#012 – Becoming a Business Bada$$, the Health of your Wealth & How to say YES when others say NO with Gala Darling [EXPLICIT]

Alex Beadon 0:00
In today’s episode, I speak to gala darling whose mission is to empower women to become the badass version of themselves. We talk about becoming a business badass, the health of your wealth, and how to say yes when others say no. Welcome to on purpose. Do you ever feel like you’re trying to balance it all, nourishing your health while growing your business and living a life well lived. And no matter how hard you try, sometimes you slip from purpose driven into autopilot. Take a deep breath, relax, and let’s get you back to where you belong. On purpose

this is episode number 12 of on purpose with Alex speedin. And today’s interview is one of my personal favorite guys. gala darling is an author, a blogger and a huge proponent of radical self love. I personally adore her because she absolutely prioritizes good vibes only. And she truly walks the talk of what it means to live a life fully expressed and fully committed to your fulfillment and happiness. Plus, she’s an entrepreneur I really look up to this episode is uplifting, high vibe, and probably exactly what you need today. So take a listen and let me know what you think on Instagram. Enjoy. gala darling, welcome to the podcast. I’m so excited to have you here with us. Thank you for joining us.

Gala Darling 1:34
It is my absolute pleasure.

Alex Beadon 1:36
So the first question that I’ve been asking everyone is what do you find most nourishing about having your own business?

Gala Darling 1:45
Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom.

Alex Beadon 1:50
And tell me about the freedoms like what kinds of like which freedoms are most exciting you right now? How about that?

Gala Darling 1:57
It’s the freedom to create anything I want. It’s the idea that I can have an idea in the morning, and have it live by midday and instantly be getting feedback on it. I don’t need anybody’s approval, I don’t need to ask someone like, do you

Alex Beadon 2:15
think I should do this,

Gala Darling 2:18
which is not just about freedom within I have my own business, but freedom within my own creative self, that I have the confidence and the passion and the knowledge of who my people are that I can do that. And there’s no fear around it. You know, I can’t remember the last time that I created something for my people, and they didn’t go for it. Because I’ve been doing this for so long. I really know what they want. And I really know how to help them. And I really know how to serve them. And so it’s this really delicious thing. And it also is like it’s all on me. So if I want to, you know, take two weeks off, which is what I’m doing right now. I just got to LA last night. That’s awesome. Do that. And and I don’t have to fucking work for two weeks if I don’t want to.

Alex Beadon 3:07
Yeah, for sure. Okay, cool. So I feel like you’re different from many online entrepreneurs, because I don’t think you came into this thinking, Oh, I’m going to start an online business. Like you were just being creative from the beginning. So I would love for you to just like share your entrepreneurial journey with us, like, how did you get started? How did it transform into what it is now?

Gala Darling 3:30
So you’re sort of right, and you’re sort of not right?

Alex Beadon 3:34
Tell me more correct me. Okay,

Gala Darling 3:36
so I started Gala. darling.com, in 2006. Because I had just moved to Australia, I couldn’t get a job. And I was like, I always wanted to start a magazine, but I don’t have the money. I’ll start online, and I’ll see what happens. Right? The idea was always that it would make money. But it was a really old model. It was a model of like, I’m gonna start a blog and try and make money that way. It wasn’t like I’m gonna be a life coach, or I’m gonna sell digital products like this is way before all of

Alex Beadon 4:05
that was it through blog advertising.

Gala Darling 4:07
It was originally like the first time I ever got paid off my blog, was having American Apparel buy an ad on my website. That’s so cool. Which is totally like such a picture of what the time was, like, that’s such a time capsule of a moment. But the thing is that I had been creating online spaces, web pages. You know, honing my online persona, which sounds weird, but really is an art form. Since 1996. Like I got an internet connection. When I was 13 years old, I learned HTML I coded everything by hand and I was like, off to the races like it was my favorite thing to do. And so I always feel like there’s a lot of power and thinking like what did I love doing when I was a kid? You probably still love that shit. And we live in such an amazing time now where you can make money from that if you’re smart. Yeah. And that’s amazing. Like that is like what a time to be alive. Seriously, I think that all the time.

Alex Beadon 5:12
It’s so it’s one of those things where it’s like, we it’s so easy to take for granted. But when you actually stopped to even think about our parents, like our parents didn’t even have these opportunities. So yeah, you’re totally right. Mind blowing. Yeah, but you got started. And then because Okay, so you started off with like, fashion. You had the idea of mind for this magazine, getting big companies to pay for advertising on your blog. What was the next like, transition point for you?

Gala Darling 5:39
So I was like, Oh, my God, yes, I’m making it I’m getting asked American Apparel. This is only gonna get better. And then I moved to New York City in 2008. And the economy crashed. And people were like, we’re not buying vlog advertising. Are you fucking crazy? I was like, Oh, shit. And I was living in New York. I had a sublet and the West Village, it was three. No, it was $2,500 a month, which is a lot of money. For me at the time. It’s still a lot of money, like, yeah, so a lot of money. And I was like, wow, I need to figure out how to pay my rent, because I really don’t want to be homeless in New York, that would suck. And I got on the phone with my friend Mike Dooley, who runs notes from the universe and is an author, an amazing man. And I said, what, what do I do? Like, how do I make this happen? And he said that he used to walk around his house with a Dictaphone, recording his thoughts, and then he would sell those on CD to his audience. And I thought, That’s a great idea. But my audience is not going to listen to a CD because we’re modern. And I wasn’t that confident speaking yet. So I thought, I will write a book. And I will write one chapter a month, and I will record myself reading it aloud. And I will sell it as a serial. I remember you doing

Alex Beadon 7:00
this? doing that. Okay, keep going.

