On the brink of butterflying

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Confessions … I haven’t been responding to all of my texts or emails. I’ve been drinking a lot more than I normally do. I’ve let myself completely unravel. I’ve taken up running. I’ve been writing a lot. I’ve felt everything and nothing – all at the same time; immense joy and immense sadness; love and heartbreak; deep happiness and debilitating fear. I’ve had panic attacks. I’ve spent plenty of hours curled up in tears on my bathroom floor, surrounded by snotty tissues. I’ve embraced my faith. I’ve alienated and questioned my faith. Without any notice at all, I stopped sending out my VIP List emails. I stopped making videos. I stopped blogging. I found comfort and abundance in the simplest act of being still, like nothing could ever be taken away from me because the richness of this moment is ever-present.

The last three months have been some of the most challenging of my life. Taking steps towards consciously creating the life of your dreams is far from easy. My motivation levels to sit down and get my work done have never been lower, which is highly unlike me, and through all of this change, I have given myself permission to allow my business to take a back seat.

photo-1444090542259-0af8fa96557eI have been changing and evolving so much as a person, that the discovery of myself has become the most important thing on my plate. Sitting down to chase my business goals has seemed utterly irrelevant lately.

Taking a step back from your business can be scary. But to be honest, I experienced far more fear from the people around me than from myself. They wanted to know, after years of being so present online, how could I stop? Wasn’t I afraid that people would forget about me? That I would lose my momentum, and not be able to pick up from where I left off?

I understood their fears, but shockingly I carried none of them. Somehow I seem to have a deep knowing and understanding of what I’m currently going through. And all of it is necessary: the time off, the step back, the silence, the space – it has all been 100% necessary.

Three months ago I found myself in a position where I had nothing left to give, and no amount of hustle or force was ever going to get me to where I wanted to be.There’s a difference between laziness or letting fear hold you back, and being so drained and depleted that you literally have nothing left to give.

Ultimately, I knew that if I kept creating videos, if I kept sending emails, and if I kept showing up to give more and more of myself, it would be like selling watered-down gas at a gas station. I was running on empty, and I didn’t want to be fake. I was changing, and I didn’t want to hold on to an expired version of myself. Instead, I wanted to get to know the new version of myself so that when the time was right, I could start sharing authentically again.

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Of course, I was sure to upkeep all of my existing responsibilities. The main commitment I have within my business is The Spark Lounge. It requires me to create four videos a month, which I place in the private Spark Lounge Library. But for the first time ever, I’ve been delivering exactly what is expected of me. Nothing more. Nothing less.

This has been scary, especially to the people around me who worry for my best interest. But I don’t feel threatened. Instead, I feel excited, expansive, and like I’m on the brink of butterflying.

If you think of a butterfly, do you think it regrets the time it spent transforming in its cocoon? Do you think it curses itself that it couldn’t have  stayed a caterpillar forever? Or do you think it knows that the time in the cocoon was worth it, because it now gets to experience the joys of being a beautiful butterfly?

To me it’s crystal clear that my time away from my business has gifted me the space to transform and evolve. Although my previous way of being was wonderful, there’s something new brewing under the surface, and I’m excited to discover what it is. This time away has been my time for transformation. This “difficult time” has ultimately been for my greatest good.

If you’re going through a difficult time of your own, a time where you feel “stuck” and “out of sync”, be open to the fact that sometimes the best thing you can do is take it easy, catch your breath, and give yourself permission to slow down. A few steps backwards can sometimes do you a world of good, I promise.

Watch this space. 

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94 thoughts on “On the brink of butterflying”

  1. Alex, I truly appreciate how open and honest you’ve been in this post. For the past two years that I have been following you, you’ve been such an inspiration.

  2. Ugh! Didn’t meant to submit that yet! But I wanted to say that you’ve been such an inspiration for me, in my business and also in my life. It’s incredible to see how you’ve followed your heart and created a fulfilling life for yourself by doing the things you love.

