#006 – Why Social Media Numbers Don’t Matter, How To Have High Quality Friendships, and Focusing on Vulnerability and Empowerment with JuVan Langford

Alex Beadon 0:00
Today I am so excited to introduce you to JuVan Langford JuVan Langford is a lifestyle entrepreneur, business coach and global speaker who supports men empowerment. And in this episode, we’re going to be talking about his core value in life and entrepreneurship, what’s really holding people back from achieving their goals, why he doesn’t care about his social media numbers at all and what he focuses on instead, we’re going to talk about how he maintains high quality relationships in his life. And we’re going to talk about the most important thing you should be taken care of as an entrepreneur. Welcome to on purpose. Do you ever feel like you’re trying to balance it all, nourishing your health while growing your business and living a life well lived? And no matter how hard you try, sometimes you slip from purpose driven into autopilot. Take a deep breath, relax, and let’s get you back to where you belong. On purpose.

Ron, I’m so happy to have you here on the podcast with me. Thank you for making time. Absolutely. Happy to be here. So my first question for you is where we I also have to just celebrate for a second, it just hit me that you’re the first man that I’m interviewing for my podcast, which is awesome. No way. Yeah. So this is really cool. Awesome. Okay. So first question, what do you find most nourishing about having your own business?

JuVan Langford 1:37
Wow. Well, I think the biggest thing for me, that comes to mind is core values. My number one core value is autonomy. Very important to me to be able to come and go as I pleased to be able to have flexibility and time and experience and relationships. And so I really enjoy the ability to be able to come to a country that I know nobody and to build a community, I appreciate being able to wake up when I’m done sleeping, I appreciate being able to walk in a room and to have the tools, tips and techniques on how to develop relationships because of going to, you know, weekend events and experiential weekends and doing workshops and online trainings and cultures. Time, Freedom has been a huge factor. And something I celebrate, I do not take for granted whatsoever. Because it’s very important to me. So being a business owner and entrepreneur, owning several businesses and the foundation and traveling globally, I really appreciate being able to have autonomy in my life, both personally and professionally.

Alex Beadon 2:41
And Did you always know that that was one of your core values? Like how did you come to that conclusion that you were like, Oh, this is what I should do?

JuVan Langford 2:48
Yes, I can give you the blanketed version, or I can give you like, we can go real deep real quick.

Alex Beadon 2:53
Yeah, let’s go real deep. Let’s

JuVan Langford 2:55
do it. So I’ll give you give you some broad strokes on my story. I’m from the East Coast of the US, USA. I was born in Bedford, Massachusetts, I was born to a teenage mother, my mother was 16 Share pregnant with me. I’m the oldest of five kids, I’m the only boy. So I’m used to being the only guy or the first guy. position. But as the story goes, I lost my dad when I was three. And my dad passed me a leukemia, he was 29 years old. Last week, I just celebrated my 30th birthday just a few days ago. So it was a big deal for me, not just because of the age, but because of my story. And my dad passed and so I my mother turned to drugs and alcohol, unfortunately, at that point, and I was raised in foster care in that experience of being raised in foster care. I experienced abuse, sexual abuse. And there’s something that happens for a lot of men and women, when you go through an experience such that that the depths of that is so many layers, textures and colors. But for me, I created this really dynamic relationship with authority. And I have an issue with authority, I still do something I’m still working through today. So I don’t like to be told what to do. I don’t like to be told I have to do anything, be anywhere. And so autonomy very early became something that I desired and craved. And you know, even working at jobs, I found myself just frustrated having to be there and having to stay I would get my work done and very efficient and time. Management is something I really believe in. And so I would get knocked things out that I had at jobs. And they were like, well, you have to say oh six, I’m done at 430 Can I have what? You want me just to sit here and just because of you know, it didn’t make sense. So I had a lot of resistance early on to to authority. And I realized that the only way I was going to be able to shift the dynamics of that was to be able to own my own business to be on my own time. So it was a really colorful transition for me what happened and I had some really phenomenal mentors and some some guideposts that supported me on that transition,

Alex Beadon 5:11
that seems to be something really big for you is the fact that you have like these mentors, like people who guide the way and really encourage you and inspire you to choose a path that that feels right for you. Can you tell me more about like, how did you attract those people into your life? Because a lot of people don’t

