what life is all about and enjoying your relationships and being in your body and yourself. So I’m curious for what that’s like for you. How do you balance growth and business being a hustler with the flow of life?

Shannon Boodram 45:39
What’s really dope about my job is that they’re both the same. And they’re like, every time that for example, yesterday, my makeup or breakup show, and I’m, it’s my job and to what I’m doing, but it’s like, there’s some things there. A lot of that is intimacy, building and intimacy, education, I’m learning things, we had this model that I’ve never heard of before, which is child, the child child to parent and adult to adult, which is the three ways that we should interact with each other within a relationship. And there has to be a balance. I’m like, Oh, I don’t know that. I’ve never heard of that before. So I’m always learning. I’m listening to audiobooks, I’m reading content, I’m meeting amazing people and having conversations with psychologists or therapists who I’m like, You have such beautiful insight. So I know I’m, like really fortunate to be in the space of, I think, I don’t know, whenever people tell me, they wanted to follow my footsteps and do what I do. I’m like, You should. It’s incredible. It’s awesome. It’s so fulfilling. And it doesn’t just help me in my romantic relationships, it helps me when I go and buy a piece of pizza, it helps me in my interactions with my bosses. Knowing how to connect with people is an invaluable tool that has furthered my life and every single aspect. There are some things like I’m not great, I’m awful at finance. You know, I’m awful at a lot of adulting things. I don’t think about cars. So I mean, for sure, my life has not allowed me to develop in areas I think would be useful for somebody my age. But in terms of just having a pleasant life and connecting with people and working well and cooperation based society, like I owe that all to the research that I’ve done. And that happens to be what I get paid to

Alex Beadon 47:12
do. That’s so cool. So you and your partner, Jared are both go getters. And I love his music. By the way, I had him on my Spotify, I was so high on Spotify to begin with. I was like, This is so cool. But so yeah, you’re both go getters. You’re chasing your dreams, you’re trying to make things happen. How do you balance that hustler energy between the two of you with actually making quality time for each other? I’m really curious about that dynamic that you guys have.

Shannon Boodram 47:39
It’s so crazy. Because in my previous relationship, I used to hate talking about work, I hated it. I’m like, can we please talk about anything else, because we just didn’t really see eye to eye on a lot. And I had a partner at the time who was very critical. And so I just it brought a lot of arguments. And I was like, I want to work with you like it’s just like, and so I developed this notion that like an ever more romantic relationship, I really want to separate work from it, because it just doesn’t feel comfortable. And I would hear couples who work together and be like, oh, like, how do you do that that just sounds like a recipe for disaster. But when I look back might know that that that relationship was disaster, like it didn’t need any extra help or additives. It wasn’t work. It wasn’t sex, it wasn’t any one thing, it was all of it. Whereas now it’s like, it’s a natural part of me. And so I need to find a partner who like that naturally makes sense that I can share that with I think that works for both of us. Like we had, we had a guest at our house for the past week was his producer from out of town. And so we just barely got a lot of time together. And so after my show, we came home and went for dinner and like the things that we’re talking about our dreams and our goals and like what we want next for the future. And like tomorrow, let’s plan this out. And let’s do this. And so it’s kind of like it’s our both it’s both of who we are. And so I think it’s a natural extension of what we want to share with each other. And it wouldn’t work for me with a partner who didn’t, you know, come from that same space, who didn’t just want to come home and play video games, who didn’t just want to come home and turn off and not think about work, I eat, sleep and breathe. And I remember, you know, in my past relationship, I was out for dinner and I got an email and it was on my phone. And he was like, you don’t have to do that right now. Like, you don’t have to do that. You can just be in the moment. And I’m like, no, no, no, this is me being in the moment. Because like, this excites me. And I would want my partner to be excited about what excites me. It’s like not take that personal look at that as as a choice of you or that it’s like, I can take this news and share it with you and we can have another discussion and elevate the energy level between us because we’re excited about our future that we’re building and it just, it didn’t work, you know, so I think it’s a lot of I credit that to just picking somebody whom I think is a better fit for me. But for sure, I mean, there’s times it’s just knowing when the time is right. There’s times we’re just having sexy time. There’s times when you’re just turning off watching a movie. There’s times when you’re joking around with each other but a large percentage of our relationship is we are each other’s like school counselors. We are each other’s there. peers, we are each other’s managers. And I think that that’s a joyful place to our relationship, not something that we feel like we have to manage at all.