Gala Darling 7:05
Right. And it was called Love and sequence. And every month was a different topic. So it might be like love and relationships or friendships, or I don’t even remember what the other topics were. And every month, I would go to a cafe and I would sit down and I would write like 20,000 words would write a chapter for caught it and send it out to the people who had bought it. And it was amazing. I was so nervous about putting that out into the world, I was worried that my audience would think I was a sellout or that they would be offended that I was asking for compensation for what I was doing. But what I realized is that when people love what you do, they’re happy to pay for more of it, if they believe the value is there, and the quality is there. They’re thrilled to give you money for that. Yeah. And that was like the first my first foray into digital products. And, you know, it was like a PDF. And people bought things using a Pay Pal button was like, unbelievably simple. And I

Alex Beadon 8:01
didn’t have Yeah.

Gala Darling 8:05
I didn’t even have a mailing list. So when people would buy them, I’d send them out by hand, one by one in Gmail. And I would stand out, like, you know, 200, and then they would block my account because they thought I was spamming people. And it was, there were a lot of growing pains. Like I was really just like, trying to figure it the fuck out. Yeah. And, but I made $100,000 off of that book. Oh, that’s amazing.

Alex Beadon 8:29
And then I realized for you at the time, that must have been like, firstly, you were kind of cornered, because you, you, you were forced to evolve. And then I think that’s so beautiful. I like that challenge. This is great for the listeners have like, a challenge. I could have knocked you off your horse and been like, oh, well, like, no one’s paying me to advertise on my blog anymore. Like I’m over. You evolve. So I love that.

Gala Darling 8:52
Absolutely. And, you know, by that point, I had been blogging, you know, full time for, I guess, two years or a year and a half. And I loved it so much. There was no fucking way that I was gonna quit. Yeah, like once you had a well, at least for me, you know, once I had had a taste of working for myself and doing things my own way. I would soon uh, jump off the roof and go and work for somebody else. I’m not made for it. I am not and every time I ever do one of those, like ridiculous personality tests, they’re like, You need to work by yourself. Yeah, I do. I do. Thankfully, boss to myself. So Right.

Alex Beadon 9:33
So you did that you then started selling chapters of your book, which then didn’t turn into the book?

Gala Darling 9:39
Yes, it did. So plot twist plot does. I’ve been used the bones of that, right. The manuscript for my first book, radical self love, which I shopped around for a while, you know, had meetings with like the big five publishers and I would get in the room with them. they’d be like, we don’t get this. Well, then why am I in the room with you? Yeah, it doesn’t make any sense. So that was really hard because I really believed like I was ready to publish this. And it was the right time. And there was such a need for it, like it was just the full body positivity really took off. So it was just a little bit ahead of the curve. And then when I kind of like, pulled myself together again and had the strength to like, send it out again and see publishers again, my agent was like, I can’t sell this right now. And I thought, You know what technology has changed, I am going to self publish this shit. And I used Amazon Createspace. And I hired my best friend who’s my graphic designer to design the cover and the interior and I hired my favorite photographers to shoot the cover. And I hired a girl to illustrate the chapters and put it on presale became a number one mover and shaker on Amazon, it was a number one new release in motivational self help. And as I did that, I got an email from Hay House, and they were like, how do we bring you into the family?

Alex Beadon 11:04
Wow, that’s awesome. Okay, before we jump away from that chapter, when you were in between, like trying to find a publisher, because you said that there was like a space where you kind of stopped and then you were like, Okay, I’m gonna keep trying, you’re your agent was it was like, now we’re not doing this. And then you’d like to Self Publish? How long was that period of like, you had the book, but it just nothing was happening.

Gala Darling 11:28
I think it was probably three years or something, maybe three years, it was a long time, I was really surprised by how much being turned down by traditional publishers would really like kick me, right. And I took that really, really hard because I believed so much in what I was doing. And I literally couldn’t understand why

Alex Beadon 11:50
no one was taking it. Want to do that? Yeah, wow. Three years. And then what changed?

Gala Darling 11:57
Well, I think I just, you know, I kept doing what I was doing, and my confidence grew and my knowledge grew. And I got more tools, I got more techniques. And now when I look back on that, I always feel like life is happening for us and not to us. And when I look back at that, I think I’m so glad I didn’t publish that book when I was 25 years old, because I didn’t know enough to really make it the book of it is now Yeah, and it’s a book now that I meet therapists, and they tell me they make their clients read it. And, you know, it’s a book that I think has some gravity to it. And, and part of the pain of me not getting it published at the time, you know, strengthens that book. It made me more determined it made it a better book. Yeah, I think that’s there’s such a lesson and when things don’t work out for us, it’s like, okay, how can you utilize that? Rather than, you know, playing like the victim or being sad or whatever, and you’re totally entitled to do that. I felt sad for two fucking years about that shit. You know, I eventually hold it together and and used it for a higher purpose.