    It’s been clear that things have been changing for you, as I’m sure we’ve all noticed your absence. And I’m sure I speak for many of us when I say that we do miss seeing you online! But it’s so important to take that time for yourself and to figure out what you truly want. And I cannot wait to see what is next for you. <3

    1. Rachel, Thank you so much for this comment and for your love and support over the years! It’s so exciting to know that we are all in this together, following each other’s journeys and growing and evolving simultaneously! I love it! Thank you! <3 xoxo

  3. Alex, this is a beautiful post! I personally think you are amazing! I go back and re-read your blog post, and watch all your videos. Though I haven’t started a business yet, you are truly an inspiration for me in life, and business. I have learned the hard way that no matter what you are doing, if it is your business, or you are working for a company, you have to take time for you! If you don’t, you can’t help anyone else. Take time for you my dear! I leave you with this quote:

    -We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit to the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.
    {Maya Angelou}

    Sending you love and lots of hugs!

    Jess

    1. Hi Jessica, thank you so much for the love and YES! I completely agree with you – it’s so important to take time for YOU and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing! If you’re running on empty, you have nothing to give! And girl, I *love* the quote you shared! So beautiful! 🙂 Thank you for your comment! <3

  4. This is the thing we call life. And it happens every single day. As much as we want to keep going 100 miles an hour with our hair on fire in an effort to not disappoint anyone we have to realize that eventually we will crash. Nobody can keep that pace forever. We have to let things go and take care of ourselves. We get so caught up in our businesses and personal lives that we tend to forget what we really wanted in the first place. Slow down, take long breaths and take a look at the world around you. Hopefully the fog will lift and you will see clearly once again and find what inspired you to begin with. We go through these seasons throughout life as we face challenges and changes. And I promise you, every single time we learn do something new from them and even more inspiring, we learn something new about ourselves. Take the time you need and get everything back in perspective. You’ll be a better mentor for it. Sending you love and light.

    1. Mmmm Sandy … I love what you said here, “We get so caught up in our businesses and personal lives that we tend to forget what we really wanted in the first place.” YES! I’m not sure if you’ve seen any of my previous posts but that’s *exactly* what I was referring to! Slowing down and figuring out what you REALLY want! You rock, thank you for your comment!

  5. Alex I have so much love for you.
    .
    Thank you so much for being open in everything you do–not only when everything is outwardly “perfect” but more importantly when sharing puts you in a vulnerable place. It takes much more inner strength to be so honest. It’s a strength that you carry naturally into every post and that inspires me no matter what the topic.
    .
    I am reading Launch! and Scott Duffy says to surround yourself with people you want to emilate–I immediately thought of you. Your unique style of heart and hustle motivates me daily. I am so happy to know you are giving yourself time for your chrysalis. Keep on sparkling! ✨

    xo Ximena (he-men-a)

    1. Ximena,

      Thank you so much for your LOVE and kind comment. Your words touch my heart, and remind me of why I do what I do. Sending you so much love and hugs!

      SPARKLE ON!
      xoxo <3

  6. Thank you so much for sharing all of this Alex. Being so transparent has an affect when the hard times roll around and it becomes what now? Continue being transparent? Hit a the wall and just stop everything?

    And funny enough, you have done both so well. You’ve been transparent while taking those steps back and I commend you for that.

    Continue to do what you gotta do girl. You have a ton of people who got your back both on and offline.

    xoxo,
    Mariah

    1. Mariah, transparency is a huge part of what I do, and means a lot to me in all aspects of my life, so your comment means a lot to me. Thank you.

  7. This is perfect. It’s incredibly powerful for you to recognize that you are where you need to be and that you needed that space and time. It’s too common of us not to listen to our body & mind and to instead beat ourselves up over having to take a break. Or we cave into the fear and it sinks us lower.
    I’m suffering from depression and found that the only moments I feel free is when I follow exactly what it is that frees me. There’s just one chain I can’t cut yet, but when I do (and I will) I’ll be a beautiful butterfly, too.
    Follow what frees you, Alex. ♥♥♥