JuVan Langford 5:29
have that? Yeah. Yeah. You know, mentorship is everything. To me. Work for me is a no matter what I call them, no matter what says someone who can show for you, at times, and under circumstances where perhaps your life doesn’t make much sense. Just incredible, I can’t temporary angels that come into my life, and they just kind of swoop in and hear me the few dollars that I need, or give me that nugget of wisdom or pat me on the back in order to support me in the capacity which I need to be supported. And I think I’ve attracted them, because I’ve realized the importance of them. And one thing that was taught to me by one of my first mentors, he said, When you meet someone JuVan, make it a point to find something fascinating about everybody in me, there’s something to learn from every human experience, I’ll never forget that. And so I kind of made it kind of like a challenge, almost, when I meet people, whether I’m in this lane line at Starbucks, or I’m at a convention, or I’m walking down the street, I make it a point to connect. And most people men specifically don’t have the ability to connect, because most men, I work with men start relationships with their weapons raised, and they are defensive, and they don’t have the ability to be present with some kind of falling for a moment. And so I think for me, it’s it’s really practicing that presence and people feeling heard and seen by me and me, being very verbal, and very forthcoming and saying, you know, I feel there’s a lot for me to learn from you. And this is what I believe that I can learn, this is what I’m willing to do for that for that time. And I’m willing to support you in whatever capacity you need. And what I can guarantee. And what you can count on from me is that I’m going to take action on the information that you provide to me, period. And when you say that to somebody, something shifts inside of them. They’re like, wow, this is somebody that I think I cannot learn from as well. And I think I’ve learned how to, you know, attract, build and cultivate, you know, five star relationships. And so it’s something that I not only have developed with myself, but I take these tools and teach them all around the world. I love that

Alex Beadon 7:41
so much. Okay, so there’s two main things I want to dive into from listening to all of that first, can you take us down the path of your entrepreneurial journey? Like, where did you start? What kind of led you in that direction? And how did you end up picking up