Alex Beadon 13:15
Yeah. So for anyone listening who’s like, Okay, how do I tell the difference between I should just like wallow in my pain, and just kind of feel sad about it and like, let time pass? And like, no, it’s time to transform this into something bigger and better. What would your advice be?

Gala Darling 13:32
Well, there’s always like that period where you’re not sure. And maybe it feels bad. And you’re kind of like, I don’t really know what my next move is? And what do I do? And that’s a good time to, like, look at your life and assess what you’re doing, and how do you feel about it. And maybe if this project isn’t working, maybe there’s something in your life that you should be paying attention to instead, or, you know, maybe that kind of lull will allow you to build the desire so that when you really go for it, it’ll be super rocket fuels, you know, I think we can get really hyper focused on one thing and feel like if this isn’t working, my whole life is a failure. And that is never the case. And it’s important for us to like, maintain perspective. You know,

Alex Beadon 14:22
I love what you just said about like, if you’re going through something to feel stop and like take note of everything that’s happened and be like really awake and conscious about the decisions that you’re making and how you’re living your life. That’s beautiful. I love it. Right? Okay.

Gala Darling 14:35
You know, I think we would be very short sighted to think that everything else in our life isn’t affecting our creativity, our business, our bucking lust for life, like your relationships, the place your living, how tidy your workspace is, what you’re eating, how you’re sleeping, whether you’re exercising, your friendships, your spirituality, everything is connected and when pazza If your life is suffering, then they have a knock on effect, they ricochet through your entire existence. Yeah, we have to really keep an eye on everything. Like, for people who are type A, we’re achievers, we want to create great things. We want to make lots of money, we want to live a great lifestyle, we can really get fixated on my business, my business, my business, or whatever. And then everything else kind of falls apart around us. And then we’re like, okay, but I’m just gonna keep focusing on my business. And if I put all my energy into this, it’ll work. You’re kidding yourself.

Alex Beadon 15:35
Yeah, so what you’re saying is, like, half perspective, like, look at the big picture, don’t just get like hyper focused or obsessed over that one thing that’s not working. And I think also just like trust, like just trusting that when the time is right, the puzzle pieces will fall together, and that exactly what you said, everything is happening for you and not to you.

Gala Darling 15:56
And when you’re living in that state of flow, where you do trust, and crucially that you have appreciation for the rest of the things in your life, everything works. It truly works. And you will find yourself experiencing synchronicity all the time. Coincidences all the time. You know, I, I was thinking about this yesterday, I was thinking about how manifesting is not about calling in what you want. It’s about attracting what you are. So what’s your vibration? Where are you operating from? are you operating from a place of my boyfriend’s a dick, he didn’t do this to me, and I wish I was making more money, and I’m jealous of this person, and I hate my body. If you’re in that place, you are gonna attract more of that stuff, stuff that’s at that vibration and at that level. So it’s really important that we do whatever we have to do to raise our vibes all the time and raising your vibes. I’m in LA, like, it’s the most la sentence I’ve ever added.

Alex Beadon 17:04
It is so true.

Gala Darling 17:07
Really important that we make ourselves feel good every single day. And if you have no other goal, make yourself feel good first. And everything else will make sense. From there, you’ll figure it out. Like shit, and you’re like dragging yourself from goal to goal. Man, you could work your ass off, and it’s not going to feel good. And you’re not going to get there.

Alex Beadon 17:30
Yeah, for sure. Okay, we have to dive into that, because I feel like we’ve done something really epic. So you see what you just said, like, if there’s one thing that you’re going to focus on, like focus on feeling good. There’s such a balance between like focusing on feeling good, and really making sure that you’re in that high vibe place, and then maybe taking that too far, where like, you’re almost using it as like, an a way to procrastinate, or whatever. So I love to hear you on that.

Gala Darling 17:59
That’s absolutely true. And I think that there’s a balance to everything. And there are going to be days where you’re like, I just want to feel good, and you’ll stay in bed all day. And, you know, recently I have done so much self development, I’ve been to classes and courses and weekend retreats and stuff. And I’ve been exhausted, like I’ve made it to sleep. And I also have things to do, but I know that if I’m not sleeping, I’m not gonna get my things done. So I’m just allowing myself to sleep. And honestly, you know, when you’re just fucking around, or when you’re genuinely doing something that is going to make your life better or that you know what I mean? Like, I can give you all the guidance. But we truly know, I think

Alex Beadon 18:47
it’s also or at least from my own experience, it’s like from experiencing it you you find that contrast and the more that you just work on feeling good, the more you’ll realize, like when you’re feeling good, and it’s productive, and when you’re working on feeling good, and it’s not productive.