    1. Glady, I had to give up on beating myself up about it because as you said – it sinks us lower, and gets us nowhere. I’ve had to learn to accept myself, love myself, and CELEBRATE myself for the state that I’m in, so much so that when I’m crying on the bathroom floor, huddled up in a ball, I relish in how GOOD it feels to let. myself. cry. It may sound weird, but the tears and dramatics in that moment are *exactly* what I need. Know what I mean? I love what you said about following exactly what it is that frees you – that hit home for me! Thank you for your comment! <3

      1. So sorry for the confusion, I was typing on my phone. This is what I meant to write: When you are yourself people fall in love with you. – that is exactly what I feel from you, you stepping into yourself so openly and it’s beautiful! x

  8. I’ve been following you for a while, but not as closely as some. I’ve never been so motivated to open your email, then click the link, as I have with this post. This resonates with me.

    I’ve been in business for 4 years, but only the last couple have I really been working it as a business. This year I hired a business coach and I’m finally feeling like I’m connected to my business. I’m still working at it, but I’m really working this time.

    I think we all need time to change and grow, and sometimes that is a personal accomplishment to actually step back and reflect on who we are, what we’re doing and why, so we can start moving forward better and faster than before.

    Thank you for your honest and heartfelt post. It’s a real boost.

    1. Hey Jeremy,

      YES! Isn’t it amazing how much of an impact a business coach can have on your levels of performance! Also – I love what you said about taking time to ourselves so that we can move forward better and faster than before! That’s exactly how I feel! I’m glad you enjoyed this post, thank you for your comment!

      xoxo

  9. It’s so great hearing from you again and this post was so lovely and honest. I’ve absolutely LOVED following you ever since your PS Action days. It’s been so neat seeing the transformations you’ve already made and I am so excited for you and everything ahead. Sending hugs for the hard times and congrats on being on the brink of “butterflying!” 🙂

  10. I had a feeling this was what was going on behind the scenes, and I’ve been going through something similar. I’m really pleased to see you back though, you are really valuable to lots of people 🙂

  11. Thanks for this Alex. I wondered where you went but I already knew as I have been in the same frame of mind. I feel the exact same way. Congrats on taking a step back for you. It’s all that matters after all 🙂

    1. Randi, it’s so funny how similar we all truly are, feeling and experiencing the exact same things in different situations. I love it. Thanks for the comment!

  12. Dear sweet Alex,
    Thank you for your raw honesty! This is refreshing in a world where there is so much “Ra-Ra” for pumping up our businesses and lives to the point where we’re exhausted, or forget why we’re doing them in the first place.

    Your story and authenticity gives us each more permission to slow down, tune-in, and be willing to re-calibrate our lives. It’s not easy – and I commend your courage and tenacity to stick it out.

    Here’s to all the caterpillars, (including myself), who are ready to dive deep inside, and let go of all of the constructs of the world we know in order to transform.

    This reminds me of my favorite acronym for “TRUST” = Total Reliance Upon Spirit’s Timing! We cant rush these things.

    May your unfolding be blessed.
    ~ Love Gloria

    1. Gloria, thank you for your beautiful and heartfelt comment. Here’s to all the caterpillars and ENJOYING the journey along the way 🙂 And YES to your acronym for TRUST – beautiful 🙂 Thank you for sharing!

  13. This blog post could not have come at a better time. Thank you, Alex Beadon for being strikingly honest – with yourself and others – and for giving a beautiful spin to a dark spiral that many, if not all of us, go through at some time. Your words help us understand that such spirals needn’t be dark and downward, that all that which falters can fly again. Good luck, strong courageous butterfly. May your wings be stronger than ever before. xoxo

    1. Hi Kristina,

      I completely agree with you. “Such spirals needn’t be dark and downward”. In fact, as I mentioned in a previous comment, I’ve *strangely* enjoyed the heartaches and pains of it all … because it’s what I know I needed in that moment, and I had an understanding of the fact that these pains are just growing pains that ultimately make me stronger, which his beautiful. 🙂 Thank you for sharing in this journey with me and for your lovely comment.