JuVan Langford 7:54
steam? Wow, well, I started working at 16. Okay, right before my 16th birthday, and I was working at this insurance company, I walked into this insurance company one day, it was on my way, my route to school, and walked in one day, and there was a friend of the family. It was this guy, an older African American gentleman. And he’s just one of those guys that will just walk together always had a suit and tie very clean, bright white teeth, just a really smooth guy. And I walked in and I told him, I said, I’m looking for a job. And he says, Well, you know, we’re hiring. And I said, Well, I want to work. So I’ll do whatever it takes. He said, I like that attitude. He sat me down in his office, and he basically told me, I’m gonna have you do, I’m gonna have you registered people’s plates. So they have me taking the slips and going to the DMV and sending in lives on behalf of people. That was one of my first jobs. And I really enjoyed that. Because he gave me a lot of freedom, even though it was a job, he really gave me a lot of freedom to come down, make sure you handle this by the end of the day, and you’re good to go. So I like the autonomy. I like the like the flexibility that I had within that job. And then, you know, some finished school and I think my my next job after that I did a lot of production jobs. I came to California in 2009. And I was working for MGM and CAA and as an intern, vary which was a 180. From the flexibility that I had there because we were in an office I had to wear a suit and tie. You had to use certain language in the office, certain people you couldn’t connect with you had to be in a room and it was just so much structure and I felt a lot of resistance to that. But I have had every job under the sun from work in Africa, Zambia, and Fitch at the door of my shirt off to painting our Washington porches in the summer times to do tutoring to being a coach basketball, soccer football coach, to being an Uber driver to working in production as a creative director as a PA I’ve done personal assisting. I mean, I have done probably every job under the sun. I can name all of them. But it really wasn’t until Probably the last five years, maybe six years, I moved to California in 2010. And when I got here, I had a few realizations that production was something that I got to have some autonomy within as well. Because you get to work, you go from project to project. So I loved the ability to, you know, to jump back and forth. Again, flexibility is important to me. So, but I’d say, working in production, I worked at this multimedia company called Maker Studios, and I was one of the first of the 20 or 30 employees of this company. And we walked in to the office, they offered me a job to be a part of the company and the company grew, we grew a team from 30 was to 450 employees within like two years, whoa. office in London, and it kind of expanded in the company, what we did is we branded new and existing online influencers, a lot of YouTube stars, celebrities, athletes, and kind of pair them with bigger brands to broaden their audience and to bring money into their, you know, to their dreams and goals. And it was great, but the company isn’t being sold to Disney for a billion dollars. Whoa, I left there. Yeah, it was pretty crazy experience to be a part of that. And I left there started my own company, those 2013 and 2012 2013, and started my own talent, talent creative agency, which was great, and started a nonprofit organization. And let me tell you how it ended though. At the end of this entrepreneurial journey, I was in the office one day, and that my boss’s boss came up to me to say, hey, take a walk with me real quick. And I say, Sure. I said, what’s going on? And he said, I’m actually walking you to the HR office right now. And I said to the where, for what Nico’s work, today’s your last day. And I said, What do you mean? So when I got to grab my stuff from my desk, but wait, what is happening right now, I was so confused. It was a long walk. It’s a long flight. Wow. I get to the HR office and I walk in and as this white room, it’s a small, maybe 10 by 10 room, in the back of the building. And I walked in the room, they said, just please just work with this piece. I’ll make a big deal out of this Javan, you’ve been a wonderful asset to the company. But this is just how things work. And I walk into the room is this lady sitting at the desk and she says Hi, Mr. Lankford and shakes my hand Have a seat. And in the room, I sit down and she’s talking to me, she’s reading me my rights, right? Because it’s just like, let me go. And about 10 seconds and I blacked out. Right, I looked left Alex and on the wall and Blackstone two letters, read this said, Work Hard, Be humble. I didn’t hear anything. She said. I remember signing the paper. I walked out and that just stuck in my head. And I realized, wow, this is way bigger than what I thought you know, I was ready for this. I’d asked for this. I had prayed for this. I had thought about this. I had wondered and imagine what this would look like when I would when I would step out. And I walked out the office. And you know, it was a bittersweet experience tears of bawling my eyes of course, because I was being pulled from something that wasn’t I hadn’t made the choice to leave from just yet. But something was being made for me. And I remember sitting in my car, and looking in the rearview mirror and I said I will never work for anyone another day in my life I will only work with people will only work with people I looked at the last little bit of check that they gave me a little severance and a little bonus that they had given me to, to check my kick me out of what I had been a part of. And I hadn’t I haven’t worked for anyone since that day. And that was May 13 2013. Wow. And it’s been an incredible journey. Since then. It has been so many layers, textures and colors. This experience I have worked with so many incredible people I have traveled extensively to four or five continents. I’ve built clean water wells, and I’ve helped children in Dominican Republic and clothed and fed them that built schools in Guatemala and I haven’t met so many incredible people. I’ve launched workshops, online trainings. And what I’ll say to the people who are listening, I think this would be valuable is that on a journey to finding art forever, the thing that we want to do forever. However, on that pursuit, there are these things called for nouns. You may be working at a plumbing company and working on your bio and your website, seven to midnight at night for now you may be unemployed and be beating yourself up and killing yourself everyday. For now you may be single, and designing a relationship for now you may be in the midst of one of the most challenging points of your journey, but it’s temporary. It’s only ever always temporary. And if you could just stay focused on the end game and keep your eyes on the prize. You’ll begin to attract the people you’ll pull them in you’ll metal magnetic the resources and relationships will find you if If you choose to stay focused, and I think what has separated me from a lot of friends of mine who wanted to pursue his entrepreneurial journey is that some people have a strong will. But most have a strong wall. They won’t do what it takes Alex to, to stay to keep your head in the game to stay focused to do it anyways, I don’t have the money, we’ll do it anyways, I don’t know the next step, we’ll do it anyways, I don’t know where to go, we’ll go any just just any way. A little delusional in that way where it’s like, the alternative is working for somebody. And I know it doesn’t work for me. I put myself in a position where I kind of burned all the bridges and cut all sources of retreat, and have stuck to it despite and it’s been tuna fish and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at some point. And it’s boats and helicopters and private jets at other points. So it’s flawlessness, there’s no through line here, other than willing, being willing that having the will to stick to it no matter what.

Alex Beadon 16:05
I love that so much. Okay. So talk to me about your offerings, because everyone’s probably wondering, at this point, what does this guy do? What does he offer? Talk to us more about that?

JuVan Langford 16:16
Absolutely. So my, my focus right now is, is this probably to two legs here. One is I traveled globally to Australia, to Canada, to Africa, to India, and throughout the US Continental, facilitating two day experiential events, it’s very important that I’m able to teach people how to do three things, this is my focus, teach you how to self educate, so that you can self heal, and ultimately self generate, it’s about the self, me, myself and I, if you can really understand your story and your experiences, you can manipulate them so that they work for you and your favorite, and you can produce desirable results. So that’s what my weekend is all about. So it’s about diving deep, and providing people with men and women with tools, tips and techniques. Now, the difference between me and most people is that I separate men and women. So I do men’s only events, and a woman only events are very dynamic. Why? Because the conversations that come up in a woman’s only event in a men’s only event, I can’t say that people are willing to go well, when they are not in a woman and worried about comparing themselves to the opposite sex for worrying about how they’re going to be received by the men or the A woman is powerful. There’s so many dynamic breakthroughs that happen in those rooms.

Alex Beadon 17:34
So can I ask you a question before you move on? What is the main difference between when you have an event with women? And when you have an event with men? Like what’s the core difference between both?