Alex Beadon 50:10
I love that. And I love you. I know you guys had a YouTube channel, and it’s kind of put on pause right now, but I just used to love looking at the videos of you guys together, it’s just so great to see two people who seem to be on the same page and who have such a deep respect for each other.

Shannon Boodram 50:27
So awesome, thank you. Well, I know you get it too. It’s it’s like, I think that’s part of it, too, is like you, there has to be a balance, you know, when you’re doing this, like what’s making a return. And for both of us were like, this is cool. But the amount of work we’re gonna have to put into this to make it something is not something that either one of us want to take away from our main things like, I want to channel that reaches 300,000. You know, I want to grow and get new projects, I want to write a book next year. And this YouTube channel, if you could help it great, but it actually needs a lot of help. And that will be time and taking away from those dreams that I have that to be honest, are bigger dreams. And so it was like an experiment to see if it would grow really quickly. And we always want to do those like, because sometimes you just you hit gold, right? And if you started doing beauty videos, they started hitting goals, like okay, let me do this. But if you start doing beauty videos, I always say to creatives to so many creatives were like I’m you know, I’m really struggling in music. I think I might try YouTubing I’m like that’s not easier. It’s not as if that there’s not an easier choice. Like if you’re struggling there, it’s going to be the same work somewhere else. So we can try it out. Like if you want to see like, Oh, what if I started rapping would I become popular in a month. And if after a month, I wasn’t popular, I’d like you know, I’ll go back to doing sex education, because that’s hard. But this is hard, too. So I think we were just trying to see if it would be something that was like a overnight success. And when we knew it wasn’t going to be we’re both like not, we’re not ready to do the work for that. And I think that that’s an important thing for creative to be able to do. You can take risks, but you have to know when to pull out and when to do that quickly. And I think that quitting and learning how to quit is something that has taken me some time to pick up and I’m actually really proud of that skill set. Oh,

Alex Beadon 52:09
I love that. You said that so much. Because so often we feel like we’re almost married to the projects that we’ve committed ourselves to. And I just love that you’re just like, Yeah, it’s cool to quit, if it’s not working, if it’s not generating whatever it was that you wanted it to like cut your losses and move on.

Shannon Boodram 52:25
I like quit all the time. I am like I’m queen quitter. I started doing podcasting, like daily podcasting in you know, a few months ago. And then like a few, two, three months later, I’m like, this is not working. And I quit. But why did you stop doing that? Because it wasn’t what I wasn’t getting the results I expected and it was like becoming a mental drain for me. And don’t get me wrong, I get that persistence and consistency and you know, investment. But I’m like I do that already on other areas. Like I don’t have any more grind in me if it was going to be easy. Great. It’s not cool. I’m done with that.

Alex Beadon 52:56
Yeah, you don’t want to spread yourself too thin. Okay, cool. Um, lastly, I really want to talk to you about how you really take care of yourself. So self care, I want to talk about any daily practices that you have that really support you and your growth. So yeah, can you talk to us a little bit about that?