      With love
      xoxo

  14. Alex, my love, I am always with you. I’m proud of you for listening to your mind and soul and taking this time to find your new self. I, too, am going through a change. I’ve been delivering the bare minimum to my blog readers and “followers.” I’ve even been considering stepping away from devices like my computer and phone for 48 hours… like a digital detox. I’ve slooooweeddd down a lot with my business. Way more than I’d like to. And for way longer than I’d like to. And though sometimes I worry, most of all, I’ve only realized that there is so much more to life than my business. Sure, my work is a passion of mine, but so is my family, my well-being and so much more. I’ve been trying to live more in the moment. And quickly learning that that’s okay. So, here’s to putting things before our businesses. Here’s to becoming butterflies! Keep shining, Alex. I so look forward to what you’ll have to offer the world next.

    1. Ali – it’s always so wonderful to hear from you and see your name on my screen! And I love what you said about coming to the realization that there is so much more to life than business like your family, friends, well-being and so much more. Yes, I breath that in and feel it with every ounce of my being. BALANCE, baby! Sending you big big big love! <3

  15. I.COMPLETELY.UNDERSTAND! And I am going through something very similar. Your message is empowering and I applaud you for listening to your soul and taking a time out. Wishing you ALL the best for your future. I know that it will be amazing!!!

    xoxo from Florida!

  16. You are such an inspiration to myself, and from the amount of comments to many others as well. Once again you have hit something spot on and pointed it out for all of us to see. Our world is just like that butterfly, always reinventing itself and we are not static beings and must renew also. I am sure that when you burst forth completely from the chrysalis, it will be with a renewed vigor, but with the same core values and strengths that you have always shown. Thank You for sharing your experience with us.
    Joyce

    1. Joyce, I love what you said here, “we are not static beings and must renew also”. Beautiful. Thank you for your comment. <3 xoxo

  17. Courageous, daring, honest, vulnerable & beautiful…
    Thank you.. <3 I'm at the same crossroad, but my health is caving in… Hopeful to come out the other side! Lots of love, strength & patience… Xoxo

  18. Wow….I’m new to your community Alex. I discovered you on YouTube while I was trying to learn how to build an audience. I really appreciate your candor and I look forward to Spark Lounge.

  19. There must be something in the air – or its just life stages… I’m in the metamorphic stage too and its really refreshing, encouraging and good to know there are others out there, who have just retreated and are waiting to see the butterfly!! Thanks Alex for sharing – looking forward to seeing your new wings

  20. Thank you for sharing in such an open and beautiful way from your heart.

    I honor that you took the time and did what felt right for you. In today’s world its so easy to stay connected and feel the pressure to do so much especially on social media.

    How wonderful that you took the breathing space to allow yourself to disconnect and cocoon and become even more of your beautiful soul self. Enjoy the journey! 🙂

  21. SO RELEVANT!!!! Beautiful , authentic, spot on, honest, genuine, and more. ::HUGS:: I relate to this season that you are in more than I can possibly write in words in this little comment box. I wish I could sit with you over a cup of delicious tea and share testimonies. 🙂 You are exactly where you need to be and you don’t need to feel guilty or explain yourself. I think taking time off for yourself is brave, courageous, and shows qualities of a leader. You can’t run on empty. You have to ask God to fill you up because service and loves comes from the overflow that you are filled up with. Trust where you are and that this is totally healthy and more entrepreneurs should learn to do the same. We can get so caught up in serving everyone else that it is very easy to let ourselves go in the process. I am going through something similar and I probably need to step away for a short period of time from a few obligations, but I am having a hard time doing so. I appreciated this post and it is perfect timing for me to read. And when you get started again, know that your tribe has already accepted you exactly as you are through changes and everything! That’s why we subscribe! Hang in there and remember that everything you go through will be a teachable moment for you to share in someone elses life. 🙂 xoxox

  22. Good for you honey in taking a step back. I was beginning to worry about you, but I also knew that you’d be back and be stronger than ever. We are all human beings, and we need that recharge time, reflective time and more. We need to do what is good for us first if we’re ever going to do good in the world.