JuVan Langford 17:46
Absolutely, I think let me tell you, let me tell you the similarities first. What men and women are both attempting to do or on the pursuit of are making peace with their pieces. We’ve all been, quote unquote, broken in some way. We’ve had an experience and event or an encounter that has shifted our perspective and caused us to limit the way we think what’s available to us. Right? It’s a lot of men are cause because of that, because experiences they go through feelings of inadequacy. They have what I call impostor syndrome, they only feel significance, but when they’re in power, they have an inability to receive state, they don’t know how to be alone, right? And all because they have an inability to access their emotions, they don’t know how to access the emotions, many of the experiences that life calls into, because fourth causes fourth into requires that component. And when it comes to women, women have access to emotions, but they don’t always have the ability to think logically or linearly. And so they operate from the emotions. So what men do what women do, externally, men do internally, right? So this is why there’s so many, you know, in my experience, so many disconnects in the communication between the two sexes. So it’s really powerful that women are willing to be emotional, but not take a step back and look at the bigger picture when men are back away from the solutions that they can’t even see what’s available to them. That makes sense. Yeah,

Alex Beadon 19:18
that’s super interesting. I love it. Okay, cool. So we kind of deviated so that’s the first part of what you do. The second part is,

JuVan Langford 19:26
the second part is I have an online academy. So I have an academy where I do business and life coaching and supporting entrepreneurs and really getting clear on one man’s story. I think there you know, entrepreneurship is something that is broadening the pool has been become saturated. Everybody wants the autonomy, everybody wants the flexibility. Everybody wants this luxury lifestyle, doing all these things, and it’s great. However, what differentiates Alex from JuVan and JuVan from Michael and Michael from Sarah is to our stories, most people but don’t know how to effectively communicate your story and their experiences and sharing the parts that count, right? everything that counts can be counted. And so a big part of my online account, and entrepreneurs get clear on this story. Because when you’re clear on your story, then you can deliver value people can see value or when the value is communicated people pay whatever they whatever you want for your services that do that, and then they get clear on their legacy. What’s the what’s your end game? What is it here that you’ve come to leave behind most people think of legacy as something that you leave behind. But my focus is living your legacy, you know, I’m doing I get to experience the legacy that I’m creating, versus doing all these things, wait until I’m 50, or 60, to create a nonprofit, but I’ve been able to be a part of that for the experience. And so those are the main focuses of the academy. And then I dive into the finances and dive into the relationship building and the resource development. So it’s a pretty, pretty pretty, it’s like a, I say, a fast, fast start, deep dive kind of bootcamp, if you will, for those for those who may just be beginning, but those who are in the midst of building a business and have hit a hit a wall, and don’t know how to really effectively communicate what they’re offering us.

Alex Beadon 21:14
Yeah, and connect with why they’re doing it in the first place. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so the next thing that I want to ask you is a excuse or something that I hear a lot from people as to why they can’t seem to find the right clients. And so I’m really curious as to what your take on this is because as someone who works with a lot of men, on getting in touch with their emotions, when a lot of men don’t even know that they’re not in touch with their emotions, because they’re so far removed from their emotions. I’m curious as to what the marketing process is like for you, in finding the right men to work with?

JuVan Langford 21:51
Well, I believe that we attract who we are. Because most people don’t know who they are. In this moment, when the client does arrive, they know not how to communicate, they know how to connect, they know how to be able to garner a relationship. You know, I think most men that I work with, you know, it’s Australian men, English men, American men, African men, Indian men, most men don’t have the capacity to connect. It takes a lot of presence, a powerful presence requires that you be powerfully present. And most people are so focused on the money. And so focused on the end game, the transaction, that they missed the transformational experience that’s available between you and the other person. So I don’t talk about money until the last probably 90 seconds of the conversation because the money will come, money will always come. And if you focus on the money, you miss the people, people the money comes what I’ve what’s what’s changed from me, is I, I’ve really been driven by the movement, to teaching people how to build movements out of their message. And I don’t have companies I have movements, I have several movements, I have, you know, my elevation effect with men, and that’s, that’s a movement and I have bravery with women. And that’s a movement, I have the mentor with my young boys that we teach leadership and development, character development skills, you know, once a month, 500 kids, five minute boys, no teens, that’s a movement is all movements. And my movements have momentum. Why? Because I have learned how to enroll people into my vision. Why? Because I know my story. Of that. And I think a lot of it begins with the story.