Gala Darling 19:04
Right. Well, there’s a kind of a wait, there’s a there’s a method of feeling good. That also feels icky. Mm hmm. Yeah, to my which, you know, like even saying that, like, I know that you know what I mean, when I say that, like, some days eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream and watching six in the city in bed feels amazing. And some days it feels gross. Yeah. And we have to be tuned into where it’s falling on the spectrum

Alex Beadon 19:35
are tuned in because like you need to know yourself to tune in. So what is what advice would you give to people who don’t think that they’re necessarily very good at tuning in?

Gala Darling 19:47
My best advice is to spend more time by yourself. And when I say time by yourself, I don’t mean looking at your phone, scrolling through Instagram, listening to a podcast Nothing I mean, like, go for a walk, leave your phone at home. Yeah. Or book out fucking weekend away somewhere by yourself. People might think you’re gonna be crazy and go live in a cabin in the woods forever if you get this, but it’s okay. They can think what they like, it’s so important that we get that time to ourselves. And meditation is a part of that as well, you know, really giving ourselves a space to investigate our own thoughts, rather than, you know, what is Instagram telling me? What is the television telling me? What are my friends telling me? What is my partner telling me? Yeah, you know, it’s really important that we have a curiosity about our own thoughts. And if we don’t give ourselves space, then we will never really dive into them. I love traveling by myself, because I get so much time to myself. I’m in an Uber by myself, I’m in an airport by myself, I’m on an airplane by myself, I’m in a hotel room by myself. And it’s in those moments where I’m just like, putting my makeup on, or I’m, you know, like unpacking my suitcase, where I just have these ideas. And these things come to me. And, you know, I love my boyfriend more than anything, but when he’s around, I don’t have as many of those moments because he’s talking or we’re listening to music or whatever, you know, it’s a very different experience. We have to spend time by ourselves.

Alex Beadon 21:25
So I’m curious how has spending time by yourself affected your business and your creativity?

Gala Darling 21:34
Well, I couldn’t do what I do. If I didn’t spend time by myself. I’m an only child. So I have a bit of an advantage there. I’m very comfortable being by myself. And I’m great at entertaining myself. Like I’m never bored. I’m never lonely. i There’s always something. Yeah, in my mind. You know. I watched an interview between RuPaul and Oprah the other day, which was I was like moms and oppressed it to rue what is the biggest sacrifice you’ve had to make in your life. Bruce said, you know, I’m by myself a lot. And in order to do really important work, you have to be alone. You know, Rue is married to a man, they’ve been together for 20 years, who lives here in Hollywood and his partner lives on a ranch and Montana, I think. And, you know, they see each other when they see each other. And, you know, Rue has a life that has a lot of space in it, because an audit to create and evolve and even percolate on your own thoughts and where you want to go, you kind of be by yourself. Yeah. You know, when I, when I lived with my ex husband, I had an office in our apartment, and I would just be in there and close the door all the time. And I needed that space, like a space where I could decorate it the way I wanted it, I could play the music I wanted, I could just be in there. And even if I wasn’t walking, I would just like look out the window, and be with myself.

Alex Beadon 23:12
I love what you said about creating that space. Because that’s so important. If you want to invite things into your life, whether it’s you know, you want to sell this much of your product, or you want to create a new product or whatever it is in your business or your life, having the space to make that happen. physical space, emotional space, that energetic space, like is so so important. I love everything you just said that was so good. So I’d love for you to talk to us about any practices that you have. Because you mentioned meditation. And I know like the obvious ones would be meditation, journaling, you know, moving your body. But is there anything that you’ve discovered recently that you’re super excited about that you could share with us?

Gala Darling 23:57
Yes, and I’m so glad that you asked. Okay, so I met this girl about maybe a year and a half ago, I think last January, I met this girl named Alexandria roxo. She lives here in LA lover, beautiful, mystical healer, wonderful woman. And we started to develop a friendship even though we’re on opposite coasts by recording gratitude lists, via voice memo and sending them to each other in the morning. So my morning practice for a really long time, would be to wake up. As I walked my dog, I would listen to Abraham Hicks, which I was loving, like on a massive trip over and then I would make a gratitude list for Alexandra and texted to her and when she woke up, she would listen to mine and text me how’s back. That was our joint morning practice for probably six months or so. And now we are experimenting with new formats and my new format is this. Okay? My new format is, and it’s all via voice memo, which I love, because it’s really nice to share it with someone, and you kind of become spiritual running buddies. Right? So you know. Yeah. But you know that they’re waiting for your voice memo. So you have to do you don’t want to let them go right? It’s better than just journaling, because your journal doesn’t really care if you’re there or not. Yeah. So my new practice is I get on the voice memo, I do some gratitude. It’s typically like three or four things. And I really, rather than just like rattling off a list, I like to really get in there and really feel it, as I’m saying, it makes it so much more real and more delicious. And then there’s two other things that I do, I state, a desire that I have for today. So something either want to create experience feel today, and then a desire that I want for the future, quote, unquote, because the future can be in like five minutes, but it’s like a bigger picture desire. Now the key is with these two desires, I state them as if they’ve already happened, right? I love so I’ll say like, so I’ll say my gratitude. And then I’ll be like, and for desire, I had the most beautiful day to day, I did this, I saw this person, I felt this way, blah, blah, blah. And same goes for the future, quote, unquote, desire, I stayed it as if it’s already happened. And as I’m doing it, I, you know, when I did my gratitude list, and it was just a gratitude list, I would walk along the street, and I would be slightly distracted. Now, when I do this practice, I’m really sitting in it, and I’m visualizing as strongly as I can. I’m really feeling it. And I’m really luxuriating in the image. And I turned the image up, like I make the image even more colorful, more bright, more exciting. And it feels amazing. And it’s also a really good manifestation tactic. So like, really, it works. Every time I’ve done this, I’ve experienced what I wanted to experience. And it just feels really good.