    XOXO
    -Jenn

  23. Oh, Alex. Your vulnerability and transparency are so moving. I’m sure that so many of us here have felt (or currently feel) this same exact way. We are on the brink of butterflying. I love that. Sending you love and light during this period of self-care and metamorphosis. xo

  24. Hey Alex,
    Glad to have you back. It’s a blessing to have people in your life that love and support you. Life can sometimes take us down paths that we didn’t see coming, and have you questioning everything.
    It is definitely important in life to just be still at times, and make sure that you are OK. You are a wonderful person, and I hope that you continue to shine your light on others.

  25. Welcome to “the Dark Night of the Soul”. It’s a natural part of spiritual awakening. I did my time there February and March of 2014. I was in the middle of a nasty divorce, my grandfather and father had passed away within 3 weeks of each other and the company I worked for let me go while I was at my father’s funeral – crash… Take a look at Pamela’s blog about it http://www.aura reader.com may help validate some things for you.

  26. I’m totally there right now. Thank you for sharing your heart and just being real and vulnerable. It’s such a beautiful thing. Ever since my 2nd child was born a year ago I feel like I don’t have an identity outside of “mom”. I struggle to figure out who I am anymore most days, much less have time to grow my business. I keep telling myself this is only a phase. I know my kids will grow fast and I will regret things like not spending enough time with them over things like not working more. Even though I know all of these things in my head, my heart is hurting right now as I try to find my place in this space. Love you girl!

  27. Thanks for putting into beautiful words what my husband and I have been going through the past yearns well. We’ve been through a lot and our business has taken a back seat while we go through it. We moved to a new state, started new jobs, a new school and then we lost my brother in law unexpectedly. Ever since then I’ve taken the time to slow down and go through the grieving process. Sometimes life is infinitely more important than business.

  28. Life has different seasons, at the end all that matters is life, peace and our love ones. Thanks for being open and sharing your story with us. I already noticed you were gone, away from social media. I so recognize your words. We live in a busy world where there are so many expectations, that we sometimes forget ourselves and what life is truly all about. Thanx for sharing your story, it shows us, me that it’s oke to take a step back and just be. To Just be and enjoying the moment. Thank you

    You have been such a blessing 2 me, by just being you.
    Thank you xxx

  29. Hi alex.,

    Thank you so much for being so open and honoust with all of us.
    I know it can be difficult to tell the world about your heartaches. Especially when so many people are inspired by you. And expect stuff.

    Ever since I saw your first videos, i got inspired by your energy.

    In the last 4 years my life felt miserable so i totally understand that taking some personal time off is a good way to put things in perspective.

    Take the time you need girl and I’ll be here whenever you’re ready to rock it again.

    Xoxo chris

  30. I have only found you in the last couple of weeks and the impact you have made has been profound , I woke this morning to your blogpost and it was amazing to think that you have been experiencing a similar thing in life to me , these dark time have made me break out of what i now think of as my rebirth from a hard shell ( your’s being a cocoon ) Im not even sure who I am becoming but my trust in the universe has doubled and seeing the signs around me has cemented my faith in life
    I look forward to travelling my path with you as an inspiration to help me on the way
    Thanks Alex 🙂

  31. Alex! I have always felt so similar to you! this post is crazy I felt like I was reading about myself! xoxo I too have been doing a lot of what you mentioned in the first paragraph and I have noticed that (with my blog) my posts have been bare minimum lately too due to feeling just like this! but one thing that I have realized will benefit me, is to work ahead when I am feeling like I can, so that when I get in a funk (which happens every so often, with me i go through episodes of anxiety and depression) but by working ahead I can take a couple days off or a week off and just give myself attention live life more free… I am not sure if thats something that would benefit you or not but I thought I would share just incase you could benefit from it… the only thing with that is don’t work ahead and then like being ahead that when your not ahead on tasks that, that gets you down cause you feel behind! it’s a struggle for sure but I just wanted to pop in and and tell you what helps me! 😉 keep your head up girl! your amazing and there a tons of people who agree with me on that! we are all human!