Alex Beadon 23:43
That’s so much. Okay, so you used to work with influencers, you said, or the company that you worked with us to work with influencers and pairing them up with, with brands. So obviously, you know a lot about the social media landscape, and just social media in general and communicating online. So I’m really curious to have this conversation with you. Because what has fascinated me about you so much, is that it’s exactly what you just said, you were so deeply rooted in your message and in who you are, and what you’re about and what you bring to the world. That every time I see you online, it just feels powerful. Right? It’s like I don’t I don’t really feel like I see anything that is inefficient or something that doesn’t get a strong message across. And what was interesting is the first time I found you, I was like, Look at this guy he has like, I just checked 10,000 followers on Instagram, 3000 Facebook fans, 1800 subscribers on YouTube, which isn’t a lot compared to many other people out there. And yet, you’re out there and you’re doing your work and like you’re still making things happen for yourself and not letting like the numbers slow you down like you’re clearly unaffected by the numbers. Right? So I would love to hear you talk about that. Your relationship with social media, and just how you feel about everything I just said, yeah, if

JuVan Langford 25:05
I can speak, speak candidly, for a moment. I’m so over social media. And I say that with with so much love, because social media has really been a huge support it as far as the expansion of my business, a lot of people find me through social media. But I’m not enrolled in this agenda that is build, build, build more, more and more, you made a post about this recently that I saw, because I’ve watched you as well, you did a video and he was talking about quality over quantity. Quality is so much more important. And I realized, you know, when I first started being an entrepreneur, one of the things that was told to me is find your core 100. Find your core 100. And I was like, Okay, well, what does that mean? Find 100 People who are ranting and raving fans of your work. And so my focus has been to develop that core 100. I’ve been working on that. And I did that with my men. And when I hit that 100 It was 150 when I hit that that number, and I mean when I say that number 150 150 men in an online community on Facebook group that I’m nurturing and supporting and loving on and asking questions and inquiring and sending surveys and I want to know these men, well, I know these men’s wife and other children’s name, I know where they’re from another vision, their goals. I know what they’re up to in the world. No one. I know a lot about them. Right? Because I focus on this community. People because I love on them. And I nurture them, they bring more people. This is something that I intend on doing Alex for the rest of my life. Yeah. If that’s the case, I’m in no rush to build that I’ll hit a million at some point. I’ll be on Oprah. I’ll do all those things. I’m not in a rush. And I don’t feel like I’m competing with anybody. Yeah, more as a person who finds what works, and makes it work for more people. So I’m playing the long game here. I’m not playing the short game of all let me hit 5k. Let me hit 10k. I played that at one point. And then I realized this is exhausting. Track I’m losing sight of why I’m doing this in the first place. And I’m being coming disappointed and creating this resentment around this vision that once I was on fire for now, I’m losing the flame. I’m losing the spark. Why is that? Because I’m focusing on something I can’t control. All I’m focused on something that it doesn’t make a difference. If I do or not the people who see my content, I get messages all the time, Alex JuVan, I was this was maybe two years ago, this guy messaged me on on Facebook, it wasn’t like a huge threat, maybe six or seven paragraphs. And it said, Thank you. Thank you so much. I was walking on my way from leaving home this afternoon from school. And I’ve been going through a lot with my mother and my father passed away. And I realized I didn’t have much to live for. And as I was walking to the bridge to take my life, your video came up on my phone, and I sat my back against the bridge. When tears I just wanted to let you know that you saved my life today. When you get messages like that, Alex, I give I have full body chills right now. It’s like, excuse my French before the numbers. Yeah, you’re about the numbers. I care about the people. And stepping into this entrepreneurial journey, focusing on the people. Money has always done its way to me, I’ve always been I’ve never wanted for anything during this entrepreneur journey, because I’ve been committed to the game. When you commit to the game, the game will take care of you, when you commit to the vision that vision will provide for you. When you commit to something bigger than you. You cannot lose you will only ever always be protected. And so I’m a little delusional if you think about it like that, you know, doesn’t make sense. Well, how do you do it? If I Why don’t you just stick to it? And I think the biggest groupings, community, community, community community I have been all trust selective. Most people select I’m selective when it comes to the community people I’m around. So big thing because those people influenced the way I think and the way I feel about myself. If someone is around me, and I feel like I’m exhausted, this is not my people, find your people. It’s something I talk about a lot and I saw a video you did that as well. But finding the people you gotta find your people the reason why people aren’t winning when you transition from being an employee to entrepreneur is because you spent too much time with not your people. Yeah, Alex and I used to be so close but we’re, you know, she’s she’s she’s kind of different now. And like she’s she’s it’s got a little negative she was dating this guy, or she’s not your people anymore. He’d been moving. Okay about that. The second thing that I would say, that has been a really big opponent to my success. As of late, is self care, I guess the best way to say is like spending time with me that I didn’t know how to be alone before, like most bet. And I think the leading cause of depression and anxiety and pain and shame ego for men is, is loneliness. And I learned that being there’s difference between being alone and being with yourself learn how to loved on me, and that’s massages and manicures and pedicures and, and going to the beach and going to the gym and eating clean and like taking care of my vessel. Because when my vessel is down, my business is down as an entrepreneur, if you get sick, the business is sick. If you’re depressed, the business is depressed, it’s all affected, it’s all touching. And so taking care of me has been a big proponent to that as well. And the third thing I would say is, that has been really, really huge for me, is, you know, I do this thing every year, I call it the starting five. And I pick five people that I deepen my relationship with. You know, I’m writing a book right now. And this book is a big part of the book itself is teaching people how to become relationally wealthy. And I think if we all chose our starting five, the beginning of the year, oh free, if it’s if you’re watching, you’re listening to this, and it’s February, March or April, whenever whatever month you’re in, you can start right away. But five, five individuals, who you feel that you can learn from that there’s something available to you and go to them and tell them what you see available, acknowledge what’s available for you. And then make a commitment that you’re going to support them as much as they can to support you. And make an effort weekly or monthly to connect these people, whether it’s lunch, dinner, or a phone call and be with them and learn and grow and ask them what they’re up to and be invested in their vision as much as you desire them to be invested in yours. And those three things, I’ve been a huge proponent to my success as entrepreneur. And if you can notice, it’s all people, community development myself in my in my starting five, is this the people who have supported me. So if you’re entrepreneur, you’ve hit a wall, it’s probably because you haven’t found your people. It’s probably because you haven’t developed a relationship with yourself. You don’t know yourself. Because I know myself. I’m interesting. So people are interested. And that makes all the difference.