Alex Beadon 27:05
That’s awesome. That’s really good share. I like it.

Gala Darling 27:08
It’s also it’s really funny. It’s a thing that I’ve been doing for a really long time. So as an only child, again, love to walk around talking to myself. And I’ve found that I would often just out loud randomly This is so we started conducting an interview with myself where somebody was asking me like, how did you achieve that amazing thing? Or like, how did you do that thing? And I would talk back to them, as if I had already done it like, well, you know, I had a little problem here. But then I did this, and I tried this, and bla bla bla and I’m so happy with the result. And I’ve been doing that since I was a kid. And I don’t know where I got that idea from. But it’s working for you. But man, it works.

Alex Beadon 27:54
Okay, cool. So there’s so many places that I want want to go with this conversation. But there’s two really big things that I want to cover on and I want to make sure we get to them. Okay, so the first thing is, your offerings have really evolved over your entire career. Right. So you started off doing the online magazine, then you moved into the emails, then you have the book and then you did was it called Blog blog Academy? While yes, blog Atomy blog Academy, I always want to call it blog Academy. All right, blog Academy, which you did with two of your best friends. Then you you’re now doing like many courses, because I just signed up for one I signed up for the money one, what’s it called? The money amount of medical

Gala Darling 28:37
rituals, abundance? Yes. So that’s an amazing cost. You know, how many people have made $100,000 In two weeks doing this class? I was like, wow,

Alex Beadon 28:47
I know. Every time you share about it on Instagram, it makes me so freakin happy. Yes. And now a

Gala Darling 28:56
thing and like giving women the freedom to have money means you don’t have to answer to anyone, you get to do whatever the fuck you like. And so this is like a radical feminist act is to up your earning capacity and to be able to manifest money. You’re fucking unstoppable. Yeah. Especially for when many people stay in bad relationships or bad jobs because like they need the money, or they don’t have any money. Imagine if that was not a limitation for you anymore. You’d be like peace out, motherfucker. I’m gone.

Alex Beadon 29:30
Yeah, for sure. It’s just giving people the power to make the decisions that they really want to make. Yeah. And I love as well that it’s helping people who may not even be entrepreneurial, but people who are just, you know, in average, nine to five jobs who are able to bring in, it’s awesome, but Okay, my question is, how do you come up with the ideas for your courses? How do you go about launching your course because I saw that you launched that one. And there was a while there where you were promoting at camera with a promotion. Why? But I was wondering, I’m like, is this planned? Or is this like just very in the moment? So tell me a little bit about your process, your creative process.

Gala Darling 30:07
Um, my creative process is sporadic. Honestly, I’m not a big planner, I, I like to have an idea and just hit the fucking button and see what happens. Like, that’s really fun to me. And even when I was blogging all the time, I really resisted having like an editorial calendar even though I knew it would make my life easier because I was like, this is boring. I don’t want to do this offends me and so I’m okay, how do I come up with the idea to my classes, I really I look at like, where I’m struggling or where I’m having trouble or something that I hear from people all the time and I then create something around it. My latest class is called metaphysical matchmaker. And

Alex Beadon 30:51
how am I not heard of this?

Gala Darling 30:54
I’ve literally only shed one thing on Instagram stories about it. And I’m about to launch a five day challenge so people can try that out before they go into the program. Metaphysical Matchmaker is about cleaning up your vibration around love and, and relationships, and then channeling your essence into your online dating. So like Okay, now that you feel good about yourself, what kind of photos should you take for Tinder? And what do you write in your profile so that you can attract someone that really gets you?

Alex Beadon 31:23
I love that so much, which I’m so excited about. I

Gala Darling 31:26
was originally going to call this class Tinder which and then I was like, they will totally certainly slash give me a cease and desist. Let’s say totally make it. Let’s make it more broad. So metaphysical matchmaker it is which is kind of like I love it, because it’s like Millionaire Matchmaker. Yes, yes. It’s so

Alex Beadon 31:43
good. Okay, so for something like that, okay. I always find myself my, if I look back at like my career of selling online products, I feel like I’ve always kind of leaned to being very by the book. So like, they always say, like, focus on one thing, and be known for that one thing, and like to it right? And if I look at you, especially right now, in this chapter of your career, you’re like, Okay, we’re gonna talk about money. And then we’re going to talk about your life. And then we’re going to talk about romance. And then we’re gonna talk about this. And it just seems like super broad. And actually, the one core thing that like, ties it all together is you. Right? And so I’m curious, like, what your thoughts are on that when it comes to like, really? niching? Down? So yeah, buy with me on that for a bit.