  32. It’s always wonderful hearing from you Alex whether it be here on your blog, Instagram, Periscope, or any other social media network. Yes, we miss you of course 🙂 But your true sparklers are here to stay. And personally I love hearing more about the changes you’re going through and how you’re adapting to them. It is scary to think in this day and age we need to be “everywhere”, online all the time or people will forget about us. But quality is always more important than quantity. I also have a feeling you’ll come back with something really awesome that wouldn’t be possible without this time away 🙂

  33. This was a brave post to make, and it reminded me why I’ve always admired you. You’re honest – and you have an incredible intuition. I’m glad you are trusting yourself. You’re transforming. It is an honor to watch. I’m excited to see what comes next, when you’re ready. <3

  34. Alex.. this was truly truly beautiful. I can totally relate and I really do feel so inspired from this post. You are an amazing role model.. it takes a superhuman to go through what you went through and handle it like this. Sending you the happiest, healthiest, and most positive radiant vibes.. rock on sister!

  35. I was wondering the other day about you. I thought to myself where is my Alex? Lol and then plop, here you are! Loved the transparency in this post and I can relate. You are doing the right thing and you could never lose my support for taking a break. You did everyone a favor by refreshing yourself. Love it, keep it up girl!

  36. I just said to myself the other day “I haven’t seen Alex in my inbox in a while” and now I understand why. You are a brave soul and have achieved so much and inspired so many people during what is only the beginning of your life. Everything happens for a reason. You will get through this and your passion will strike once again. Embrace those new wings. We will all be here waiting for you when you’ve learned to fly.

  37. Alex, I have nothing but love for you, you are strong and you can do this. Inspirational even in your changing times. I am looking forward to the future for you…only someone who truly let themselves feel the changes, the pain, can experience the full energy and magnificance of the Universe.

  38. Alex, I seriously missed it when you stop all those positive and energetic videos. It takes so much guts to confess you needed a break or you’ll end up selling water-filled gas. This just make people appreciate you more, keep going girl! It goes to remind everyone of us that even successful people feel lost sometimes. Honesty and integrity is just so important, and thank you for sharing. I’ll be waiting for your even more exciting posts.

  39. I felt compelled to respond to this post. Not only to thank you for your raw truth, but also for describing where I am at right now. Extactly. Totally. Word for word. Thank you for bringing these feeling to words, a talent that I do not posses, however I can relate in every way to what you are going through. After working myself to the bone, and getting amazing results in my business, I have just downed my “tools” – the very thing that defines me. Just stopped. Although still doing the bare minimum that I need to. My goals and to do list are still there but I have no interest in them. Not even guilt, not enthusiasm, nothing. And now I know that this is a very sacred space to be. I believe in myself, I know something great will energy, it just needs time – as long as it needs. Watch this space indeed 🙂

  40. Hi Alex, thank you for posting this! I am in my 3rd year of business and feel a burn out coming on. Have been crying a lot and not sleeping. All too often you see mentors on line and think ‘why don’t I feel that positive all the time!’ It is refreshing to see the ‘real’ journey of having a business – including the necessary downs as well as the exhilarating highs x take care of yourself x (I’m going to allow myself a day off this weekend!)

  41. Hi Alex, thank you for posting the update of how life is going for the last two-three months. it is good to have yourself come back to reality from being gone awhile. keep staying strong and remember that people care about you and love you in anyway possible and so i do as well my friend.

    you do an awesome job for the business that you are doing om your own and also being positive about it of no matter what happens. hopefully we all can see you more this time around on social media because you are a great person. keep up the great work.

    xo, Randy ????????

  42. Dear Alex,
    I am so impressed by you, your heart, and your mindset. I have missed your emails (and that says a lot about how much I appreciate your inputs and being on your VIP List).
    I was, however, not surprised to find this kind of letter in my inbox. When people disappear from the radar for a while, it is often because they just need to.
    “What gain is there in winning the world, but losing oneself?”
    I am rooting for you, and I look forward to hear more about your new (pink?) butterfly gear and where it may take you from here. Wishing you the exact weekend you need right now 🙂

  43. Thank you for your honesty. I knew something was wrong and I was even more bothered that I was the only one asking about it. I’m glad you explained what was going on. I’m glad that you took the time that you needed and I also fear that. When I do fully launch my blog and get a following, I wonder if I will have a spell when I dont feel like posting anything and lose my following. Keep doing what your doing and know that we are still here. The true fans. We understand that things happen in life and sometimes you have to push the reset button. Love you Alex Beadon

  44. I cannot THANK YOU enough for sharing this. I have been in a very similar space for the past 6 months. In the beginning, I was beating myself up about it…until I realized that this just is what it is.