Alex Beadon 32:24
I love that. Can you talk a little bit about how you got comfortable being with yourself?

JuVan Langford 32:33
Well, I got comfortable not I realized how uncomfortable was being with myself first, I think, I think, you know, the way I think of it is I feel like we’re born into a world just oozing with all this wisdom and knowledge and self understanding. And then we enter this thing called the world that’s built, constructed and designed to cause us to forget who we are. And we get enrolled. And first it’s just an idea. And then it’s a story. And then we tell the story so many times it becomes a truth that I’m ugly, that I’m not enough that I’m overweight, that I’ll never do this, that I’ll never have this. And because we believe these things we operate as people from our truth is that we stay broke, and we stay broken. And we stay confused and conflicted because of one moment, one moment, just one moment. That became our truth. It’s so It’s so crazy how a moment turns into an identity. Shifts in entire identity. And what I’ve learned is that you can do mentorship through reading through books through coaching, is that you can shift the any any any identity. And when you go from being an employee to entrepreneur, it’s a huge identity shift. It’s kind of for me, I played basketball for 12 years, I played overseas, I played in college, I played in high school, and to let that go. And people said, what do you do? I can’t say actually, I can’t say basketball player anymore. Do I say I work for this company. You know, people don’t know what to say they don’t know who they are, because who they are. And what they do are often two different things. And I finally found myself in a place where they’d become one when it merged. And it’s a beautiful experience. But it’s gone from that tradition. It’s called Identity foreclosure, and you got to shut down who you think you already become who you’ve always been. And that’s one of the most challenging journeys and that’s why having a coach in the community is important, which is why I do the workshops. You know, for men and women. It’s why I have an online academy which is why I work one on one with clients as well. And diving deep and challenging them and being that corner man for men and women who don’t have that support that they need. It’s so in coaching is so invaluable. You know, it’s so invaluable to have someone that would be able to be a loving interruption to your life and to be able to to knock down the walls that you scratch up that you crawl that that you look at, and it just intimidates the hell out of you. Important to have those those people in your life and so I’m excited to be here, I’m excited to be able to be a contribution. And I, I don’t coach because I have all the solutions around the story that I’m very clear on that overflows of solutions. And I think if I can invite people who are listening to do, you know, a tangible, tangible, tangible tool or technique is to really develop relationship with with two people. The first is with your inner child is to really spend some time with a little boy, a little girl inside of you and really listen to them. Because that’s where you’re operating from more often than not little boy, me was filled with shame, guilt, frustration, anger, and the man was really afraid of this boy, I grew to be this sensitive man, this emotional man, we’re gonna have this angry, you know, you know, little boy inside of Mansell, teaching the boy in the man to hold hands, and finding that alignment has has made all the difference. And that came from community from spending time with myself and finding people who could really see me for who I, who I am. And the second relationship is with some with the higher power, you know, I, some people were really resistance to spirituality, it was just a religion and theology. But I think it’s very important for us to have a relationship and to be able to have a conversation with something bigger than you, whether that’s Allah, whether it’s God is Jesus, that’s Buddha, whoever that may be for you are just talking to nature, sitting in nature, at the beach, talking to the ocean, talking to trees, talking to the grass laying, we’re back down in a field somewhere and just speaking your truth, get it out, write it, speak it, you know, find people who can, will you feel are worthy of your truth, you know, maybe that’s not the starting five, maybe you just got the number one, if you pick one person and you just go a place, you’ve never gone with someone before. And the freedom that lives on the other side of that conversation, I can’t tell you how much is available there. And I feel such a sense of duty and responsibility to share this message and spread this message on every podcast, every TV show that I can, because you can’t experience this freedom that I have inside of me and not want to go all around the world and teach you know, it’s infectious.