Shannon Boodram 53:18
Yeah, I mean, I’m again, I’m like, really? Yesterday, we were going for dinner and walking, and Joe made some kind of comment about how hard it is and how hard this time is. And I’m like, Yeah, but we still get to because we were watching we’re walking with this restaurant called Catch and catch is like all SUVs and like fancy cars. We should go inside I’m like nah, like I’m not in the mood I wasn’t in the mood for like, do you have reservations? Or like are you drink and get turned away? It was wasn’t in that mode. And it’s like, oh man is this like this thing is like so hard so much rotate. There’s so much this and I was like, Yeah, but like we’re still going out for dinner. Like, at this time, we’re still gonna wake up tomorrow whenever we want. Like, I’m still going to be able to like work out first or do something cool or talk to Alex like, I think that self care for me is just being able to choose what I want to do shit. Whatever that is like choose when I want to shower choose when I want to chill, choose when I want to take an afternoon nap what I want to wake up. I mean, obviously, some days I don’t have that choice because I have you know, a gig to go to. But by and large like I don’t have a nine to five or, and there’s benefits nine to five, you get to go on vacation. You know, you get to come home from work and not worry about it. You got to have structure. There’s there’s two sides that I never looked down at either one because I know. I know keenly. There’s some personalities that are fit for one and not fit for the other. I’m not fit for a nine to five. Mostly because I’m not like good at being. I’m like I’m good at working with people. I’m not going to work in under people. Right? And I’m like somebody who like if you put certain hours on me I’ll just find myself feeling very tired. So I just think I don’t always think self care is self care isn’t the life that I’ve created for myself. It’s like not even necessarily because I’m I have to go out of my way to do because I’ve spent so much time creating a career that is enjoyable for me that gives me the flexibility that I want. I’ve spent time investing in learning relationships and intimacy and and being able to select a partner, who at this time brings out the best in me and has created exponential growth for me, both emotionally and like monetarily like I’ve, since we’ve been together, I’ve gone from struggling to pay for rent to like, being able to pay other people’s rent and being able to be a contributor, my family in a way that I didn’t envision before. So I think that self care is just like, I don’t know, it’s an everything that I do. I don’t do anything. I do things that I hate, like taxes and shit. But by and large, it’s like a majority of my life is doing things that I enjoy. So I don’t really have to go out of my way to say, Okay, now it’s time for Shannon, because most of my life is like things that, you know, Shannon loves. Oh, I love that

Alex Beadon 55:48
so much. You have no idea. Awesome. Thank you for sharing that. Okay, so I have a few questions that I asked everyone at the end of an interview. So let’s dive in. What is one thing you do that has been a non negotiable in keeping your career successful and on track?

Shannon Boodram 56:05
Preparation, that

Alex Beadon 56:07
share one mindset that every creative needs to succeed?

Shannon Boodram 56:12
Do not connect the dots looking forward, you can only do it looking backwards. Looking forward, you just have to believe in this quote, let me see if I’m right. No, it’s not. It’s a Steve Jobs quote. I will pull it out. Anyways, it’s a Steve Jobs quote that basically says that, like, at some point, you got to just believe in something, you have to have a vision and just go for it. Don’t expect for everything to fall into place first, before you have that thing. And so you cannot connect the dots looking forward, you can only do it looking backwards. So don’t try to assume that if you do this, that that will happen. Because it probably won’t. And you’re going to be devastated if you tell yourself that it will. I love

Alex Beadon 56:49
that so much because it also required it sparks a trust in you that this is taking you in the right direction even if you can’t see it. That’s beautiful. Um, so these are fill in the blank questions. So the world would be a better place if more people knew themselves. That’s good. The book that changed my life was

Shannon Boodram 57:10
the social animal by David Brooks.

Alex Beadon 57:13
That’s a check that one out I’ve never read it. And last question off the top of your head. Who would you like to see me interview next? Oprah thank you so much, Shannon. I love you so much. And I’m just so happy that we got to talk today. I feel like people are gonna listen to this and take so much out of it. So thank you so much.

Shannon Boodram 57:37
Congratulations on starting your podcast and all your ventures congratulations on interviewing Oprah who knows when I’m not saying the next one. But I definitely think that that’s where you’re heading. Thank you. You’re just been awesome. Such a great uplifting lights. I appreciate this interview.

Alex Beadon 57:52
Thank you so much. Have a wonderful weekend.

Shannon Boodram 57:54
Bye You too. Bye girl.

Alex Beadon 57:55
Bye bye. Thank you so much for tuning into the on purpose podcast and I really hope that you had as much of a blast as we did. If you liked what you heard and want even more, make sure you leave a review because it really helps support what I do here on the podcast. All you have to do is search the podcast app for the on purpose podcast, select it then scroll down until you see write a review and then type away at the beginning of the next episode. I will be picking one review one special review My favorite review of the week and I will be reading it out for all of you guys so you definitely don’t want to miss out on that. I hope you really enjoy your week and I will see you guys again next time stay on purpose.