Gala Darling 32:28
Yes. niching down can be amazing. I really admire Marie Forleo. I think she’s the fucking shit. But I could never do what she does, because I would be crawling out of my skin with boredom. I just can’t do that. I can’t keep doing the same thing over and over again. Yeah. Like, you’re probably getting a really clear message from me through this interview that my whole shit is freedom. It’s like literally the first word. I said, Yeah. I need it. I need it so badly. And, you know, there was a time when I was like, radical self love, radical self love, radical self love. And it was great. And I believe in it. And it’s a huge passion of mine. But after a while, I was like, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m fucking sick of it. I can’t, and I can’t fake my passion or my enthusiasm. And I don’t want to bullshit my people. And if I want to experiment with something else, then I’m going to do it. Yeah. And the way that I, I mean, this was kind of my thinking about my blog as well. People would say, like, oh, you know, you write about so many different things. And most people just have like a fashion blog, or like a mommy blog, or whatever. And how do you? How do you make sense of the way that you do it? And I would always think about it like, like a magazine. Cosmopolitan doesn’t just write about clothes. They know who their customer is. And then they write about the things that their customer is interested in. And I do the same thing. I know who my person is. She’s a fucking badass. She doesn’t take any shit from anyone. She’s really creative or wants to be more creative. She wants to live by her own roles, and she wants to live an amazing, extraordinary exceptional life. She wants to wear wigs and go on vacations and have a hot sex life and feel free. I know who she is like, so anything that I create, I know she’s gonna be like, fuck, yes, I want that. Mm hmm. And for me, like, that’s really fun. And you know, I did my radical self love. Coven was a class where I had guest teachers and we taught you know, Tarot and astrology and all these things. And now I’ve moved away from that a little bit. And, you know, it’s like, I think it’s fine to evolve and move on. And there are times when things are really beneficial to you in your life. And then there’s times where you have like other techniques that are serving you better in the moment. So you use those. Yeah, and I think it’s really important to honor your own evolution throughout your business, like you might be known for teaching yoga, and maybe you’ve been doing it for 20 years. And now you’re like, if I have to do another downward dog, I’m gonna, whatever put my pants was, like, run away.

Alex Beadon 35:17
You seem to just live your life like following your excitement and your curiosity like End of story. And I love that about you. It’s so rare.

Gala Darling 35:27
No, that’s absolutely what I do. And I can’t like I just cannot walk. Okay? If you’re an entrepreneur, you can literally do anything that you want. Anything. Yeah, you can start a TV station, you can have a new brand of bottled water. You can do like a Sylvester Stallone’s mother does. Os readings. So like a palm reading, but you’re off. You have to photocopy your buttcheeks and send it to her and she will give you a reading of your death. So it’s like using her as an example to show you that you can make money and serve your people a million ways. And if you are going to your work, or you’re opening up your laptop, dreading what you’re doing, something’s wrong. How to do something else. Stop bullshitting yourself, you know, all your excuses, or your reasons are just that they’re excuses. Do something else, send out an email, tell your coaching clients, hey, I’m not doing this anymore, do you want a refund, or refer them to someone else or close down your group program that you fucking hate looking at the Facebook group of or whatever, like, yeah, get rid of the dread in your life, it’s just gonna make you sick and tired. And you’re gonna need way more concealer and just like save the money, do something you really want to do.

Alex Beadon 36:58
That was the best sentence ever. Okay. So the next thing that I really wanted to talk to you about was your sense of self. I think of anyone that I can think of online, you are like the queen when it comes to really owning your sense of self, you know, and, and I feel like lately, especially I would say over the past few months, you really like stepped into you. And that’s why I was kind of happy. Because I started filming our sorry, recording podcast episodes a really long time ago, and I waited to talk to you. And I’m so glad that I waited because like, I just feel like I’m meant to talk to you now. But I feel like what’s so powerful about your business and why it works so well is because you are so yourself and like you. I mean, it’s visual, it’s inside outside. It’s everything. So I love for you to talk to us about how to cultivate that sense of self? And if and how much you believe that that has really been like your differentiating factors like how you you’ve been?

Gala Darling 38:00
That’s a really interesting question. I love that because I have to think about that. So I agree that I am more on myself now than I’ve ever been. And it feels so amazing. And the interesting thing about it is that the reason that I’m so myself is because I have been viciously uprooting all my old beliefs, all my old limitations, all my old stories and saying, fuck that no more. And I’ve been literally, like really, truly pushing myself out of my comfort zone multiple times a week, like every day, trying to do different things, trying to be a better person trying to change how I see myself. And it’s been an amazing, terrifying hair raising wonderful experience. And that’s the only way that you get to like the gritty, 60 Juicy center of yourself is by looking at your shit. Yeah. And people kind of don’t want to hear that. I think they feel like they want a shortcut to it. And

Alex Beadon 39:11
much yeah, they want like the easy route. They do.