Alex Beadon 37:27
I love enthusiasm. That’s awesome. Okay, so before we wrap up, there’s one thing I had to talk to had to talk to you about today. And it’s the topic that you brought up in your most recent video, you basically talked about how we have a tendency to fight so hard for our limitations, but not for our life. And you spoke about the importance of making space, making room for what it is that we want to bring in. And you kind of touched on it just now. But I’d love for you to just go a little bit more in depth with us on that.

JuVan Langford 38:02
Man, I could talk about this forever. I know. One of my favorite topics. Where do I begin? I’d say this, most of us are winning the losing game, for winning the losing game. And we’re not rooted in anything. So nothing’s growing. I’m gonna say that, again. Because we’re not rooted in anything. Nothing’s growing. And I think the content that I’m producing, you know, this human content, if you will, that I’m producing, is really getting people to understand that it’s not money that’s holding you back. It’s not even time that’s holding you back. And it’s not even relationships, not even the people around you that are holding you back. It’s the fact that you have been taking some time, and to be with you. And to be honest, exquisitely honest about where you are right now. But think of it like this, if you are on the corner of Maine and Fifth Ave. And you want to go wherever you call the Uber and you say, Hey, I’m on Main and eighth. The vehicle that’s intended to get you where you need to go, we’ll never arrived because you were honest about your current location. And some of our car locations aren’t pretty that’s why we can be honest about them. Broke, single, unemployed, depressed, that vocation is not so cute. So we’re not honest about that. But if you live amongst the willing, you will win. If you live amongst the will and you can be honest about where you are. Then you can begin to move things out of that space and you can create room because the only thing holding you back from stepping into entrepreneurship stepping into a relationship stepping into love stepping into the life that you desire, is that you don’t have space you don’t have room for these things. And the reason why we don’t have room is because we haven’t taken the time to be honest about where we are. And I think that’s been the biggest shift for me. And it’s the most challenging. It’ll be one of the most challenging moments of your life, to be honest about where you are. And to be honest about what you’re pretending not to know. I pretended not to know, a lot of things, you know, at the beginning of this journey that, you know that I, as far as you know, with money, I wasn’t introduced to money properly. You know, I grew up in a household, there wasn’t any money out, there wasn’t any money and money was the thing that you spent wasn’t thing that you save, it wasn’t a thing that we had. So I, when I got it, I got rid of it. I spent a lot of time realizing that I was not realizing what being honest, I wasn’t, I didn’t feel deserving of money. The money wasn’t coming, because I didn’t think I was worthy of it. And if you don’t think you’re worthy of it will come speak to money ill, it doesn’t find its way to you. And if you chase money, it’ll run. So it was like this. It was always missing me money was always missing it. I didn’t understand what they told me. I’m a phenomenal guy. And I’m, I’m present and I have this amazing dynamic of masculine feminine energy, and then I’m present in that, man, I love being around you. But where’s the money? Alex? Where’s the money? I shouldn’t be making money, like all these other guys will travel in the world. Where’s my money? Why why is it so hard? Why is it so challenging? And so when I was finally honest, and saying, Okay, I don’t think I’m worth that. And if somebody asked me how much I charge an hour, I wouldn’t know what that is. And if I did a weekend, I don’t think anybody would come. And I had to keep being honest. And I dove deeper into that. And I had some really uncomfortable conversations. And once I could be honest and say, Okay, well, what do I believe? Okay, what what is real? Okay, what do I know? And stepped into to this thing called personal responsibility, that thing that most of us dance on the threshold of? Right. And when I did that, so much shifted, that exquisite honesty has been such a, I owe so much to honesty, I owe so much to vulnerability. In fact, I joke and I say vulnerability pays my bills, in short does because I’ve just been willing to talk about things that most people most men would not. Yeah.

