It’s 5:58pm and I’m sprawled across my sister’s couch in London, laptop on my lap, typing … as you can tell.
I’ve got Beyonce’s new album playing in the background. (my biggest marketing inspiration at the moment, by the way).
I’m thinking. hard and heavy. as usual.
I’ve got some time to pour my heart out before we go for dinner, so here it goes.
It’s the first week of 2014, and while I’m feeling pumped and inspired for this brand new year, I’m also feeling a hell of a lot of pain over the year that’s just past.
And before I dive into this post I just want to say that sometimes it’s OKAY to be mad at yourself. It’s OKAY to want more for yourself. It’s OKAY to feel shitty about 2013. It’s OKAY to feel like you could’ve done better. It’s HUMAN to feel that way.
Even though it all sounds negative, even though it may all feel negative, I have to look at it as a very positive thing to be able to look back at a year and say “hey – it wasn’t my best year ever … but I learned a lot.”
For me, 2013 was a year full of total growth and evolution, while feeling totally stuck in place.
My BIG goals for 2013? None of them happened. There was too much change in the in-between for them to ever take place.
To be known and loved as “Alex Beadon the photographer” put me in such a box. I hate boxes. I couldn’t stand the stillness of it all.
I’m an artist. I want to express myself to this beautiful, magnificent and diverse world in more ways than just photography.
2013 was the year I struggled with that transformation. To give something up that I thought defined me, something I thought would be “forever”, and to fall out of love with the one thing I loved more than anything was like a devastating breakup.
And I knew it was coming. I knew the brilliance was coming. I knew there were things in life that I wanted to do that would make me come alive again, that would allow me to feel that magical joy again. Something that would give me back all of the happiness I had lost from my photography.
And yet, 2013 had to happen. Evolution doesn’t happen overnight. Everything takes time. I don’t regret the stillness. It just sucked.
Like a caterpillar that turns into a cocoon. All it dreams about is breaking free, spreading it’s new Butterfly wings.
All I dreamed about was the point where this “transformation phase” would be over, when I could break free and spread my own new Butterfly wings.
The truth is, I was heart broken. I wasn’t ready to break free.
And so I waited. And I wondered …
When would I be ready? When would everything be perfectly planned and perfectly organized? When would all of the right things fall into place?
And I think this very feeling is what holds so many of us entrepreneurs back from moving forward. Overthinking things, waiting on perfection.
But you know what?
I’m tired of waiting for perfection.
And I know I won’t be able to fully spread my butterfly wings until I start taking conscious actions to break out of this comfortable cocoon.
I’m so sick and tired of reading business books and overanalyzing every piece of advice as to how it concerns my business. I’m so sick and tired of hearing about what I “should” and “should not” be doing. I’m ALEX BEADON. I’m gonna do what I, deep in my heart, feel to be right. Because my heart has never lead me wrong creatively before, I have to trust it knows what it’s doing.
So this is me, diving into my NEW expression of creativity here on my brand new website.
Something heavy on my mind lately? I spend too much time creating for my audience and too little time writing for myself. That’s what these new blog posts will be all about – writing just for me. So that I can look back in five years time and see where I was at, and how I was feeling, and what I was going through.
And you know what? All of my best and most loved pieces were the pieces I created for myself. There’s a beauty in creating for yourself, no?
So all of these upcoming personal creations within my business? I have a feeling they’re going to be exactly what my audience needs more of: HONESTY. INSIGHT. LOVE.
You have enough people giving you advice. And while I’m happy to keep giving it, I think what we all really need more of are heart-to-hearts.
These personal blog posts are a part of my journey, and hopefully they will help you with yours, too. We’re all in this together. You have dreams. I have dreams.
I hope you find a safe place here. I hope together we attract people who are POSITIVE and PASSIONATE and ENCOURAGING. People who believe in living from a place of LOVE instead of fear. People who believe in the importance of their own creativity, even if it means breaking the rules. People who believe in breaking free from their comfortable cocoons.
I hope you enjoy the first few signs of my transformation as a creative. I know I will.
With love, hope, and positivity,
P.S. I would love to read a comment from you. So go on, you know what to do.