Gala Darling 39:15
And it’s really intense. You know, I’ve been trying all these new techniques and going to all these seminars and you know, like, the last month I think, I have like screamed and cried in public. Both of those things, screaming in public and crying in public more than I ever thought possible. And, you know, I’ve danced naked in public in the last like two weeks and I didn’t know that that was going to happen. It was part of a class I was in like, it’s been really challenging. And I am doing things where like, you know, have a story around like, Oh, I’m not good at this thing. So I’ve been taking classes in that thing. And then I’ve been like, practicing that thing in front of people I love and respect and, and hoping that they won’t be like, you suck at that. And you know, and even, like practicing that thing, and then being them being like, yeah, you’re not really doing that, right? It’s like, it’s like an arrow in the fucking hearts. But if you don’t do it, you don’t get better. You don’t learn about yourself, nothing changes, you stay stagnant. I don’t want to stay stagnant anymore. And I’m realizing like the places where I really seriously have to up my game. Like, it’s ironic that radical self love is my shit. Because firstly, I came from a place where I really didn’t love myself at all. And then I moved into radical self love, and I’m so in it. And so like, I’m independent, I’m doing my thing, blah, blah, blah, that it has like atrophied my ability to relate to people, and to be compassionate, and to listen with my heart rather than my head and to really be with someone and have empathy and understand them. Like, I’m really working on those skills right now, because I’m not great at that. And it’s fucking hard. And like, being vulnerable, and dropping my old bullshit, it’s not easy. And, and at the same time, every time I do that, and I feel myself grow. It’s like a little celebration. And so again, I’m like, more on myself. Like, I love myself more, I love my body more. I’m like wearing colorful wigs and like, having a great life and wearing you know, silver sequined jumpsuits on stage and stuff like that. I’m like, really vibing my shit. But only because I’m putting the walk in. Goes

Alex Beadon 41:52
for someone listening. And they’re like, Okay, like, I know, I need to work on myself. What would you say? Because you just said like, You got really fed up of your own shit, right? And you realize that I had to stop, you had to like change your ways, and really be become the better person through letting all that stuff go. How do you get to that point? What is something that you recommend? Like? What’s a resource that you can recommend? Or like, how, what is the first step for someone who’s like, I know what it is, I’m terrified. And like, I can’t seem to

Gala Darling 42:25
leap. Okay, so here’s what I would say you do, you get out a piece of paper, and you divide it into four sections. And you pick an area of your life that you’re not happy with. Maybe it’s your body, maybe it’s your relationships, maybe it’s your business, spirituality, whatever. And I want you to write down, like what it is right now. How’s it feel, be totally honest, if your relationship sucks, write down, like we’re not having sex, or, you know, like, my partner is not kind to me, or I’m not kind to my partner or whatever. Write down everything that’s going on. And then, actually, it’s only two sections, it’s just, let’s just keep it simple. Mostly, you’re gonna write down like how it is. And you’re going to be totally honest with yourself, because if you can’t face it, you can’t deal with it. And then I want you to write down how you want it to be. And I want you to dream as big as possible, I want you to have a beautiful vision for yourself in that arena, and make it fantastic. And then see what the difference is and be like, What would I have to do to close this gap? How do I get from this to this, and the amazing, wonderful, great thing is that the world and especially the internet is full of programs to help you get from there to here.

Alex Beadon 43:49
So true. So

Gala Darling 43:51
find someone that has a class and something that you want. If you don’t like how your bank balance is looking then sign up for my abundance class. But like your relationships, Tony Robbins has an amazing relationship series that you can take, like, there are so many courses and classes at our disposal. But here’s the key. You have to actually do them. So when the email comes in, you do the exercise. Like I’ve been listening to this relationship program that’s blowing my mind. It’s 10 days worth of audio. I listened to it the first time with like my eyes, just like sauces, I couldn’t believe it. And then I went back to the beginning. I grabbed a sketchbook In fact, I can show you I mean your your audience can’t see. But I grabbed a sketchbook and I started making on everything that I was hearing and doing assignments. And it’s like the second time listening to it making notes and then taking the skills picking one and applying it every day for a week and seeing what happens like we really have to be active in this process, you can’t think your way to change have to act your way there. So find someone who is a leader in what you want, and do what they say, do what they say.

Alex Beadon 45:13
That’s,

Gala Darling 45:14
it’s like really simple.

Alex Beadon 45:16
But it’s so powerful. Because everything that you said, are things that are so easy to be to skip over and to be like, Oh, no, I’ll get to it. I’ll get to it. I’ll get through it and create change.

Gala Darling 45:26
That’s the thing is like people who are successful leave a trail behind them. Yeah, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Just follow their breadcrumbs do what they did. Yeah. And the even better thing is, most people who are successful have written about what they did, and also written about what didn’t work. So you can like cut out the middleman. You don’t have to do the stuff that sucks. Just do the shit that works. You have to actually do it. Yeah, you have to do it. And you have to want it. It’s about hunger. It’s about passion. And sometimes if you don’t have the hunger, it’s because your vision for what it could be isn’t compelling enough.

Alex Beadon 46:03
Yeah. Clear?

Gala Darling 46:06
Or isn’t clear exactly what you can’t get there. If you don’t know what you want.

