Having done a lot of work with entrepreneurs on their businesses and brands, there are certain patterns that I have started to see come up again and again. It’s funny how the same issues can appear in a variety of ways for different people and different businesses, BUT what it all comes down to is fear.
Today I want to talk to you about the fear of what everyone else thinks because I KNOW it concerns you. For many of you, like me, it’s YOUR NAME that’s on your business. And the fear of public failure can be paralyzing – because what will everyone think?
Here are five reminders to help get over fear of failure, and what others think of you:
1) You Are Not Your Achievements Or Failures
I refuse to judge myself based on my achievements or failures because they do not define me. And so, if I fail, it’s okay – because I WILL get up and keep going no matter what and I will not allow myself to feel “less than” or “not good enough” for experiencing failure.
2) Failure Is Not Bad
Listen to the life stories of the most interesting people on the planet and each story is full of failures – big failures, small failures, it really doesn’t matter. Ironically, the failure is, many times, what makes their stories so beautiful. Because what matters is how the individual deals with failure. Instead of looking at failure as this huge personal embarrassment, we need to look at failure as what it is: a blessing in disguise, one of your greatest teachers, and quite simply, a part of life. Failure happens to every single one of us – no exceptions. So don’t let failure slow you down, use it as an awesome compass, a tool, a friend, a teacher, and a blessing in disguise.
3) Being Liked By Everyone Is Impossible
When I was in high school, I wanted to be liked by everyone, and no matter how hard I tried – it never happened. Although I was loved and appreciated by many for being so happy-go-lucky, many saw me as fake and contrived. I was viewed by many as “too nice”. At the time, this was crushing, but I now see what a great blessing in disguise this was for me because it taught me that it’s impossible to be liked by everyone. And so, I let go of the impossible desire to be liked – and I was free to just be me, no matter who liked it or not. It’s the same in business – you will create things that some people LOVE and other people HATE, and it’s all good!
4) Fitting In Is An Awful Business Strategy
Guess what? When you fit in, and you try to be liked by everyone – you may avoid haters, but you’re simultaneously avoiding super fans. So don’t be afraid to do something different. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Don’t be afraid to AUTHENTICALLY STAND OUT because THAT’S how you’ll get A LOT of positive attention.
5) Celebrate And Love Your Fans AND Your Haters
I’ve always said that if you’ve got haters, you must be doing something worth talking about – and that’s something to celebrate! Every time I send out an email to my VIP List, 50 people unsubscribe. FIFTY. But I don’t think twice about it – I KNOW that by them leaving, they are making space energetically for new, better-suited people to join my VIP List, and because of that – I celebrate. When people feel STRONGLY ENOUGH to email you hate mail, unsubscribe from your news feed, or take any other similar actions, remember that when you strongly repel people, it must simultaneously mean that you are strongly attracting people! CELEBRATE IT!
We all experience judgement from others, but all that matters is the truth. And YOU know the truth, it comes from within – you don’t need to find it elsewhere or in anyone else’s opinion of you.
Just to bring this point home, in the past 24 hours I’ve received 5 pieces of hate mail. And guess what? I’M STILL GOING, BABY, AND YOU ARE, TOO 😀
With love and hugs, bright wishes and energy,
P.S. Here’s a little bit of encouragement for you from Oprah herself – never let the haters get you down, never give up, believe in yourself, and know that we are all in this together! (Skip to minute 5 if you want to get to the good part)
4 thoughts on “5 Tips For Dealing with Haters And Public Failure”
Its cool to read a blog post in the middle of your vlogs @alexbeadon:disqus .. keep that coming. I especially like your 5th point about Celebrating And Loving Your Fans AND Your Haters. So very true. What I would suspect is that people are happy to get your JAB’s but then
when you give them your RIGHT HOOK they get offended like its wrong to be sold. Those 50 lost on the list are better filled by loving, appreciate customers and raving fans! As entrepereneurs this happens but your philosophy helps with this part of business. Nice post Alex.
Ha, thanks for this post Alex! I fear sending out newsletters as I always get unsubscribes, but love how you have framed this! It is so true, it’s not about the failure, it’s about how you respond to it and keep on going. You’re awesome! xx
This message is powerful for me as I have been spinning wheels for a long while, but have been pushing through the debilitating fear and doubt. I have just begun to understand the fear of the unsubscribe…I find it encouraging to know this is a common issue and that I am going to do this despite the “potential” hate mail. Great job Alex! I hope to write soon boasting some business success online. Blessings!
Great post, Alex!! As my audience on my blog grows I seem to be getting more + more nasty comments. However, with that comes the more positive comments + emails and I know I’m doing SOMETHING right. Wonderful advice!