Alex Beadon 42:21
Oh, I love it. Okay, so to wrap up every podcast, I ask a few questions, I’m gonna ask you these questions. And I just think that was the perfect place to end it. Because I think people are gonna listen to that. And it’s going to wake them up and point them in the right direction. So I want to say thank you for that. Okay, so what is the one thing you do? And action step that you take? That has been a non negotiable in the success of your business?

JuVan Langford 42:48
That’s a good question. non negotiable. I’m a, I’m a result oriented guy. And whereas I live my life based on results, so when I set out to have 30 people in a room or a weekend, it happens, sometimes that looks like me gifting three tickets, but there’ll be 30 women or 30 men in that room. So being a man of my word is a non negotiable.

Alex Beadon 43:19
Share a mindset shift that made the biggest difference in your life as an entrepreneur.

JuVan Langford 43:26
I speak English, I speak Spanish fluently. Wow. Perhaps the best language that I’ve ever learned, is becoming fluent in Notability. And that’s the mindset shift is going in there anyways, talking about being raised in foster care, talking about sexual abuse, talking about my mother on drugs, talking about losing my dad, those are things if I could be quite frank, I don’t want to talk about things. I don’t want people to know, I’m a very private person. I’m not secretive, but I’m very private. And I am sharing those things. It’s humanized me, it’s authenticated. And people say two words that every entrepreneur really wants to hear me to JuVan mean to and it’s a connection point. And I’ve had so many incredible clients because of it by workshops, I fill one for confidence because of it. And its vulnerability has been one of the tools that I have. Always lead with, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Alex Beadon 44:23
I love it. Okay, fill in the blank, the world would be a better place if more people new

JuVan Langford 44:29
blank, got mentorship wasn’t the answer.

Alex Beadon 44:33
The book that changed my life was

JuVan Langford 44:36
all the places we will go by Dr. Seuss.

Alex Beadon 44:40
And lastly, I would love for you to challenge our audience to do one thing when they listen to this podcast. They’re going to have the rest of the week to think about it. What’s one action step that you would like for them to take?

JuVan Langford 44:58
Boy oh boy. So many of them in mind. Here’s the interesting challenge. I had a big challenge with self love. Much of my life, I hated myself up well into my 20s. And I was challenged to do this thing I’m gonna challenge everyone on whether you’re a man or woman to listen to this, I was challenged to every night when I showered or fuchsia or the morning to take five minutes to sit on the edge of my bed and to lotion my body from head to toe. And I thought that’s pretty corny. That’s wack. Guys don’t do that. I don’t even use lotion, I every excuse. But I did it for seven days. And I saw scars on my hands on my legs. I didn’t know that I had, I saw, you know, Birthmarks and I saw my hands for the first time on my feet, and my ankles and my knees and a mind body. I looked at my body for the first time ever really, you know, I played sports and I was in the gym. And I’ve been in the showers. And you know, I’ve been in the mirror plenty of times, I’ve modeled and develops things by never saw me, like me. And I grew to appreciate my body. And I was very aware of my posture and aware of my hand movements and my mannerisms because of that. And it helped me in ways that I I still don’t fully comprehend. But I grew this confidence within myself by learning how to be with myself. And I think if you don’t feel confident with your body, or you don’t know yourself, as well, as you’d like to, I think that’s a great exercise of just motioning your body from head to toe and just being with yourself. Just give yourself five minutes to be with yourself and laying your back and just be there naked, lay naked and just be with you.

Alex Beadon 46:47
I love that. JuVan. Thank you so much. This was an epic podcast.

JuVan Langford 46:52
Alex, this is a pleasure. And I really appreciate you for having me on. And I just want to thank you for giving me an opportunity to spread my message and my story. And for continue to go through this experience over and over and over again, I know the work it takes to do exactly what you’re doing. And I know that it’s not always easy. So I appreciate you for giving myself and people like me a platform to be able to spread their message because I’m extremely committed to it. And anybody who does come across this message and would love to have another conversation, they can head on over to jump on life.com and check me out and schedule a 15 minute Skype session jam session to talk perhaps I can support you in some capacity in your personal professional life. And follow my journey and photos on Instagram would love to connect and support you I just want to say that those who have a strong will will always win those who will win. Just want to end on that note.

Alex Beadon 47:46
Thank you so much for tuning into the on purpose podcast and I really hope that you had as much of a blast as we did. If you liked what you heard and want even more, make sure you leave a review because it really helps support what I do here on the podcast. All you have to do is search the podcast app for the on purpose podcast, select it then scroll down until you see write a review and then type away. I hope you really enjoy your week and I will see you guys again next time stay on purpose.