Alex Beadon 46:10
That’s always like my first question. I’m like, so what do you want? Like, what are you trying to create and the amount of people who are like, I’m like, no good to hear.

Gala Darling 46:20
And to bring it back to my morning practice. Every morning sitting, my desire and my gratitude, even sitting my desire for the day, and then my desire for the future forces me to be like, What do I want? And honestly, the first couple of times I did it, I really was like, huh, Mmm hmm. And I was like, I can’t believe I don’t even like immediately know it. Yeah. And the more that you practice, like stepping into your desire, the easier it becomes, and when you know what you want, it’s so easy to get that. Yeah, you have to know what it is. And crucially, sometimes when there’s like something we want, there, it’s like a an issue. And there’s, it’s a stick and there’s two ends of the stick one end of it is like the thing that you want, and it’s juicy and beautiful. But the other end of the stick is like the lack of it and focusing on what you don’t have around it. So you have to be able to see it as like, already done feeling really good. And giving you all these beautiful sensations rather than like, I want this thing, but why don’t I have it? And what did I do wrong? And why am I never getting what I want? And why am I not worthy? I have to rewire how we think about these things. And it just takes

Alex Beadon 47:34
practice. Yeah, and

Gala Darling 47:36
nobody is yes. And nobody is automatically great at this. Like it’s a skill that you learn. But you only learn it if you make it a priority to practice it. So we have to be real with ourselves and not believe that we can think our way into change. We can’t we have to act our way there and we have to make it a practice.

Alex Beadon 47:57
This is so good. I love okay, we’re going to end on that note. But before we wrap up, I have four questions. Maybe five that I asked everyone at the end so what is one thing you do that has been a non negotiable in the success of your business?

Gala Darling 48:19
Having fun. I if something comes my way, and it doesn’t sound fun. I don’t do it. Amen. Okay, great. No matter what the money is, like, I always say no.

Alex Beadon 48:33
Share one mindset shift that made the biggest difference in your life as an entrepreneur.

Gala Darling 48:45
One of them was that people are looking to me to live an inspired, exciting, beautiful, sexy life. And if I’m not living that, then what the fuck am I doing? And realizing like I really have to. If people if I want people to look up to what I’m doing and be inspired by it, then I have to be an even bigger version of that. Which means I have to push myself out of my comfort zone. I have to try new things. I have to be the one who was the wigs like I have to really go for it in order for people to feel like they can make the smallest change.

Alex Beadon 49:28
That’s awesome. That’s such a good one. Like I feel like that hit me really hard. Okay. Fill in the blank, the world would be a better place if more people knew blank.

Gala Darling 49:40
how amazing they are. We are all operating under this delusion that we just suck and we’re not creative and we’re not clever and we’re not lovable and we’re not sexy. And it’s all bullshit. Every single piece of that is about your story you tell yourself and you are all of those things, but you’re just telling yourself some old bullshit that you learned really young. And you hold on to because like, it’s safer to be there. Nobody wants to risk it and like, maybe be proven wrong or, you know, they don’t want to be too big and have their friends be like, You think you’re so great.

Alex Beadon 50:18
Yeah, that’s such a big one. That is such a big one. Okay, the book that changed my life was

Gala Darling 50:29
changed my life. I don’t know if a book has changed my life, actually.

Alex Beadon 50:37
Fair enough. Yeah. Cool. The last thing, which is one of my favorites is every time I interview someone, I asked them to challenge our audience to do something this week, or to focus on something to take some sort of action. So what is it that you would like to challenge our audience to do?

Gala Darling 50:57
I want you to adopt my morning practice for a week, every day, I want you to open up the voice memo on your phone, I want you to record a like two or three things you’re grateful for. Something you want to do today, phrased as if it’s already been done. And something you want for the future phrase is, if it’s already been done, I want you to visualize it really clearly. And like get high on how good it feels. Once those things are done. And then I want you to send it to a friend. And the first time that you do it, you may not know who will be down for this. So send it to like five people. And at the beginning of the voice message be like, here’s the thing I’m trying I would love for you to do the same thing. Explain what you’re doing and say send me one back and see who wants to play ball. Do it for a week. Instagram, DM me or comment on my shit and tell me how it feels? Because I promise you it’ll feel so so good.

Alex Beadon 51:48
Thank you so much. I feel so great about this conversation. It was so inspiring. So much, Carla, and before you leave, can you let everyone know where they can find you online?

Gala Darling 52:03
Yes, I’m a gala. darling.com I am at gala darling on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, all those places, but Instagrams still the most fun one.

Alex Beadon 52:17
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. If you enjoyed it, I would love for you to give me a shout out on your Instagram story or anywhere. Just letting me know what your biggest takeaway was. You guys have no idea how helpful and useful it is for me. When you message me telling me what your aha moments were telling me what it is that you took away from the podcast. It helps me understand what is most valuable to you. And it helps me understand how I can be of the highest service to you. So if you could take two minutes to do that I would really appreciate it. Thank you guys so much for watching. I hope to hear from you over on Instagram. You can find me at Alex beaten and I will talk to you again very soon. Bye

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