    I know my mojo will come back…but for now, I’m in this space and it’s okay. Thanks for being you and sharing your story.

  45. Alex-

    Your vulnerability is so refreshing. If we are honest, I think we have ALL been in this spot at one time or another. The difference is you are talking about it. Thanks for encouraging us to follow our own paths – whatever they may be and whatever they may look like. We are all different and that is such a beautiful thing.

    You are courageous, girl! Keep at it and thanks for sharing your unique and amazing journey with us (the tribe that enjoys your work oh-so-much)!!

    Sincerely,
    Jaclyn

  46. Alex, I’ve missed you but so get exactly where you are at and where you’ve been and totally understand. I too have had to pull that arrow back lately due to some family emergencies I’ve had to tend to and have had that question of if/when I go back to doing ALL that I was doing before will I want to and what’s become clear is that I have this fresh new perspective on what’s really important and will go back more focused than ever before – you know what I mean? anyways I always have been a fan and follower and will continue to be in whatever form/shape you evolve into.
    xoxo Joy

  47. Thank you for sharing! The human bond is truly fascinating! When we are confident enough in ourselves that we open up and describe the deeper recesses of our lives to others, that is part of growth. Across the board of spiritual revelations (if you believe),you are rising to a higher level and “butterflying” is a wonderful metaphor, but your change is something so deep you may have a hard time wrapping your brain around it. To whom much is given, much is required. So you have been chosen. Follow your path, humility – always, and fly…

  48. I just started recently watching your youtube videos. Probably for about a month now. They’ve been motivating, quick, to the point and helpful. As i watched some of your early videos and then your recent Vlogs..i sensed you were definitey shifting. I knew you were on this quest trying to figure things out like something wasnt quite right and you were determined to get to the bottom of it. What’s interesting is i sense that same shift in a few other motivational speakers and business coaches who have a platform as well. There must be something bigger out there that needs to be communicated and i guess you’ve been chosen to lead in whatever this shift is. Thank you for your honesty and transparency , it’s really spoke to me and gave me the courage to go after what i believe i am supposed to do! You are in my prayers!

  49. Baby girl, it seems as though you burned yourself out. I noticed a change while following your IG account. Running a successful business is both hard work and rewarding, but we have to remember to take time out refill. Even a steam boat runs out of steam. Just remember you deserve restoration and relaxation from time to time. I’m glad you’re back. We ❤️ You!

  50. Wow! What a great post. You really are an inspiration, and when I am stuck it is your videos that inspire me. I have learnt so much from you and can’t wait to learn more. Much of what you say resonates with me as late, so really appreciate your honesty. Awesome post

  51. I totally understand where you’re coming from. I have been struggling myself with very delicate personal situations that have left me stagnant in pursuing my business goals. I felt completely blocked for a bit over 2 years; a lot has happened and my most recent blog post after 2yrs of nothing was written right after watching a few of your videos for the first time. My boyfriend and I sometimes talk about certain plans that I have for my business and I tell him that I ask myself… WWABD? You have been an inspiration to many and you have a beautiful spirit. Sometimes we need to feed our souls so we can keep going. Much love!

  52. I just love and appreciate your candidness Alex. You are such an inspiration to so many, including myself, and I just love that you’ve decided to take a step back for YOU. I too, have felt much of the same in recent months. I decided to take the whole month of December off. It’s crazy how crazy life can get. Happy to hear you’ve taken some time for yourself. Lots of love to you Alex. xoxo ~Emily

  53. Amazing story. You are such an amazing person and it looked like you always gave more than you really needed to. We all need to take care of ourself first. Good Luck for what you have planned next.

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